


Return to Storybrooke

by Skye_La



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emma plus pick up lines, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff, Henry is a Little Shit, Lesbian Sex, Outside of Storybrooke, Queer Mulan, Regina loves it, Smut, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:10:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 89,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_La/pseuds/Skye_La
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina Mills has been happily living city life with her son, rarely thinking about what she left behind in Storybrooke until she meets Emma Swan in a chance encounter 11 years later. The more involved Emma becomes in Regina's ordered life, the more the story of hers unravels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you're just starting this I have a note for you. I started writing this a long time ago and reading back, my writing has changed a lot. I hope that if you stick with the first few chapters and notice the improvement as you go along. 
> 
> I am planning to go back and re-edit at some point, when there is time in life.
> 
> *This is bit graphic from the start, heads up.
> 
> Thanks for reading and especially thanks for kudos and comments! :heart emoji:

Smooth music hung in the atmosphere in the bar. It was not busy, but there was a general hum of conversation. It was an exclusive place, too exclusive to be the usual rowdy Friday night affair. It seemed light but dim at the same time.

A doorman wearing gloves opened the heavy door by its polished brass handles.

"Thank you" a blonde woman said as she walked in. He took her coat and she went to the bar. She waited a moment before turning to a woman seated just down from her.

Her initial assessment 'late 30s, understated red dress, possibly a politician, though dark lipstick so more likely a businesswoman. Her drink wasn’t flashy, there was only one, she was not self conscious about being in a bar by herself and she hadn't looked over to see who came in, probably not looking to pick anyone up.' She looked down the rest of her 'gorgeous shoes but still, understated. She's classy, must be rich to be comfortable in here. She's sitting at the bar so she knows this place but isn't a regular'.

"Excuse me" she said. The woman looked up. "Do they have bartenders here or is there a secret password you have to use?" She asked. 

The woman smiled and looked around at the unstaffed bar. As if by magic, a bartender appeared and came straight over.

"You've never been here before?" The dark haired woman asked, sipping her drink, something on the rocks. ‘Probably whiskey’ the other thought.

"No." The blonde woman said "it's my birthday today, I thought this place looked nice" she said

"Ah" the other woman replied "are you meeting someone?" She asked and swirled the ice in her glass.

"I think I'm meeting someone right now" the blonde woman replied with a cheeky smile.

"Wow" the other smiled

"I know, what a line, right?" The blonde woman laughed

"Impressive. Certainly impressive enough for me to buy you a drink" she said. She turned to the bartender who stood by politely pretending not to hear the conversation.

"What will it be, ma'am?" The bartender asked.

"Dirty martini" she smiled

"Very good" the bartender replied and left

"Are you meeting anyone?" The blonde woman asked

"I think I'm meeting someone right now" she said and they laughed.

'Clever' the blonde woman though 'humorous, flattering and didn't answer my question. Maybe she is a politician.'

The drink arrived with two smaller, dark drinks in ornate shot glasses. They were on fire.

"This is called the birthday cake" the bartender said setting them down "it is expected that the celebrant make a wish, blow out the flame and drink"

Both women picked theirs up.  
"Thank you for the drink" the blonde woman said raising hers

"Happy birthday" said the other. They clinked glasses, blew out the flame and drank.

 

Some time later the two women still sat together, legs crossed and laughing.

"Do you want another?" The dark haired woman asked

"I think I've had enough, but thank you. You're very generous, Regina"

"It's nothing, and it's your birthday, Emma" she replied

"I think I am going to go home" Emma said, picking up her handbag. Regina nodded but looked disappointed.

"I have enjoyed talking with you, so thank you for brightening my evening" she said

"You could come with me an we can carry on talking" Emma replied. 

She was standing now, one hand on the barstool, leaning slightly. Regina looked at her. Her dress was black, it sparkled and was understated at the same time as showing her off. Regina looked for what she could sense but couldn't see. There was something different about her, something intangible. She was cheeky and confident but not false or pretentious. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she felt something that made her want to stay in Emma’s company as long as possible.

She smiled and lifted her hand.

"Ok" she said. The bartender appeared with a leather wallet. Regina signed the bill, hardly looking.

 

"My apartment isn't far from here" Emma said and thanked the doorman. Regina passed him a note as she stepped through the door and he bowed his head in thanks.

The streetlight and neon signs shone on the reflections of that last downpour. Emma guided them through the streets. They passed through an ornate Victorian alleyway, past a tiny, ancient pub crammed into a corner of the square they entered.

Regina felt she was seeing a whole new side to the city she had lived in for 10 years.  
They walked up a winding road past big name designer shops. Regina knew this street but not at night, glazed with the orange streetlight and deserted.

Emma lead them briefly through Chinatown.

"This is a shortcut" she said to Regina as they passed a bakery "and that is the best bakery in the whole city" she said as they passed Ho's. Regina made a mental note.

As they walked they talked about what felt like everything and nothing at all.

"What do you like about the city?" Emma asked

"It's very convenient. It's not too big but it has everything you could want" Regina replied "yourself?"

"I like its personality" Emma said. 

Regina smiled. Emma seemed to have such a different outlook than her. With anyone else Regina might have found it alienating or at least annoying, but Emma was an open book. She was frank and thoughtful whereas Regina was perceptive and careful.

"I have seen a different city tonight" Regina replied "I had never noticed it had a...personality"

"We're here" Emma stopped at a wide, painted staircase. They had come out of Chinatown and down a wide and well-lit alley off a street crowded with Friday night revellers.

Regina had not expected the building to be...well...anything. It looked disused. Doubts crept quietly into her mind.

At the top of the steps Emma swiped her key fob and opened the door. The glass was dark hiding an empty lobby behind it. There was no desk, no seating area but a low table furnished with magazines Regina had never heard of.

Emma's heels clipped across the floor and she pressed the lift button.

"I don't know who leaves them there. Probably some architect or designer type." She said watching the other woman take in every detail.

The lift arrived and Regina followed Emma inside. Emma pressed 15.

"Penthouse?" Regina asked. Emma laughed "not quite".

They arrived at a nondescript door in a nondescript hallway. Regina wondered if she would get lost here. Everything looked the same.

"Here it is, home sweet home" Emma said opening the door and walking through. 

Regina followed and closed the door. The apartment opened up in front of them. There was no hallway, they stood in the living room. Emma walked in and threw her keys into a bowl on the coffee table surrounded by low sofas. The kitchen was around the corner, separated by a low wall. Emma hung her coat and walked into the kitchen.

She opened a cupboard to take out two wine glasses and watched Regina take the apartment in the same way she did the hall, though her expression had grown more pleasing.

"So are you staying for a drink?" Emma asked. Regina came into the kitchen.

"That would be nice" she said. Emma smiled at her phrasing. So formal and proper even while standing in the apartment of a stranger she just met in a bar.

"Good" Emma said "red or white?" She asked.

"Red, always" Regina replied.

"Really? You don't like white at all?" Emma asked, reaching for a bottle from the rack on the wall. Regina watched her form stretch. Emma turned in time to see Regina watching her and put the bottle down.

"Do you even want a drink?" She asked

"Not really" Regina replied.

Emma walked over to the other woman and kissed her dark red lips. It only lasted a couple of seconds and she broke away.

"Are you still staying?" Emma asked. Regina nodded. Emma smiled

"Well it would be rude of me not to take your coat then" she said, untying the belt of Regina's jacket.

It was silly, and Regina usually hated silly things, but Emma had a way of being silly that just made her adorable, impossible to push away. She let her take her coat off. She hung the coat with hers on a hook on the wall.

"Do you want to see something cool?" Emma asked

"Why not?" Regina replied. 

Emma took her hand and they entered another room. The lights were off and the curtains drawn. Emma let go of her hand to pull the curtains back.

They revealed a whole wall of windows and the view was extraordinary. Modern skyscrapers built a light box backdrop to the city dotted with beautiful domes, glass arcades, old red brick factory buildings that still had the lettering painted on the outside. The river that ran through the city reflected it all back, a shimmering vein. The pulse of the city.

"That's incredible" Regina said making her way to the window. 

She hardly recognised it at all. The city Emma lived in seemed so vibrant and new, juxtaposed and enticing. They stood appreciating the view for a while.

Perhaps it was the drinks, the bar, the midnight walk, the unexpected ease of being with this unknown woman or the vision before her but Regina felt dazzled, romanticising everything they did. It was unlike her, it felt alien and she did not know where it came from. She was charmed.

She looked at the blonde woman who was obviously pleased at her reaction.

"That thing you did in the kitchen" Regina said. Emma's brow wrinkled

"Kissed you?" She asked

"Do it again" Regina said. Emma smiled and leant down to kiss her. She kissed her slowly, tempting her lips open, playful and teasing.

She pressed her against the glass. They pushed and pulled and lost their clothes and Regina pushed Emma away from the widow.

"Someone could see" she said.

"So?" Emma asked.

"Oh look, a bed" Regina said as she pushed Emma back into it.

"Ok" Emma laughed falling back. Regina was on her. Emma ran her hands along Regina's thighs, her thumbs on the inside as she made her way up.

"Ah ah" Regina said picking Emma's hands up and pushing them back over her head.

"What?" Emma asked, her eyes lusting for the woman on top of her

"Me first" Regina said. Emma strained against her but stopped as Regina kissed her. First on the mouth, then up her neck, then her ear. Emma gasped as she felt Regina's teeth graze her ear then her lips and tongue apologising. Goosebumps covered Emma’s body. Regina's free hand wandered, feeling, squeezing, her nails grazing Emma's reactive skin.

Regina felt Emma roll underneath her. She slipped her hand under the band of Emma's underwear.  
Emma let out another gasp. Regina kissed her neck as Emma moaned. She tingled all over in anticipation. Emma rolled herself on Regina's hand, telling her what she wanted. Regina gave in and let Emma's hands go.

Emma rolled Regina onto her back, flung her underwear away and straddled her. She guided Regina's fingers inside her and rocked her hips. She bent over Regina to kiss, lick, bite whatever of Regina’s skin she could reach. To both of their enjoyment she found nipples to kiss and suck. 

Regina moaned and drove harder into Emma. Emma leant back her arms above her head, unable to do anything but take in that moment. Regina used this angle to rub Emma with her thumb. Emma worked faster and faster until she shook and cried out.

She fell to one side and lay next to Regina, breathing heavily.

"My god" she said "I need a minute" she said with her eyes closed

"Ok" Regina said "but that's all you're getting.” Emma reached up and pulled the other woman closer. 

She kissed her deeply and the agonising burn between them grew. Before long Emma was on top of Regina again.

 

The sky began to lighten over the cityscape. Emma was slowly, unbearably slowly working her way in and out if Regina who lay helpless to her efforts. Emma distantly noticed the light in the room changing.

"Come here" Emma said. She stood and pulled Regina to her feet. She sighed as she saw the lightening sky, she had been there for hours.

Emma stood with her back on the window. She pulled Regina closer and they kissed. Emma kissed her neck and heard a low, deep rumble of pleasure. She kissed her chest, her stomach and finally, what she really wanted. 

Regina leant into the window and moaned as she felt Emma's tongue inside her. She watched the clouds illuminated in searing orange, she watched the light explode onto glass buildings and deep red manoeuvre in the sky. She tried to concentrate on the beautiful vista, to hold on as long as she could as Emma kissed and licked and sucked.

Finally Regina’s outstretched hands turned to fists, her eyes shut tightly, her head went back and her back arched.

The brim of the sun burst over the top of the horizon and light screamed into the room. Regina came to a shuddering climax and gold light crackled all over her skin.

She fell, slowly and gently and Emma curled around her as she recovered her overwhelmed senses. 

Emma stroked her skin as she watched city birds whirl and revel in the new day. She kissed her head and watched the night shadows of the buildings creep away.

After a while Regina stirred. 

"Can I close the curtains?" she asked.

"Why?" Emma asked.

'Because it will never be this beautiful again and I don't want to watch it fade into sadness' she thought.

"Ok" Emma said, taking Regina's answer from her silence.

In the dark room they wrapped once again around each other. They fell asleep, bodies exhausted, hearts full and fingers intertwined.


	2. Chapter 2

When they finally woke it was dark again outside. Regina was completely wrapped up in Emma. She couldn't move without disturbing her. For a while she let herself enjoy the feeling of being warmed by the body of another.

"Are you awake?" She whispered after a couple of minutes. Emma hummed. Regina turned to face her. Emma lifted her arms to give her space, then settled again on Regina's curves.

"I have to go soon" Regina said. Emma opened her eyes.

"Oh" she said, releasing her. Regina got up slowly and stretched her arms up with her back to Emma. She slid off the bed and headed for the bathroom. She checked her face expecting there to be make up everywhere. 

'Wow' she thought to herself smiling 'I look fine. That expensive stuff is worth it'

"There's a pack of toothbrushes under the sink" Emma called from the bed.

When Regina came back into the room she looked refreshed and happy. Emma stirred again having fallen asleep while Regina was away. Her golden hair tumbled over the shoulder of the arm she propped herself up on

"Good morning" She smiled at her

"Good...evening" Regina glanced at a big clock propped up against the wall. Emma laughed.

"Do you want to borrow something to wear?" Emma asked. Regina zipped up her dress.

"Do I look like I was out all night?" She asked

"No" Emma replied "you look amazing". Regina's eyes sparkled

"Then no.” She said “And thank you" she added

Emma watched her find her shoes and adjust herself in the mirror.

"What's the address here?" Regina asked

"221b Baker Street" Emma replied. Regina typed it into her phone and then looked up.

"That sounds familiar" she said. Emma laughed

"I'm sorry, it's not, that's where Sherlock Holmes lives" Emma said

"Who is that?" Regina asked

"Seriously?" Emma asked. "You seem so sophisticated, but you don't read?"

"I do read" Regina said defensively, though she couldn't remember the last thing she did.

Emma got out of bed, walked into her living room, past the low coffee table and to a huge bookshelf full almost to the point of collapsing.

"Where is it..." She said to herself. Regina watched her, standing there completely naked, completely comfortable. She found what she was looking for and gave the book to Regina.

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes" she read aloud. "Is it some kind of fairy tale?" She asked

"No" Emma said "I don't really get fairy tales" Regina was amused.

"He's a slight sociopath, genius, probably has low latent inhibition and solves crimes. And the way they speak is just" Emma shook her head. Regina laughed.

"Ok" she replied. “Where is he returning from?” 

“There’s a series, this is number three or four, but I like this one the best” Emma said. Regina nodded.

"Now your address?" Emma took the phone Regina was still holding.

Regina felt an intrusion but could see she only typed an address and nothing else. Emma passed the phone back without pressing send. 

"Who is Bourneville? Your husband?" Emma asked

"No!" Regina replied

"Just asking" Emma held her hands up as she walked back into the bedroom. "I'd feel pretty bad about that actually" she shouted

"Why?" Regina called back. 

She put the book in her bag and found her coat. Emma appeared through the door briefly with a toothbush in her mouth.

"Becush, itsh meshing wiv a wewationship" she said and disappeared

"It's my fake relationship though, not yours" Regina said, checking her phone. "It's not your responsibility"

Emma appeared again wearing a shirt that was tucked loosely into her jeans. She tied her hair up as she spoke.

"Well what if you fell in love with me and I had ruined your fake marriage?" She asked, passing behind Regina on her way to the kitchen. "Coffee?" She asked

"No thank you." She said "if I fell in love with you and left my fake husband it still wouldn't be your fault" Regina said. Her phone buzzed.

"I have to go" Regina said. Emma put her coffee down and walked her to the door.

"It's left down the hall, turn right for the lift" Emma said.

"Thank you" Regina replied. They stood in the door for a moment. Emma kissed Regina and she felt that slow burn again.

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday" Regina said as she turned to leave. Emma grinned at her from the doorway and watched her as she walked away.

 

 

Regina stood on the private balcony of the bar. It overlooked the central bar. Old dark wood, fancy cocktails made with what looked like ancient chemistry equipment. The bar was busy and the balcony was too. People carried trays of unlimited champagne for distribution among the guests of the private party.

 

"Regina" she turned from the group she stood in to see Maxwell Harper, the most powerful man in the city, the man who held all of their careers and futures in his hands, at her side.

"Harper" she smiled and took his hand to shake "this is quite the party, everyone is flattered you would make such a gesture" he smiled and waved a big hand.

"It's the least I could do. You're doing important work, Regina and your people deserve thanks." Then he added more quietly "and no one makes me more money than you do" she laughed.

"Allow me to introduce Miss Swan" he said. Emma turned to see who see was being introduced to and smiled. Regina's shock was obvious.

"Have you two met?" Harper asked

"Only socially" Emma said and offered her hand, practically beaming at Regina's reaction.

"How nice to see you again" Regina said rigidly as she shook it.

"Harper!" Harper turned around and returned the greeting, leaving Emma and Regina alone. Emma's eyes glittered with amusement.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asked quietly, surveying the other guests, subtly checking for anyone who might be watching them.

"I'm working" Emma replied brightly. Regina raised an eyebrow and glanced up and down at Emma. She wore a red dress and tall black heels. She didn't even have a bag.

"I'm not a call girl" she said. Regina looked at her in alarm

"I never said-" Regina said

"No but you were thinking it" Emma challenged, "don't worry, I'm flattered you think I could be" 

Regina looked at the floor, not wanting any shadow of her personal life or feelings to be reflected into her work. 'Emma...what did Harper say her surname was? Swan?' She thought

"I'm sorry if my being here makes you uncomfortable" Emma said

"It does" Regina agreed, looking at the crowd again.

Emma watched her face. She seemed so different. Harder, guarded. It made her sad. Something in the way Regina turned her head gave Emma a vision of her in her bed, her moans filled her ears and she turned her head quickly to shake off the memory.

"Ok" Emma said. She touched Regina's arm and gave her the signature corporate party cheek-graze air-kiss.

"It was nice to see you again" she said, the fun had left her voice. She melted into the crowd.

Regina felt bad and vulnerable. Emma Swan was a splinter she couldn't ignore. This party was for her and her employees. She had just secured a contract worth 36 million and this was her thank you from Harper. Public recognition, corporate thanks, a networking gold mine and all she could think about was Emma damn Swan.

Her team made the most of the party. She was pleased with the good connections they made, a few of them made an impression with Harper. She had put faces to names with a number of her highflying peers and had many more invitations to social engagements than she could comfortably attend. 

Overall it was a huge success, but she was deflated. She stood talking with John Guo, a genius in service design and everybody's new favourite. She made small talk with him and he seemed so enthused by everything. She nodded along and when the bartender came she ordered Glengarioch.

"Oh no, this is a champagne party, get champagne!" He said draining his glass "another" he said.

Regina ignored his impertinence and accepted her drink from the bartender.

"It's on me" he said

"All the drinks tonight are paid for, sir" the bartender replied.

"Oh" he said "then I'll have another" he said and laughed. Regina smiled politely.

"I'm going to have to cut this short, Regina, darling" he said

She smiled at him, imagining choking him with his skinny tie for calling her "darling". He was wittering on about something, she wasn't listening.

"I'll have mine call yours" he said, doing the same cheek-graze air-kiss that Emma did, though his stubble scratched her cheek.

"Are you allowed to accept tips here?" Regina asked the bartender as he tottered away.

"No ma'am" they replied. Regina held out her hand to shake. The bartender took it tentatively.  
"Thank you for not leaving me alone with that buffoon" she said, withdrawing her hand and leaving a note in the other's. The bartender smiled.

"Of course ma'am" they said.

 

"Dirty martini" Regina looked up from the end of her drink and saw Emma at the bar. 

"Do you even like champagne?" Emma asked the bartender "I hate it"

Her face looked momentarily tired, then she perked up to thank the bartender.

"Tips?" She asked

"No ma'am, but thank you"

"That's what I thought" Emma replied. "Max says to put a drink on the tab for all the bar staff tonight, whatever you want. I’d go for a bottle of Goose if I were you" she smiled and left the bar, never acknowledging Regina was there.

'Max?' Regina thought. 'I don't know anyone who calls him that. Are they together? She's still with him and she's working? Who is she?' Regina finished her drink.

"Would you like a taxi ma'am?" The bartender asked

"No thank you. I hope you do add something to the tab. This is my party, at least someone should enjoy it" she said as she left the bar.

Emma watched her from Harper’s side and wanted to follow, but Regina's coldness stopped her.

 

 

Regina read and enjoyed Sherlock Holmes. It was a first edition, so she knew Emma had to trust her with t in the first place, and she would definitely want it back.

She met with Maxwell Harper again for a monthly catch up lunch.

"So how do you know Emma?" He asked after a good discussion about keeping the workforce enthused.

"I met her in a bar" Regina replied honestly "I don't really know her very well" she added, which was less honest than it sounded.

"Ah" Harper said "well keep her in your life, she's a very good person to know. Reliable, dedicated, honest and loyal like, pfft" be waved his hand "nobody I've ever met" he said.

Regina thought she had demonstrated loyalty to Harper, she wondered what he meant.

"She seems too good to be true" Regina said, taking a drink of her spritzer.

"I know!" Harper's laugh boomed around the restaurant “Now how are we going to nail down this deal with the Gray Foundation?” He asked and they went back to work.

 

Later the same day Regina's executive team were out at a high-end restaurant in Chinatown, essentially to schmooze the team they were dealing with. Harper made an appearance with Emma again and was talking to the Ida Gray herself, when one of her people began loudly chastising a waitress.

"What the hell kind of restaurant is this? You don't serve shark fin soup?" He attacked. 

The waitress quietly explained "No sir, we don't believe it is ethical to s-"

"I don't care!" He cut her off. Everyone at the table had stopped speaking and other patrons were looking at them.

"Where have you brought us?" He jabbed across the table at Regina.

Emma cut across before Regina had a chance to reply. 

"You know shark fins don't taste of anything" she looked down at the red faced man. "It's basically just really expensive chicken broth"

Emma's expression was of polite interest. The waitress dithered by the rude man and his face went from red to purple.

"Ha ha!" Ida Gray laughed "that'll teach you not to draw so much attention to yourself, Slack"  
Harper said his goodbyes and left the table with Emma. 

'Another stunning dress' Regina thought, watching her walk away. Slack ordered quietly and the waitress finished taking orders. 

Regina's people did well at softening up their counterparts and Regina hit it off with Ida. Her hair was silver and tied up loosely. She had sharp features that softened when she smiled, which was often.

"Well I have to say, Regina” she said at the end of the meal “I'm looking forward to getting around the table with you as soon as possible." She said

"That's good to hear" Regina smiled back, genuinely pleased.

"Now, who is that blonde woman who put Slack back in his place? Is she one of yours?"

"She's a friend of Harper's" Regina replied, wishing Emma would get out of her life. She watched Ida eye her up as she stood at the bar, laughing with a group of men in suits. She felt venomous. She hated the anonymous men at the bar and Emma for being there. She couldn't put her finger on why. She wished Emma would leave her alone. 

She said goodbye to Ida and her own team leader and wished them all a good weekend. She slid a couple of notes into the bill wallet and passed it back to the waitress.

"Service charge is included, mam" the woman replied.

"I know" Regina smiled at her as she left.

 

"Hey" said a voice behind her in the cold street. Regina turned to see Emma without her coat standing in the cold.

"I'm sorry, Max didn't say you'd be here" Emma said

"Would it have made a difference?" Regina asked. Emma watched her for a moment

"Look, message received loud and clear, you don't want to see me again. I'm not stalking you, I'm working. I didn't know you'd be here" she said, turning to go back inside

"What do you do?" Regina asked

"It's none of your business" Emma turned and let her frustrations go on Regina "I don't know you. You're a completely different person to the one I met a few weeks ago."

Regina scoffed

"See?" Emma said and turned to go back inside.

"You won't tell Harper will you?" Regina called. Emma's arms were crossed in an attempt to retain some heat. She turned back again.

"Tell him what? That you spent a whole night fucking one if his friends and now you want them to disappear?"

Regina's car pulled up. She noticed the goosebumps up and down Emma's arms and remembered the feel of her skin as she dragged we nails down them.

"I'm sorry" Regina said eventually "that must feel horrible"

A group from the restaurant left trough the door behind Emma. They walked around her as she stood still, watching Regina.

"Can we talk?" Regina asked

"We are talking" Emma said sharply. 

"Inside" Regina said "somewhere private?" Emma looked like she was going to say no "you must be freezing" Regina added

"It's not the cold I'm worried about" Emma said. Regina didn't know what she meant.

"Fine" she said

"Do you want to get your coat?" Regina asked

"I didn't bring one" Emma replied "I only live over there" Emma pointed down the street in the direction of home "remember?" she added sarcastically.

Regina opened the car door and climbed in. Emma followed. The car was a lot warmer and she rubbed the goosebumps from her skin. They were quiet for a moment. Emma stubbornly avoided looking at Regina while Regina looked for the words she wanted.

"I wasn't looking to take anyone home that night" Regina said

"I know" Emma replied

"I didn't mean to stay" Regina said.

"I know" Emma replied

"I never thought I'd see you again" she said

"I know" Emma replied

"How do you know? Regina asked, annoyed.

"Because you were free" Emma said "Do you think it's hard to tell when someone doesn't want you around?" Emma asked. "I was pleased to see you the other night, not because I thought we could go for round two but because I like you. I liked the woman I met in the bar, anyway. The woman who told me she'd never seen the city like this before, I felt something but it's gone now so you don't have to worry about me popping up and ruining your life"

Regina could see how much her defensive reaction to Emma had hurt her. The cheek was gone from her. The excitement and cute silliness had left her.

"I'm sorry for hurting you" Regina said. The car pulled up to a townhouse with tiles steps. "Will you come in? I have your book still" she said.

"Ok" Emma said

 

The hallway was surprisingly bright, a staircase with a wide wooden bannister swept up to the first floor. Emma followed Regina into the kitchen.

"You're up late" she heard her say in a voice far softer and warmer than her usual tone.

"It's Friday!" A child's voice replied. Emma saw Regina ruffle the hair of a young boy sitting at the island in the kitchen.

"Hello" he said, turning his attention to Emma

"Hi" she replied

"Emma, this is Henry, my son" Regina said turning to her

"Nice to meet you" Henry said, holding his hand out. Emma shook it, amused at his formality but also the cheeky grin he wore.

"Nice to meet you too, kid" Emma replied

"Henry, it's bedtime" Regina said. Normally he would protest but he hopped off his chair and left the room.

"I didn't know you had a son!" Emma said

"There's a lot you don't know about me" Regina replied "so I hope you can understand a bit better why I reacted the way I did, even if you can't forgive it." She looked at Emma, regretting the way she had been.

"I do forgive it" Emma said quickly. Regina smiled at her.

"Ok then. Here is your book" It had been on the kitchen counter, she passed it back to Emma.

Henry appeared in the kitchen again in pyjamas and a dressing gown.

"Have you brushed your teeth?" She asked. He nodded and bared all his teeth for her to see. She kissed the top of his head.

"Night mom" he said. He turned to Emma "goodnight Emma" he smiled and left the room again.

"He's cute" Emma watched him leave the room. Regina felt comfortable again.

"Do you want a drink?" Regina asked. Emma's lip curled

"I'm not sure" she replied

"What are you unsure about?" Regina asked her from across the counter.

"Well" Emma said "are we only friends when we're alone? Are you going to ignore me every time you see me around?"

Regina thought.

"I wont ignore you" Regina said "you just scared me. I'd never seen you before and suddenly you were everywhere reminding me of..." Regina trailed off

"Reminding you of what?" Emma asked

"I don't know" Regina said

"The view from my apartment?" Emma asked. Regina laughed.

"Sure" she said. "I've got a lot to lose. Henry is my life." She said. Emma nodded.

"He really is cute" she said "how old is he?"

"Eleven going on fifty-five" Regina replied

"Ah yes, he gives a good handshake for an eleven year old" Emma said. Regina smiled to herself and nodded agreement.

"His dad?" Emma asked

"Exists, probably" Regina said "he's adopted, from when he was just a baby"

"Wow" Emma said "he really fell on his feet" she said. Regina didn't really know what she meant so she didn't reply.

"So would you like a drink?" She asked "only Bourneville will take you home, I just like to let him know when he's needed" Emma thought.

"I probably should go" she said. Regina waited. She did want Emma to stay but she didn't want to ask her too, especially with Henry being home. She would have felt safe with her in the house, but he might be confused.

"I think I'll go" Emma said.

"Ok" Regina said "he has your address already"

"Can I sit in the front and talk to him? Is that allowed?" Emma asked making her way to the door. Regina followed.

"You'll have to ask him" Regina said.

Emma turned at the door. She held her book and nothing else.

"I'm glad we talked" Emma said.

"Me too" Regina smiled

"And I'm really glad I got to meet Henry" she said, relieved in her heart that Regina had had a genuine reason to be wary of her, though she knew she posed no threat to them.

"Well I'm sure you'll meet him again" Regina replied

"Are you?" Emma asked

"Well, I-" Regina hesitated

"I'm just playing with you" Emma said "I hope I get to"

She kissed Regina softly on the cheek and opened the door. Regina watched her walk down the steps and tap on the driver's window. She stood bent at the car door for a moment, and Regina used the opportunity to remember Emma's legs. Then she turned and Regina dragged her eyes back up to Emma's face.

Emma pretended not to notice and gave Regina a smile as she got into the front passenger seat.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, I'm coming to say thank you for taking me to that party by bringing you another awesome party" Emma said into her phone as she walked along the side of a tall glass building.

"Oh yeah?" Maxwell Harper replied

"Yeah, I've got a box of bao from Ho's and a six pack of Chinese beer- thanks Frank" she said as she entered the building and the doorman held the door for her.

"And what are you having?" He asked

"Whatever's in your fridge I guess" Emma replied and he laughed

"Hey Berenice" she said to the lady in the lift "penthouse please" she knew that she would know where she was going but she always thought it was polite to ask anyway.

"I'll be there in a minute so you have time to tidy up" Emma said and hung up.

"How is your day going?" Emma asked the woman operating the lift.

"Very well thank you ma’am" she replied

"Good, good" Emma said "how's it really going?" Berenice laughed

"I've had better" she said

"Yeah? Maxwell treating you ok? Cause if not I'll tell him" she said

"Mr Harper is always very nice" Berenice smiled. The doors opened.

"Ok, let me know of that changes" Emma said

"Yes ma'am" Berenice replied.

 

"So are you going to tell me what's up with you and Regina Mills?" Harper asked once they had opened the bao and the beer.

"No" Emma said. She changed the channel from financial news to movies.

"Come on!" He said

"She works for you, I'm not going there" Emma protested

"She doesn't work for me" Harper said. Emma raised an eyebrow at him "she works with me and it's my job to make sure my people are taken care of" he said

"Uh huh" Emma replied with a mouth full of steamed bun

"And you always tell me how you're doing" he added, insinuating more than he said.

"Don't worry about how I'm doing" Emma said

"So you are sleeping together" he said

"No we're not!" Emma said "we're just about friends"

"Fine" he said "but if it hasn't happened already-which for the record I think it has-it's going to happen soon. I can see it in your eyes. You have always done this." He said

"Done what?" Emma asked preparing to be offended

"Found someone you like and then pretend they're just anyone" he said

"I do no-" she began

"Yes you do, that's what you've always done. Luckily for you most of them come running for you. Regina might be different though." He said "she has a kid to think about"

"Yeah I met him" Emma said. Harper choked on his beer.

"You what?!" He asked. Emma stared back at him.

"I've known her for years and never even been to her house. You've met her son?! What's he like?" He asked

"Adorable" Emma replied, remembering his confident little handshake.

"Fuck" Harper said. Emma drank her beer and smiled

"You are so fucked" he said

"Why?" Emma asked, shifting her position to face him rather than the screen.

"Emma, come on" he said. Emma stared back at him

"You like her, fine, I get it, she's beautiful and she works hard and she well off"

"Oh fuck off, Max" Emma said

"Alright, why do you like her?" He asked. She put her beer down.

"It's how she makes me feel" she said seriously. "I feel like she knows me already" Emma searched back through her interactions with Regina to pin point what it was.

"I feel calm with her" she said. Harper watched her as she spoke.

"Em" he took her hand "don't let her get away then"

"But she's..." Emma struggled for the word

"She seems far away?" He asked. Emma looked into his eyes and nodded.

"It's scary" Emma said "I feel connected to her. Even here and now, but she really stung me at that party"

"What?!" He sat up

"Oh shit, no, this is why I didn't want to talk to you about it" Emma said "you can't let on that you know anything and don't treat her differently! If you do I'll kick your ass"

"You couldn't" he laughed

"You wanna bet?" She asked him. He stopped laughing.

"Not really, no. She'll never know" he said. Emma sighed.

"My point is that you make them come to you, it's like you test them and when they let you down you blame yourself for not making the test hard enough.” She didn’t argue. “Just don't make it too hard on Regina when she realises how great you are" he nudged her in the arm and she smiled.

"I like her kid" Emma said

"Yeah I bet you do" he said, his voice full of sympathy.

 

 

Regina stood in her corner office looking out if the window, only half listening to one of her team leaders.

"James, have you heard of Sherlock Holmes?" She asked. There was a pause.

"Yes I have" he said

"We need to be more like him with Aaron & Partners. We need to notice their patterns, their interests, we need to be smart about what they are looking for, put ourselves in their position, pay attention to the details"

"Ok" James replied, unsure what she was getting at.

"Have you read the books?" She asked

"I saw the movie-" he started

"Read the books" Regina said. "You'll understand."

James stood behind her with his hands in his pockets. She liked him because he worked hard and his team were very loyal to him. 'That says a lot about someone' she thought.

"Any word from Ida Gray's people?" Regina asked

"Slack is off the list, we have a meeting pencilled in for the 15th but it'll be a late one because of the time zone difference"

 

 

Regina saw Emma a few times over the next couple of weeks. She oversaw a number of important projects, all requiring some sort of client entertainment.

Harper often brought Emma, and sometimes it seemed to be pure coincidence that Emma was there.

Regina managed to escape John Guo and was making a clean getaway when she saw Emma bypass the cloakroom queue and attendant and disappear through the door the coats. Intrigued, Regina followed.

"You must be pretty desperate to leave if you'd rather get your own coat" Regina said to the room full of racks.

Emma appeared at the end of one of the full racks of coats.

"Hi" she smiled, then ducked back into the row.

Regina followed her. She was looking for a number ticket and pushing swathes of thick black coats aside.

"295" Emma said under her breath.

"This one?" Regina asked pointing to the coat directly behind her.

Emma stood up straight.

"Yes" she smiled.

"So you do own a coat then" Regina said, not moving out of the way "it's not just another mysterious thing about you, that you don't feel the cold"

"Unless the coat is for show so no one suspects anything" Emma replied, now standing face to face with Regina.

"Mmm" Regina hummed "it's also a man's coat and far too big for you" she said

"I didn't say it was mine I was looking for" Emma said. Regina's eyes narrowed at her. Of course she was never foolish enough to leave anything valuable, monetary or otherwise, in her coat but se felt Emma was betraying a certain trust that existed in places like this.

Emma stepped close to Regina. Her nose brushed the side of hers. Regina looked up into her deep blue eyes and felt something she couldn’t identify. Something good and terrible at the same time.

"Regina" she said softly "are you going to let me get what I want?"

 

Regina appeared from the cloakroom door.

"Regina!" Harper said from the queue

"Harper, I didn't know you were here, how are you?" Regina asked

"I'm very well. Are you ok? You look flushed" he replied

"I thought I'd lost something, but everything is fine. If you'll excuse me I have to get home to Henry" she said

"Of course" he replied "I'll be dialling into the Kweza teleconference tomorrow"

"Great, I'll speak to you then" she said and left, oddly without a coat.

A moment later Emma appeared from the same door.

"Oh no" Harper said. Emma looked up, surprised to see him. She threw him his coat.

"Emma you didn't?" He asked

"Didn't what?" She asked sharply

He shook his head. "Nothing"

They left together. Her arm was in his as they waited for their car. Regina sat in hers though it sat still in traffic. She was trying to straighten things out in her mind when she chanced to look back at the grand entrance to the hotel.

Harper was tall enough that even in heels Emma could, and did, rest her head on his shoulder. Regina felt like her stomach dropped out of her. The way she held his arm was loving. The expression on his face was too. She must have been getting his coat as well as hers. Regina couldn't tear her eyes away from then.

Had she slept with her boss's...partner? Lover? Wife? She racked her brain for every conversation she had ever had with Harper about his personal life.

The traffic cleared and the car rolled on, but not before Regina watched Harper open his car door for Emma and follow her in.

 

"You're up late" she said

"It's Friday" Henry replied, entering the kitchen from the door to the living room.

"It's Wednesday" Regina replied "where's Felicity?"

"In there" he replied "where's Emma?"

"What did you say?" She asked

"I thought Emma might come round again" he said

Regina's heart throbbed. Henry sensed he had said something a wrong and leapt off the sofa to give her a hug, which she gratefully received. She felt like he squeezed all of the pain out of her, just for a moment. She picked him up and he laughed.

"Gosh you're getting big" she said and he laughed again.

"Darn that passage of time!" He announced loudly to the kitchen.

She put him down and kissed him on the head.

"Bedtime, now" she said. He smiled and left the room as Felicity entered.

"Up late playing video games?" Regina asked the babysitter

"He hates going to bed before you're home" she replied

"That's what you're here for" Regina said

"I could make him lie in bed and worry until you're back, or keep him company" she replied

Regina liked Felicity because she was good at her job. She wouldn't be pushed around when it came to what she thought was best for Henry and Regina respected her for it.

"He had 10 minutes left before I would have sent him to bed" Felicity said. Regina looked at her watch.

"I suppose it's not that late" she said. Felicity smiled.

"I'll get my stuff" she said

"Thank you for tonight" Regina said as she left.

 

 

"That went better than expected" Harper stayed on the line after the teleconference.

"Hmm" Regina replied

"You don't sound happy" Harper said

"I really wanted to get their NTC figures down. That would have us in good shape for our summer proposals and probably make it easier to reduce others if a huge organisation like Kweza had blazed the trail already."

Harper chuckled

"This is why you're my number one" he said "always ten steps ahead"

"It sounds like they're going to be very flexible in other areas though. We have a lot to work with." Regina said, barely registering what he said. 

"And a lot of work to do" Harper replied "I'll get on with my actions. Is there anything else you want me to do?"

Regina thought.

"If you could be available over email tomorrow morning that would be very helpful. I'm sure there'll be a lot of tweaks to be made to the proposal" 

"You're going to have it ready that soon?" He was astonished

"The first draft, yes" Regina said "they are already working on it"

"Wow, Regina. You start thinking about what form you want your next big thank you to take, if you have any time that is" he said

"There's always time for that, Harper" she smiled and he laughed

"Ok. Talk to you tomorrow" he said and hung up.

Regina pressed that 'hang up' button. She went to her window wall again. The view was good. The city. The towers. The distant traffic. She heard her door open.

"James do you have he numbers back from The Gray Foundation?" She asked

"I'm not sure, do you want me to ask him?" A woman's voice replied.

Regina's turned in surprise.

"Hi" Emma said. She looked so different to how Regina has seen her before, she almost didn't recognise her. Her hair was tied back, she wore a sharp suit and thick rimmed glasses. Regina had not closed her mouth from the initial surprise if seeing her.

"Do you want me to do a twirl?" Emma asked, watching Regina take her in.

"N-no" Regina stammered. "What are you doing here? I mean. How can I help you?"

"Wow" Emma said "I didn't mean to freak you out, I just came to give you this" Emma pulled a silver lighter from the breast pocket of her jacket. She was dressed so masculine but her face was so pretty, her hair still curled at the ends, half way down her back.

“Sorry, my head was really in work” Regina said.

She picked up the lighter. "How do you have this?" She asked, passing her thumb over the ornate "B" carved into it.

"Bourneville was showing it to me. I guess I left with it by accident. I didn't realise until I found it last night. I feel bad I've had it this while time." Emma said

Regina wondered what else Emma and Bourneville had discussed if the lighter she gave him had somehow come up.

"Nice view" Emma said in the conversation lapse. Regina seemed far away but that brought her back.  
"Nice?" Regina asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. I mean I've seen better" she said "almost every morning actually"

"Almost?" Regina asked

"Yeah well" Emma shrugged "a girls gotta live"

She turned to leave the office. 'What am I doing?' She thought 'reminding her I have sex with people that are not her, like I take people home all the time, like she's not important? What the hell is wrong with me? A girls gotta live? Ugh'

"Before you go" Regina said. Emma stopped and turned back.

"Henry's birthday is coming up. He asked me to invite you." Regina said

"He asked you?" Emma asked, not entirely believing Regina.

"Yes. I can tell him no, I just couldn't not ask. He can always tell when someone is lying" Regina said

"No. I mean no don't tell him that. Yes I would like to come." Emma said, awkwardly.

"Ok then" Regina said

"What kind of party is he having?" Emma asked "what should I get him?"

"He hasn't decided yet, though it looks like laser tag. And you don't have to get him anything" Regina said

"Ok" Emma replied, genuinely excited about an twelve year old's birthday party. "I'll think of something"

"I need a way to contact you" Regina said "for the party details"

Emma reached into her inside jacket pocket again and pulled out a card. Regina took it. All it said was her name and a number, Regina still had no idea what she did.

"Cool" Emma smiled brightly at Regina, who returned it warmly. She strode out if the office and passed James on the way in.

"Hey" he said, passing her. She smiled at him and he stood in the doorway watching her walk away.

Regina cleared her throat. He turned

"Who was that?" He asked

"A close friend of Maxwell Harper" she said. The smile on his face turned into disappointment.

"Numbers?" She asked and he passed her his files.

 

"We're playing?" Emma asked Henry

"Yeah!" He replied "you get your pack over there"

A woman who worked at the centre explained the rules.

"You shoot the sensors, you score points, if you get shot you're out for 30 seconds, most points wins. Each round is ten minutes. You’ve got three rounds"

"Sounds easy enough" Emma said

"It's in the dark" Regina replied, clipping her vest on

"Someone's done this before" Emma said, struggling with her clip.

"Let me get it" Regina said, buckling Emma in. "I have an eleven year old son, of course I have done this before" she continued 

"I'm twelve now" Henry corrected

"Not for another 11 hours you're not" Regina replied. They were hustled into the bug-out room and divided. The lights went out and there was a countdown. The group of kids were excited, throwing threats at each other they have heard in movies.

"You yellow belly, lilly liver-"

"I'll make you wish you were never born!"

"You son of a-"

"Hey" Regina cut the kid off

"Sorry Ms Mills"

"That's ok Charlie"

The countdown was done, the kids ran screaming into the room. It was pretty dark, there were smoke machines, stairs to a balcony level, it was like a maze. Emma's bright hair stood out pretty well in the dark, someone got her straight away.

"What? Come on!" The kid who got her laughed. She made what could only be described as a monster noise and chased her away. The child screamed with laughter.

Emma tried keeping to the shadows but found she was better off running at and scaring the kids and then shooting them as they ran. After one of these charges someone got her. She turned with her laser gun drawn

"Alright, who's there?" She investigated

"That's useless for another 25 seconds" Regina said. Emma saw the green light of her sensor flash in the shadow. She walked up to her.

"What are we going to do for all that time?" Emma asked

"20 seconds?" Regina asked

"More like 15 now I think" Emma whispered getting closer and closer to Regina

"What can you do with...10 seconds" Regina asked

"I'd like to show you" Emma pressed herself against Regina. She could feel her breath on her lips. The red dot on Emma's gun turned green. She shot Regina, turned and ran.

Regina laughed wickedly.

"Oh Miss Swan, you are going down" she threatened the darkness.

 

After laser tag they all got pizza. Henry had birthday cake in the restaurant and everyone sang to him. He had too much cake and too much fun. By the time they got home it was still early in the evening but Henry was exhausted. He went straight to bed and left Emma and Regina in the kitchen.

"That was the best twelve year olds birthday I have ever been to" Emma said, leaning sideways on the counter.

"Drink?" Regina asked

"Coffee?" Emma replied. Regina laughed "sure"

"I'm really glad you came" Regina said. "You're a good sport" she added, possibly referring to the biggest loser score Emma earned for being the most shot player for the entire game, but more likely for the crackling sexual tension she created between them, somehow sustaining it even while eating pizza and playing with twelve year olds.

Regina was desperate to kiss Emma again. Her eyes lingered on her lips, her neck, her body whenever she wasn't looking. She ached to touch her but she was off limits. 

Emma slid over to Regina's side while she made coffee. Emma took out some cups. She reached behind Regina, putting her hand on her lower back as she did, to let her know she was there. Regina practically jumped.

Emma went back to her place beside Regina. She could feel her eyes on her. She held out as long as he could before she looked up. Somewhere in the back of her mind she though Harper was right, that this was the test, as long as her will could hold out long enough.

They watched each other for what seemed like forever. Then Regina turned back to the coffee. Emma watched the side of her face. She watched her bite her lip and frown.

“When you asked me if I was married…” Regina began, concentrating hard on the coffee.

“Yeah” Emma said. She turned around and leant back on the counter.

“I never asked you” Regina said.

“Um. I’m not married” Emma said. Regina smiled.

“Well I guessed that much.” Regina said

“I’m not with anyone” Emma said, like it was a personal flaw. “Are you?” she asked, thinking maybe that was why she wouldn’t kiss her even though she clearly wanted to. Emma watched her movements, she was screaming out to be touched and kissed and held. She had someone already.

“No” She said pouring coffee into the two cups. Emma’s head spun round to look at her.

“Not at all?” Emma asked. Could she be misreading everything? Could it be Regina did just want a friend, and not one that wanted to make her scream at night?

Regina felt like there was an unspoken conversation happening. She was so sure Emma was with Harper, they seemed so close. Would she lie? Why would she? She didn’t seem to lie about anything else. She decided the only way to get the answer she really wanted was to throw tact out of the window.

“Aren’t you with Harper?” Regina asked

“Ew, no” Emma said in disgust “He’s my brother”

Regina’s jaw just about hit the floor.

“I don’t mean to be rude but, how is that possible? You’re…well, white” Regina asked. Emma laughed

“He’s my foster brother” Emma clarified “Since, I don’t know, forever”

Regina felt so many uncomfortable observations subside into normality. The way she linked his arm, the way he talked about her with pride, she called him Max. Regina felt a weight lift from her chest. She looked at Emma, no longer off limits, forbidden, a painful mistake. 

 

Emma was leaning on the counter, her arms crossed and her head down. In a second Regina was in front of her, she lifted her chin and kissed her. Emma reacted instantly. Her arms found their way around Regina’s waist, she stood and kissed her back.

This kiss they had both been thinking about for weeks was happening. It was a blur of wanting and needing, of pushing and pulling, of tongues and moans and falling into things.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina didn’t realise how much she had held in, held back, kept secret even from herself until she let it go. She kissed Emma like she was life itself, like she would die if they ever stopped. She pulled at her clothes though Emma pressed against her already, it wasn’t close enough.

Emma lost touch with everything around her. The only thing that mattered was this feeling running through her. Her heart beat rapidly, she forgot everything, only feeling this rush, this need to be close and stay close to the woman in her arms. She let herself be swept away.

Regina broke away first.

“Wait” she said, breathing heavily. 

“Why?” Emma breathed, reached for her lips again. Regina kissed her back and for a moment forgot what she was saying. She pushed Emma back and broke them apart again.

“Wait” Regina said again. This time Emma opened her eyes to look at her, scared of what might be coming.

“Henry is upstairs” Regina said

“He’s probably passed out by now” Emma said, amused by the thought of him fully clothed and face down in his bedding.

“We can’t do this here” Regina said. She looked down at her left hand, her fingers were interlaced with Emma’s. She could feel Emma’s heartbeat. Her other hand was still holding the collar of Emma’s jacket. She smoothed it out and looked at her face.

Emma watched her.

“Come on” Regina turned and pulled Emma along behind her. Emma watched her slink up the stairs. She ran her hand up the sooth banister that curved back on itself as they reached the first floor. They walked across a carpeted landing. 

Emma heard Henry’s snores coming from somewhere. Regina opened a door, pulled Emma through and closed it behind her.

Regina pushed Emma back against the door and kissed her. She pulled her jacket over her shoulders and it dropped to the dark, hardwood floor. 

Emma’s hands found the buttons of Regina’s jeans. She smiled as they kissed and she nudged Regina back and over to the bed. Regina kicked off her shoes and Emma tugged her jeans off. She threw them over her shoulder. Regina laughed.

 

“Shh!” Emma said, playfully putting a finger to her lips and climbing over her. She kissed Regina as she unbuttoned her shirt. Emma sat back to pull her top off. Regina followed.

“Ah ah” Emma said, stopping Regina’s hand that was half-slipped into the front of her jeans “it’s my turn” Emma said as Regina laughed and took her hand away. She propped herself up on her elbows. Emma slid off the bed to pull her own jeans off. She looked up at Regina.

“God you are beautiful” she said climbing back onto the bed. She pulled Regina onto her lap. Regina wrapped her arms and legs around her.

“May I kiss you?” Regina asked, reaching down. Emma licked her lips. Emma pushed her underwear to the side and Regina groaned. Emma went unbearably slowly. She kissed Regina’s neck as her head went back and she rolled her hips, pushing Emma deeper in her. 

Emma let Regina do what she wanted. She held her, kissed her skin and pushed back when Regina rocked on her.

Regina struggled to keep quiet. Replacing moans with gasps, she breathed heavily. She held Emma tightly as she shook and came.

Emma held her as she recovered. She kissed her neck and shoulders. She ran her fingers up the curve of her back. Emma felt relief, like she came right at the same time, though Regina hadn’t touched her.

When Regina loosened her arms Emma let her fall gently onto the dark grey sheets. Emma lay beside her and traced her fingers up and down her body. Goosebumps broke out all over her smooth skin. Emma pulled her black bra strap off her shoulder and pulled the cup down. Emma smiled and kissed Regina’s hard nipple. 

Regina gasped again and let her suck as hard as she could stand. As she did, her hand found Emma’s leg. She slid her hand up her thigh and between her legs.

“Wow” Regina said, finding Emma wet. Emma laughed and looked up at her.

“Well what did you expect?” she asked. Regina smiled, feeling proud she had invoked such a strong reaction in Emma. She sat up, pushed Emma back on the bed and slid her underwear off. Emma could barely contain her excitement.

Regina kissed her hips, the inside of her thighs, she licked and sucked and bit Emma’s skin. Emma writhed.

“My god, you’re such a tease” she said and Regina smiled, continuing to neglect the one place Emma needed her to be.

“Regina!” Emma said, grasping at the sheets, pillows, whatever she could find, tension rippling through her body.

“Shh!” Regina warned from between her thighs

“Please” Emma begged, quietly “do it now, Regina” she said. Then Regina kissed her exactly where she needed. Emma whimpered. She ran her tongue slowly up and down and in circles. Emma squirmed in blissful agony. Regina took her time and it was torturous.

Emma held on for a couple of minutes before Regina went for the finish. Regina slid her fingers inside and a shiver ran through her. She rode swells of pleasure, her hand slid down and grasped a handful of Regina’s hair. Regina laughed and her hot breath tickled Emma.

She came to a surging climax and bit the back of her hand to keep from calling out. Her body heaved, went rigid, then relaxed. 

Regina sat back, wiped her mouth and wiped her hand on the sheets. She lay next to Emma who was trying to catch her breath. She kissed her ear gently and her shoulder. Emma turned to face her and kissed her deeply. She tasted herself on Regina’s tongue.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Emma" Henry said without looking up from his cereal.

"Hey" she replied

"How'd you know it was me?" She asked

"You walk sounds different from my mom's" he said.

"And I guessed you were still here cause of the coffee" he motioned to the two full mugs sitting on the counter.

"Nice work, detective" Emma said. "Do you know who Sherlock Holmes is?" She asked, putting on a fresh pot of coffee

"Yeah, who doesn't?" Henry asked. Emma smiled. "Your mom" she said

"She's not really from here" he said

"Where is she from?" Emma asked "and where is the sugar? Actually I don't want any, never mind"

She turned back to Henry, trying to remember what they had been talking about.

"Oh my god, happy birthday!" She said. He smiled and she have him a big hug.

"I guess my mom is still in bed?" Henry asked

"Ah-um" Emma panicked. ‘Yeah’ she thought ‘naked and exhausted and sleeping through your birthday because of me’.

“Yeah, I'll go take her some coffee and see" she said

"She doesn't take coffee upstairs" he said

"What?" She asked

"She doesn't take coffee upstairs" he repeated. Emma stared at him for a moment.

"Ok. I'll go get her" she said

Emma ran up the stairs.

"Regina" Emma appeared at the side of the bed. She was fast asleep. The sheet came half way up her back and she snuffled into the pillow. Emma smiled. She slid onto the bed beside her and drew back the dark hair that covered her face.

"Hey" she said softly and kissed her shoulder. Regina smiled.

"Hey" she replied.

"Regina, Henry's downstairs and he saw me. He asked if you were in bed. I didn't know he'd be up. I was going to bring you coffee. Are you awake?" She asked as Regina had not responded.

"What time is it?" Regina asked

"After 9" Emma said

"Oh" Regina replied, opening her eyes. She saw Emma's concerned face looking down at her. She rolled onto her back and put her arm around her. 

"Nice shirt" Regina said. Emma rolled her eyes

"I couldn't wear mine from yesterday!" Emma said "did you hear me? I saw Henry downstairs! I didn't know what to say! I said I'd come get you. Do you think the implication was that I slept in your bed? Oh my god"

Emma covered her eyes. Regina sat up.

"Hey" Regina touched Emma's arm "he's twelve. The implication is that we had a sleepover. Even if he figures it out, what's the problem?"

"Unless you're not planning on staying around" Regina said tilting her head "but I doubt you would have come to his party if you weren't"

"I am planning on staying around" Emma said "if you'll let me"

Regina leant forward and kissed her.

"Come on" she said when she pulled away "let's go and do his birthday stuff"

 

"What if he has questions?" Emma asked, her mind racing as they descended the stairs together.

"Then we'll answer them" Regina said "I'm his mother, Emma, what do you think he's going to ask?"

 

"Morning sweetheart" Regina said "Happy Birthday!" He smiled and gave her a hug.

"You must have stayed up pretty late" he said. Emma thought she might throw up from nervousness. "You never sleep past 9"

"I know" Regina said, pouring herself some coffee and noticing the two cups on the side.

"So are you looking forward to going to Toby's house?" Regina asked

Emma's heart rate went down, glad they had moved on from why Regina was so tired.

Henry turned to her "my friend Toby has a dog. He's awesome. I'm not allowed a dog"

"No you're not, not until you're old enough to take card of it" Regina said

"I'm twelve!" He said, like there was nothing in the world he could not achieve now.

"Go get dressed, I'll make pancakes" Regina said

“Yes!” Henry said hopping off his chair.

"You already had cereal" Emma said

"Oh really?" Regina asked

"Traitor" he said to Emma who laughed. "it was just to keep me going. I didn't know how late you two were up last night" and with that he left the room. Emma's heart had leapt into her throat again. She picked up her luke warm coffee.

"You ok?" Regina asked

"Yeah I think so" Emma said. There was a pause.

"You don't have to stay" Regina said.

Emma looked out if the window. It was the first time she had been in the kitchen in the daylight. The view was of the garden. It was well kept, small and pretty with an apple tree in the middle.

"Can I tell you something?" Emma asked

"Yes" Regina looked at her questioningly and sipped her coffee.

"A long time ago I had a baby" she said. It seemed to tumble from her mouth, inelegant, unrehearsed, raw. Regina put her coffee down.

"He would be 12 today as well" her voice shook slightly. "I hope he is as well taken care of as Henry." 

A tear dropped down her face and Regina went to her. Emma wiped her cheek with her sleeve.

"I gave him up straight away, I couldn't take care of him" she wiped another tear. Regina touched Emma’s arm but didn’t speak. "I'm really glad I got to come to Henry's party yesterday" Emma wiped both of her eyes.

Regina pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. She had no words that would ease Emma’s heartache. She could not imagine losing Henry. Nothing she said would help, so instead she embraced the woman she was starting to care very deeply about.

 

When Henry came back they were talking about something else but he could see from the glint in Emma’s eyes that she had been upset.

"Why are you crying?" He asked as she sat next to him at the table.

"You're crying" Emma accused

"No I'm not" he laughed

"Your mom" Emma said

"Hey" Regina protested, with her back to them as she flipped another pancake.

 

“What are you going to do today?” Emma asked, cutting into her last pancake.

“Work” Regina said “we have a lot of big projects coming up, I want to make sure all our numbers are as up to date as they can be before we get started on outlining the plans for them”

Emma nodded.

“That sounds really boring” she said. Regina laughed.

“I actually like it. I like to feel prepared. What are you doing?” She asked

Henry poured more syrup on his pancakes and listened.

“I don’t have any plans. Maybe the movies” Emma answered

“With who?” Regina asked, sipping her black coffee, hoping the instant jealousy that flared up inside her was not evident in her voice.

“No one” Emma replied

“You can’t go by yourself” Regina said, questioningly

Henry looked between them, observing the odd conversation, though he couldn’t figure out what made it so strange.

“Of course I can” Emma said “It’s liberating to go and see whatever I want and not have to worry if the other person enjoyed it” Regina laughed.

“Want to come?” Emma smiled

“To see whatever you want and have you not care if I enjoy it? I think I’ll pass” Regina replied.

“How about you pick and I won’t evem complain if I don’t enjoy it?” Emma asked.

Henry rolled his eyes. Regina would never skip out on work for something social.

“What time?” Regina asked

Henry’s mouth fell open.

“Whenever you like” Emma replied. She put her knife and fork together on the plate, triumphantly done with her pancakes. The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it” Regina said, getting up from the table.

Emma turned to look at Henry who eyed her suspiciously.

“Are you and my mom dating?” he asked 

Emma stared back at him, floored and unable to think for a couple of seconds.

“Hi Regina, how have you been?” They heard Toby’s mother’s voice in the hallway. Henry’s gaze was unrelenting.

“Um” Emma said eventually “I don’t really know” she answered, remember Henry’s supposed gift for telling truth from lies. His gaze didn’t falter. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Yes he had a great time” They heard Regina saying “He’s just finishing up his breakfast and he’ll be right out…oh, pancakes ha ha ha”

“It’s kind of up to her-” Emma said

“No it’s not” Henry interrupted. Emma froze again. “You wouldn’t be here if she didn’t like you. You wouldn’t have met me. She’s made her move.”

Emma thought about what Harper had told her. He’d known Regina for years and never met her son. 

“It’s your move now” Henry said “make sure it’s the right one.” He slid off his chair and made for the door.

“Hey Henry” Emma said, recovering slightly and turning in her chair. He turned to face her.

“Thanks for inviting me to your party” she said and smiled. He smiled back.

“You’re welcome” he replied. “I’m glad you came, even though you suck at laser tag” 

Emma laughed. Regina opened the door to the kitchen.

“Ready?” she asked him. He picked up his bag and ran off through the door. Regina waved them off and then came back into the kitchen. Emma was doing the dishes.

“You don’t have to do that” Regina said

“I know” Emma said “that’s why I don’t mind doing it”

Regina kissed her cheek.

“Well thank you” she said and topped up both of their coffee cups.

“Do you still want to talk?” Regina asked. Emma dried her hands.

“I don’t think so” she said quietly. She looked at the kitchen floor and thought 

“Movies?” Regina asked. Emma laughed.

“Yeah, let’s see what’s on” she replied

 

They did go to the movies that night. They got dinner and ended up at Emma’s apartment since Henry was staying at Toby’s. Over the next few weeks they met for dinner, for lunch, for coffee, for anything they could think of to be together, though Regina always referred to her as Miss Swan in the office, and in her schedule. 

They christened every room in Emma’s apartment and, when Henry was staying with friends, many of the rooms in Regina’s house, too.

When Henry wasn’t away they watched films with him, Emma played video games with him and pretended she was losing on purpose. Regina watched them play and felt completely at ease.

 

“What made you choose that bar that night?” Regina asked one night as they lay together in her bed.

“I don’t know” Emma said. Her head rested on Regina’s shoulder. She dragged her nails lightly up and down Regina’s torso, giving her goosebumps.

“I liked the look of it. I liked the sign, that lit up tree, it just looked…magic” Emma said

Her choice of words made Regina a little uncomfortable.

“And it wasn’t too busy, which was nice. I hate feeling lonely in a busy place. It’s easier to be by yourself somewhere quiet, but then I found what I was looking for” she smiled

“Though I didn’t know if you would play but you did and I knew I wasn’t going to be alone on my 28th birthday” Emma said.

Regina had been listening but was largely distracted by Emma’s hands. Her eyes suddenly opened wide. ’28 years?’ she asked herself. Henry was twelve now so twelve years ago would have been sixteen years since the curse’. She looked down at Emma who was kissing her chest, her stomach, her nails barely scratched the tops of her thighs but it was enough to make her tingle.

“Emma, it’s late” Regina said. Emma made no reply but she kissed Regina’s hips.

“Emma, we should go to sleep” Regina struggled to keep her voice steady as she felt the warmth of Emma’s tongue on her skin

“E-Emma” Regina faltered. Emma’s hair tickled her skin as it fell around her. Emma pushed her back up into the pillows and Regina gasped and grabbed the sturdy wooden headboard.

“Emma, come on, ah!” Emma pushed harder, sucked a little harder and soon she felt Regina’s fingers slide through her golden curls, showing her where she wanted attention.

“N-No fingers” Regina breathed. Emma pulled out and focussed all of her attention on using her tongue to please her.

They lost all track of time. Regina held on for an admirable length of time, but eventually rolled into a shuddering orgasm and Emma slid back up the bed. She cuddled up around Regina as she lay with her hand on her forehead.

“We can sleep now” Emma said. Regina turned her head to see her.

“What?” she asked “Don’t you want…?” Regina trailed off. Emma looked at her.

“But you want to sleep. It’s after one” Emma said. Regina rolled onto her side.

“Tell me what you want” Regina said quietly. Emma grinned, took her hand and guided her to the exact place she wanted her.

A wicked smile broke across Regina’s face. Emma closed her eyes and groaned a little.

“I love how wet you get for me” Regina said. Emma smiled distantly. Her mind was on Regina’s fingers, which were making painfully slow circles. Regina kissed her ear, bit her lobe and whispered dirty things to her. 

Emma shook and Regina almost stopped completely. Emma’s tense body relaxed again and Regina resumed rubbing her slowly up and down and in circles. After a short while Emma’s breathing became rapid and Regina quickened her pace. She told Emma all the things she wanted to do to her and just before she thought Emma could take no more, she slowed down again. Emma moaned with pleasure and frustration.

“You’re evil” she breathed. Regina smiled

“You have no idea” she whispered into her ear as she brought Emma back up to climax. 

She shook and squirmed in Regina’s grip. She called out her name as Regina let her tip over the edge. Emma’s nails left marks where she had gripped Regina’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last part was inspired by this fanart I saw today:
> 
> http://kenda-oh.deviantart.com/art/Obey-the-Queen-346287440


	6. Chapter 6

“Bobby” Regina greeted the woman at the door to her office “It’s good to see you again” she shook her hand.

“Can’t be that good if you need me” and she laughed. Regina closed the door and while the other woman’s back was to her, she read her up and down.

“You’ve changed a lot since the last time I saw you” Regina said “maybe you’re not the one I need anymore”. Bobby turned. She wore red cropped trousers, a brown blazer over a colourful shirt and her hair was short, with a long sweeping fringe.

“I thought I’d dress up to come and see you, darling” she leant back on Regina’s desk. “What do you need, my love?” she asked. She briefly turned a picture on Regina’s desk to see who was in the frame. It was Henry. She turned back to Regina and slowly took her in.

Regina had intentionally worn a dress she knew showed her off and Bobby visibly appreciated it.

“I need some information on someone” Regina said “drink?” 

“Gari?” Bobby asked, following Regina to the stand that held decanters. 

“Do you need to ask?” Regina said as she poured them each a glass of her favourite whisky.

 

Emma opened Regina’s office door to the sound of laughter. Regina reclined on her sofa and Bobby Feng sat on the opposite arm of it, looking at her in a way that put Emma on edge.

“Am I interrupting?” she asked as they looked up “James said your diary was free”

“No” Regina said, sitting up “we were just catching up” she smiled at Bobby.

“Emma Swan” Bobby got up and strode over to her “long time no see” she held out her hand but Emma didn’t take it.

It was a sunny day, she had worn a high-necked summer dress and was now glad she chose to wear heels too as it made her taller than Bobby.

“Bobby” Emma said “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh” she said, turning to smile at Regina “just catching up, we go way back”

Emma was not the jealous type. Her approach to life was that everything was fluid, temporary, and in the case of many things other people valued, illusory. Despite this, envy rose up in her, filling her chest until she felt like she could spit fire. All she could come up with was a venomous smile as Bobby passed her to leave.

"We'll talk soon, darling" Bobby emphasised the last word. "Emma" she said with a gleeful look in her eyes.

Emma swung the door closed. She watched Regina still seated on her couch. Her chest was still full of the hot, wretched feeling she was working so hard to keep down.

"How are you?" Regina asked, setting her empty glass down.

"Fine" Emma said. Regina raised an eyebrow

"Fine?" She asked

"Yeah" Emma said in an attempt at ease "I'm fine". Regina watched her head over to the window. She looked down into the street, as if to make sure Bobby really left.

"How was your morning?" Regina asked.

"Fine" Emma replied, still looking out of the window. Regina sat up.

"Nice weather today, isn't it?" She tried a third time to get Emma to speak.

"It's f-" Emma began

"Fine?" Regina interrupted. Emma turned to look at her. "Is that the word of the day on your dictionary calendar?"

"What?" Emma asked

"Fine" Regina said. She felt their conversation teetered on the edge of an argument but she wasn't going to sit in her own office and be told "fine" to everything she said when she hadn’t even done anything.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Regina asked

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Emma raised her voice. "What the hell is Bobby Feng doing in your office? You're in here laughing and drinking in the middle of the day like teenagers with nothing better to do! And you, in that dress!"

Emma had seen her in the dress before. She had torn it off her in fact. Now she looked at it almost in disgust. 

Regina watched her, she had the same look in her eyes that Henry got when he was in a tantrum. She recognised it and it scared her. She hoped beyond reason her suspicions were untrue which is why she needed Bobby Feng to find out everything she could about where Emma came from, where her baby went and if fate’s cruel hand had placed them both together.

Regina thought all of this while Emma stared angrily at her.

"God I hate her!" Emma said "why her? Why is she here?" Emma asked

"We were catching up on old times. I knew her when I first got here" Regina replied calmly "She helped me out a lot"

"Yeah I bet she did" Emma said looking out if the window

"Excuse me?" Regina asked getting up and walking to the window.

"I'm sorry" Emma said "I didn’t mean to imply…I have history with her. She's not a good person"

Emma's choice if words unsettled Regina.

"She just takes what she wants, Regina. That's why she always looks so fucking happy. She doesn't care about anyone but herself" Emma said, her voice softening somewhat, though Regina heard the pain of past experience in it.

"Sometimes you need people who wear their motivation on their sleeve, Emma" Regina said

"What does that mean?" Emma asked

"It means what it sounds like. And she's useful to know" Regina said

"I'm useful to know" Emma said "she’s evil!"

"Emma!" Regina bristled at her choice of words again "she's doing something for me"

"Oh yeah?" Emma asked "and what are you doing for her?" She looked at Regina, her eyes full of jealousy, rage and possessiveness. No one had ever looked at Regina like that before, ever fought over her. She thought it was primitive but in this moment she was torn between throwing her out of her office and throwing her on the desk.

She held her gaze until Emma turned away, a look of disgust plain on her face. 

"Will I see you tonight?" Regina asked

"You know, I have to cancel" Emma said, she opened the door and looked back at Regina.

"Fine" Regina said. Her face was stone as she delivered the stinging response.

Emma glared back at her and slammed the door as she left. Regina turned to the window, hands on her hips. The door opened again.

"Regina, could I possibly leave early tonight? I have to pick up Leah from play group" James sensed the raging atmosphere in the office "you look great today by the way" he added also noticing Regina's dress.

"Shut up, James" she said. "Leave whenever you want"

"Thanks boss" he smiled as he left the room.

Regina watched Emma leave the building, whistle for a cab and get one immediately. She wondered how she did that. 'Magic?' Regina smiled sadly to herself.

 

Regina spent an inordinate amount of time agonizing over whether to call Emma or not. She didn’t want to apologise because she hadn’t done anything. She thought the least Emma could do was explain her problem with Bobby. Regina knew she was a cad, but she was nothing she couldn’t handle, no worse than any other she had dealt with.

She did not call Emma, she did not text or accidentally-on-purpose run into her and Emma didn’t either.

Regina met Bobby for lunch later that week, having heard nothing from Emma since her dramatic exit.

"Well everything I found is pretty boring" she said, passing a memory card to Regina. "Although she was found in the woods as a baby, which explains a few things if you ask me" she leant back and laughed.

"I'm not asking you" Regina said, taking the card.

"So there is something going on!" Bobby clapped her hands and sat forward. Today she wore a bright, silky shirt and blue trousers. Her jewellery danced and jingled as she moved.

"I thought so, but ugh!" she said "She looked like she might kill me if I stayed any longer in your office, and you in that dress. Unf!" she bit her lip and looked Regina up and down again as if remembering her in it, or imagining her out of it. "That must have really fucked her up. Did you fight when I left?"

Regina did not reply.

"God she is so textbook." Bobby drained her drink

"Funny" Regina said "she more or less said the same thing about you" Bobby laughed.

"We are two sides of the same coin, darling. Though you’ve chosen the wrong one" Bobby said, almost genuinely.

"I only get to choose one?" Regina flirted back. Bobby smiled at her wickedly, knowing her invitation was false but enjoying it anyway.

"You know where I am, darling" she said as she alighted. She kissed Regina's cheek as she passed and left.

 

Regina opened the memory card as soon as she got back to her desk. It was true. Emma was found in the woods near Storybrooke, she had a baby, Henry was her son.

She sat back in her comfortable chair. She let the ice in her drink melt in the glass. After a while James entered the office.

"I have a fax for you" he said and saw her distant face "I know, who uses fax anymore? I didn't even know we had a fax machine" he continued "are you ok?"

"No" Regina said after a pause. "I'm not well. Clear my afternoon. You're in charge" she said. She took the memory card, threw it in her bag and left.

James stood in the office staring after the woman who had never taken a sick day in the eight years he had known her.

 

"Where to Ms Mills?" Bourneville asked

"Um" Regina said "I don't know. Can we drive around for a bit"

"Yes ma'am" he answered and pulled away from the curb.

Regina couldn't organise her thoughts. 'How has this happened? How is it possible? How is Emma who she is? How have I let myself fall...' She didn't let herself finish that thought 'and Henry, will I lose him?' Tears filled her eyes at the thought.

Thy drove out of the city through some back roads that Bourneville had chosen for their ease. They drove through urban sprawl, through the boundary where the city and nature collide. Old rail tracks in the process of being reclaimed by lilac trees and a river forced into a walled route.

Regina watched the current in the water. 'We are all just fish in the river' she thought. No matter how far or for how long she ran from her past it would always come back to claim her.

She hadn't thought about Snow White in a long time. Every time she did an icy hand grasped her heart. The worst mistake she ever made was to trust her. Since then her life has been nothing but pain and suffering, until Henry.

And now Emma, the prophesied saviour was here to return them all to the way things were, only worse because now they had been trapped in a timeless hell for 28 years and they probably wouldn't be pleased about that. Unless something had happened and they had somehow gotten home, how would she even know?

'And Emma is the daughter of...' She cringed internally. She could not comprehend the mess that this had turned out to be.

"How did I get here?" Regina asked aloud. Bourneville checked the rear view mirror, saw that she was not talking to him, and continued to mind his own business.

The fears and doubts she had long since put out of her mind flooded back. The world she created for Henry to live in was one of love and comfort in a way she never knew growing up. He was free.

She considered not telling either of them what she had learned, what she had known somewhere deep down all along. She imagined sitting down to dinner with Emma and not saying the only thing she could think of. She thought of watching her and Henry play video games and Henry's birthday party, how he loved having Emma in his life and how she loved and missed him in equal measure.

"No" Regina shook her head at herself "they have to know.” She watched trees blur past her window. She looked up at the sunny blue sky, so happy and bright and hopeful, and she hated it. 

“I am going to lose everything.” She said “Again"


	7. Chapter 7

When she got home Regina poured a large glass of wine. She dialled Emma's number and stood looking out into her garden with one hand resting on her hip.

"We need to talk" she said as soon as Emma answered

"I know" Emma said "tonight?

"As soon as possible" Regina said "do you need a lift?"

"No" Emma replied, perturbed by Regina's decisive tone.

"Ok, see you soon" Regina said and hung up, not waiting for an answer.

 

When Henry got home she hugged him extra hard.

"Mom!" Her protested. She hadn't even let him take his coat off.

"I love you so much Henry" she said.

"I know" he replied "I love you too...can you let go of me?" He asked. She did and kissed his cheeky face.

"I've ordered pizza for dinner" she said and his face lit up. “Could you go to your room until it arrives?" Regina asked, he ran upstairs before she could take back the exciting prospect of pizza.

It wasn’t lonf before Emma arrived. She wore a black check shirt and high-waist trousers that Regina thought she probably would have worn herself.

"You look nice" she said as Emma entered the kitchen.

"I had a meeting" she said

Regina nodded. She had a different look for every time of day, it seemed. Regina held the foot of her wine glass as though it was trying to escape. She hadn't seen Emma since she stormed out of her office and did not know how to talk to her now.

"I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you the other day" Emma began

"It's not that" Regina said "though thank you for apologising" she added. Emma's face turned from humility to anxiety. There was another pause.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Emma asked

"I need to tell you something" Regina said, still not looking at her. "I did something and I know you will be angry and I don't expect you to forgive me but I have to tell you, regardless." Regina said.

Emma stood stock still in the middle of the kitchen floor, scared to breathe, her mind raced at what Regina could have done. ‘Maybe something to do with Henry or Max or fucking Bobby Feng (like, literally)’ she thought. She tried to shake the image of Bobby’s smug face from her mind.

"Regina what is it?" Emma asked. Regina sat down at the table and Emma sat next to her.

"I'm not sure where to start" Regina’s voice shook slightly but she got it under control. She had been the mayor of Storybrooke and the queen of the Enchanted Forest, she had done harder things than this, but not many.

"I got someone to find some things out about you" Regina said quickly before she lost her nerve.

"Why?" Emma asked "there's nothing I wouldn’t tell you myself" she said, her forehead wrinkled.

"Things you may not even know." Regina said

"Is this Bobby fucking around with you? You can't trust her!" Emma said

"I have no reason to believe she is lying, Emma. She got everything I needed" Regina said sharply, hoping to avoid another argument about Bobby Feng.

"You were found in the woods as a baby" Regina said

"Yeah I know" Emma said, shifting in her seat "in the middle of nowhere, wha-" Regina cut her off

"No. It was outside of a town called Storybrooke." She said

"No, Regina there's nothing there, I looked it up on Google Earth" Emma said. Regina almost smiled at this world's advanced technology and complete lack of knowledge about any other realm.

"I know who your parents are" was her next statement. Emma's eyes widened

"Wha-wh-why would you...?" she stuttered as a hundred questions tried to force their way out of her mouth at once.

"I knew them a long time ago. I knew your mother when she was Henry's age" Regina said, not really worrying if Emma believed her because it was true. Emma sat back, mouth open.

"Regina, what is going on? You're saying...crazy things" Emma said, carefully.

"Yes I know it sounds that way. I don't expect you to believe me straight away but you will because it's true" Regina said. Emma stared at her.

"Where are they then?" Emma asked calmly after a couple of minutes of silence, though her thoughts thrashed wildly around her head.

"Storybrooke. Near where you were found" Regina said

"There's no such place!" Emma raised her voice "it even sounds ridiculous!"

"Yes I know that" Regina replied. They stared at each other again.

"There's something else" Regina said eventually

"Santa is for real?" Emma asked sarcastically

"I found your son" Regina said ignoring Emma's comments.

Emma froze.

"You did what?" She asked in a low, serious voice. Regina didn't reply. "You, you, you have no right...how dare you go and..." Emma stood up, she swept her hair back from her face and held her hands at her temples.

"I, I, I can't believe you would, what possessed you to-" Emma cast around for any answer, any question that made sense.

"It's Henry" Regina cut across her, looking down at the table. Emma’s arms fell slowly to her sides.

"What?" She asked

"Henry.” Regina said, looking up at Emma “I adopted him twelve years ago in Boston"

"Boston?!" Emma said.

"Yes" Regina said "we lived in Storybrooke for a while but I moved us here and...eleven years later you appeared in that bar and..." Regina trailed off "here we are." She opened her hands and put them back together again.

Emma felt overwhelmed by everything. The lights in the kitchen were suddenly too bright, her clothes too tight, the air too close.

 

"You know I never thought that Henry's ability to identify a lie was convenient, until now" Regina said, realising that Emma may choose not to accept what she had said, though it was all completely true.

Emma looked pale.

"I think I've lost my mind" she said to herself. "How can any of this be true?" She asked.

Regina didn't really have an answer, she had asked herself the same question and was equally dissatisfied with the answer.

She wondered if she had told Emma too much in one go, if telling her about magic before she asked would be a step too far. She drank some wine but it seemed tasteless. Emma sat back down at the table.

"How could you know my...parents?" Emma hesitated at the word "you're not that much older than me" she said.

"I'm older than you think" Regina said, she thought carefully about how to phrase what she needed to say. Emma waited, she ran her hand over her mouth and breathed deeply.

"You need to understand that you come from a place with magic" Regina said

Emma laughed "like Neverland?" She asked

Regina thought "more like fairy tales" she answered. Emma sighed.

“Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?” she joked.

“Yes” Regina replied, stunned at the example she chose.

"Oh boy" Emma leant forward at the table. "Am I asleep?" She asked "am I high? Are you high?"

"I'm not, and I hope you're not either, you drove here" Regina said. This dose of reality, a glimpse of mundane life again seemed to awaken something in Emma.

"Henry?" She asked

"He's upstairs" Regina said, her heart sank.

"Have you told him?" Emma asked. Regina shook her head

"Are you going to?" Emma asked

Regina sat back in her chair, her legs were crossed and she leant on the table, swirling the wine in her glass.

"I think he has a right to know, but then you also have a right for him not to know" she said

"Now you're concerned for my privacy? That's convenient" Emma snapped

"Would you rather I told you both nothing? Let you live side by side never knowing who you are and where you come from?" Regina asked "it would have been easier" she said, remembering all the times she did the easier thing and that the right thing rarely brought any greater reward.

"There's something else" Regina said in the silence that had followed her last statement.

"Besides fairytales, towns that don't exist and the completely illegal procurement of information about me?" Emma asked

"Yes" Regina said "but before I tell you" she looked up into her eyes like it might be the last time she ever did "I want you to know that knowing how much I have hurt you will never stop hurting me"

Emma's brow wrinkled.

"You are special" Regina said "you threatened to undo what I had sacrificed" Regina looked at her hand and remembered her father's heart beating in it. A tear dropped from her eye

"What I had sacrificed everything for" she said. She wiped her eye and drew a deep breath.

"So I told your parents I would kill you. They sent you away to protect you" Regina said

She looked at Emma's face, having no choice now but to accept that truth she had just spoken. She looked into her troubled blue eyes. She didn't see Snow, she didn't see Charming, she saw Henry. She gulped back the rest of her tears.

At that moment the doorbell rang. Neither of them moved they just looked at each other. They heard Henry fly down the stairs to answer it. In a moment he was in the kitchen with two pizza boxes.

Regina felt like her heart was breaking when Emma tore her eyes away turned to look at her son. She watched her eyes filled with wonder and fear as she observed him, completely unaware.

Emma's head seemed to clear of fog as she looked at him. She knew it was true. She wanted it to be but she could feel it in her heart, too.

Henry sat at the table with a plate full of pizza. He happily munched away for a while before noticing both women were quiet and looking at him.

"Did I do something?" He asked looking from one to the other.

Regina looked at Emma who nodded slightly. It was all she could manage, she felt like she was made of lead. Her limbs were heavy and something pressed hard on her chest.

"Henry we need to talk to you about something" Regina said, and she touched his arm.

He looked at Emma's face. She smiled at him but it didn't seem happy. He looked at Regina and she did the same. He couldn't tell what was happening.

"Henry, Emma is your birth mother" Regina said.

Emma braced for shock, anger, disappointment but none of it came.

"Oh!" Henry said, looking relived "I know" he said and took another bite from a slice of pizza.

Emma and Regina looked at each other and back at Henry.

"What do you mean you know?" Regina asked. He finished chewing.

"I just had a feeling" Henry said. He put his pizza down and wiped his hands on one of the napkins he had brought to the table. "And I borrowed your credit card" he said looking at Regina, slightly scared.

"The one I lost?" Regina asked. He nodded. "So it isn't lost?" She asked. He shook his head at Regina and turned to look at Emma.

"I looked you up" Henry said "it's scary what you can find out about people with a bit of money" he added, as if data protection was his primary concern in this.

"Sorry I didn't tell you" he said "I didn't want to scare you away" Emma laughed at the idea of being scared away by a twelve year old. Henry smiled at her and she laughed harder, even Regina smiled as she watched the scene unfold in front her.

"Can I give you a hug?" Henry asked. They had hugged before, they had hugged since he knew who she was, but for her this was the first time.

She hugged him hard and he grinned at Regina.

"God" Emma said "you were a lot smaller the last time I saw you. Henry Mills."

Emma put him down and looked at his face in a way she never had before. The phone rang and he ran off to get it before Regina could. She sat at the table, her chin resting in her hand as she watched Emma meet her son.

Emma breathed out deeply and looked at her.

"That was a surprise" she said and sat down again. "Pepperoni and mushroom is my favourite" Emma said, looking at the pizza.

"It's his too" Regina said warmly but sadly.

"We still have to talk" Emma said

"I know" Regina replied

"Like about this town and my parents and...stuff" Emma said

"Magic?" Regina asked. Emma sighed and looked concerned.

"Sure" Emma said.

"Do you believe anything I've told you, with the exception of Henry?" Regina asked

"I...think I just...can't" Emma said

"Ok" Regina said

"I mean, magic Regina?" Emma asked "like Harry Potter?"

"You know that's not really a good representation of magic in my realm. Our realm, I suppose" she said

"Yeah I'll ask my mom!" They heard Henry on the phone in the hall.

"Do some magic then" Emma said. Regina raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not a magician, Emma, I don't perform tricks on command" Regina reprimanded.

Emma went quiet. Her elbows rested on the table and she let her eyes rest on nothing in particular while she thought.

She noticed the box in front of her lift, but it wasn't for a moment that she realised no one was touching it. She looked up and Regina let it drop. Regina touched her glass and the wine froze. Emma lifted her eyes and looked at Regina.

"Is this what you wanted to see?" She asked

Emma eyed her warily but made no reply. Regina sighed, then in a puff of purple smoke she was gone. Emma jumped at the sight.

"Woops" Regina said behind her. Emma turned quickly in her chair to see Regina regaining her balance, a couple of feet away from her.

"It's been a while since I did that" she said

"If you can do that, why can't you just summon my parents here?" Emma asked

"You can't just summon anyone, only people you have power over. When I was qu-" Henry rentered the kitchen.

"Toby wanted to know if I could go over at the weekend, but I said I didn't know." He smiled at them both.

"What were you talking about?" He asked and tucked back into his pizza.

"Your mom can do magic" Emma said

"Yeah I know" he replied

"What?" Emma and Regina asked in unison

"You do it sometimes without realising or when you think I can’t see" he said to Regina.

"The other day you cut the power out" he said

"That was a light in your room" Regina said

"No it wasn't" Henry said "and I've seen you fix broken glasses, not put them back together, unbreak them"

 

 

Regina and Emma talked late into the night. Henry was present for some of it but was sent to bed long after his bedtime had passed.

"What happens next is your choice" Regina said

"It doesn't sound like I have much of a choice" Emma said "if I don't go I'm going to spend the rest of my life wondering if I just hallucinated this whole night'

Regina heard the unspoken part of Emma's dilemma too 'what if I'm not crazy and my parents are trapped in this town waiting for me I save them?'

They sat in silence for a while. Regina sat on the sofa with her legs tucked neatly underneath her. Emma sat on the floor, cross-legged next to the fire that Regina had lit for her as another example of magic.

Emma stared at the fire, it was beautiful. She could feel the heat from it. It was real, but it came from Regina's hands. She slowly reached out to touch a flame. One licked her finger and the glowing embers below stung her hand.

She sucked her breath in sharply and withdrew it. She squeezed her hand as if trying to get the heat out.

Regina looked up, not having seen what happened. Emma's eyes were closed and she sighed, holding her bunched up hand to her chest.

"I need to go home" Emma said. She rose and stretched.

Regina got up too and walked her to the door. Emma fiddled with her car keys as they stood in the porch.

'When will I see you again?' Regina wanted to ask 'will I ever? Will you ever forgive me? Will I ever stop being punished for what I did?'

"Ok" Emma said as she opened and stepped through the door

"Emma wait" Regina said and Emma turned back on the step. Regina walked over to her. She looked down into her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Regina rasped, apologising for the night, for not being able to sugar-coat anything for her, for not telling her sooner, for ever telling her, for the curse, for her parents, for the life she stole from her. All off it. Everything. She was sorry for everything she had done and she needed Emma to know it before she left, possibly forever.

Emma looked back at her. Her expression wasn't hard, but slightly dazed and tired beyond sleep. She pressed her lips together, not knowing what would come out if she spoke. She took Regina's aching expression in and left. Regina stood on the steps of her house and watched her drive away. It was cold. She stayed there a while, feeling like she had lost a limb. Wondering how much a heart could take before it just gave in and stopped.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm going away for a while" Emma said to Harper.

"Hi" he replied, rubbing his eyes as she passed him. He closed his apartment door and pulled his robe tighter around himself.

"Coffee?" He asked.

"No" she said "I don't know how your machine works"

"Well I do" he said, glancing at the clock on his wall

"Sorry it's early" Emma said, dropping noisily into a stool at the breakfast bar. She dropped a bag of pastries on the counter.

"Does this have anything to do with Regina?" Harper asked

"Yes" Emma replied "but it has a lot to do with me"

Harper pressed some buttons on his machine that began gurgling and promised coffee.

"Henry is my..." She trailed off. He leant on the counter, watching her expression change as she struggled t find the right words. "He is mine"

Harper didn’t react immediately "he's yours?" he turned to ted the beeping machine.

"He was 12 on the 7th" Emma said "Regina adopted him in Boston"

Harper dropped something in the deep sink and it smashed.

"What was that?" She asked

"Don't worry about it" he said "in Boston? Are you sure?"

"Yeah" Emma said "and he took Regina's credit card to find out who I am"

Harper's laugh boomed around the kitchen.

"Well that sounds like you" he said

"Yeah except I never found anything" Emma said, half joking, half painfully remembering.

"But I might have found them" Emma said.

Harper turned to her. "Em" he said. It wasn't really a question or a statement, just a reassurance.

"I know" she said "but I have to go"

There was a pause while he looked at his sister. Older, streetwise and canny, he knew she could take care of herself and he loved and respected her above anyone else.

"Where are they?" He asked eventually.

"A town called Storybrooke" she said

"Storybook?" He asked, smiling

"Brooke" Emma said

"Sounds like hell" he said

"I think it was designed that way" Emma said, thinking of how Regina had described it. He chuckled.

"So I'm going to go and check it out" Emma sighed. 'And there might be magic and I might be crazy and I might not be able to get home!' She thought

"Baby?" A woman appeared at the kitchen door in one of Harper's big t-shirts.

"Sophia, I'm so sorry I didnt mean to wake you up" Emma said, turning to her

"It's ok" she said, the crossed her arms and leant on the door frame "how you doing?"

"Ok" Emma replied. It wasn't quite a lie. "You?"

"Yeah good" she said "did I hear something break?" she asked Harper

"That mug you hate" Harper said

"Oh good" she smiled "I'm going to do some work in here" she said turning back to the bedroom "see you, Emma"

"Bye" Emma waved. She looked at Harper.

"Maxwell" she said, warmly "you've been holding out on me"

"It only happened a couple of days ago, we're not officially back together but" he said

"Ah ha" Emma replied, eyeing the matching coffee cups he held. "I'm happy for you" she said. He smiled bashfully.

Emma left her brother's apartment for the last time in what she thought would be a long time. She chatted to Berenice on the way back down.

 

"The thing is" Regina explained to Henry "if she wants to go, I have to take her, which means you have to come too"

Henry sat on the sofa with Regina. He had moved piles of paperwork to sit there and her laptop sat closed on the coffee table.

"And there's magic there?" He asked

"I don't know what will be there" Regina answered truthfully "it could be gone or it could be exactly the same. I really have no idea"

"I think it sounds fun" he said. She smiled at his excited expression though it wore off to ask his next question.

"Are you and Emma ok?" He asked

"As people?" Regina asked, taking it a bit literally.

"No mom, are you still a couple? Are you ok?" He said

Regina thought before she answered him. Her standard response was always that she was ok, but he wanted to know about them as a couple, if they even were a couple.

"I don't think so, Henry" she said eventually

His face grew sad because he knew she told the truth and it hurt her heart.

"The things I have done are...unforgivable" she said. He went to interrupt her "ah!" She said and he fell quiet "it came from a place of desperation, darkness, hopelessness beyond what you can even imagine. I was consumed by rage. I was...unrecognisable. It has taken me a long time to become who am I now"

"Is this what you were like before?" he asked

"Not really" she replied "I was naive, weak" she chastised herself "and blissful in my ignorance" she said

"It makes me sad when you tell me things like that, but I'm glad you told me" Henry said. 

He crawled across the sofa, put his arm around her and rested his head on her stomach. She put her arm around him too and hugged her son. She stroked his hair and wondered what school would be like for him in Storybrooke.

 

Emma entered the living room to see Regina and Henry on the sofa. Henry had fallen asleep and Regina was reading a report over his head.

"Hey" Emma said quietly as she entered.

"Hello" Regina replied, pleasantly surprised to see her. Henry stirred.

"I'm going to make some coffee." Emma said "do you want some?"

Regina stopped herself from offering to make it and accepted Emma's offer. Henry was very accepting so far, but she felt he didn't really understand and once he did, he might not come for a cuddle and fall asleep on her again. She put her report down and stroked his hair while she listened to Emma in the kitchen.

 

Emma sat with her coffee in an armchair across from Regina.

"I want to go" Emma said eventually. Regina was unsurprised. She had to do the valiant thing, give up her life to save people she had never met. She was a Charming, 'though much less irritating and self righteous' Regina thought.

"When do you want to leave?" she asked

"As soon as possible, before I change my mind" Emma smiled self consciously.

"Tomorrow?" Regina asked "I'll have to arrange things with Henry's school and so on"

"Yeah, that's fine." Emma said. It was early afternoon, the light outside was changing.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" Emma asked

'Not really' was Regina's initial thought. She didn't exactly have anything to celebrate.

"Where?" she asked

"Kabuki kitchen" Emma said. The Japanese restaurant was pretty new and connected underground to a club Emma had heard about.

Regina could see where this was going but how could she refuse Emma this? She had done so much to hurt her and now turned her life upside down, the least she could do was take her out when are asked.

"Fine" Regina said "I'll call Felicity"

 

Regina wore a black dress, feeling too down to wear anything brighter. She reapplied her dark lipstick in the car.

"You look resplendent this evening Ms Mills" Bourneville said looking into the rear view mirror.

"Thank you" she said "you know, what we discussed earlier is going ahead.” He looked slightly downcast.

"Thank you letting me know, Ms Mills" he replied

"Your contract will be honoured though and I will give you a glowing reference" she said

"Thank you Ms Mills" he replied

Regina was more upset at leaving Bourneville than she had expected to be. Why was it she always lost the people she cared about?

She entered the restaurant to see Emma waiting in the bar. She wore a red dress that clung to her shape. Men in expensive looking suits surrounded her.

Jealousy flashed through Regina and for an instant she wanted to set them all on fire. It passed and she made her way over.

"That's hilarious!" She heard Emma saying. "Oh hey, Regina, this is Luke, he just told me the funniest story" Regina couldn't tell if she was drunk or just hyper. Luke turned to Regina, gave her a brilliant white smile and began his story again.

"How deeply interesting" Regina cut him off. He looked surprised. Emma watched Regina over the rim of her glass.

"Do you want a drink?" Emma asked more soberly

"I'll order at the table" Regina replied shortly. Emma slid off her barstool and followed her to the table, leaving Luke wondering what the hell had just happened.

They had a civilised dinner, though Regina hardly tasted her food. Emma made small talk and jokes though none of them stuck. Regina was polite and non-committal and was relieved when the bill came. She paid in cash before Emma could even offer.

"You don't always have to do that" Emma said

"Do what?" Regina asked, standing to leave

"Pay for everything. I don't need you to take care of me" she said

"Clearly" Regina said, glancing at Luke who was still at the bar.

Emma was glad she had actually struck a nerve with her. So collected and proper all the time, she was pleased she reacted to something at least.

"I want to go to the club" Emma said, pulling Regina off her course for the exit and towards the door to the underground passageway. Regina went, reluctantly. She couldn’t imagine wanting to do anything less.

Emma ordered a cocktail and turned to Regina. The music would have been great, if Regina had felt like dancing in a room full of strangers who we're looking at her at Emma like fresh meat.

"Whisky?" Regina asked. The bartender listed the ones they had and Regina picked the one that sounded the least terrible.

When it came, she drank and it burned satisfyingly on the way down. It got that right at least.

The music was too loud for them to talk. Emma drank her cocktail quickly and headed for the dance floor without asking Regina to join her.

Regina stayed at the bar and watched her. The dance floor swallowed her up immediately. She shone in the centre like a flame that attracted moths.

Regina set her jaw as she watched Emma let people dance with her. She let them touch her and talk to her, leaning in, talking into her ear. She let them think they were in with a chance. 'Maybe they are' Regina said, considering leaving.

She sank the last of her drink and felt the heat of it crackle through her chest.

 

Emma couldn't focus on any one thing. She loved the music and it was loud enough to drown out her thoughts. She was surrounded by dancing people, some of them were beautiful, some of them wanted to dance with her. 

She didn't pay much attention, she let her mind go blank and think only about the music. She felt someone dancing behind her and turned. A man with, she noticed, excellent hair smiled at her and she smiled back. He danced closer and she let him. She glanced back to the bar but couldn't see Regina. Her heart sank a little and she was less interested with Good Hair.

She kept dancing with everyone else around her. She tried to forget, but the harder she tried the more she remembered. A new song came on, it was catchy and light sounding but Emma noticed eventually that the lyrics were pretty filthy. She smiled as she identified some of them.

She felt someone behind her again, but they were much closer than the last time. She turned to see Regina, whose hands slid over her hips and down her thighs. Emma fell into her slightly and found Regina held her firmly. Maybe she was a bit drunk. She turned her back on Regina again and pressed herself against her as she danced. She felt Regina respond, her hand was on her hip and pressed Emma back into her. They moved together like this for a while, then Regina turned Emma around. Emma put her arms around Regina's neck and sang the lyrics she had picked up to her.

Regina watched her mouth and her lips parted slightly in surprise and anticipation. Emma pressed her body against Regina's. She reacted by rolling into her.

Their noses were almost touching. Regina could feel Emma’s breath on her skin and her heart rate increasing. The world around them seemed to blur into a mess of bodies, shapes and colours that had no meaning.

People made space around them as they watched. They existed in they own impenetrable space.

Regina was still so angry and she hated the relief that came with the touch if Emma's skin on hers. The energy between them was electric. Regina ached to kiss her, to bite her skin but she didn't, she wanted to make Emma beg for it.

 

Emma's yearning for Regina was reaching paramount. She was drawing out kissing her until she couldn't stand it any longer. Regina's hands slid down her back and pushed Emma into her. She almost groaned but she held it in.

This was it. She took Regina's hand and dragged her off the dance floor. In seconds they were out of the club and in a taxi that appeared as Emma wolf whistled down the street. The taxi flew through the streets and Emma's lips found Regina's. They were not wearing seatbelts and slid and rocked with every bump and turn in the road.

Emma's hand slid up Regina's thigh but she pushed it back. Her teeth were at her neck, she wanted to tear away her dress. She imagined what she wore underneath and her fingernails scratched down the fabric.

They slammed through Emma's apartment door. It closed somewhere behind them but they were oblivious. They were against a wall, then on the floor. Emma rolled on top of Regina and she pushed her back.

They struggled and fought, kissed fiercely and desperately held each other down.

Emma got Regina's dress off and her imagination had not done her justice. She sat back for a moment to appreciate the woman who lay in front of her. She slid her hands up Regina's legs, over her lace, up her sides. She came up to kiss her and Regina pushed her forcefully off her over onto her side.

Love and want, lust and resentment twisted into a single fearsome energy in Regina. She had reached the end of her patience with Emma, her behaviour, her situation.

Emma propped herself up on her elbows, still in her dress though her shoes had been lost along the way. She looked up at Regina in her black heels, black underwear and virtually black lipstick. Emma’s mouth fell open.

The woman who stood over her looked nothing like the Regina she knew. The look in her eyes, the way she stood, hands on hips; Emma felt power emanate from her.

"Miss Swan" Regina’s deep voice dripped with venom "you may have grown up in this impotent world, but in my realm you kneel before the queen"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! I hope you like it.

"Do you think she forgot?" Henry asked. He was sprawled across Regina's neatly made bed with a comic book.

"It's possible" Regina said "she did...have a good time last night" Regina said, positively cringing at the idea of Henry finding out about his birth mother’s behaviour. She didn’t want him to feel like he had been forgotten, but she also wasn’t going to start defending behaviour she considered indefensible. Especially when it wasn’t hers.

Regina stood in her bathroom, taking time to arrange her toiletry bag. All of her movements were controlled and deliberate. If she was going to be back in that hell-hole she would at least have the things she liked.

"Does this mean I have to go to school tomorrow?" Henry called from the other room.

He didn't sound phased by Emma's non-appearance but Regina suspected he was putting on a brave face. 

"I've already told the school we're leaving so there doesn't seem to be much point." She said.

"Yesssss!" She heard him say and smiled. She walked back into the bedroom and stood at the door.

She could see Henry wasn't really reading, he just had the book open. He strained to listen to every sound outside and when it wasn't Emma, he went back to pretending to read.

Regina walked into the room and he turned the page of his book convincingly.

 

It was two more agonizing days before they heard from Emma. Regina had called but there was no answer. She considered phoning Harper but thought better of it. Henry had been anxious at first and then just quiet, having decided Emma was not coming back. Regina tried everything to comfort him, but the pain of being abandoned by his birth mother for the second time was not a pain she could fix.

Regina felt she should have been relieved. Her obligation to return to Storybrooke was void. Her relationship (if she could even call it that) with Emma Swan had been a beautiful, terrifying but ultimately doomed rollercoaster. 

She reasoned her away until she reached the only place in the world she would let herself cry. In the shower in her locked bathroom, behind the locked door of her bedroom she felt safe enough to admit to herself that she would rather face Hell with Emma, than the rest of the world without her. Only in the camouflage of water that washed over her did she permit her indiscernible tears.

Regina sat in her office answering emails from James when she heard front door open. She stopped typing to listen. If it was Henry she would have heard him throw all of his belongings into a pile on the floor, but there was no thud. The only other person who had a key was Emma, now that Bourneville was gone. 

Regina continued typing. She heard boots on the tiled floor and then the squeak of door hinges.

"Hi" Emma said, peering around the door.

Regina stopped typing. She took her glasses off and turned slowly to Emma.

She held her hands in front of her and looked sheepishly around the room and at Regina.

"Nice office" she said. Regina didn't respond but looked at her pointedly.

"I'm sorry I stood you up" Emma said.

"I don't care that you stood me up, Emma. I don't care if I never see Storybrooke again. In fact that would make me happy." She rose from her chair "but if you ever do this to Henry again, you'll be out of his life so fast, you won’t have time to be sorry"

Emma held her gaze.

“You can’t-“ she started

“Yes I can” Regina cut her off. They stood facing each other down for a moment. The silence seemed to beat against their eardrums.

"He'll understand" Emma said quietly

"He shouldn't have to" Regina practically snarled. Emma set her jaw, not having received a telling off for quite a number of years.

"I got scared. I just found my kid again and I wasn't ready. I'm his mother." She said

"Let me make this clear" Regina said, her voice rumbling threateningly as she took another step towards Emma "I have changed every diaper, soothed every fever and endured every tantrum for twelve years. I am his mother.”

Emma looked away. Everything Regina said was true, it scrambled her thoughts until she couldn’t remember the arguments she had lined up in her head.

Regina continued “You come here when he's practically a young man, reasonable, sensitive, and thoughtful and it is too much for you to show up when you say you will? This scared you away?"

Emma dragged her eyes back to Regina’s.

"Regina, I-" she started

"Don't do it again" Regina said, passing Emma and leaving her standing in the office.

Regina went to the downstairs bathroom and closed the door. She took a deep breath and looked at her hands. They looked normal but they burned with the sensation of dark magic, it wanted to get out, it wanted to set things on fire.

"Come on" she whispered to herself "not here, not now" she breathed deeply and closed her eyes.

She washed her hands. The cold water was warm when it dripped from her skin to the porcelain dish. She dried them and leant on the counter with her head down.

"Come on" she said quietly to herself again, keeping her magic at bay with her will that seemed to be just about strong enough.

She couldn't remember being this angry with anyone for a long time. All she could see was Henry's hopeful face each morning and the disappointment he tried to hide from her when he went to bed each night.

She looked up into the mirror. She could have sworn she saw the corner of her reflection's mouth curl.

"No" she said to it. "I created this life without magic. I am in control of this." She spoke with a firm, authoritative voice that did not waver. When she was satisfied that the reflection was behaving, she turned her back and left the bathroom.

The reflection stayed in the mirror and smiled wickedly back at nothing. It copied Regina's movements with exact precision in it's backwards world and left the bathroom too.

Emma seemed to have been pacing when Regina walked into the kitchen.

"Regina I'm-" Emma started, she paused seeing the hard look on her face. She had seen this before. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Emma" Regina said, her face was a mask, inscrutable to anyone else but Emma who had been on the receiving end of this before.

"Where is Henry? I want to explain to him why-"

"Why you built his hopes up and left him?" Regina cut in

"Kids are resilient-" Emma tried

"Well you would know" Regina snapped. She turned her back to Emma under the pretence of pouring wine, but while she held a bottle, label up, pretending to read it her brow furrowed and she closed her eyes. She felt Emma's hurt silence cut into her like a knife.

She poured herself a glass that she didn't want, drew in a breath and turned to Emma.

"Let's be honest about this Emma, our entire...time together" she said, purposely avoiding the word 'relationship'. "Has been about physical attraction. Nothing more" she sipped her wine though it tasted bitter.

Emma searched Regina's eyes.

"That's not true" she said

Regina frowned. She felt a rush at Emma's conviction, though her expression remained equal parts boredom and inconvenience.

"Really?" She said flatly, sipping her wine again.

"Yeah" Emma replied, smiling incredulously. She leant back on the counter and spread her arms wide to lean on.

"I would never have met Henry if you didn't think this could be something" she said, with such an air of triumph that Regina's blood boiled.

"That's true, I did introduce you to Henry to keep you in my life. Because it was convenient for me, because I could see that you weren't a threat to him, because I was having fun and I wanted it to continue." She suppressed the smile that tried to shine out of her. "Not because this is..." She shrugged "special?"

"You're lying" Emma said in the each same way Henry would when she lied to him. Regina didn't react.

"You're good" Emma conceded "but not good enough. You're lying. This is not just about sex. You're pushing me away and I understand why"

Regina began to interrupt but Emma wasn’t done.

"You are, I know, I could teach Pushing People Away 101" Emma spoke over her

There was quiet while Regina regrouped. Emma continued.

"I always wished when I pushed people away that they had persevered just a little longer. I'm not going to let you push me away." Emma said stubbornly.

"You won't let me?" Regina asked, mildly amused

"No I won't." Emma said

"What do you think is going to happen when I get bored of this? I'm not stringing you along Emma, there's nothing here." Regina lied again and felt a guilty crunch in her stomach.

"Whatever" Emma closed her eyes and shrugged "I'm sticking around. When you're ready to accept what this really is, I'll be here"

"I don't want you here!" Regina put her wineglass down

"That's crap!" Emma said

"Look” Regina was getting impatient. It was painful to keep denying her real feelings and Emma seemed to see right through it anyway. “This is fun and I…enjoy our time together” Emma raised an eyebrow, Regina almost smiled knowing they were both remembering their last encounter.

“And I owe you” she continued stoically. “I will take you to Storybrooke, but don’t kid yourself into thinking this is more than just fun for me" Regina drank more wine and swallowed the lump in her throat with it.

Emma looked at her for a long time. Regina felt like she was being taken apart, like she was completely exposed. It took all her self restraint not to start fixing her appearance.

“I really am sorry, Regina” Emma said after what felt like forever.

“I panicked. It was just so sudden. Parents. Kid. My girlfriend has magic powers an she cursed a bunch of people.” She hesitated “I mean, I thought you were my girlfriend. But you’re not?” she squinted as she said it.

“I think I might be too old to be anyone’s girlfriend” Regina said. Emma looked down and nodded. “Maybe we can come up with something more fitting” Regina added quickly, unable to let Emma visibly hurt in front of her.

Emma twisted a ring on her finger.

“What do you call your girlfriend in the forest?” Emma asked

“The Enchanted Forest?” Regina said. She thought for a moment “Companion, beloved...” her lip curled slightly “sweetheart?”

Emma laughed. “Are we sweethearts?” 

Regina sighed and crossed her arms.

“I know you haven’t cared about anyone but Henry for a long time and that’s scary, believe me I get it. I’ve had my heart broken too.” Emma said and searched the depths of Regina’s eyes.

“But whatever we are, we’re a team, right? We’re a really good team. Things have been weird and I’m sorry I freaked out but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere”

Regina breathed out. Stubborn, infuriating Emma Swan was standing in her face saying everything she wanted to hear. She just about managed to keep her face straight as her stomach clenched terribly again.

“So…” Emma slid slightly closer to Regina and tugged at the bottom button on her shirt “are you gonna be my girlfriend or sweetheart or…not companion, we’re definitely not old enough for that” Regina laughed.

Emma smiled and let it leave her face slowly as she took in everything about Regina’s reaction. The curve of her smile as it broke on one side before the other and how she bit her lip, no longer able to contain it. 

She looked up at Emma and that was the only cue she needed.

Emma kissed her and the same rush went through her as the first time they kissed in Emma's apartment. She felt like there was a world inside this woman that she wanted to explore. She wanted to know everything about her and she wanted it now. Before she realised what she was doing Emma pushed her back. 

They broke apart and she looked down at Emma as she was now sitting on the counter top. She vaguely remembered Emma lifting her up there. Her hands had pushed up the skirt Regina was now pulling down again.

Regina heard the same thing that had alerted Emma, the sound of Henry getting home.

Emma and Henry talked at the kitchen table. Regina cleaned and tidied things that were already clean and tidy to give the impression that she was not listening.

Her heart fluttered as Emma told Henry how important he was to her. She pushed the feeling down, it wouldn’t last, when they got to Storybrooke this would all be over.


	10. Chapter 10

"This is it" Regina said as they approached a stretch of road that was indistinguishable from any other.

Emma leant over the steering wheel, looked up and around.

"Where is it?" she asked

"I have to open it" Regina said

She got out of the car, closed the door and sighed deeply. She didn't know how long it would take to break into her own curse.

She glanced back at the car. Emma had turned around to check on Henry who was fast asleep. As Regina watched her stretch through the space to reach him she felt reassured.

"How you doing kid?" Emma whispered and stroked his hair.

He didn't stir and she smiled at his innocent, sleeping face. Not for the first time she found herself starting wondering how she could have made something as good as him. She made this little human, or she started him off at least, she had Regina to thank for what a lovely young man he was turning out to be.

Shadows drew quickly across his and she turned around. Light was coming from Regina's outstretched hands and spreading out and up across an invisible barrier.

Emma watched as long as her eyes could stand, then she shielded her them as the car filled up with light. The light was gone as suddenly as it had come. Emma could hardly see anything, the remnants of light scarred her vision. She couldn't see Regina.

She got out of the car and stumbled around it, her eyes slowly clearing of dark blotches that impeded her. The invisible barrier was barely tangible. It looked like thin melting plastic, curling and shrinking away from its burnt edge by itself.

"Oh my god!" Emma said as she noticed Regina on the floor on the other side of the car.

"Regina!" she said as she knelt touched her face.

"Come on Regina, you did it, we can go now, wake up" Emma felt for her pulse and found it.

"Thank god" she breathed out.

She pulled her phone out to call an ambulance. No reception. She knew first aid but something told her it wasn't enough.

Regina's skin was cold. Emma's mind raced through all options ahead of her.

They could turn around and drive back to a town they passed a while ago and hope they had a hospital, but how would she explain what had happened to her?

She could drive ahead and hope there was one closer and that they might understand. Her options had options and she crouched at Regina's side frowning at nothing, her eyes trained on thin air as she scanned through each one.

"Ok" she snapped out of it.

She opened the passenger car door and pulled Regina's body to a sitting position. She knew it was risky to move her, but she didn't have a choice. She lifted under her arms and let her head fall softly back into her chest as she set her down on the car seat.

Regina's shoes scraped the Tarmac. Somewhere in Emma's mind she knew she'd get in trouble for that later.

She lifted Regina's legs carefully into the foot well and clipped her seatbelt on. She closed the door gently and took a few deep breaths.

 

"Henry" Emma reached back and touched his leg while she drove slowly into the town that had been only minutes from the magical border.

He sat up.

"Are we there yet?" He asked, rubbing his eyes

"Yeah" Emma said "your mom opened the...barrier thing, then she passed out so we're going to make sure she's ok before we do anything else" Emma said, glancing at Regina, Henry and the road alternately.

"She what?" He said, sitting forward to check on his mother.

He touched her arm, there was no response.

"She's going to be fine" Emma said, hoping she was right.

She glanced at him again. He sat back and looked out of the window, trying to hide the worry on his face.

Emma ignored the banging in her chest as she strode into Storybrooke General Hospital reception holding unconscious Regina in her arms. Henry followed, running slightly to keep up with her.

"I need some help" she called to anyone who was listening.

"Oh my" the receptionist gasped and her hands flew to her mouth.

"Is that-? No! Who is that?" She heard a chorus of whispers from nearby visitors.

"Madam Mayor?" A young doctor appeared. "This way" she said to Emma and they marched through the waiting room to an almost empty ward.

Emma placed Regina down carefully and the doctor began checking her immediately.

"What happened?" She asked

"Is that the mayor?" Another doctor came over and stared at Regina before looking questioningly at Emma.

"Will you come with me, please?" He asked

"No, I'm not leaving her" Emma replied

"She's not going anywhere" the doctor said with a smirk.

Emma's silence was her reply. He sighed. He looked pointedly at Henry and back at Emma. She got the message.

"Hey kid, go find a coffee machine, will you?" She asked and handed him her wallet. He ran off in the direction of vending machines.

"What happened?" The doctor asked "she has been gone for...well a while" he said. "How do you know her?" He asked now looking Emma up and down.

"She just passed out on the way here, like all the life just went from her. We were outside, just by the car, taking a break from driving and she just passed out. She's my-" Emma stopped herself. She didn't know what she and Regina were, or what people in this town would think. Not that she cared what they thought, but this was Regina's town, she might care.

"Friend" she finished awkwardly "and Henry's her son"

The doctor considered that for a moment. Emma used the brief window in questioning to assess him. 'Young-ish doctor, likes to do his hair, rude to the other doctors, kind of a creep, clean coat, not very busy, recognises when to back off though, confused about how long Regina has been gone for, what does that mean?'

"Of course, Henry!" He said "well if you're not next of kin-"

"I am" Emma interrupted before he could send her away. "I'm Henry's birth mother so we're related" she knew she was clutching at straws. She lined up further arguments in her head just in case.

The doctor looked over at Regina and back at Emma. Emma couldn't quite discern what his smug smile meant, though she guessed it was probably lewd and gross. If she wasn't skating on such thin ice she would have dressed him down for it, but she kept her mouth shut.

"And your name is?" He asked

"Why don't we start with your name?" Emma asked.

"Oh" surprise replaced smugness on his face and he held out his hand. "Dr Whale"

"Emma Swan" she shook his hand firmly.

Emma and Henry spent their first night in Storybrooke sitting on their beds in a room at Granny's B&B. They ate lasagne from take-out boxes

"Am I going to go to school here?" Henry asked

"I don't know, kid. Your mom might have meant to enrol you" Emma replied and slurped her lemonade.

The realities of living in this weird town were starting to sink it. One step at a time, she told herself.

"Well I don't want to get behind. Can you enrol me?" He asked

She didn't know. She wasn't his legal guardian but she was kind of the closest thing he had to one at this point. She didn't want to step on Regina's toes either.

"I'll tell you what. We'll go by the hospital first thing tomorrow morning and then take you to school" she said

"And breakfast?" He asked.

Emma looked around the room for a fridge, coffee machine or anything to cook on. There was nothing.

"Granny's" she said and he smiled

 

When they arrived at the hospital the sheriff was talking with Dr Whale. He introduced himself and shook her hand. He shook Henry's hand too which she thought was cute. He seemed quite serious, though he was young, her age maybe.

"You're not in trouble" he said, there was an interesting lilt to his accent.

"I know" Emma replied "no crimes have been committed"

"Assault?" He asked

Emma bristled and Henry put his hand in hers

"It wouldn't be a huge leap to make" he said though not threateningly. He said it flatly, indifferently, like he didn't believe it himself but had to ask.

"She wasn't assaulted" Emma said "I told you. She passed out on the way here"

"Right, there are no witnesses either way. What were you coming here for? Where had the mayor been? She's been gone for...a while" he said.

Emma noted the same confusion that had been in the doctors eyes the day before.

"Look, we just came to see how she is. I have to take my kid to school" she said

Henry squeezed her hand. She realised suddenly this was the first time she'd called him hers, and he knew it.

"Let me give you a lift" he said

"In your cop car? No thank you" Emma said.

His brow furrowed slightly.

"I don't want to show up at the school to enrol Henry in a police car. People might get the wrong idea" she said.

He nodded and the corner of his mouth twitched at what could have been a hint of a smile.

"You can walk us there though" she said, and he did.

As they walked he pointed out various town landmarks. The diner, the pawn shop, the chemist, the garage. It was a small town but it had everything they needed.

Emma didn't understand where the fairytales characters fitted into all this. Was everyone in the town supposed to be one or were there just a few? Who were they? Why hadn't Regina prepared them for this? But she knew why. Regina had expected to be here with them, to help them, to help everyone.

Emma knocked on the classroom door.

"Come in" the reply came.

Emma entered a classroom of children painting birdhouses.

"Hi" Emma said to the teacher "this is Henry Mills, he's starting here today"

"Henry Mills" the teacher said vacantly, as if she was trying to find a memory that wasn't there "of course, welcome back to class, Henry" she motioned where he could sit.

He looked up and Emma and she smiled at him. He was off. He let go of her hand and she felt her stomach flutter.

"Remember class, you're making a home for these creatures" she said before making her way over to Emma.

"I'm Mary Margaret Blanchard" she said, Emma shook her hand.

"Emma Swan" she replied.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret asked and looked at Emma like she knew her for a moment. After a pause she added "that's a nice name" and her placid expression returned.

Emma made her way back to the hospital. As she walked she couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness, that everything around her was hollow, like if she walked far enough she'd find the end of the set and the backdrops would be fake, like The Truman Show. She sat on a bench along a nice but ordinary path, and called Max.

"Well it's been what, two days and you need your big bro already? How are you?" His deep, reassuring voice answered

"Well for one, I'm older than you" she started "and for two, not that great" she hadn't realised until he had asked her how 'not that great' she was feeling.

She was alone in this weird town where everyone was friendly but wary too. She told him about the sheriff and the doctor and the teacher, leaving out the odd details that could arouse suspicion.

"That sounds really hard. She didn't tell you your parents names before she passed out?" He asked

"Nope" Emma replied, she wondered what she would do with them here anyway. Would she want them to know who she was?

"And they have no idea what caused it?" He asked.

"Caused what?" Emma asked, jumping, like she might have accidentally said something about the curse.

"Regina's...condition. I hope she's ok" he said

"Oh no. Well I'm outside the hospital now so I'll see if there's any news. I guess they'll run some tests" she said

"Keep in touch." Max said "love you"

"Love you too" she said and hung up.

Speaking to her brother had reassured her, though she sank back to feeling awful when she learned nothing new at the hospital. Regina hadn't gotten any worse but she hadn't got better either. She went down to Granny's.

"You look like you need some coffee" Ruby said, putting a steaming cup down in front of Emma.

"Thanks" Emma said.

She looked at Ruby who nodded at some people who had just entered the diner. She wondered if she should ask her about the town, about how long Regina had been gone.

'If she was a fairytale character, who would she be?' Emma wondered. Ruby looked back at her and caught the end of her curious gaze.

"So, new girl" Ruby said, leaning on the counter "Henry in school now?" she asked

"Yeah" Emma said "I'm not really sure what to do with myself" she took the coffee

"Want a job at the diner?" Ruby asked quietly

"I heard that" Granny shouted from somewhere nearby.

Ruby rolled her eyes. Emma smiled at her.

"Have you had a look around the town?" Ruby asked

"Yeah Graham gave me a tour this morning" Emma said and sipped the coffee which was surprisingly good.

"Uh huh" Ruby said, eyeing her knowingly

"What?" Emma asked. "I know what that look means but you're wrong" Emma told Ruby, though a smile crept out as she said it.

"You're a terrible liar" Ruby said, hitting her with the cloth she held and turning to serve some new customers.

"I'm an excellent liar" Emma protested.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a really long time to get to, but I did a bunch of writing this weekend so hopefully the next update will be quicker! Thanks for the comments and kudos! <3

Henry enjoyed school but he missed his friends. Emma took him to see Regina every night though nothing changed. She grew more and more worried as time went on and she could see the same was true of Henry.

He didn't have his mother, his home, his stuff around him. The people of the town welcomed him with open arms, though. Granny seemed on a mission to fatten him up, even Mr Gold toned down his scariness for him.

Emma asked around about apartments and found a loft in the same building as Mary Margaret.

She seemed lonely too but it was a different kind. She seemed like a part of her was missing. Everyone in this town kind of seemed like that, but Mary Margaret especially so.

"What you got there, kid?" Emma asked, locking their apartment door behind them.

"Miss Blanchard gave me a book" he said pulling it from his school bag.

"Could she have given you a bigger one?" She asked, watching him lug it up the stairs.

"Night Emma" he said and she heard his door close.

She sighed and looked around the apartment. It had everything they needed but it wasn't home. She looked out of the window at the town. She missed her view of the city. She missed her life and her friends. She closed her eyes and leant her head against the cold glass.

She thought about how Regina had stood at her window trying not to be too impressed by the view. She thought of the neon signs that reflected in her dark eyes as they walked through Chinatown that night. She thought of the touch of her skin and how they curled around each other at night. How when Regina wanted to be let go, she kissed Emma's arm before moving it like a little peace offering.

That dragging feeling returned. She opened her eyes again. It was all so far away, like another lifetime.

She thought about calling Harper but she didn't want to worry him. She also got the sense he thought she had made a mistake going there, and didn't want to have that conversation. He might be right, and she couldn't think about that.

She sighed again and crossed the room, flicked the lights off and went to bed.

 

The days passed quickly and soon they had been there for two weeks already.

"I'm lost, Max, I don't know what I'm doing here" Emma said as she paced her room.

"How many times have you just set up somewhere completely new? Why is this place any different?" He asked

"I don't think I have ever done that somewhere like this, I mean this is small for a small town! Everyone knows everything about everyone. I feel like there's no room to reinvent myself here. Plus I've got Henry, somehow I'm responsible for him. Sometimes he seems more grown up than I am"

Her head rested in her free hand as she leant on the balcony of her room, which looked out at the woods.

"And Regina?" Harper asked

"No change" Emma said. She rubbed her forehead. "How did I get here, Max?"

"You followed your instincts, as usual." He replied "you're there for a reason, Emma"

She sighed. She knew that, but she had never imagined being here without Regina.

"What if she wakes up tomorrow?" He asked

She looked out at the moon rising over the trees.

"I don't know" she said "things might actually be ok. She knows who my parents are for a start" though that was no longer her primary concern.

Getting Regina back at all was the thought that filled her mind all day long, interspersed with panics about making sure Henry was ok, then she might think about her parents and lastly herself.

"Have you met anyone you would consider friend material?" He asked.

Emma could hear him brushing his teeth on the other end if the line.

"I think so. There's a woman who works at the diner who is cool, and the school teacher who lives downstairs, I like her a lot. She's kind of a dork but really sweet."

"Mmhmm" Harper replied, presumably with a mouth full of toothpaste.

"And the sheriff" Emma started though she wasn't sure what, if anything, she should say about him.

She heard Harper stop brushing and spit.

"Yeah?" He asked

"Yeah" Emma said, though it came out as a long, unsure sound.

"What are they like?" He asked

"He's kind of...aloof, but he's really nice once you've broken through that. He seems like a bit of a tortured soul to be honest"

"Ah, I know the type." Harper replied "Would the sheriff have access to documentation about your parents?"

Emma paused. "That's a good question" she said. How had she not thought about that before?

"Thank you" he replied "and the sheriff may be able to access the mayor's office, if the records aren't with him, they might be there"

"You're a small town criminal mastermind" Emma said

"Thank you, I'll add it to my resume" he laughed.

"How are you? How are things with your lovely wife?" She asked after a pause

"Things are going pretty good" she could hear him smiling

"I'm happy for you, Max. I'm proud of you" she said

"Thanks" he replied "you know, even when things were hard and I didn't know what I wanted and she didn't know if I was worth the trouble, there was always something tying us together that we didn't understand. And that's not enough to base a relationship on, but it was something" he said.

Emma listened and smiled.

"I'm really happy for both of you, Max. If I'm about to become an aunty at any point, you let me know and I will be back before you can say 'we're painting the nursery gender neutral colours'"

Harpers laugh boomed down the line and her heart lifted a little.

"Ok" he said "let me know if anything happens with the sheriff" he said

"And the birth records?" She asked

"Sure" he said "love you, kid"

"Hey, I'm older than you. Love you too"

Emma stared out across the forest for a while longer. The last slivers of orange light caught the tops of the trees.

"Regina" Emma said quietly to herself, or maybe to the forest, or maybe to anyone who was listening.

"Come back"

 

"Sheriff" Emma said as she entered the modest office.

"Hello" he replied with a rare smile.

"I've come to enquire about the position of deputy" she said, putting a cup of coffee down in front of him that may or may not have been a bribe.

"I didn't advertise one" he replied, looking at the coffee with a frown

"Then there won't be too much competition" she smiled at him.

Emma left the station after a couple of hours of intense grilling from the sheriff, with the promise of the deputy badge and a smile on her face.

"What do you look so pleased about?" Henry asked when she got home

"I actually achieved something today" she said

"You found your parents?" He asked

"No, but I'm a step closer" she smiled and opened the fridge to find something to cook them for dinner.

He hummed and she turned to look at him.

"What's up?" she asked

"I don't know if you're ready to hear it" he said.

That caught her attention. A hundred different problems a child might have suddenly came to mind. She closed the fridge and leant on the counter beside him ready to listen.

"I think I found your parents" he said

"Are you serious?" She asked, though she knew he was she couldn't help it tumbling from her mouth. She was relieved it wasn't about him. Answers for bullying, schoolwork and awkward questions about puberty all slunk out of her mind.

"Yeah, but you're not going to believe me when I tell you who they are" he said, curling up the corner of the pages.

Emma's brow wrinkled.

"You don't have to tell me now if you're not sure" she said, not sure if she even wanted to know "How did you find them?"

"That's the other thing. They're in the book" he said.

Emma stared at him for a moment. He was being completely serious.

"They are in your book? The one Miss Blanchard gave you?" she asked

"Yeah, and so are you" he said with a squint, like this would be the moment she gave up on the whole thing, but she didn't move.

"I'm in your book?" she asked

He flicked through the pages until he found a story about Snow White and Prince Charming putting a baby in a wardrobe. Emma recognised the basics of the story from what Regina had told her of how the curse came about. It was pretty coincidental that Henry's book had a similar story.

"So I'm the baby?" she asked

"The saviour" Henry said, encouraged by how seriously she was taking him

"The saviour?" she asked

"You're going to break the Evil Queen's curse" he said

"The Evil Queen?" Emma asked

Henry looked away from her

"My mom" he said

She stared at the side of his face. She knew Regina had done some bad things, but she was hardly evil, was she?

"Do you think you might be taking this book a bit literally?" she asked him "a lot of the time stories are about one thing, but they're meant to be interpreted in a way that makes them relevant to the real world"

He didn't respond.

"You've read Harry Potter, right?" she asked.

She knew he had because she had seen them on a shelf in his bedroom at Regina's house. The spines were cracked and peeling.

He rolled his eyes "obviously"

"Right" she said, settling in because she could get a lot of mileage out of those books "there's a lot of stuff in them about like blood purity and stuff, but we don't have that in the real world, so do you think it could be a metaphor for another kind of prejudice?"

His eyebrows knitted.

"Do you know what a metaphor is?" she asked

"Yeah, but I don't know what you mean" he replied

"Ok well in the magical world they have blood status, it creates a divide between people but they're no better than muggle-borns, are they?" she asked

"No, Hermione is better than all of them!" He said

"I agree" she smiled "but we don't have blood status here, maybe it's a metaphor for prejudice that we do have here, like racism"

She thought this might go over his head. Regina's voice presented itself in her mind. _He's a middle class, white twelve-year-old boy Emma, how much social injustice do you think he has experienced?_

"It's ok if you don't get it right away, it's hard to think about this stuff" Emma said

"I think I do" he said "but the book isn't like that"

She could argue. Fairytale knights could just be good people in the real world. Evil Queens could just be women in trouble. Dwarves could be, well, it was pretty late in the evening to get into all the things the dwarves could represent. Henry disagreed, so she dropped it.

"Ok" she said "so if this is me, my parents are Snow White and Prince Charming?" she asked

"Yeah" he said, though his voice was deflated "I knew you wouldn't believe me"

He slid off the stool and sloped up to his room.

"Henry!" Emma said "I didn't say that, it's just a lot to take in"

"Yeah" he said over his shoulder

"I'll call you when dinner's ready" she said, in a final attempt to reengage him.

His door closed.

 

"Emma" Mary Margaret caught up to her in the stairwell

"Oh hey" Emma said, reluctantly slowing down.

"I haven't seen you in ages, have you been busy?" She asked

"Yeah, well, you know, new job" she pointed to the badge on her belt

"Of course! Congratulations!" she threw a hug around her and Emma's heart leapt.

She was too surprised to hug her back and before she knew it, it was over.

Emma stared at her for a moment. This was the first time she had really interacted with the woman Henry believed to be her mother.

"You ok?" Mary Margaret asked and jolted Emma back to the present

"Yes" Emma said "how are things with you? Henry being good in class?"

They walked down the rest of the steps together

"Of course" she smiled brightly "he is quiet though" she said "that's why I gave him that book"

"Yeah where did you get it from?" Emma asked

Cloudy confusion passed over the other woman.

"I don't know" she said "I didn't know I had it. But Henry seems to like it!" she said, smiling again.

"Yeah" Emma said "he has some strange ideas about it"

"Oh I know, I've heard some of them" Mary Margaret smiled "I think he just needs a world to escape into, you know? Like he needs something external"

"Do you think he needs to talk to someone external?" Emma asked, thinking of Dr Hopper

"Well he's always welcome to" Mary Margaret replied, assuming Emma was talking her.

Emma didn't correct her. Mary Margaret walked ahead and opened the building door. Henry had already rushed down and was waiting by Emma's car talking to the sheriff.

"Graham, hi. Er, what are you doing here?" Emma asked

"I was just passing" he said.

Henry rolled his eyes and got in the car. He was getting used to the way people spoke to Emma. Most people here were nice to her, but a few were "gross" he told her, which she believed meant he knew they were hitting on her. Graham was obviously one of them.

"Just passing with coffee and breakfast?" Emma asked, eyeing the cups balanced precariously on the roof of her car.

"I forgot you'd be taking Henry to school. Why don't you let Miss Blanchard do it?" He asked

"Because I barely see him enough as it is, it's not a chore" she said, annoyed but she couldn't put her finger on why.

She opened the car door. And he stepped away from the vehicle.

"Do you want your coffee at least?" he asked

"Thank you" she took it and closed her door.

"Can you hold this for me?" she passed it to Henry so she could put on her seatbelt.

"You couldn't have got the bagels too?" He asked with a grin.

Emma smiled out of the corner of her eye at him. _Cheeky little guy._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short one, but something bigger is coming!

Emma felt gentle kisses at her neck that travelled down to her shoulder.

“Good morning” Regina said gently.

Emma smiled without opening her eyes and shuffled back to feel the warmth of Regina’s skin against hers. She felt a soft hand slide over her waist, hip and thigh. She rubbed her back, bum, stomach and legs as she kissed her neck.

“Anyone would think you want something” Emma said drowsily, enjoying the sensation. 

Regina’s hand slipped up to her chest, squeezed her breast and gently brushed her thumb over her nipple. Emma shivered. 

“I don’t want anything” Regina replied “I want to give you something” 

Her hand slid achingly slowly down Emma’s stomach. She bit gently at her ear and licked it, giving Emma goosebumps all the way down her body.

Regina’s fingertips barely brushed her labia and a thrill ran tingling through her. She felt Regina smile against her skin and tease her again by barely touching her. The effect was incredible. She wanted to feel Regina inside her. Fingers crept down and parted her lips when-

A screaming alarm jolted Emma awake. She swiped across her phone and looked behind her. No Regina, it was a dream. She was still in Storybrooke, still alone. She dropped back into the pillows. Fuck.

She was wet too, she could feel it.

“Fuck it” she said quietly to no one. She would take matters into her own hands, literally.

She rubbed herself in circles, but it wasn’t the same. She was too hot so she pulled her sheet down. Her cheeks burned and she felt sticky, not in a sexy way. 

She thought of all the things that usually turned her on. Regina in her lacy underwear, matter of fact, no underwear at all. She thought about the time she went down on her in her big fancy office. That helped. The way Regina had writhed in the chair, he fingernails digging into the leather, how she bit her lip to keep herself quiet.

Emma had almost lifted her whole body off the bed when she finally managed to climax. She began to shake and felt tension release. Even with Regina’s help it was hard work. She was not really satisfied.

Her second alarm went off.

“All-fucking-right” she said to it, swiping again. 

 

 

“It’s not a date” she told Ruby

“Uh-huh” she said “is that why you look so dressed up, for your not-date with the sheriff?”

“I’m not dressed up” Emma dismissed, though she had spent some time on what to wear.

“Oh yeah? You’ve been here like 3 months and I’ve never seen you look like this. What is it? Like…” she drew closer and lowered her voice “…a budget meeting?” she raised an eyebrow

“Fuck off, Ruby” Emma said 

She had been in the worst mood all day. Yes it had been three months almost to the day. She hadn’t gone this long without getting any for a long time, and this morning’s activities had left her feeling pretty fucking crappy. 

She dressed up for herself, to try and lift her mood. If she dressed how she felt she would be sat there in sweatpants.

Ruby laughed and the doorbell jingled, she knew it was him.

It wasn’t a date, right? They were just friends getting food and talking. And drinking. She realised she also hadn’t drunk anything in a while, with Henry to look after. One glass of wine went to her head and she switched to water. 

He was charming. She knew he liked her, maybe she had known it was a date. Maybe that was what she needed. She felt like she didn’t know anything anymore.

After dinner they walked along the harbour. It was pretty at night, she liked the peace of it. It also reminded her that there was a world outside of Storybrooke, something that was easily forgotten.

Graham was lovely. He made awkward jokes to make her smile then joked about how awkward they were, which made her laugh. She hadn’t laughed properly in a long time. She let it stay on her face as she turned to him. His brown eyes seemed to shine a little bit watching her. She felt ok. She felt nice. 

Graham leant in to kiss her. Her lips reacted before she could think. His mouth felt strange against hers. He was gentle but his whiskers grazed her skin. Her response was automatic, returning the pressure.

She felt her loneliness recede for just a moment but she felt something else too, deep and gnawing. She broke away.

"No" she said

“What?” He asked “did I do something?”

“No” she said, leaning back quickly.

"But you kissed me back" he said in confusion

"I'm sorry" Emma said. 

She looked into his face. She couldn't tell if he was hurt, his handsome face was torn with confusion.

She could have him if she wanted, she had no doubt she would enjoy it, but some silent alarm told her no.

His arm slid from around her as she rose and walked quickly away.

 

"Hello" Mary Margaret said on seeing Emma at her door

"Can I come in?" She asked

"Yeah, Henry's asleep on the couch. You look amazing. Are you ok?" She asked as Emma passed her.

"Yeah" Emma replied "kind of. Thank you."

"I'm making hot chocolate, you want one?" Mary Margaret asked, watching Emma rub her arms and pace by the door.

"Sure" Emma replied.

She sat at the table and waited for another question from Mary Margaret, though it didn't come until there was a hot mug of cocoa in front of her.

"Cinnamon?" Emma asked, noticing the comforting spicy smell.

"Oh sorry, that's how I like it, I forgot to ask" she said

"That's how I like it too" Emma smiled at the little connection they shared

"You obviously have excellent taste" Mary Margaret smiled back

Emma took a deep sip and licked the cream off her lip before she looked up at her host again.

"He kissed me" she said quietly

"Oh wow!" Mary Margaret exclaimed and sat forward in excitement "how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know." She replied "it was nice, but I feel awful"

Mary Margaret hummed in understanding.

"Because of Mayor Mills?" Mary Margaret asked

Emma was thrown for a moment but recovered quickly.

"Did Henry tell you?" she asked

"No Emma, come on. Do you think he wants to talk to his teacher about who his mom is dating?" She smiled

Emma tipped her head to the side in concession.

"It's not just that you turned up carrying her in your arms announcing you're the mother of her child and refusing to leave her side, although that is pretty-"

"I wasn't announcing it! I was fighting Whale to even be allowed visitation!" Emma interrupted. “God he’s such a creep”

"Fine. You visit her every day. You get this look when you talk about her, your date kissed you and you're upset about it. Are you honestly going to tell me you're not head over heels in love with the mayor of this town?" Mary Margaret sat back with satisfaction.

Emma's lip trembled.

"Oh honey!" Mary Margaret reached across and put her hand in hers. It was comforting. Emma looked into her eyes.

Could she really be her mother?

"She'll wake up" Mary Margaret said "she's kind of a hardass, I don't know if you've noticed. You think Regina Mills is going to let a little coma get the better of her? I don't think so"

Emma smiled at that. Sounds about right, she thought.

"Does he know?" Mary Margaret asked

"I don't think so, but then I didn't think you did either" Emma said

"Well, we’re friends, right?" she reassured 

“Right” Emma said, though it didn’t seem quite right.

 

 

"So Deputy Swan, how was your not-date?" Ruby asked

"Two drips to go" Emma said and put her money on the counter

"Ooh!" Ruby replied lasciviously

"I'm walking to the station. Alone" she said

"Oh" Ruby said with a look of pure devastation.

"So what happened? I've always liked Graham. I don't know. I get a vibe off him. How did it go?" she said absent-mindedly as she filled two cups for Emma.

"It was really nice" Emma replied honestly "he's easy to talk to and pretty cute when he wants to be. He seems so sad though"

"Yeah, like he's looking for something he's lost?" Ruby asked putting the cups down.

"Yeah" Emma replied, _you all kind of seem like that but him especially_ she thought.

"So why are you stalling here?" Ruby asked

"I'm nervous I guess. I don't know what I want." She replied thinking of Regina. 

She did know what she wanted but she had wanted it for 3 months and nothing had changed. Ruby squeezed her arm and went to serve some new customers.

Emma walked with purpose, it helped clear her mind. Looking like she knew what she was doing might help her actually figure it out.

"So" Emma said, placing two coffee cups on Graham's desk

"I brought apology coffee. I think we need to talk" she said.

There was an awkward silence as he eyed her up, half amused, half resistant.

"I agree" he said eventually and took the cup.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been longer than planned for this update! This chapter is a little bitty but it's kind of intentional of reflect Regina's state of mind/perception etc. I hope you like it!
> 
> (Also, accidental Swan Town?)

Regina's eyes opened slowly and saw pink striations across the blue morning sky. Pine trees punctured the horizon and for a moment she could have been anywhere. She was content just to watch.

Sounds slowly came to her. People talking, beeps of machines, scratching pens. She turned her head slowly and with difficulty. Glass, white coats, the hospital. _Storybrooke_

She tried to think of the names that went with the faces she distantly recognised as they bobbed past her, unaware of her consciousness. She tried to bring back what she was doing there. The last thing she remembered seemed so long ago. It was Emma's smile, then pain, then something she could barely describe. She closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of cars rumbling over her, the wind that brushed through the trees had brushed through her, she remembered falling with the rain on the roofs of the town. 

_But when was that?_ She had no sense of time. 

She tried to push herself up to a sitting position, though her muscles seemed to have forgotten how they worked. A nurse noticed and rushed to help her.

"Madam Mayor, you’re awake!" He said and helped her to sit up. He piled cushions up behind her. She remembered with a shock that was who she was. She was the mayor, though she hadn’t been called that in a long time.

"It'll take you a while to get your strength back, you haven't used your muscles in a long time. Water?" He asked

She nodded with difficulty. How long hadn’t she used her muscles for? He held a cup for her while she drank from a straw. She felt the water all the way down her throat. It was a little embarrassing being tended to like this, she felt like a child with a juice box. A vision of Henry flashed before her eyes and she felt a sudden throb in her chest.

"My son?" She asked in a creaking voice

"Oh yes, he's been in most days" the nurse said. He put the cup down and began busying himself around the room. He drew the blinds up further to let in more light and straightened her sheets.

Once he said that Henry had been there, she knew it to be true. She saw Henry sitting at her bedside, some nights talking to her, some nights not. She also knew he had been coming less and less often and would not have come at all sometimes if it had been up to him. She had seen his interactions with people who couldn't remember that they didn't know him. He was lonely and confused.

She let herself sink back into her pillows as she tried to make sense of the fragments that came back to her. Things happened around her. She didn’t pay attention.

 

A blonde woman that Regina recognised appeared at the door and knocked lightly.

"Hey" her smile was bright and filled with relief. She approached the bed and took Regina’s hand. Regina was slow to smile, raking her mind for the name of this person she knew was important. The woman’s eyes sparkled and Regina thought back. She knew her…intimately, she thought. She looked after Henry, she cared about him, she was like a second mother. A jolt shot through Regina. _Emma._ A smile unfolded slowly on her face as more memories came back with the name. Her Emma.

"Henry?" she asked. Her mouth still felt strange. All of her felt strange, like she was having trouble staying in the room, in her own mind.

"He's at school" Emma said "it's Friday. Mary Margaret is teaching them about the planets today in think"

Another shock. _Mary Margaret? Snow White?_ Painful old memories mixed in her head with new interactions Emma had with her mother. She shifted uncomfortably. 

“I can’t believe you’re awake” Emma said and laughed.

Regina watched her, expressionless though inside she was happy, alarmed and still confused. 

Emma pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat. She laced her fingers through Regina’s and smiled at her again. The sensation was odd. Their fingers seemed to fit together. Emma’s thumb brushed over her skin in unconscious, caring circles. 

“How do you feel?” Emma asked

 _Small. Weak. Confused._ She thought

“Alright” she said

“Kind of stiff I would guess?” Emma asked.

Regina nodded slowly.

“I brought you some things from home.” Emma indicated a bag on the floor with a nod “I didn’t know what you would want so I brought your phone, so you can stay in touch, my kindle and some fruit ‘cause I think that’s what you’re supposed to bring people in hospital.” She said

Regina smiled again, though her face was still getting used to moving. She actually felt things coming together a little better in her mind. She felt safe. Her eyes felt good when they were closed. She had to keep reminding herself to open them.

“It’s ok, you can sleep” Emma said, seeing her struggle. “I’ll be here” she squeezed her hand. 

Regina was reassured and let herself fall asleep with her palm pressed to Emma’s.

 

The look on Henry’s face when he heard his mother was awake was priceless. His mouth fell open and then grinned widely, his eyes snapped wide open too and his eyebrows shot right up under his hair. Emma wished she’d taken a picture to show Regina later.

He had been moody and quiet for weeks and the way he spoke about the deeds of The Evil Queen was unforgiving, but in the moment that he realised his mom was going to be ok he couldn’t hide the relief he felt. He flung his arms around Emma on the school steps and she laughed.

“Let’s go see her” she said, taking his hand and hopping down the first few stairs. He hesitated at the top of them.

“What’s up?” she asked, turning back

“I don’t know if I should” he said. Emma didn’t understand. Her brow wrinkled as she looked up at him.

“If you should what?” she asked

“Come to see her” he said. Emma stared at him, unbelieving. His brow was furrowed and he shifted awkwardly on his feet. 

“Henry I don’t understand. Aren’t you glad she’s awake? Haven’t you missed her?” she asked, searching his little features for some sign of a practical joke.

“Yeah, I missed my mom, but…” he was thinking about the book, Emma knew it.

“Henry, she’s not the Evil Queen, she’s just Regina” she said before thinking

“She is the Evil Queen!” Henry shouted at her, yanked back his hand and started down the steps.

“Henry!” Emma called. She berated herself for her choice of words. She had walked on eggshells with him for weeks and one moment of thoughtlessness had undone it all. She started down the steps again. She couldn’t turn up to the hospital without him. Regina would be heartbroken.

“Hey, kid” she said as she caught up to him waiting by the car “we’re going to see your mom tonight. You can duke this out with her when she’s back to normal but right now she just needs you to show up”

She dropped into the driver’s seat without waiting for a reply. If she had ever had a mom-voice, that was it. She glanced at him as he sat and buckled his seatbelt. His cheeks were flushed and he wouldn’t look at her.

 

"You want to get up? Want me to get a wheelchair?" Emma asked, turning to look for one.

"Absolutely not" Regina mumbled, sounding more like herself. She had had time to sort through more of her thoughts and remembered the way people spoke about her when news of her hospitalisation got around. She pictured the dwarves in particular. Emma helped her put on a robe and Regina sat at the edge of the bed rolling her ankles slowly.

“I…” Emma started then seemed to hesitate “I’m really glad you’re back. I missed you”

Regina heard her. After a moment she remembered she was probably supposed to reply. She gave her a small smile and that seemed enough for Emma.

Henry appeared at the door having stalled on the pretence of needing the bathroom. Regina’s smile didn’t hesitate. It was the most genuinely loving and radiant thing Emma had ever seen. She got a lump in her throat even witnessing it. Tears shone in Henry’s eyes. 

“Mom” he said, before throwing his arms around her. She bent down and hugged him back. Emma thought the sudden movement and strain on her body must have been extremely uncomfortable for her, but Regina’s face showed no trace of it. When he let her go she pushed herself back to a normal sitting position. 

She stroked his face.

“I missed you” he said

“I’m sorry, but I’m here now” she said warmly, her thumb on his chin. She seemed to be trying to take in every detail of his face.

“You’ve grown” she smiled sadly. He climbed onto the bed with her and held her hand.

“Are you ok?” he asked

“I’ll be fine” she said “tell me about you, what have I missed?” she asked

Something wasn’t right. Emma watched Regina ask questions and he answered them, but every time she asked him something Emma grew more and more uncomfortable until she stepped out of the room to give them some privacy.

“Doc” she said, passing Whale

“Deputy” he replied with a smug smile “The Mayor will be glad to see how well you’ve settled in without her”

“Excuse me?” she asked, a rush of anxiety filling her chest at the insinuation.

“You know, your job and…friends. There must be a lot to fill her in on” her heart fluttered in her chest at all the things he could be implying.

She turned to face him full on.

 _If my son wasn’t on the other side of that glass..._ she thought squaring up to him. He stepped back and panic overtook his face.

“Any idea what caused all this, Doc?” she asked “I’m sure The Mayor is going to want answers as to why she’s been out cold for three months and you’ve done exactly nothing about it. My guess is, she’ll want those answers from you” 

Emma had heard so much around town about Regina’s reputation. She had seen the forceful business negotiator side, the thorny leave-me-alone side, the no-nonsense mother side, but the rumours she heard were another story all together. If she was going to use Regina’s fearsome reputation to make anyone uncomfortable, this seemed like an ideal chance. Whale tugged his collar.

“Some things are just a medical mystery, Deputy Swan” he said, his cheeks turning red.

“Uh huh” she said, her eyes boring into his. She glanced at the room then back at him “well I’m sure she’ll be satisfied with that answer…”

He was practically sweating by the time she turned towards the waiting room. 

_What a grade A asshole_ she thought, though what he said made her more uncomfortable than she was willing to address right now.

 

"It is good to see you back on your feet, Mayor Mills" Archie said from the chair by her bed the next morning. "In a manner of speaking" he added realising she was actually lying down.

She rolled her eyes disdainfully at him.

"You seem like a completely different person, you've obviously worked hard while you've been away, though I can remember your last session like it was yesterday" he said, rolling his cap between his hands

 _I'm sure you can_ she thought, smugly.

"Doctor Hopper, do you think you could arrange our appointments with my secretary? You'll notice I don't have my diary to hand" she said

"Of course, I will" he stood up, recognising the dismissal "I just came by to say I'm glad you're awake. I'm sure Henry and Emma are relived to see you"

Her stomach jolted. Henry had only initially seemed relieved to have her back. He had answered all her questions about school, but kept all of his stories to himself and avoiding the subject of his book altogether. Emma had been much more excited but Regina felt the weight of uncomfortable conversations that needed to be had hanging over them both.

Why Hopper brought Emma up in the first place was also an annoyance and a mystery to her. No one in the town except Snow knew about their relationship, and she had kept her promise of secrecy to Emma.

 _Perhaps she has learned her lesson from all of this,_ a sharp thought jabbed her.

“It really is great to see you again, Madam Mayor” Archie said, backing out of the room. She nodded at him and went back to thinking about Snow and Emma. There was something there that needed her attention, something bothering her if she could only find it. She tried to look back, to sift through her memories but there was too much to process. It frustrated her.

"How do you feel?" Whale asked as he interrupted her thoughts sauntering into the room 15 minutes later than the nurse said he would.

 _I don't know,_ she thought, _annoyed._

She shrugged.

"Better than yesterday? Worse than yesterday?" He asked with an impatient sigh. He clicked his pen and scribbled something on her chart.

_Neither. Both._

"Less tired than yesterday" she said “still foggy” she admitted reluctantly.

"Good, that's good" he said and scribbled something else on the chart "maybe you can try standing up today. I'll come back later to assess you for a physio rehab programme"

And with that he left.

 _That sounds awful,_ she thought. 

"Hey, how are you doing today?" Emma appeared at the door.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Regina registered that she felt a weight lift off her chest

"Less tired" she repeated

"Great" Emma smiled dazzlingly at her 

"I brought coffee, I don't know if you're allowed it, I didn't ask but I figured you're everyone's boss so..." She shrugged

"Yes I am" Regina replied triumphantly and took the coffee.

She prepared to feel the relief and satisfaction that always came with the first sip of coffee. The taste took her right back to her life here before Henry. She remembered the emptiness of everything, her meaningless routine, her heartless use of heartless Graham.

 _Graham._ The sudden remembrance of Emma's interactions with the sheriff slammed into her so hard she dropped her coffee.

"Oh hey" Emma was still close by and caught it, but there were splashes on the bedding. Regina looked at her face but didn’t hear her. She couldn't feel Emma's hands around hers, sliding the cup from her grasp. She was reliving the moment he kissed Emma and she let him. She kissed him back. Regina almost felt the graze of his stubble as if it were against her own skin.

"Regina?" Emma's voice called her back to the present.

Her eyes focused and she found Emma's.

"What? What is it?" Hers were full of concern. Regina watched her search her face "are you ok? Should I get a doctor?"

"Graham?" Regina asked hoarsely, hoping Emma would deny it all, say she was drunk, she didn't mean it, she didn't even like him, but she knew none of that was true.

"What about Graham?" Emma asked "has he been to see you? Do you need him for something?"

"You" Regina started, her voice still tight from not being used cracked a little "and Graham"

At that moment Whale blew in through the door talking seemingly for his own benefit, not checking to see if anyone was listening to him. Emma stared, open-mouthed at Regina whose eyes seemed to glaze with sadness. Her heart throbbed.

"Could you give us a minute doctor?" Emma asked, not taking her eyes from Regina

"I have an important assessment to carry out-" he said

"Please? Just five minutes" Emma said

"Miss Swan I need to see my pa-"

Emma rounded on him

"It's Deputy Swan to you and you have a hospital full of patients you could see. The Mayor isn't dying, is she? No, then give us five god damn minutes"

He stared at her for a moment then stormed out. Emma turned back to Regina. She was looking out of the window.

"Regina I don't know what you know or how, but please let me explain" Emma pleaded, reasons and excuses buzzing around her head.

"He made you feel less alone" Regina said, flatly

"Yes" Emma said

"Like you might actually be ok here" she repeated the words Emma had spoken to Snow.

"Y-yeah, how do you…?" Emma sat on the end of her bed, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"I was there" Regina said, looking at her hands in her lap. "I was everywhere"

"What do you mean you were there? You were here in the hospital" Emma said, ignoring the second half of her statement.

"Yes I suppose my body was here, but the rest of me was..." She trailed off remembering the vastness she felt, when she was everywhere, the whole town. She was the curse, the buildings, the people, she was everything. She didn't observe she was just present everywhere.

"Maybe I should get a doctor" Emma said, standing up

"I'm ok" Regina said "Its just hard to explain. I was everywhere, I saw everything, I was everything. The doors Henry slammed, the nights you couldn't sleep, the cinnamon on your hot chocolate"

"How do you know I like cinnamon on my hot chocolate?" Emma asked

"Because I was there" Regina replied candidly.

Emma’s eyes flickered between hers. She looked around the room and then back at Regina.

"I'm going to get a doctor" Emma said standing. 

"You don't believe me?" Regina asked. She was sure Emma had the same skill as Henry for telling lies from truth. They made the same face when they were looking at it.

"Would you? You sound crazy"

There was a pause while Emma seemed to debate getting Whale or not.

"I'm glad you don't speak to Henry this way about his book, that would be horrible for him." Regina looked at her hands again.

Emma's mouth fell open. No one had told Regina about the book.

"He's right by the way, about everything.” She paid extra attention to her cuticles “You're the baby in the wardrobe, Mary Margaret is Snow White, though you already know that, and I was the Evil Queen.” She looked up to see Emma’s disbelieving glare fixed on her. She continued “The book lacks a lot of context and doesn't portray me favourably, not that you should excuse what I have done, but it was a path I was set on very early in life. He is right to be angry at me, you all should be, but I need to talk to him about my side of things"

Emma didn't move. Images of Emma and Graham forced their way back into Regina’s mind, she wished they would get out.

"Would you get the doctor?" Regina asked, rubbing her forehead

“Are you ok?” Emma asked. Regina nodded, looking at her hands again.

Emma leant back and knocked on the glass wall. Whale looked up, scowled at being summoned so unceremoniously in his own hospital and made his way slowly over.

"I’m not saying I believe you, but we need to talk about…well, everything" Emma said

Regina hummed in reply and looked out of the window again, unconsciously rubbing her chest over her heart.


	14. Chapter 14

"I heard your news!" Mary Margaret said, seeing Emma and Henry in the foyer of their building. She locked her mailbox and hugged Emma. "I so glad for you both" she smiled at Henry. He smiled vaguely back.

"Thanks” Emma said, distantly. “We're shot, gonna go straight to bed I think" she said putting her hand on his shoulder. He nodded and headed up the stairs. 

"No cocoa?" Mary Margaret asked

"You know, that would be nice, but it has been a really long day" she said. Henry was already half way up the stairs and didn't wait for them. She watched him go. He was still mad at her for making him see Regina the night before. He just needed someone to be mad at, but it still sucked.

"Oh ok, yeah Henry seemed a little distracted in class today" Mary Margaret said as they walked side by side up the stairs. “So can I ask what happened?"

"They don't know, she just woke up" Emma said, mechanically. She had lost count of how many times had she been asked that day.

"I mean between you!" Mary Margaret said

"Oh, well, she was kind of in a daze, like she couldn't remember how to like, talk to people. But with Henry she just lit up" Emma felt her heart fill up again as she remembered the blinding smile Regina gave him. "I swear he's the saviour from his book, not me" she said. Mary Margaret chuckled.

"Funny timing, huh?" Mary Margaret asked, getting to her door

"Yeah funny as a train wreck" Emma said. She paused at the bottom of her steps. "I can't believe I couldn't just hold out a day longer" a lump formed in her throat as she finally said what she had been thinking for two days now.

"You couldn't have known! And this has been coming for more than a day, Emma, and you know it" Mary Margaret said. Emma thought of how often Graham had suggested that they do things together and she had deflected, finding an excuse to stay at her desk or escaping to make an ‘urgent’ call. Every day she spent alone here made it harder to turn down his company. It had been a long time coming, she knew.

"I just wish I had known she was so close to coming back. If I'd know I would have never...I don't know. I would never have let Graham think we could be anything. Now I think I've hurt both of them and myself and Henry." Emma almost choked on his name. After a moment she turned to go up the stairs.

“My door is always open” Mary Margaret said

“Thanks” Emma replied automatically, climbing the stairs to her apartment. She just had to make it through the door, she just had to get inside before she could let her mask slip. She went straight to her room, seeing Henry must be in his. She closed the door, pulled her phone out and dialled Harper immediately.

“Hey!” He said, the smile evident in his voice. It was reassuring to hear her brother on the end of the line. How many times had she been in a dark place and managed to get herself out after his encouragement?

“Max” Emma said, it came out almost as a whisper. 

“What is it?” His voice turning somber in an instant “Are you ok?”

“Yes”

“Henry?”

“He’s the same”

“Regina?”

Emma didn’t answer straight away

“She’s awake...she’s…”

Harper didn’t interrupt her as all the things she needed to say collided with all the things she was supposed to be keeping secret from the outside world, and things she was trying to keep secret even from herself. 

"She already knew about Graham" she forced herself to say 

"Who is Graham?" Harper asked

"The sheriff" she replied, rubbing her forehead

"Oh yeah, gotcha. Someone told her? That was fast!" He said

"Everyone in this town knows everything" she said. It wasn’t technically a lie, but she still hated it.

"What was her reaction?" He asked. Emma held her breath. She could see the tears in Regina’s dark eyes, the ones she had missed for months, ones that had never looked at her like that. Her luscious smile receded to a rosebud, trying to contain the pain she felt. Even that was unlike her.

"She's kind of not herself" Emma said eventually

"That's understandable. She was unconscious for three months. Can you imagine having that much Netflix to catch up on?" Harper replied

"I don't think Netflix is her main concern." Emma replied, not in the mood for jokes. He sighed.

"Three months of Netflix would overwhelm you. Imagine three months of life to catch up on, on top of, what, eleven years?" he said

She knew that. She understood. She wished she didn't. It was easier to be angry than understanding. Fuck, she was empathising like it was fucking happening to her, and wasn't she supposed to be the victim in all this, along with the rest of the town, anyway?

"Yeah" she said, not particularly in answer to anything.

"So what did she say about the sheriff?" He asked when she didn’t say anything else

"She" Emma began but she had trouble remembering exactly what she said, she was overwhelmed with how she felt. Her throat felt like it was closing and her eyes blurred with tears. Regina had known everything already, heard every reason before. "She was really understanding. It was awful. I wish she had been mad and shouted and hated me"

"Does she know anything beyond what happened?" He asked

"Like what?" Emma asked, confused by the question

"Like how you feel?" He asked

"I don't know how I feel" she said. Her mind felt like a rubiks cube. She got so far but really she was just turning for the sake of it, never finishing, never satisfied with what she discovered. He sighed again.

"What?" She asked

"You don't know because you don't want to think about it because it hurts and you don't want to get upset, but if you don't think about it you'll never figure out what it is or how to deal with it, you'll just have this feelings hangover forever"

"Fuck off, Max" she rubbed the water from her eyes

"Don't shoot the messenger" he said

"The messenger is being an ass"

"No, you're being an ass. Just let her have her feelings and in the meantime figure out yours"

"I don't want to" she said

"Why?"

She paused.

"Because it'll hurt and I don't want to get upset" She heard him breathe out.

"You're an incredible human being, Emma. You know yourself and what you expect from others. You have compassion and a capacity to love deeper than I can even understand. I know it's hard and you deserve a break, but you've come too far to stop here. You have to keep going." He said.

"I don't know if I can" she said quietly as she wiped her eyes again.

"You can. You've been through much worse than this" he said confidently

"Have I?" She knew she probably had, though she couldn’t remember when.

"You want me to come down there? We can hang out. I'll build a blanket fort and we can smoke a bunch, watch Rugrats and eat goldfish crackers till we throw up" He said. She laughed at the memory.

"Fuck, that was the best and worst night ever" she smiled

"Night? We were there for a week at least, maybe a month?" he said and she laughed again.

"A couple of years?" She asked

"Are we still there?" He replied. Her smile slowly faded along with the memory, until it was just her again, stuck somewhere she didn’t want to be.

"I love you" she said

"I love you too. Let me know if you want me to come. I'll be there in no time"

She hung up and wiped her eyes again. She tried to shut it off before she remembered Max’s words. No, fuck it, she was already crying. She was on her own and she was safe. For the first time in a long time, she let herself cry. Everything she had kept in for three months poured from her.

She thought about Regina lying in that bed, Henry's book, the way Regina had refused to acknowledge what they had in her kitchen and now she might have thrown it all away.

"I'm fucking mad at you" she said aloud to her empty room, no longer bothering to wipe her tears away "I'm so mad I want to shout at you, blame you but I get you too. I understand. I wish I didn't, I wish I could just hate you but even though I hate you I..."

She trailed off as she balanced on the edge of admitting something she could not come back from.

"I don't fucking hate you" she said.

 

Regina smiled sleepily as Emma opened the door to her room. She made her way over, put flowers on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed. She took Regina's hand and held it in her own.

Regina looked at it. She recognised the gesture as a loving one, she felt the warmth of Emma’s skin against her own, but other than that she didn’t feel anything. At the back of her mind there was an inkling of emotion, something bothering her, but she didn't have time to examine it before Emma spoke again.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, her face full of concern.

"Small" Regina managed hoarsely. She didn't know how long it had been since she spoke with ease, but her vocal chords still felt tight. She didn't even sound like herself. Emma smiled at the nurse as he left.

"I'm sure I know the name of everyone in this hospital. I’ve been here every day" Emma said "and so has Henry" The second part was not true, Regina knew.

"I know" she croaked. She felt that thing she couldn’t quite remember gnawing at her again.

“Did the nurses tell you? I’ve been kind of a pain, I know” she said, looking around to see if any were within earshot. Regina shook her head gently, finding it easier than speaking. Surprise washed over Emma's face and then she remembered. Regina would have been here too, kind of.

"Could you hear me? When I was talking to you" Her face was such a picture of childish wonder Regina's lips broke into an unconscious and genuine smile. She nodded. Emma looked at her lap and blushed.

"Oh wow, I didn't think...and you remember?" She said in a low whisper, looking back in her mind to everything she had ever said at Regina's bedside. Regina looked suddenly tired.

"It's not-" she coughed and took the water Emma handed her. 

"I don't have to remember, Emma. I know." There was quiet as Regina tried to translate everything into words that could capture it. Her eyes were not focussed on anything in front of her, they moved as she searched through her mind.

"I was here and everywhere. I was the town. I was the curse. I was everything" she said "I know everything, but I don’t always remember" They stared at each other in the ensuing silence.

“That’s…” Emma trailed off. "Really, everything?" she asked, quietly and without making eye contact.

Regina looked up into her face and knew instantly what Emma was thinking about. There had been a brief reprise this morning when her mind had been blank and she had not thought about Emma and Graham, but that was over now. She couldn’t tear her eyes from Emma’s. She looked so scared, but she missed looking at her. She knew as soon as she spoke Emma would look away. Too hurt, too guilty, too ashamed to maintain eye contact.

"Yes" her voice cracked on the word. Emma looked down immediately. Suddenly Regina felt again. For the first time since she watched the sunrise that morning she felt something. Her chest filled with water, she felt it rising and coming up her throat, felt it try to pour from her eyes like she would drown if it didn't.

Emma stood with a hand on her hip and one covering her mouth as she watched Regina, lost in her own mind.

"I don’t know what it is about him" Emma started after what felt like forever in the still room. Regina looked up at her incredulously. Was she about to start extolling the virtues of her new love interest? That was more than she was willing to endure.

"It’s like part of him is missing. He said he couldn’t love me, which was...a weird thing to say I guess". The pain in her voice was audible. She had fought for a long time to make herself believe she was worthy of love and deserving of happiness. 

Regina felt again, but this time it was fire, not water. She burned with regret, her fingers seared as she remembered the beat of Graham's heart in her hand.

"He can't love anyone" Regina said coldly.

"I know" Emma replied "that's what he told me. He said he couldn't feel. Like he had no heart, whatever that means"

Regina stared into space. Memories terrorised her as she relived the moment her hand plunged into his chest over and over again. She felt nauseous as she remembered his face as she did it.

"I stole it" she said eventually

"Stole what?" Emma asked, assuming this was the middle of a thought Regina was having. 

"His heart" Regina said, with difficulty. The tears she had held in until now spilled down her cheeks. The guilt she felt was unending. She forgot the faces of people whose lives she had ruined, but here was one of them bearing down on her now. Graham represented them all. She had left behind the woman she had been in Storybrooke, but now she was back and there was no escaping her. She swallowed and more tears fell from her eyes.

"No way" Emma stared at her wide eyed. She didn’t respond. "Surely he would have said something"

"Why?” Regina asked “You didn't mention me either" she said, still staring at the bed sheets, like her mind was in two places at once.

"But I told him I was seeing someone at least" Emma defended herself, maybe Regina would excuse what she could not excuse herself.

"And he told you he had no heart" Regina said, her voice devoid of emotion despite what she felt internally.

"He never said you had a...thing, even when we talked about you" Emma said half-heartedly

"Neither did you" Regina replied calmly.

"I didn't know if you wanted people to know!” Emma raised her voice. Regina didn’t know if she was shouting at her or just shouting. She listened politely. “I didn't know what this place was like! You weren’t here! All I had was this fucking fairytale book and Henry telling me Archie was Jiminie Cricket for fuck’s sake." She dropped heavily onto the bed still facing the window.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out again. She looked at Regina who was looking at her own hands as if she hardly recognised them.

“So were you in love with Graham once?” Emma asked “Or, I mean” she stuttered, realising the assumption she had just made about Regina’s feelings towards her “do you still?” she turned away and rolled her eyes at herself.

“No, I never loved him. I don’t know that I was capable of it. And he didn’t love me either, we just used each other until I had used him all up” Regina raised her eyes to meet Emma’s.

Emma looked practically ill at the mention of Regina and Graham “using” each other. Her brow wrinkled.

"So how did you steal his heart if he never loved you?" Emma asked, the odd phrasing sticking like a thorn in her mind.

Regina felt the same thorn but sharper and it cut her deeper. She took a deep breath and prepared to explain as a nurse stalked into the room.

"Visiting time was up half an hour ago, Deputy Sheriff" she said and planted a stubborn hand on her hip, indicating Emma was leaving the room imminently.

"Oh. Ok" Emma said. The nurse obviously hadn't expected it to be so easy. She nodded at her, fluffed Regina’s pillows without being asked and left the room.

"I'll come by again tonight.” Emma said “I’m sorry didn’t get here sooner. I guess we’ll talk about stuff later?” 

Regina nodded. She noticed the flowers by her bedside for the first time.

"Oh, the flowers you like outside the school" she said before she could stop herself. She didn't want to remind Emma that for three months that she had had no privacy from her, but it was too late to take it back now. Emma waited. "They're called lisianthus. You can get them at the florist on Main. If you wanted. I remember you always liked the fresh flowers in the house so..."

She felt heat rise to her cheeks as she rode out her embarrassment. When Emma didn't answer she looked up. Her head was tipped to the side and her smile was small, barely noticeable but her eyes were bright with something. Recognition? Hope?

The nurse rapped on the glass door and Emma jumped.

"Ok, I'm going" Emma said

She bent down and kissed her cheek. Regina felt again, but it was a bloom of sadness in her chest. She watched Emma leave and let herself collapse into her refreshed pillows. She sank slowly into them, their gentle embrace around her would have been comforting, if her mind wasn't already miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you saw a few sprinkles of hope in this chapter. I know it seems like all doom and gloom, but things are going to pick up once Regina is (literally) back on her feet. Thanks for sticking with it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, an update! Sorry it has been ages. I have had some time to get the rest of this story actually nailed down. I'm planning like 4 more chapters after this one. It's a bit short but the next update is coming soon! Thanks for your kudos and comments and for reading =)

Regina's coffee stood forgotten on her nightstand table. Emma sat in the chair beside the bed, holding hers for dear life. Regina's head throbbed with things she remembered, things she wanted to say and things she wanted Emma to say. ‘It was a mistake’ was among the favourites along with ‘I don't care about him’ and ‘I want you’. ‘Love’ would be better but Regina couldn't let the word into her consciousness. 

"I thought you might be working this morning" she said, unwillingly drawing Emma's work schedule from memory.

"Graham gave me the morning off to see you" 

Regina's lips tightened and she nodded. ‘How generous’ she thought, spitefully and wondered if he knew they would be talking about him and the probably end of their relationship.

"I just can't accept this, Regina, I just..." she ran a hand through her hair "I kind of squared away a lot of it and then Henry's book came along and it just seemed ridiculous"

"You thought it was a metaphor" 

"Yes!" Emma said, forgetting for a moment that Regina had heard her say it. 

"Like Henry's book." She continued. Emma's face fell slightly "that was a very good way to explain that to him. You're very good at getting on his level." Emma looked at the floor, unsure of what to say. "Thank you for taking such good care of him, for making him feel safe and loved” Emma continued to stare at the ground, waiting until she could stomach the conversation they needed to have. "Emma you're not crazy" 

"Are you sure?" She laughed but it wasn't funny "because I believe everything you’ve said, so I must have lost my mind. I know you saw what happened but there's other stuff we need to talk about, like what we are and...Graham's heart"

"I'm all ears" Regina said quieter than before. She twisted the ring on her finger.

Emma felt a rush of anguish. She had known what she was doing that night, but in that moment she didn't care, she needed to feel close to someone, she needed to forget that she was lost and alone, she needed to forget how much she missed Regina.

“We need to talk about Graham. About how you...broke him or whatever you two did to each other that meant he can’t love again.

"No" Regina said "you're thinking too metaphorically, Emma. I didn't break his heart or hurt him emotionally. I stole his actual heart" She swallowed and waited for Emma's reply. 

“So you weren’t sleeping together?” 

“Well, we were” Regina replied and Emma wished she hadn’t asked.

“How can he even be alive without a heart?” 

“Magic” Regina said and shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, seriously” 

“Yes, seriously” 

“How did you do it?” 

“M-”

“Don’t fucking say magic again” Emma cut her off. Regina paused while she relived the sickening feeling of her skin being warmed by the internal temperature of his body, his groan of pain as her hand closed around his heart.

“I used magic to force my hand through his chest until I reached his heart. I ripped it out of his body and kept it.”

Emma stared at her "Why? Why would you do that? Graham doesn't have a heart?!" she stood and put her hands on her head.

"There are lots of reasons people steal hearts. I stole his as punishment. I made him my slave in the Enchanted Forest. Here he was more a very pliant employee"

"You can control people with their hearts?" Emma asked

Regina nodded "if you know how to use them. They still retain the ability to make decisions, but not when you tell them not to" She was disgusted at her own explanation.

"You take away their agency?"

Regina nodded

"Their ability to give consent?" Regina began to answer then paused. "Oh my god" Emma closed her eyes and turned away from her.

"It wasn't like that Emma" Regina tried to explain

"You just said he was your slave!" Emma shouted, turning to face her again.

"Yes he was, I forced him to do my bidding but not...in bed" Regina’s cheeks flushed at the idea

"Right" Emma said, clearly not accepting what she was told

"He could have said no, Emma. He just didn't" Regina said.

"And if he did would you have let him?" Emma asked. Regina didn't know. She was a monster in the Enchanted Forest, she knew that. She might not have let him say no. Maybe that's why he didn't. "Oh my god" Emma put her hand over her mouth

"Emma, as far as I know I never assaulted him in that way" Regina said

"You can say the word Regina, you don't think you ever raped him"

"No” she said firmly. “I don't believe I did, I don't know if I was capable of it. I may well have been" Emma's eyes widened. "Emma please listen to me. I have enough crimes to my name, many worse than this. You don't have to invent new ones to add to my repertoire"

A lump formed in her throat as she thought if all the things she had done. All the hearts she had ripped out for the most trivial of reasons, all the lives she ruined, all the pain she caused.

Emma closed her eyes again. “I wish I didn’t know. I wish this hadn’t happened. I wish…” She trailed off. Regina’s eyes filled with tears watching her. "I just wanted to stop feeling alone"

"Do you love him?" Regina asked quietly

"I like him. He's a good guy" Emma said "can he even feel love without a heart?"

"I know where it is, I'll put it back" Regina looked out of the window again. Emma’s non-answer speaking for itself. The sky was blue with candy floss clouds. She missed the vastness of it, the serenity. She pushed to the back of her mind the other things she missed.

"And...us?" Emma asked "you said this wasn't important to you"

"And you said you wouldn't leave me, so I suppose we both lied" Regina looked up as she spoke. Emma's eyes widened. Guilt and sorrow painted across her face.

‘Good, she deserves it’ said a voice somewhere in Regina’s mind. She barely registered it. She felt awful seeing the hurt she caused. Emma’s lack of rebuttal spoke for itself, she blamed herself too. She punished herself for taking what she needed. She knew Emma had a point. She had told her to go away. She was the one who said their relationship was just sex, she had pushed her because she knew she would lose her anyway. Now she was here it seemed more complicated. Did Emma's guilt mean she still cared for her? Did she have a choice? 

The idea that they might have a chance scared her more than she expected. She had prepared to lose Emma, expecting her to learn of her evil deeds, hate and disown her. She may deserve it, but Emma would be rejecting the woman she was in the past, not the woman she had worked so hard to become. Somehow that made it more bearable. Hope that she could still have her was not bearable.

"Emma" she didn't know what to say but she had to say something. It wasn't Emma's fault. Emma sniffed and wiped her nose on the back her hand.

"Visiting hours are over" Whale blew into the room with his chart, dismissing Emma blithely. She was going to have to do something about their ridiculous hospital hours.

She had to say something, but what? She couldn't let Emma leave like this. Whale was babbling on about something. She wanted to take his clipboard and knock him out with it.

"Emma" she tried again

"I've got to go" she said, her hands awkwardly in her back pockets "I'll bring Henry by later" And she was gone. Regina watched her walk quickly through the ward without a backward glance.

"Mayor Mills" Whale interrupted

"What?" She snapped

"You'll be good to go home soon if the physio agrees." 

"I'll be going home tomorrow regardless" Regina had gained back some essential parts of her mayorship, number one: telling not asking.

"Ok" Whale said in his smug 'well I know better' voice. "I’ll have a nurse bring a wheelchair-”

"Absolutely not" she said

"A walking stick, then" he said

"No"

“Madam Mayor, please. Humor me"

"Fine!" 

-

Emma did return with Henry that night. She left them alone so she could “make a phone call” though really she just didn’t want to be there and they all knew it. She came again in the morning to take Regina home after Whale discharged her, astonished at the recovery she appeared to be making. “It’s almost like magic” Emma said through a fake smile as they left. Regina hardly used the cane at all until they got out of her car. Then she hobbled down the path and up the steps refusing any assistance.

"Thanks" Regina took her bag from Emma without it being offered. Emma reluctantly let it slip from her hand and they stood awkwardly in the eerily quiet foyer.

"So what can I do? I put new sheets on your bed and bought some food. The market here is so small, I paid like nine dollars for an avocado." Regina had to admit that was sweet. If Emma was trying to tell her she cared without saying so, it was working. 

"I don't need you to look after me" she said, but not unkindly. She was just so uncomfortable.

"I know you don't, but how are you planning on getting up those stairs?" Emma asked.

Regina stood at the bottom holding a leather weekend bag that was throwing her off balance. She hated feeling so weak, stupid body.

"Magic?" She said unsurely. Emma watched her think it through, assess the distance, look internally to see if she had the energy. She looked uncertain.

"Let me help" Emma said quietly

"Let me try" Regina replied.

Emma pursed her lips and nodded. Regina took a deep breath and disappeared in a cloud of thick purple smoke. Emma looked up and saw her appear precariously close to the top step, unsteady. She was up there in seconds, held the bannister and wrapped an arm around Regina's waist to steady her.

"I'm ok, it was the bag, I should have left it with you" she said, blushing. She was the queen of the enchanted forest, transportation was child's play compared to the magic she was capable of.

"You're ok" Emma said "you did it" The corner of Regina's mouth curled and she leant dizzily into Emma. "Let's sit down"

They sat on the top step. Regina sat back with her arms supporting her. Emma sat forwards and wrapped an arm around Regina's left knee, pulling it closer to her own. The gesture was small but it was intimate. She was glad she was there.

"You want some breakfast?" 

"Can we eat it up here?" Regina replied, unsure if she could get down and back up the stairs again today.

Emma smiled "Yeah, breakfast in bed?" She asked, then her face fell "I mean, I didn't mean for us, I meant for you, you'd be in bed without me. Or. Whatever."

"Wow" Regina replied and Emma blushed "I don't think I can let you leave if you're going to provide this level of entertainment" 

The tips of Emma's ears turned pink. "I'd like to stay for breakfast...on bed? I missed you" she said, drawing a small circle on Regina's knee with her thumb.

"I..." Well Regina hadn't missed her, she was right there, she couldn't miss anyone. "I would like that too" she settled for.

Emma's face brightened instantly and Regina's heart lifted. Emma helped her to her feet and Regina sent her away insisting she was capable of getting into her own bed.

Emma smiled, kissed her cheek and hopped down the stairs, trailing her hand along the wide bannister. Regina watched her go and smiled to herself feeling a brief and wonderful moment of contentment.

-

"I thinks she's being cruel, making you stay here" Mary Margaret said, tossing salad in a bowl

"She isn’t making me stay here, I offered to stay with her and she said no. It’s reasonable” even though it sucks “Anyway, she's hurt, Mary Margaret, I..." She could barely bring herself to say the words, she wasn't that person, or at least she hadn’t been for a long time "I hurt her"

"It's been three months!" Mary Margaret replied “you couldn't know she would wake up, it could have been years, could have been forever!"

"It felt like forever" Emma said, picking from the salad, Mary Margaret slapped her hand away

"How's Henry doing?"

"He still thinks she's the evil queen from his book" Emma said "he's mad at her and doesn't want to talk to me"

"I get that" she said. Emma looked up suddenly "I mean, I'm not saying she is, Regina is a force to be reckoned with but she's not evil. If I thought the my mom was a fairytale character I’d find that a little hard to deal with too."

Emma smiled to herself and watched the way Mary Margaret’s thoughts painted themselves across her face while she was doing other things.

"Have they talked about it?" Mary Margaret asked

"Not really"

"Has seeing Doctor Hopper helped?"

"I think so. He's just such a good kid, this is the first time he's had big scary questions in his life" she glanced at Mary Margaret again.

"What?"

"What?"

"You keep looking at me"

"Well, where do you want me to look?"

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?"

"You have a look. You're doing it now"

Emma looked at her reflection in the glass cabinet door. Ok she had a point. "Sorry"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah" she said automatically, earning herself a raised eyebrow. "I'm just thinking about something Regina said"

"Oh" she replied and stopped pushing her. Emma watched her cooking. She knew Regina was telling the truth but she still couldn't believe it. She knew about the curse fucking up time and she knew Mary Margaret was about her age but she still couldn't accept it, no matter how much she wanted to.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 16! Sorry about the gap between updates, thanks for reading all this time! Thank you as always for the comments and kudos, I really appreciate them all <3 
> 
> [Spoiler: Things will get a little worse before they get better]

A week passed with Emma and Henry making regular visits to the mansion until Henry began to stay over. The arrangement was in it’s infancy but it had made Regina almost a different person with happiness.

"This is terrible!" Regina protested one day as they sat in her living room watching a movie while Henry did homework in the room that was supposed to be his. The film it was Emma’s choice. She laughed at the extreme reaction.

"The book is a lot better"

"She's supposed to be her mother but she's casting her out for her supposed sins? She said she wanted her to be happy! How hypocritical." Regina took a piece of salty popcorn from the bowl between them. Emma watched in silent fascination as she ate pieces one by one.

"It's not like that in the book" Emma smiled when Regina had finished with her dainty handful of their snack "actually the relationships between women are much better and it goes into more depth for both of them about why they behave the way they do. There's a lot more you can describe in writing that you can't in film, you know? You can get inside their heads"

"I don't know if I want to read the book. I’m angry at the 'mother's' hypocrisy and the sex scene was…”

“Awkward?” Regina hummed in agreement and Emma laughed again "Well it's on the kindle for when your curiosity gets the better of you" she smiled

Regina still frowned as she watched Emma's smile brighten with amusement at herself. She watched Emma force an entire handful of popcorn into her mouth in one go and was equally charmed and appalled. She had missed this. She hadn't had this in...well she couldn't remember how long. Maybe never. Maybe in another life. Maybe she was destined to drift through lifetimes of pain and boredom only to be anchored by a temporary happiness. This one had lasted longer than any other she had known, though she knew she was soon to be released from it to drift on the current, lonely but enduring until the next barb of fleeting contentment caught her. Eventually she would be torn from that too.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma asked. It was one of her favourite questions. She was often rewarded with serious answers about mundane things. Once as Regina was frowning at the dishes she dried as Emma washed them she had announced "I was thinking about what you said last week about the importance of platonic relationship representation, so I take back what I said about Meredith and Christina" Emma's heart had sung when she said that. Not only did Regina take Emma's thoughts away with her, she worked on her own until they complemented each other or she brought a new dynamic to the discussion that she hadn't heard before. She loved that these discussions were important to Regina, even if she hugely resented Emma for getting her hooked on a television show that more often than not was heartbreakingly sad. This was a close favourite along with the time Regina had researched the nutritional value of bananas over their period of ripeness to refute Emma's flippant claim that "they're better for you when they have spots on them". 

"I was thinking about the cyclical nature of life" Regina said. Emma pursed her lip and tried not to smile "What?" 

"Nothing" Emma said, a grin breaking across her face as she utterly failed to keep her adoration to herself.

Regina's frown deepened into the one that meant she knew she was being made fun of. "What?"

"I love that you can go from discussing the failings of a movie adaptation to the 'cyclical nature of life' in like five seconds" Emma still smiled.

Love? Emma loved that about her? No one loved things about her but Henry, and the love between them under considerable strain. Harper loved that she made him lots of money, James loved that she was keen for him to learn from her, Bobby loved the sexuality that ached from her, but she believed people generally just put up with her actual personality for all the things she created around it. No one had ever told her they loved something so intimate as her very thought process or how easily she slipped from banal observations into questioning the nature of being. Regina's frown faded as she felt lightness pour into her from the undeniable force of Emma's cheeky smile.

"I would really like it if you let me kiss you" Emma said "If that's ok. If it's not that's ok too. I mean, that didn't make sense, but you know what I mean"

Regina smiled slowly answer, enjoying the awkward phrasing of Emma's proposition for as long as possible. "I would really like that too" 

Emma's eyes sparkled again. "Really?" She asked. She didn't mean it as a question, second guessing her and Regina knew it. She couldn't quite believe her own luck. 

Regina couldn’t help but think of Emma’s smug smile when she had Regina's favourite dessert made at a restaurant where it wasn't on the menu. "You'd be surprised what you get when you just ask" she had said.

Regina could have pulled her right across the table by the slim tie she wore with her designed suit. Instead she had narrowed her eyes and watched Emma lap up the change in her expression. "I'm not sure it's the same for everyone, dear. Not everyone can look like you" 

Regina didn't answer her, she just waited patiently for her to take what she had so nicely asked for. Emma didn't hesitate long. She crawled across the sofa to where Regina sat. She moved the bowl out of the way and placed a hand on either side of Regina as she turned to face her.

Regina watched her carefulness, like the moment was delicate and she worth taking her time over. Emma brushed aside the strands of hair that fell by Regina's face. She drew a deep breath and let it go like it was the first time she had breathed in months. Regina felt a sudden rush of nerves under such attention until Emma finally leant in.

Emma’s lips were slightly parted, slightly smiling and millimetres away from her own when Henry burst into the room. Emma nearly fell off the couch in surprise.

“He-Henry? Are you ok?”

Emma drew herself back into a normal sitting position and swished her hands through her hair, suddenly on edge. “Yeah kid, what’s up?”

“I want to talk about this” He held up the story book. The concern in Regina’s eyes melted into something else. Fear and vulnerability. Her every defense was lowered to Henry. She sat up straight and motioned for him to sit with her. He chose the armchair instead. Emma could hardly watch Regina nod in acceptance and say nothing.

“I’ll make some tea, or something” Emma rose to her feet and watched them both as she headed for the kitchen. Neither of them were listening to her.

-

Regina and Henry stayed in the living room for a long time. The book was out, and so were all it’s secrets. 

"I don't know where the book came from, but everything written in it so far is true. It conveniently lacks a lot of context and backstory that might depolarise the heroes and villains aspect, but I was undeniably a villain and a terrible person."

Henry stared open-mouthed, relieved and horrified in equal measure. "You ruined people's lives"

"Yes I did" Regina conceded, her voice only shaking slightly 

"You killed people!" He shouted

Regina swallowed. "Yes" she said quietly "that is something I can never put right."

Tears raged from Henry's eyes. "You're not even denying it! Why aren't you fighting?" 

"The only way to be truly sorry for what you have done is to accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences"

"Why did you do it?" He sobbed

She desperately wanted to reach out to comfort him, to wipe his tears away, to squeeze him until he felt safe and happy again, but she knew she couldn't. He had purposefully put distance between them. She wondered if he learned that from Emma's instincts for defence.

"I was in a dark, dark place. Terrible things happened to me"

His empathetic nature flared and she saw softness in his eyes before they hardened again. "That doesn't make it ok" he said angrily

"I know that. But the things that happened to me lead me to..." She remembered holding daniel's lifeless body, shoving Cora through a mirror as darkness took its first bite out of her, the beat of her father’s heart in her hand. "They lead me to bad choices. Nevertheless, choices I made and I can pin blame on no one but myself"

Henry's balled his hands into fists and pressed them into his eyes. His face was streaked with tears that he had not let impede their discussions.

"Henry please" she reached across the space to touch his leg

"No!" He leapt away "you're a bad person! You're evil and I hate you!"

And with that he ran from the room. She listened to his feet pound the staircase and the slam of his bedroom door. She slid from her place on the sofa into the deep armchair he had sat in. She curled into the space, feeling the last of the warmth his body had left there. Of all the heartache she had suffered in her life she knew she had endured worse than this, but she could not remember when.

Emma's hand pressed into her chest as she imagined what Regina must be feeling. She waited in the adjacent kitchen a moment longer before pushing through to the living room. It was a moment before she noticed Regina curled up on the chair. It was so big and in it she seemed so small.

"Hey" Emma said, sliding into the seat beside her. They weren’t back together since their almost-kiss, and she knew it. She refrained from pulling her right into her arms. She stroked her hand and squeezed it in reassurance. "He didn't mean it, he's just angry" 

"He did mean it" Regina whispered, not opening her eyes though her brow wrinkled.

Emma hesitated, unsure of crossing boundaries. More than anything she wanted to sweep her up and kiss her pain away. "Can I hug you?" 

Regina opened her eyes and sat up. She considered Emma for a moment before nodding consent. Emma’s arms slid around her like they belonged there. She pulled them together like they made no sense apart. Regina's legs found their way around Emma. She buried her face in her neck and let herself be held.

Emma was beyond pleased with the koala hug she had been desperate for. She held Regina tightly, her arms firmly wrapped around her middle, hands settled one on her back and one on her hip. She felt Regina shake slightly. She was crying, she knew, but without sound, and maybe without tears. 

"I'll fix this" Emma said quietly. She felt her breathing change and continued before she could be interrupted. "I will. He might be a mature kid but there's a lot he has to learn about forgiveness and I am going to get him there. This curse hasn't hurt him half as much as it has hurt me-"

Regina tried to pull back and she let her until they were face to face but no further, like that was all the distance she could manage.

"Emma" Regina croaked

"Wait" Emma said "I'm not done.” She looked at Regina's face. The wrinkle of concern between her eyebrows, the hint of pink at the end of her nose, her eyes widened in sadness and anticipation. "My life has been hard, but it has not been bad, Regina. Henry has had the life I dreamed of for him and I will never stop being grateful for that. My point is, I forgive you."

Regina's lips parted gently in surprise, like she couldn't quite let herself believe what she was hearing. She searched Emma's eyes. 

"I forgive what this curse has done to me and my life. I know it wasn't you. I think some people just are evil" Regina practically flinched at the word "But you have a capacity for love so deep, I know you're not one of them. You are, under all your dark lipstick and scary queen past, you are a good person. I know you would do anything for Henry and he knows it. That's not evil, it's love and understanding. He's just angry. Give him time. He'll forgive you t-"

The rest of her sentence disappeared into Regina's mouth. Emma was startled at first, having been so careful to respect Regina's boundaries but all thought of them went out of her head and she pulled Regina back into her. The kiss was loving, passionate but gentle, grateful and desperate, it was the only way Regina could express the feelings that flooded her. They pulled each other closer, like any space between them was too much. Little sighs and noises escaped from both of them. Regina kissed her like she would never get enough. It ended with their foreheads pressed together as they tried to catch their breath.

"I missed you" Emma said

Regina didn't reply lest the throb in her chest turn to a sob in her mouth. They stayed curled up in one another, just enjoying the feel of togetherness and the emotional high they were both experiencing. 

"I'm gonna go talk to him" Emma said eventually "I don't know what I'll say, but..." She trailed off, untangling herself from the woman she desperately wanted to remain tangled with.

"You'll find the right words" Regina said in a low, calm voice "you always do, in your own way, you always say precisely the right thing"

Regina touched her cheek gently and Emma turned into it, kissed her hand and climbed to her feet.

-

"Running away?" Emma asked as she watched Henry shove random articles he thought he needed into an old Spider-Man rucksack.

"I'm coming back to live with you"

Emma's chest clenched. Regina would never accept that and Emma didn't want her to have to.

"Henry" Emma sat on the bed and helped him pile the alarming amount of socks he had compiled into every nook of the bag.

"What?" He asked sharply. He looked so like Regina Emma forgot they weren’t related.

"Your anger is understandable. You're entitled to your feelings about this. No one is trying to stop you from having them"

"She is! She's lying about regretting what she's done! She has to be so we think she's changed but she hasn't"

He needs her to be the villain so there's somewhere for his anger to go. God he's like me, she thought.

"Why do you think she's lying?"

"She's a villain, and they always lie"

"Can't you tell when she's lying?" He screwed his face up. "Kid, she loves you"

"No she doesn't! Look at all the horrible things she's done! She can't love me, she can't love anyone!"

Emma looked away from him. She didn't think that was true but still the idea that it could be made her heart sore. "Henry"

"No! I'm not staying here!" 

-

Regina's face when Emma told her fell from fragile hope to utter betrayal.

"Regina, please, it won't be forever, just until he comes round"

"And what if that's never?" she asked watching him pull on his smart little coat with his back to her

"It won't be" Emma tried to take her hands but Regina pulled them away

"Don’t" she said "I can't believe I actually thought I could-" she stopped herself

"Thought you could what?" Emma asked, wanting closure from her insult so she could refute it with love and tenderness. 

Regina turned to face her, her mouth twisted almost into a snarl. "I let myself trust you"

Emma’s heart sank a little. She thought she was going to say love. "You can" she pleaded "why don't you come back with us?"

"That would rather ruin things with the sheriff don't you think?"

That stung. "That's not fair"

"You don't want me to give you a list of all the things I have found not to be fair, Deputy Swan" Maybe he gets that intentional distancing from me, she thought."You'd be here far beyond your welcome"

Emma searched her face looking for a hint of something, anything to hold onto but couldn't find it. The vulnerability Regina has shown her earlier was gone. She was certain she regretted it. She rubbed the spot on her chest directly above the aching pain she felt there.

 

-

"That sounds really difficult. I'm sorry that happened to you" Mary Margaret said, pouring freshly boiled water into cups on the counter.

"I just...I felt like everything might be ok. Every time that happens I do something else to fuck it up even more. How do I do this every time? Should I have made him stay? Told him he wasn't welcome at home-at my home" she quickly corrected

Mary Margaret looked at her sympathetically "I think you made the right choice. What does your gut tell you?"

"Forget my gut, my own experiences tell me if a kid needs to run they'll run. If I hadn't let him come back with me he'd have gone to someone else. Maybe you. I doubt you need Regina breaking down your front door" Mary Margaret sipped her tea and smiled at the terrifying but amusing idea. "Or worse, Graham. God I don't think he'd survive it"

Mary Margaret tipped her head towards the sofa and Emma followed her over. She settled in the armchair while Emma collapsed onto the sofa. She hated seeing her friend like this, but couldn't help enjoy how comfortable Emma was here, to treat her apartment like her own.

"Do you think you'll work it out?"

Emma lay on her back with her arm hung over her eyes. "Well, we're either going to work it out and be ok or fuck it up so completely it'll ruin both our lives and probably Henry's. We might actually be closer to the second one at this point"

"What’s the next step?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's the next obstacle?"

"This isn't a Playstation game, Mary Margaret, it doesn't work like that. Although if it did, this would be the final boss level, with one hand behind your back" They both heard Henry snigger from the kitchen. "Kid?"

"Hey, ice cream?" He asked, hoping to distract them from the fact that he had definitely been eavesdropping.

"No thanks bud, you done your homework?"

He rolled his eyes, just like Regina, Emma's heart clenched. "Yeah" he said with exasperation

"Ok" she sat up. "Oh hey I forgot my tea. Do you actually like tea?" She asked, sipping it reluctantly.

"Yes I do, and you've drunk me out of hot chocolate"

Emma smiled "Sorry, I'll get you some more" 

"Don't worry about it"

"I'll be there in a minute" she said to Henry as he loitered by the door.

"So what's going on with you and you know who?" Emma asked quietly

Mary Margaret tapped her arm in dismissal and tried to hide her smile. "Nothing" she said, turning back to Emma with a set mouth but her eyes sparkled.

"Uhuh" Emma said "convincing. Next time"

Mary Margaret cocked an eyebrow for a moment. "See you at school tomorrow, Henry"

"Who is you know who?” Henry asked as the door closed behind them

"He who must not be named"

"I don't mean Vol-"

"He must not be named!" Emma shouted across him and Henry burst out laughing. "You've got your mom's hearing for sure, but you lack her tact"

"I get that from you then" he replied as she kneed him gently in the backside as they crossed the threshold to their home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated pretty recently so make sure you didn't miss the other one! This is a long chapter compared to the others.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos!

"Madam Mayor, it is such an overwhelming relief and honour to have you back" Sidney fawned as he carried an enormous bouquet into the hall and placed it on the table.

"There really is no need for all this, Sidney" she waved her hand in his general direction

"The people of the town are rejoicing at your return, it's a humble token of their...our gratitude"

"You mean I won't find this on the townhall gifts ledger?"

He was positively sweating. Of course he would claim back the expense, he was cunning and only paid the wage of a journalist afterall. 

"I...it would...the town..."

"Don't worry about it, Sidney" Caught out once she thought it was unlikely he'd do it again, and she didn't really want to send the flowers back. Now that she looked at them she noticed the peonies were just about to bloom. "I do have rather a lot to get to so if you could make the update brief I would appreciate it"

"Yes Madam Mayor. I believe the schoolteacher Mary Margaret Blanchard is having an affair with David Nolan, Kathryn's husband"

Regina frowned. Of course, they shared true love. She hoped Kathryn was ok and made a mental note to have her secretary arrange lunch for them next week. 

"There was a great success at the psychiatric unit with patient Lacey French making a full recovery. She is out of hospital and has full home support to return her to life outside"

Oh god, Belle. 

"I'll need a meeting with her too" Regina said quietly to herself. Sidney looked confused "to see how she is" she added quickly "and if there's anything the town can do for her.” Her stomach lurched at the idea of trapping someone in a hospital room for 28 years, but she couldn’t let the mask slip in front of Sidney. “It truly is remarkable, she must have worked hard to get to where she is now. We'll make sure she has everything she needs to help with her rehabilitation”

She hadn't forgotten what she had done to these people but God, it must have been a dull memory. Now it was all being dragged into sharp focus. She had to figure out a way to fix this.

"And the sheriff has made a questionable choice appointing a deputy I had the foresight to run a background check on. The woman who claims to be your friend from out-of-town." He rolled his eyes as if he didn’t believe Regina would degrade herself with such an association "She's been to prison, worked as a bounty hunter and made a lot of powerful friends. She set up some sort of consultancy and now she's trusted with the safety of our town while engaging in a relationship with the sheriff"

Regina's eyes remained fixed on Sidney though she wasn’t seeing him. 

"I can see that you are as distressed by this as I am, Madam Mayor. I took the liberty to draw up a campaign to have her ousted from the office and-"

"Wait"

Emma enjoyed her job, she knew. She got to be active and meet people and she fit the hours around Henry. She liked the town and had an innate ability to see solutions through problems which gave her a real sense of achievement. She didn't want to take that from her...or did she? 

She deserves it, said a voice in her mind.

"Just...don't do anything yet"

-

“Nice flowers” Emma said, eyeing the floral invasion in the hallway. Regina didn’t wait for her to come in, leaving her at the door and making her way to the home office she had been working from part time. She had to put on the appearance of recovery while she had actually already used magic to heal herself.

“Sidney. He came by to give me an update on recent events”

“I thought you’d, you know, have that covered”

Regina sighed, not deigning to respond “He is also concerned that you are publicly galavanting with the sheriff” she had her back to Emma and appeared to be reading through a file.

 

"Yeah, so concerned he ran a three page special on it" the newspaper she had been carrying landed with a smack on Regina's desk. She glanced down and saw the accompanying photo. It was Graham and Emma holding coffee and laughing. It was a lovely picture. Emma's eyes were closed and her smile wide. Graham was looking at her like he was basking in it. They looked more like newlyweds than the police department.

"Maybe he's right" Regina looked back at the file she held, eyes fixed on her work though all she could see was Emma's laugh. She knew it was taken right before she did an accidental snort. She forced her smile away remembering it was Graham she laughed with, not her.

"It's more complicated that that" Emma said. She had no idea if Regina was listening, if she wanted to talk about this, if she wanted to know at all. "He's my friend and we...I don't know, bonded. He was really there for me when I needed and I can't just ignore that. He's been different since you gave him his heart back. It's super complicated now actually." There was no response. "I just need time to figure out, like, everything. I know you probably can't understand why I let it get this far-" 

“No, Deputy Swan, I can’t” she closed the file and turned to look at her. One hand rested on her desk, the other on her hip. She waited. Emma swallowed.

"The last time we had talked about us you said you didn't want to be a couple, it was just sex. Every night you lay in that bed and all I could think was would you even want me there?”

Regina was inscrutable. Silence rang in Emma’s ears as she waited for a reply.

“Deputy, if you don't have anything work related to discuss please see yourself out. I have a lot of more important things to get to”

“Yeah" Emma laughed bitterly and turned away "I heard”

“Excuse me?”

“You know what? Fuck it, talking like adults doesn’t seem to work with you so here goes. I fucking heard what has been happening since you came back. Some girl was in a psych unit this entire time but has miraculously been healed. I assume that’s part of the curse? What was she? Ones of your maids who folded your bed down wrong? Graham has a heart again which means he's feeling again for the first time in 28 years, he thinks he’s losing his mind. How come Sidney crawls up in here with half of the Chelsea fucking Flower Show to report back these horrors as town gossip?” Her chest heaved when she was finished. Regina watched her for a moment, expression unchanged.

"He's in love with me. He has been for a very long time"

"I bet everyone in this town has been in love with you at some point, before you screwed each one over in your own special way"

Regina's eyes narrowed. "Some are more forgiving than others"

Emma almost blushed at the reminder of her words. She dropped her eyes to the floor, suddenly deflated. "I meant what I said"

"I'm sure you thought you did, though it didn't stop you taking my son as some kind of reparation and it hasn't stopped your anger towards me from growing"

"I'm not angry-"

"Oh of course you are." Regina slapped the file down on her desk and walked dangerously up to Emma. "You may have forgiven what I did to you, but you can't forgive what I've done to others. You have that burning righteous rage in your heart that compels you to act, but you don't know what to do with it, hence your frustration"

They were only inches apart. Emma felt a pull towards her like a magnet but didn't move. She held her keys so tight in her fist they were starting to hurt. "How do you know that?" 

"Because you are your parents’ child and they have a habit of making other people's business their own"

"So I shouldn't be worrying about how to break the curse to set everyone free?"

Regina smiled ruefully, head tipping to one side "My son has finally gotten through to you then, saviour?"

"Our son" Emma corrected "and you said he was right"

"He was right about a lot, but not about how to break the curse. I'm sure he has told you that i have to be killed to break it?"

Emma swallowed which was enough of a reply. Regina hummed and stepped back. 

"Well that's not entirely true" she said walking over to her desk again "that is one way to break it but if someone is going to die, they need to willingly give themselves. Murdering me will just leave this town without a Mayor and Henry without a subject for target practice"

She had turned away to avoid the sympathy she knew was in Emma's eyes. She didn't want anything from that woman, anything that would confuse the rage she felt within her. Somewhere deep down she knew it wasn't Emma's fault, but she wasn't about to let that get in the way of blaming her. 

"Regina-"

"Get out" she replied without looking at her. Emma lingered for a moment longer, then sighed and left.

-

Regina managed to avoid Emma as she went back to work. Her secretary was instructed not to put through her calls and any time Emma came by she was "in a meeting". She couldn't justify her anger anymore. She knew none of this was Emma's fault. Her anger was at herself. She was angry at her inability to control her life and she was lost and lonely without her son. She was disgusted by Sidney who held a mirror up to the person she used to be. A lump formed in her throat whenever she thought of Emma. She couldn't remember anyone knowing her so well, putting this much effort into their relationship and she hated herself for pushing her away when all she wanted was to curl into her arms. Surely something would be better than nothing? Perhaps she could live with sharing. Her stomach turned over at the thought of Graham's hands on her. No she couldn't.

She made notes in fountain pen alongside her agenda points, checked her watch and smiled apologetically at the council members who talked among themselves as they waited. The door swung open and Emma was suddenly seating herself and apologising to people around the oval table.

"D-deputy, where's the Sheriff?" Regina stuttered uncharacteristically. 

"Graham couldn't make it" she said, glancing warily at Regina.

"Well" Regina's mask of indifference slid back into place. "A little later than usual, we may have to push agenda item six until next month"

"Oh, that was my point, I brought-"

"I hardly think it's fair to delay the start of the meeting and demand that you get to speak, costing others their slot" She cut Emma off, taking her momentary loss of composure out on her "let's not waste any more time"

Emma sighed audibly and turned the pages of her agenda. Regina allowed herself precisely two glances at her during the hour long meeting. She barely responded to her points when they were offered and she skipped item 6 altogether.

"Any other business?" She asked at the end of the meeting, scanning the table. Emma sat forward to speak. "Fine, then the next meeting is four weeks today. Thank you all" she closed her ledger and was away in the blink of an eye.

"George, thank you for your input today" she said as she slipped past him and out of the door. She stalked as quickly as she could while maintaining her air of authoritatively. The last thing she needed while she ran away was to look like she was running away.

She could feel her cheeks blush and hoped her foundation hid it. The sudden injection of Emma and her smile and voice and eyes threw her completely. She had just about held it together for the meeting. Graham she could handle any day of the week, but Emma?

Her heels struck the marble floor and resounded as pleasingly as always. She walked with the swinging confidence she always did, smiling knowingly at her staff and colleagues as she passed them. Internally she was panicking.

She ducked into the restroom, locked the door and breathed out. Her heart fluttered horribly in her chest, reverberating down to her stomach and up to her throat. She put the toilet lid down and sat trying to control her breathing.  
_  
It's fine,_ she thought, _I'm fine, everything is fine._

She was conscious of how long was an appropriate time to spend in the bathroom, worrying about it at the back of her mind as more pressing things harassed her.

Emma in her stupid leather jacket, swaggering in late and looking like that. She had her hair up in a loose pony, with some curls dangling free, framing her face. Regina knew from seeing her do it that she just threw it up, somehow it looked incredible. Her shy smiles around the table at counsellors she hardly knew but somehow had relationships with.

She exhaled slowly in a silent whistle, flushed the toilet and washed her hands.

She checked her make up and grinned widely to check her teeth too. There was a glint in the eyes of her reflection that disturbed her. She could feel her magic roiling under her skin, darkness feeding off her anxiety. It told her to lash out, to hurt, to take what she wanted and leave the rest for whoever was left. 

“No” she whispered, but the smirk remained on the face of her reflection “if you are so strong” she spoke to the mirror and held her hand out, palm facing up “make my hand into a fist” she watched as her fingers remained straight out though her fingertips tingled painfully with magic crying to escape. “That’s what I thought” she said to herself after a moment. “I am in control”

She turned away from the mirror, took a deep breath and opened the door. 

"Regina!" She almost leapt out of her skin.

"Are you trying to kill me, Deputy Swan?" She didn't stop to talk, heading out of the building instead. She was halfway down the steps before Emma got in front of her.

"What is it?" she sighed

"I'd really like it if we could talk" Emma gave a small smile

"Call my secretary" Regina stepped to the side but Emma followed, continuing to block her path. She frowned.

"I've tried, I think you blacklisted me"

"Well who wouldn't?" Regina said looking around to see if anyone was observing the scene Emma was creating. She just needed to get away.

"Come round for dinner" Emma seemed to tell rather than ask

"Don't be absurd"

"Then come to the station? Or meet me in the diner. It's less private I guess but-"

"Fine! Your apartment then. Stop holding me hostage on the steps of my own building"

Emma smiled and hopped to the side "It's number four!" She called happily after her

"I know what number it is" Regina huffed without looking back.

-

Regina dithered for a moment at Emma's apartment door. _Why am I doing this to myself? I should have cancelled. This is a terrible idea._ She gave herself a couple more seconds then knocked.

"Hey" Emma smiled brightly at her when she opened the door. 

It dazzled Regina. She was glad when Emma rushed back to the kitchen leaving her standing in the doorway with what must have been a ridiculous expression. She hated how Emma could catch her off guard like that.

"Dinner will be ready in two minutes"

Regina closed the door behind her. Emma's apartment looked like Snow's, though it seemed warmer. There was a plant or two (Henry’s suggestion), a messy stack of CDs on a sideboard (all Emma’s) and a comfy looking sofa (Mary Margaret’s insistence that bean bags are not adequate if you ever want houseguests). Regina didn't need to look around. She knew every detail of the apartment already, having seen Emma here a hundred times before.

It was a nice change from the lonely mansion that seemed bigger and emptier than ever before. Time spent alone there was taking its toll on her. She had been avoiding Emma so she wouldn't have to face the woman she cared so much for and who had chosen another. She also couldn't bear to be around anyone else. The only exception to this was Henry who despite her best efforts did not want to see her at present. She just about tolerated Hopper.

_  
"I can see you've done a lot of work on yourself while you have been away” he had said “maybe a break was exactly what you needed. You're like a different person. I remember your last session like it was yesterday"_

_"I bet you do" she had replied smugly.  
_

"Do you want something to drink?" Emma asked, without turning round. What she was working on seemed to require all of her attention.

"Red wine, if you're drinking" Regina replied. Emma pulled two glasses from a cupboard and filled them while still stirring at the stove.

Regina leant on the counter nearby. This was the first chance she had had to look at Emma -really look at her- without the fear of someone seeing. She wore a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up. No tank tops tonight, Regina noted and wondered what that meant. Maybe she was making an effort, or maybe she was just back from visiting someone else who she was making an effort for.

Regina let her eyes roll over her shoulders, down her back, they hugged her waist and trickled down her hips, they traced the shape of her bum and legs. She missed her. All of her missed all of Emma. Her skin remembered the feel of Emma's arms tightening around her as the big spoon so vividly it could almost have been happening right then. Emma turned and caught Regina looking, mercifully she had been on her shoes at that point. _Heels..._

"Ready" 

Regina followed her to the table, set for two. "Where's Henry this evening?" She asked. A pang of annoyance rang through her. If Emma didn't have time for him, why didn't Regina have him? She had nothing but time and a desire to spend it with her son.

"Doing homework at Mary Margaret's. I said we needed to talk, I hope that's ok?" Emma asked

"I suppose it'll have to be" Regina replied, unable to shake the uncomfortable feeling that seemed to stick in her chest.

Emma didn't reply. She picked up her fork and began twirling spaghetti on it. Regina did the same, though she used her fork to pick up spaghetti and the spoon to twirl it around. Emma forwent the spoon and turned her fork on her plate. She wasn't sure what to expect from the tomato sauce on top.

"This is delicious!" She exclaimed after one mouthful.

"You don't have to be so surprised!" Emma laughed

"Sorry" Regina replied, surprised by her own outburst "it is wonderful, what is it?"

"I made the recipe up. The secret is how you cook the garlic, and always to use fresh basil" Emma said, very pleased with herself

"I wish I had let you cook for me sooner"

Emma smiled dazzlingly again.  
_  
What am I doing? Keep your mouth shut! Oh god, just don’t look at her. She's not yours to look at, to be cooked for by._

"What was it you wanted to discuss?" Regina asked trying desperately not to fall headlong into Emma’s eyes by changing the subject and becoming very concerned with her fork and spoon again.

The enjoyment Emma had been feeling visibly slid from her face. "Um, well kind of everything. I don't think things are working"

Regina bristled "What isn't working for you?" She asked sharply.

What more can I possibly give you? Her mind asked

"Well, a lot of things. I don't think you're happy and I want to change that"

"I don't see how my happiness is your concern, shall we move onto something a little more attainable? How long are you going to let Henry hide here until he comes home?"

Emma was on the back foot but responded quickly enough "Your happiness is important to me, we're not tabling-"

"You have everything Emma" Regina cut her off "what more do you want?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You have Henry, your job, your friends, the whole town loves you-"

"Are you jealous?" Emma asked, not convinced by her own question

"Your parents, your boyfriend” she spat the last word out like it tasted bad on her tongue “What else can I possibly give you? You have taken everything"

They stared at each other for a moment.

"I...didn't realise you felt that way" Emma said

"My feelings are not y-"

"Not my concern? Obviously they are because everything is something I've done to you, apparently. I looked after Henry even though I was terrified and freaking out and you think that’s me stealing him away? I've met my parents who don't know who they are or who I am, lucky me! What the fuck, Regina? How can you think this has all worked out so well for me?"

"You chose this"

"I chose nothing!" Emma was on the very edge of losing her temper. "What choice did you give me? All I'm doing is trying to be your goddamn friend. Who knows why I’m bothering? I don't want to care about why you're avoiding me but I do!"  
__  
Screw it, said the voice in Regina’s head, _if she wants honesty give it to her, see how she feels then. She deserves to feel bad about this, stop protecting her._  
  
"For myself, Emma. I'm avoiding you so I don't have to think about you, so I can carry on with my day and not have to remember how wonderful things were before we came here, how different. You are a constant reminder of what I have lost and it is unbearable, so I have just cut you out. I miss Henry, I miss our old life" I miss you, she wanted to say. I desperately miss you.

"Do you know what missing someone like that is like?" Regina asked

Emma nodded and dropped her eyes to the table. Her face fell as she picked up tiny grains of salt on her fingertips and dropped them onto her empty plate.

Regina felt like her heart was shredding itself to bits watching sadness well up on Emma's face, in the crease in her brow and the subtle tug to the corner of her mouth. She wanted to reach across the table and hold her hand, to kiss the melancholy off her face, to make her feel good again.

Have we gone too far for that? She wondered as she teetered on the edge of her resolve. The distance between them was nothing. There was nothing in her way. She jumped as Emma's phone buzzed on the table. She had been so deep in her own thoughts it shocked her quickly back to reality.

Graham's face filled the screen. Regina felt her chest deflate. Maybe Emma had dressed up for him. She turned her head away and sat back in her chair.

"Regina it's not what you think" Emma said. She pressed the lock button and the screen went black.

How could she have been so stupid? It was far too late, Emma had moved on. She stood.

"Please don't go" Emma said standing too

The last spark of hope that Regina had kept secret even from herself was stamped completely out. It left a burning, smoking ache in her chest. She couldn't help but look at the woman approaching her. Her shirt was buttoned pretty low, Regina could see smooth skin she once kissed. Her sleeves were rolled up and Regina noticed her wrists. She had always liked them, kind of bony and elegant.

She had been far too honest this evening. Could she even trust herself to speak? She turned, walked towards the door and resolved to make sure she didn't see Emma again for a long time after this. Emma was right behind her when she turned the handle. Emma reached over her shoulder and slammed the door shut, pulling the door knob from Regina's grip.

"For fucks sake Regina, wait!"

She was mad, Regina loved this side of her. She was usually so relaxed about everything, so chilled. “Nonchalant as fuck” Emma once said. It was exciting to see her riled up. Her body language changed, she took control, her tone, stance and face all changed. She stood between Regina and the closed door, ominous and fierce.

"We need to talk, we need to..." She looked around for the word she wanted.

"Miss Swan get out of my way" Regina fell back on staple coldness, needing to get out, get away. Her hands practically buzzed with magic trying to get out.

"What the fuck is up with calling me Miss Swan, Mayor Mills?” Emma sneered “Make me"

Her hands were on her hips, feet planted and chin raised in defiance. Regina clenched her jaw to keep from biting her lip. Fuck. There were a thousand things she wanted to make Emma do in that moment. She could definitely make her move from the door. Emma was stronger physically but Regina had magic.

She took a step towards her, placed her hand flat on Emma's chest and let some of her frustration slip through her fingers. She felt hot, prickling relief as it throbbed from her fingertips into Emma's skin.

"I will if I have to" Regina said threateningly.

Emma stood the stinging heat as long as she could, before grabbing Regina's wrists and pushing her back so that their bodies collided briefly. Regina stepped back to steady herself as a shock went through her at the contact. Emma held her wrist tightly but she could get free if she wanted, she could hurt her if she wanted.  
_  
Go on._ The voice in her head said, though she barely registered it. 

Emma had regained control of her temper though her eyes still burned. There was no way this overwhelming sexual tension was just coming from her. She could feel it going both ways. She could feel Regina’s pulse quicken.

In a moment of weakness Regina glanced at Emma’s lips. She remembered how they felt, how they tasted and she wanted them. In an instant they were hers. It wasn’t just in her head. Emma still held her wrist as she turned and slammed them into the door, crushing herself against Regina.

The noise Regina let out was a combination of relief, pleasure and guilt. If she had been capable of thinking, of controlling herself she would have stopped this. What would her poor heart do when this was over? But her mind was consumed by the urgency of Emma’s hands all over her and the release that came from her kisses. 

Emma kissed her neck and grasped for the hem of her dress. She found it and slid her hands groping up her legs. Her nails snagged on the lace tops of her suspenders.

“Oh fuck, Regina” Emma breathed into her. Regina bit her lip as she smiled. “Oh my god” her fingernails scratched the soft inside of Regina’s thigh. Regina gasped.

Fingertips brushed the lace of her underwear and Regina shuddered. Emma pressed gently and she moaned. She rubbed and Regina pulled them tightly together.

“Fuck, I need you, now” Regina hummed consent against ferocious kisses. Emma spun her around in one swift movement, lifted her dress and grinded against her, pressing her hard into the door. Regina gasped. Emma smacked her lace covered cheeks before pushing her underwear aside and sliding a finger underneath. Regina convulsed as a finger drew up her and circled her clit.

“Fuck” Emma said again, sliding into her. She was hot and wet and beyond ready, she was on the verge of begging Emma to get inside her when she finally did. She added another finger, hooked her arm around Regina’s waist and pulled her away from the door slightly. She held her where she wanted and Regina instinctively bent to give Emma the angle she needed. Regina needed it too, more than anything. 

The hand resting on her stomach slid into the front of her underwear. Her legs shook at the friction, until Emma slide her fingers down to collect some of Regina’s wetness. She slipped it effortlessly over and around her clit. It felt so good it burned. Emma thrust behind her, making her own grunts of satisfaction that Regina loved. Her breathing changed, her body shook. 

It wasn't just the overwhelming physical sensation, it was the noises Emma made while she wasn't even being touched, it was the way she read Regina so well, it was the taste of her lips and the smell of her skin. Regina came feeling more complete and whole than she could remember, Emma in and against her. Emma held her, kissing her neck while she trembled in the aftershocks that gentle fingers drew out of her.

She reached out for the door, sliding from Emma's support and let herself fall slowly as she turned until she touched the floor, her back against the door. Every inch of her tingled, from her head to her toes to her nipples straining hard against the confines of her bra. 

Emma stood over her, panting just the same. Regina reached up to unbutton her jeans. She wasn’t even wearing underwear.

“Come here” Regina commanded and Emma stepped forward. She tugged the jeans down a little.

“What are you-ahh!” Emma began but couldn’t finish. 

Regina up on her heels and plunged her tongue deep into her. Emma stumbled and slammed her hands into the door for support.

The craving Regina had known but not wanted to address was finally to be satiated. The taste, the feel, the smell of Emma was everything she wanted. Everything was right, everything made sense. Regina knew exactly what noises her actions would elicit. She knew she would soon feel Emma’s hands in her hair, caressing but lustful. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she could only feel this way with Emma, and she never wanted it to end. She tried to draw it out but Emma couldn’t help herself. She slid her fingers through Regina’s hair and she pressed herself harder to her.

Her moans set Regina on fire. If Emma touched her again she was sure she would come in an instant. She flattened her tongue against Emma’s clit and let her ride against it. She had only relinquished control like this a few times. She let Emma take what she wanted. She let herself be used. It was hot but it scared her too. Emma’s movements got quicker and more urgent. Regina closed her eyes, lost herself in Emma’s groans of pleasure. She slowed and Regina felt her trying to draw out her orgasm. She swirled her tongue around her clit slowly and she cried out. Her nails scraped Regina's scalp and she repeated the swirl. The noises that poured from Emma were wordless, formless but Regina understood them. They were desperate, aching, loving and the final throws of her climax. Regina withdrew, licking her lips and Emma leant her head against the door, panting.

“God, Regina” she whispered.

She watched Emma’s satisfied face with complete elation. She struggled to catch her breath and Regina could still taste her. _Bliss,_ she thought. This might be heaven. She had no idea how long she watched Emma catch her breath, she wanted to hold onto it forever. 

A knock at the door made them both jump. Regina leapt to her feet, wiped her mouth and adjusted her dress. Emma buttoned her jeans.

“Emma?” Graham’s voice came through the door before either of them could check who it was.

Oh yes, the small detail of Emma’s boyfriend. Regina felt the air knocked out of her lungs. It was all she could to to stay standing. Emma’s hands flew to her face, hands that still held remnants of Regina’s pleasure.

“Graham what are you doing here?” she opened the door, but not enough to let him in.

“You didn’t answer your phone” he said “is everything alright?” he asked, looking past her to see Regina glaring at him.

“So you just came over? Everything is fine, can we talk tomorrow? I’m kind of busy.” She set her foot down on her side of the door in case he insisted.

“Are you sure everything is alright?”

“Yes, please go away” Emma pleaded. 

After another moment of staring at Regina he complied and she shut the door. They heard his footfall all the way down the steps. The silence in the room was ugly and unbearable. If what she felt before was the burn of a smouldering ember, what she felt now was the blackened shell of a burned out building.

“I can’t do this with you, Emma.” Regina said finally in a low rumble. “I can’t be caught in this-“ she stretched her fingers out looking for a word to fit what this dynamic was.

“This tug of war for your affections, with Graham” she spat out his name like it tasted bad. It made her skin crawl just to think about the way he looked at Emma, like she was his to protect, like she needed protecting in the first place.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Emma asked

“You started this” Regina said, though she was long past blaming Emma for what had happened. Her footing in this argument was not secure, she needed to get out of it as soon as possible, get out of there as quickly as she could. “I am ending it.” She finished and turned the handle of the door. Emma didn’t slam it shut this time.

“How can you be like this?” Emma shouted “How can you be so fucking empty of any feeling? This is why Henry hates you!” Regina froze “Oh fuck. I didn’t mean that” she said quickly “Regina I’m sorry”

Regina turned and stared at her. Her eyes were black as coals and Emma felt the depth of the hurt she had just caused reverberate through her.

“Mom?” Henry’s voice came through the crack of the door. Regina pulled it open all the way and there stood their son. His eyes were filled with tears and his cheeks were red. He glared at Emma who burned with shame.

“I didn’t mean it, Henry” 

He looked at Regina like he might break his silence with her, then turned and ran back down the stairs. They heard Mary Margaret’s door open and slam closed again.

“You might think I feel nothing, Emma.” Regina’s voice was barely audible “You might think it is easy for me to see you around with Graham, having ice cream with my son, watching the way you look at me as you leave with him. You might think none of this gets to me. Well I have news for you, I feel everything. I used to be incredibly good at at least looking like I felt nothing until you crashed into my life” Hot tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over but she couldn’t let them go in Emma’s presence. “And now, you won’t even let me have that”

She was gone before Emma could say another word. The roar of her Mercedes filled the street outside. Emma stayed completely still, but for covering her face with her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm sorry! I'm not just going to torture them forever, things will get better, I promise!


	18. Chapter 18

Emma took a deep breath and knocked quietly on Mary Margaret's door. It was answered with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips.

"Can I come in?" she asked sheepishly. The door swung open in reply and Emma glanced around as she entered.

"He's upstairs" Mary Margaret said. 

Emma nodded. "You heard?" 

"Oh yes" Mary Margaret said. "Thankfully I heard before Henry did. He was more than a bit surprised when I turned the TV up to full blast and announced I loved the band that were playing. He thinks it's cool I'm into thrash-metal." Emma grimaced. "Yep" Mary Margaret settled herself stiffly on the sofa "you might want to be careful about things like having really loud sex while Henry is around. I mean god, how did you make so much noise? Did you do it in the hallway?"

"Almost" Emma replied, without even the good grace to be embarrassed. Mary Margaret sighed forcefully, "I'm sorry" Emma said "for the noise and" she gestured to the stairs "thank you for..."

"Saving him from being scarred for life? Oh you're welcome" she shook her head slightly as she turned back to the TV, now set to quiet.

“Mary Margaret” Emma sat with her “thank you for taking care of him. I didn’t mean for this to happen”

“Did you mean for any of it to happen? I mean, you invited her round when you know you have all these confusing feelings and had what sounded like extremely good, if a little violent, make-up sex and then Graham showed up! Have you told either of them anything? Emma, what are you doing?”

She tried to speak but nothing came out. She didn’t have an answer because she hadn’t figured it out yet. She had cried upstairs and washed her face (and hands) before coming down to get Henry. She didn’t want to cry again.

“I’m just…I can’t see a way through any of this. Not without hurting them. 10 minute ago I was dancing on the ceiling and now I feel like I’ve crashed through several floors and I’m somewhere in the basement, broken and fucked up but I don’t deserve for anyone to come and help me because somehow I did all of this. I felt like I could breathe when she was here. Like the metal band around my chest was gone and nothing mattered, it was just us.”

“Then tell her that!” Mary Margaret threw her hands up

“She hates me!”

“She can’t hate you that much, I mean, from the sound of things”

“It feels like she does. And I can’t blame her. And oh god, Graham has all these feelings that he doesn’t know what to do with. He came round because I didn’t answer my phone and he wanted to make sure I was ok”

“Wow that’s...a strong reaction”

“He’s just…” experiencing emotions for the first time in 30 years “He’s deep in it, you know? And I’m not, at least not like he is.But he makes me feel normal and safe. He’s been there for me.”

Mary Margaret picked up her hand and held it between her own. “He doesn’t have to make your heart sing, Emma. Making you feel ok is enough. But if she does, you have a decision to make. You can’t hedge any longer or you’ll lose them both. They are both already hurt, and so are you.”

Emma frowned hard to keep her tears back. “What would you do?”

“Well Regina scares the hell out of me so I’d choose Graham”

Emma smiled briefly “I don’t know what everyone’s so scared of.”

“Oh yeah, she’s a pussycat” Mary Margaret rolled her eyes and Emma wondered if she had ever heard anyone under the age of 65 use the word ‘pussycat’ “What’s the worst that could happen if you chose Regina?” 

“She could reject me, take Henry back, maybe send me out of town”

“Bleak” Mary Margaret said to herself “And if you chose Graham?”

She pictured telling Regina she had chosen him. That flicker of hope that Regina tried so hard to hide dying in her eyes. She saw her alone in her house while Emma went home to Graham’s safe embrace. Their nights of laughing, dancing, screaming against the city skyline fading away to nothing.

“I think you’ve made your decision, honey” Mary Margaret said, wiping away tears Emma hadn’t realised were falling.

“Everything has fallen apart.” She took a shaking breath in “How am I supposed to fix it? I don’t know how it got this far”

“Well, if everything has fallen apart you can rebuild it piece by piece. Forgive her, forgive yourself and start again” Emma hugged her.

“That sounds like good advice”

“Well according to Henry I am your mother” Emma heard the smile in her voice and smiled too. “Ruby and Ashley are coming over tomorrow night. We’re having a girls night and your attendance is compulsory” Mary Margaret smiled as they parted. 

“Uh, I don’t think-”

“Compulsory, Emma” she smiled again and Emma suddenly sympathised with Regina’s distaste for her. “Now go talk to Henry”

-

"Hey kid" Emma said as she ascended the stairs. There was no reply. She sat next to him on the bed as he played games on his phone. “Oh man that level is so hard, it took me like a month to get past it” He paused the game and sighed. “Henry I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I lost my temper and I lashed out. It was a horrible thing to say.”

"I don’t hate her" He said quietly

“I know you don’t” she brushed her fingers through his hair. “But she’s the one that needs to hear that, not me. We need to be better at this, we’re the good guys, right? She’s still your mom.”

She watched him pout as he tried not to cry. She could easily believe that Regina thought Henry hated her. He had hardly spoken to her since she told him the truth about the book. Emma rubbed her puffy eyes. She should have done something about this way before now. How had she let him behave that way? There’s giving kids autonomy and space and then there’s just letting them get away with their shit.

“Well, we’re going to fix this together. I think what makes someone good is that they try to be. Heroes don’t always succeed. What makes them heroes is when they fail today they try again tomorrow. Keeping going is the hardest part”

“What if villains try to be good? That doesn’t make them not villains.” he said, still not looking at her

“No, not overnight it doesn’t. We have to help them be better too” 

“I’m not just talking about my mom”

“Neither am I, but right now we have some making up to do”

“You’re the one that said it!”

“Kid” She looked pointedly at him and he dropped his gaze “you have a lot of feelings about this, complicated ones, and that’s ok. You’ve had time, you’ve had space but you’re still angry. There’s only one way to deal with this, and that’s actually dealing with it. My feelings and your mom’s feelings are mixed up and complicated too. We’re going to fix this together.”

“What if it can’t be fixed?” Well, she didn’t want to think about that.

“There’s only one way to find out”

-

Regina must have scraped at least a few moments of sleep because she jolted from such a depth of unconsciousness that she forgot where she was. She looked around the room. It was familiar, but where was she? The noise that had woken her chimed again. It was the grandfather clock in her entrance hall. She was at home in Storybrooke. Home, she thought. Henry? The image from her dream was upon her again and she shook her head to get rid of it.

She threw back her sheets and shivered. They, like her nightdress, were damp with sweat. She padded quietly down the hall, leaving her slippers a robe in the bedroom. Her steps on the dark wood floor were cold and quiet. She passed a mirror but dared not look in it. She didn’t think she would see herself walking past.

She opened the door to Henry’s room gently. He wasn’t there. A shock ran through her, where was he? Was he ok? The shock slowly subsided to the familiar ache that had made a home in her chest. No, he was with Emma. He was always with Emma now.

She closed the door and looked down into the hall. What time was it? Maybe she could go find an excuse to go over there, even if she had embarrassed herself last night. She just wanted to make sure he was ok. The image from her nightmare, her worst fear filled her mind again and she felt sick. She squinted at the clock. 2am. That was too late. Maybe she could text Emma to see if she was awake.

As her eyes dragged closed again she sat on the top step of her stairs and resolved to text as soon as she was back in her room. She hugged her knees and leant against the wall. She thought of the mirror again and they last time she sat on that step and of Emma.

The clock chimed again and she was shocked to wakefulness. 3am. She was freezing and stiff. She slowly unfolded her limbs that creaked with the cold and shuffled back to her room. She rushed past the mirror and could swear she heard a noise come from it. Something between a laugh and a shout. She pushed it out of her mind and closed her door. The sheets were still damp and cold. She climbed into the other side of the bed and pulled them tight around her.

“Not again” she whispered to the darkness around her, hoping harder than anything that she would not have the same dream again. Her and Henry curled up on the sofa, his body pale and cold.

When morning finally came Regina dressed wearily and plodded down the wide wooden staircase. It was hard to plod in heels, but she managed. She had decided to get out of her echoing home and go to the office early. She threw her mac around her shoulders and sighed before checking her make up in the hallway mirror out of habit. She didn’t look half as tired as she felt. When she opened the door the fresh, cold air of the morning hit her harder than any cup of coffee. It was refreshing and the glint of sunlight in the air seemed to fill her with a hopeful buzz. She felt her nightmares scatter into the shadows and she closed the door behind her with what was almost a smile. Making the most of the fresh morning she walked to the diner for what had been her usual coffee for 18 years. 

“Don’t worry about it, ma’am” Ruby said, passing her the cup while Regina looked for her wallet.

“Excuse me?” she asked, certain she had misheard.

“It’s on the house” Ruby smiled briefly before returning to the machine for the morning rush. “Have a nice day”

Regina watched her for a moment, wondering if she had misunderstood. No one else seemed to be getting free coffee. She left as Whale entered and he held the door open.

“Madam Mayor, good morning!” He said nervously

“Doctor” she said, barely looking as she left.

Her morning was relatively enjoyable. She lost herself in spreadsheets and bylaws and was surprised when her stomach rumbled, signalling time for lunch. She stopped by the diner before she planned to attend her appointment with Archie.

“This is on the house too” Ruby said, putting her salad down on the table of the window seat she had chosen.

“Really, Miss Lucas what is going on?” She asked. Ruby shrugged. “I’m not sure this is a sound business plan”

“You’ll have to eat a lot more kale if you’re going to bankrupt us, Madam Mayor.” Ruby smiled “There’s this too” She put a box on the table, it had a clear window in the top. Regina leant over it and gasped. She never indulged in pie other than her own classic apple. This one was cherry and looked divine. “It’s all paid for”

“Might I enquire as to whom?” Regina asked, wondering if the waitress had decided to act on the glint Regina occasionally saw in her eyes when they spoke.

“He didn’t give a name” Regina’s eyebrows rose “but he gave a generous tip in return that no one tell his mom who paid” She smiled and walked away. 

Butterflies flurried in her stomach. Henry? She put the pie in her bag and finished her salad, which seemed extra tasty today. She watched life go by in the town, smiling periodically and wondering if she and Henry could be happy after all.

-

Emma was surprised when she woke that morning to a message from Regina. It was brief, asking about arrangements for Henry to be given a lift to a sleepover that night. Emma was working until 7 so Regina would have him after school. Emma would pick him up and drop him off at the party on her way home. Her eyes stung as she squinted into the blinding brightness of her phone. The message was sent at 5.04am. She shook her head at Regina's ridiculously early morning, though something in the back of her mind bugged her. It probably wasn't just an early morning. She fell back asleep with the message still open.

-

When Henry answered the door of the mansion music greeted Emma before he did.

"Hey kid" she said, stepping inside. "You having a party?" She asked

"Mom's go in out" he said. He stood with his backpack on, ready to go. Emma stared up the stairs. Who was she going out with? And where? Was it a date? 

"I'll go wait in the car" Henry said, taking her keys and shaking his head "maybe I'll drive"

"Ok" Emma replied, then turned to look at him "wait, what? No, give me those, it's open" she took the keys back and he laughed as he left her in the hallway. She stared a moment longer before heading up. She had to let Regina know she had Henry so she didn't have a choice, right? 

She knocked on the open bedroom door, reminding herself to breathe normally. Regina was dancing a little as she got ready. She had curled her hair and was wearing a Little Black Dress to end all little black dresses. She turned to Emma as she put her earrings on. 

"Hi" she said in a voice that barely sounded like Mayor of Storybrooke. Emma didn't respond. She was seeing Regina for the first time in months, her version of Regina, the one she fell in...something with. "Emma, you're staring at me"

"Sorry.” she blinked “I, I'm. Henry. I have Henry"

"Good" Regina said and turned to the mirror to check her appearance and slip into her shoes. Emma thought she saw a shadow of amusement on her face but it was fleeting. This is not a 'seeing friends' dress, Emma thought, this is a party dress. A date dress. An I’m-not-paying-for-a-single-drink-all-night dress. Regina watched Emma look her over in the mirror. 

"So you're going out?" Emma asked

"Yes" Regina replied

"Who with? If you don't mind me asking"

"A friend"

"Do I know them?"

"I don’t think so"

"Where are you going?"

"Well, dancing"

Emma knew she was being obtuse on purpose. It was supposed to make her jealous and it was working. She watched Regina run her hands down the sides of her dress as she always did, check her lipstick as she always had and ask Emma how she looked as she always used to.

"You...um..." Emma felt heat rise to her cheeks as she flustered. What was wrong with her?

Regina smiled, taking her sudden bashfulness as a compliment, "thank you, dear" she said, laying a hand on Emma’s arm as she brushed past her to leave. She wore Emma's favourite perfume and she wanted to breathe her in right there and then, but she still had a shred of self control and was hanging dearly onto it. Regina stopped the music with her phone and descended the stairs leaving Emma in her bedroom doorway.

"Should I tell Henry to unpack his bag, or are you planning on leaving?" Regina asked

"Sorry" Emma jolted into action and followed. "I'm just surprised, I didn't know there was anywhere to go out in Storybrooke" she said 'where you dress like that' she thought

Regina began to answer when the sound of a car pulling up interrupted her. She peeked out of the door, waved and looked back at Emma. "So are you going? Home?" She added at Emma's look

"Yeah, I mean I have a thing I’m going to, but..." Emma followed her out, pulled the door closed and heard it lock automatically. She turned to see Regina disappear into a green jaguar.

"Who is she going out with? I mean, who is she seeing? Tonight" Emma asked Henry when she got back in her car.

"I don't know, why didn't you ask her?" He said without looking up from him game.

"I did but she didn't really tell me anything" She replied. He shrugged. Emma sat there for a moment with her hands on the steering wheel watching the jag tail lights disappear. "I guess she just doesn't want us to know" she said, starting the engine. Henry looked up.

"Do you think she's up to something?" He asked, suddenly interested in the topic.

"Like, Operation Cobra up to something?" Emma asked. It was doubtful. She looked happy. She looked like herself, not the brooding evil queen image Emma had in her head.

"Yeah!" Henry said, putting his game down.

"I don't think so, kid. We’re supposed to be working past this, remember?"

"I know, but maybe we should follow her just to make sure" he said. 

Emma considered it for a moment. She did want to know where she was going, but that would probably be a couple of steps too far. If Regina wanted to make her jealous, it had worked. If she wanted to make her do something she'd regret, she wasn't going to fall into that trap.

"I don't think so"

"But what if it's important?" He asked.

"She's not hiding anything in that dress, kid, and if she was, she'd see us a mile away in this" she gestured to her flourescent car.

"We could borrow Miss Blanchard's car" Henry tried

"By then she'd be gone, how would we find her?"

Emma did not want to spend her evening tracking Regina down, nor did she want to argue with Henry. The only way to change his stubborn little mind was to reason it out with him. Like mother like son, she thought, recognising Regina’s look of determination on his face.

"We could drive around looking for her?" He asked, clutching at straws.

"When we could be doing research? What if it's her plan to waste our time? Maybe she's trying to distract us"

"Well it's working" he said under his breath. Emma looked at him. "Come on, you haven't even closed your door"

She looked and she hadn't. "It's complicated Henry"

"Yeah yeah" he said, opening his game again. She looked at him for a moment, sighed and closed her door.

-

Emma arrived back at the loft after depositing Henry with his friends. Ruby dragged her straight into the kitchen saying she had a magical cure for the look on Emma's face, which turned out to be white wine. 

“You and Henry were so excited at the diner this morning, with your little plan to cheer Regina up. What happened? She was really please by the way, she even took the pie so I guess I owe you five bucks”

Emma smiled “Make it a bearclaw and we’ll call it even”

“Come on, what’s going on?” She slid a glass across the counter. Emma took it and explained what had happened at Regina's in what she hoped had been a quiet enough voice for Mary Margaret and Ashley not to hear, but she was wrong.

"They're at the hotel" Mary Margaret called from her armchair in the living room.

Emma sighed "Who are?"

"Regina and...lots of other people."

"How do you know?" 

"Kathryn's Instagram"

"You have her on Instagram?!" Emma appeared at her side, looking from the phone to her friend incredulously.

"Yeah I know, it's from before...I can't delete her now, it would be suspicious"

"Yes" Emma said "that's one word for it"

Ruby exchanged a glance with Ashley as she settled on the sofa. 

"Do you want to see it or not?" Mary Margaret asked sharply. 

Of course she did. The picture was of Kathryn, Regina and two very handsome men in expensive looking suits. Regina was laughing, Kathryn smiled and they all held shots. Regina looked amazing. Emma didn't care about anyone else in the picture. She looked like she was having fun. 

"Can you zoom in?" Emma asked, tapping the photo twice

"No!" Mary Margaret jumped "that's how you like the picture!"

"Fuck!" Ruby laughed. Ashley gasped and covered her mouth.

"Oh shit, sorry, can you unlike it?" Emma grimaced

"If she's just uploaded it she'll probably have had the notification already" Mary Margaret rubbed her forehead.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry"

"Well that's awkward" She said, opening her hand for the phone.

"Can I look at some more?" Emma asked, pouting slightly

"For pictures of Regina?" Ashley asked and quickly sipped her wine at Emma's look.

"That's pathetic, Emma" Mary Margaret said

"More or less pathetic than refusing to delete the wife of the man you're sleeping with from your Instagram?" Emma asked

Ruby let out a low whistle. Mary Margaret glared at her for a moment before conceding. "Do not like anything else!" She closed her hand.

"I won't!"

She scrolled through the rest of Kathryn's pictures. Coffee, their dog, running updates, some pretty awkward pictures of her and David. There were no more pictures of Regina. Just that one. She held her thumb over it, in the hope she could save it, but nothing happened. She pressed the three dots which didn't help her either, unless she wanted to further embarrass Mary Margaret by posting it to Facebook.

-

“No I’ve never seen your apartment!” Ruby said a couple of hours later, dragging Emma out the door. Emma stumbled but grabbed her friend for balance.

“It’s nice, but it’s not where I used to live. I used to have this window” she nearly tripped up the stairs. Ruby guessed she must have been continuing her story in her head because she had stopped explaining out loud.

“A window? Wow” she said sarcastically. “Ok, Emma, the apartment is great” she closed the door “I really wanted to tell you what’s going on with Mary Margaret because she doesn’t want to like, burden you, but she’s having a super crappy time”

“Oh no, what is it?” Emma pulled a dining chair slightly too far out, sat and stretched to lean on the table. Ruby copied her with a fraction more poise.

“Well, David’s really stringing her along. He says all this stuff about how he cares but he’s still with Kathryn. I think Kathryn is suspicious and she just hasn’t confronted him yet. He gave her a Valentine card with Kathryn’s name on it”

“Oh my god” Emma covered her mouth

“Yeah”

“Oh poor Mary Margaret!” Emma covered her eyes, imagining the brightness of her face dying as she read the name.

“Yeah”

“Oh god” Ruby let her run that through her mind for a moment. “Why can’t he just make a decision? He’s clearly hurting them both”

Ruby raised an eyebrow and quickly dropped her gaze. “Oh” Emma said, realising the parallel Ruby had drawn, intentionally or not.

“I’m not judging you, hon, you’re my friend. I’m judging him though”

“Yeah me too. Fuck. I need to talk to Graham” Emma’s arms dropped to her sides as she sat back in the chair.

“Ok” Ruby said getting up, seeing her job as done

“And Regina”

“Awesome”

“Right now”

“Wait, what?” Ruby turned at the apartment door to see Emma’s phone to her ear “Honey now might not be-”

“Regina! What the fuck, who are you? I wanna talk to Regina. No you fucking listen, buddy. Having a sharp suit and gelled up hair doesn’t make you- Did? He just fucking hung up on me!”

Ruby gave her a sympathetic smile “Come on, let’s go back downstairs”

“Asshole” Emma said to her phone as she followed Ruby

-

“Emma did you order that pizza?” Mary Margaret asked when there was a knock on the door

“What? No, you took too long to decide, that’s why I ate all of your popcorn”

“And chips” Ashley added

“And gummy bears” Ruby said

“We should have got pizza” Ashley sighed and Emma pointed at her in agreement.

Mary Margaret ignored them all and opened her door. “Uh oh”

“Is Emma here?”

She sat bolt upright, spilling the last unpopped kernels from the bowl that had been balanced on her stomach.

“Um” Mary Margaret hesitated, though to her credit she didn’t budge from the door.

“Yeah” Emma got up and stumbled to the door, brushing rogue popcorn pieces from her clothes. “I’m here”

“Emma, are you sure this is a good idea?” Mary Margaret asked quietly.

“Oh Snow White will you mind your own damn business for once?” Regina said with exasperation. Mary Margaret’s eyebrows shot up before she brushed it off as Regina being just as drunk as Emma.

“I’m just looking out for my friend, Madam Mayor” she said carefully. Regina made a dramatic snore noise, grabbed Emma’s wrist and pulled her out of the door, knocking Mary Margaret out of the way.

“Should I go after her?” Emma heard Mary Margaret ask. “No!” Ruby and Ashley replied in unison.

Regina didn’t speak as Emma followed her outside. It was dark and kind of cold and she felt like she was in trouble, but she hadn’t done anything new, had she?

"Where are we going?" she asked

"Home" Regina replied over her shoulder

"I live here" Emma waved backwards at the building

"I'm going home"

"And you're taking me?"

"You do whatever you want, I didn't think you needed a decree from me to do it, though if you did I wouldn't give it" Regina said haughtily. 

"What?"

"Stalking me on Instagram?"

"How did you know that was me?" Emma blushed, or maybe it was just the night air turning her cheeks pink

"Because your mother isn't stupid enough to like one of Kathryn's pictures, and you are"

"I'm not stupid"

"And calling me in the middle of the night" they were half way down Main Street when she was about to snap at Regina for coming over in the middle of the night to tell her not to call her in the middle of the night, but then she got a stitch. 

"Can you wait?" she asked

"No"

"Please. Ow" she bent over with her hand pressing into her side. She couldn't remember how much wine and popcorn she'd had but it was too much to be running after Regina when she was on a mission. The heel clips stopped and Emma heard her turn.

"Are you alright?" Regina’s voice softened

"Yep" she took some deep breaths and pushed her stomach out. The pain in her side abated. "I'm gonna talk to Graham" Regina turned on her heel and began walking again, maybe quicker this time. "No wait! I'm breaking it off. Whatever it is" Regina stopped. "Whatever it was. I'm sorry I let it get out of hand.” Regina’s back was still to her like she was ready to leave her in the middle of the street at any moment “He said he loved me"

"I loved you first!" Regina shouted as she turned to face her

“What?” Emma stared wide eyed. She was drunk, yes, but not drunk enough to be hearing things. She felt dizzy watching Regina’s lips purse together again as she frowned. "You love me? Loved. Loved or love. Me?" she blurted

"Of course I do. You know. You've known for a long time. You didn't need me to tell you" her gaze dropped from Emma to the pavement, head bowed.

"I did, I did need you to tell me.” Emma almost pleaded walking up to her slowly “Do you still? I mean I know a lot has happened..."

Regina looked at her sadly. "The evil queen and the saviour?” She gave her a mournful smile “I think it's fate. I think it was meant to be. I was always meant to love you. I do love you even when you’re being an idiot.” Emma almost smiled at her but she looked away again. “I think I will always love you, and my punishment is that I'll never have you."

Emma stared. She looked small but perfect, silhouetted by a streetlight just behind her. She held her clutch in front of her with both hands, head bowed and ankles crossed. She looked like art. Emma wished she could remember the image before her forever. It looked almost unreal.

"I love you too" she whispered

Regina looked up slowly. "What?"

"I love you too. I love you. I'm fucking in love with you!"

Regina didn’t move. Her eyes were wide and trained on Emma. Emma started laughing as she closed the gap between them. She still didn’t move.

“I fucking love you!” Emma said

Regina’s eyes grew wider, her chin dipped a little but other than that she remained stock still. Scared to move even a little, scared to believe that this was real. The voice in her head that she considered to be her darkness was nowhere to be heard. There were no visions of herself as the evil queen. There were no shadowy figures looming, waiting to take her happiness again so it wasn’t a dream.

“Can you hear me? Are you in there?” Emma’s hands ran up her bare arms. She realised she was cold. Emma was so close she could kiss her. She unclasped a hand from her clutch to catch Emma’s as it slid down past her wrist. It was automatic but her stomach jolted in fear, just in case of rejection. Emma only held it for a second before she swept Regina into her arms and off her feet. She held her tightly and spun them around. It felt real, it was all real. Emma squeezed her, burying her face in her neck. It tickled like always but Regina let her. Her own arms wrapped around Emma’s shoulders, half feeling, half remembering their shape. She closed her eyes and let her heart ache with relief at holding her.

Emma pulled back a little and she loosened her arms. Emma smiled up at her and she drew her thumb over the curve of her cheek, she moved the hair out of her face and touched her dimples.

“Emma” she said softly and her smile brightened in response.

“Hey” she said. 

Slowly, painfully slowly a smile crept onto Regina’s face like watching the dawn turn into a sunrise and feeling the world awaken. Regina closed her eyes and opened them again. It was still real. Emma watched her knowingly, still holding her up like it was nothing and she was never letting go. “I really want to kiss you, but I need to start fresh. I need to speak to Graham first” her face grew a little serious.

“Ok” Regina said quietly, still afraid of breaking what was happening. Still taking in every detail of Emma’s face that she had missed. The shape of her face, the sparkle of her eyes, the freckle on the side of her nose.

“And then I’ll come right back” she set her gently down

“You’re going now?” Regina asked, unconsciously tracing the shape down Emma’s arms, running the fabric between her fingers.

“Yeah. I have hesitated way too long, I need to do this now. I don’t want to waste any more time”

Regina’s hands rested on her chest and Emma’s were locked around her waist. Emma touched her forehead to hers. She just wanted to stand like this forever.

“How are you going to get there?”

“A cab I guess?”

“At this time?” They glanced at the clock tower simultaneously “I doubt Major’s Taxis run at this time” Emma frowned. “I’ll take you. Hold on tight, I’m drunk and I don’t want to lose you” Emma smiled smugly “shut up” Regina smiled and they were gone.


	19. Chapter 19

Regina hadn’t sat down since she got home over an hour ago. She had tidied the living room, emptied the dishwasher, flicked through tv channels that she wasn’t interested in and poured a glass of wine that she didn’t drink. She sighed and re-ran their conversation in her head. ‘I’m fucking in love with you!’ her heart leapt in her chest at the thought of it. And she had shouted at Emma that she loved her. She rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep from smiling. Waiting for Emma to get home, to call was the closest she had felt to normal since she got to Storybrooke. She wanted Emma getting home from a day of work, she wanted sitting together and talking about Henry’s day at school over dinner, then being together at night. She didn’t just miss being intimate with her, she missed the smell of her hair, their legs tangling together as they slept even when it was too warm and they kind of stuck. All of her missed all of Emma.

Finally her phone buzzed and she answered before her ringtone even started playing.

“Emma?”  
 _  
“Hey”_

“Are you ok? Do you want me to come and get you?”  
 _  
“No I need to walk this off a little”  
_  
“Ok.” her heart sank. She wanted her home now “How did it go?” 

Emma sighed deeply. _“It went ok. I said about half the things I wanted to. He was....well he was a mess before, let’s be honest. He said he could smell you on me”_

“That...must have been hard” Regina said, unsure of what to say to that. There was a knock at her door “Are you here already?” She walked into the hallway, her hand was on the door handle before the knock came again more forcefully.

“Regina” It was a man’s voice, Graham’s voice.  
 _  
“What was that?”_

“Graham what do you want?” Regina asked  
 _  
“Oh my god”_ Emma said

“I need to talk to you” He shouted through the door

“It’s late” Regina replied, turning to check the time on the grandfather clock. It really was late.

“So now you don’t want me showing up in the middle of the night? I know it’s been a while, but I’m confused. I’m confused about a lot of things lately”  
 _  
“Oh my god, Regina-”_

“For God’s sake” She opened the door “Graham”

“Like how you got Emma to fall for this act” he continued, pushing the door fully open and stepping inside. Regina stepped back immediately. Something about his demeanour was off. This was way too aggressive for him. He didn’t seem like himself. “How you tricked her into loving the evil queen, because that’s who you are isn’t it?”

“Graham...” she continued stepping back slowly  
 _  
“Oh my god”_

“Isn’t it!” He shouted and slammed the door shut. She was surprised the glass didn’t break.   
_  
“Regina be careful!”_

She stepped up the stairs as he looked around the hallway unseeing.

“The evil fucking queen and the woman I love” his hands were on his hips as he nodded with a weird, nervous energy and wiped his face “Did you steal her heart too?”

Her stomach turned over at the idea “No”

“Did you rip it out of her chest?” He followed her up the steps and she slid around the large mahogany table.

“Of course not”

“Are you doing to her what you did to me?”

“Graham, I’m sorry for-”

“I don’t believe you!” He kicked over a side table, sending photo frames and a telephone crashing to the floor, and came towards her, head dipping into his shoulders exactly like a wolf with cornered prey.  
 _  
“Regina get out of there! I’ll be there in 5 minutes just get out before he does something!”_

“Is that her on the phone? How did you do it? How did you trick her?” He started walking around the table and she circled, keeping it between them.  
 _  
“Regina he knows who you are, he knows you have magic just poof yourself out of there right fucking now!”_

“How did you trick everyone in this whole fucking town?” he shouted

“Graham please-”

“No!” he roared and turned the table over. The vase of flowers shattered on the floor, he leapt at Regina who disappeared just in time. He landed hard on the floor sliding across wet, broken porcelain. Regina’s phone hit the marble, smashing the screen.

_“Regina?”_ Emma shouted, distorted across the line.

-

“David”

“Emma?”

“I need you to get to Regina’s house right now. Bring your police stuff”

“Is everything ok?”

“No, Graham is hurt”

“Oh no, are you ok?”

“Yes”

“Is the mayor?”

“I think so. I don’t know. Just hurry, ok?”

“Shall I call an ambulance?”

“I already did. Hurry”

The ambulance beat David to the house. Emma and Regina rode along in silence. David took their statements at the hospital. After an hour Whale entered the waiting room with his head down. They did everything they could. Head trauma. Sorry for their loss.

Emma argued with Regina until she agreed to see a nurse for the minor injuries she didn’t realise she had gotten. A bruise on her thigh from the falling table and a nasty scrape from the broken vase.

The day seemed to disappear but the night felt like it lasted forever. Regina didn’t sleep. She showered and didn’t feel clean. She magicked her way around the house, avoiding the hallway at all costs. David had photographed everything, taken evidence and sent trauma cleaners to clear up the mess but she still couldn’t face going back, as if she would see Graham still lying there if she risked it. Only hours ago things had felt like they might be ok. She might make it through this after all. Emma was hers again and they were going to be alright. She clung to that idea like it was the one thing she knew for sure, but nothing was certain. Not really. She poofed into her car and drove to Emma’s.

“Regina what…what time is it?” Emma rubbed her eyes “How did you even get in the building without buzzing?”

“It’s early” Regina ignored the second question and they key in her pocket.

“I couldn’t sleep so I baked apple turnovers for you and Henry. He used to like them for breakfast. I hope he still does” she set the box down on Emma’s counter.

“Yeah, he says the pastry at Granny’s isn’t as good” Emma said looking from the box, to Regina, to the room where she made a mental note to put a clock.

“Granny uses rough puff which is much quicker. Mine is proper puff which makes all the difference” Regina smiled at the roundabout compliment.

“Sounds like a lot of work” Emma stepped over to the box and smelled “Yum! I’ll make some coffee. Are you staying?”

Regina hesitated “I...I don’t know if I should. I just wanted to give you these and...I have an appointment so I can’t stay too long”

“Long enough for a cup of coffee?” Emma smiled sleepily and Regina’s resolve to leave weakened considerably.

“Mom?”

“Good morning, Henry. Sorry if I woke you” he plodded heavily down the stairs in his little bathrobe, hair sticking up at the back.

“Your mom brought us apple turnovers” Emma said

“Careful they’re not poisoned” He mumbled

“Hey” Emma snapped her fingers at him almost before Regina even registered what he’d said. “Remember what we talked about?”

“Yeah” his cheeks tinted a little pink “Sorry, mom. It just slipped out.” He looked at Emma who looked back expectantly, waiting for something else. Regina looked at her too, then back at Henry. “I didn’t mean it, but it was a horrible thing to say. Can I have one?” He looked between them. Emma nodded approval at his apology and the corner of Regina’s mouth curled up.

“Thank you for apologising, Henry. Yes you may” Regina said

“You go sit down, I’ll bring them over” Emma said, turning back into the kitchen.

Regina sat with Henry at the table while Emma took an extremely long time to make coffee. She asked about school, his friends, about what he was reading. He was excitedly telling her about his new favourite book when Emma appeared. She had two plates balanced on one arm and three mugs clutched in her other hand. Henry and Regina reached for one plate each and Regina set Emma’s down next to her. Emma slid a mug of black to Regina, a mug of white to herself and one filled with juice towards Henry. 

“Nice” Henry laughed as she dropped into the seat beside Regina and pulled a jar of cinnamon from her pocket with a smile.

“You shouldn’t need that” Regina said, watching her open the lid sitting forward slightly with tension.

“Everything needs it!” 

“I put extra in yours”

The jar in Emma’s hand froze mid air. She turned to look at her and Regina smiled briefly, like she was scared to let it out at all. Emma’s eyes roamed all over her face. If this was four months ago, she would have leaned right over and kissed her. Regina seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“Earth to moms” Henry said, smiling at them

“Sorry kid” Emma said, putting the jar down. Regina hid her smile by sipping coffee.

“So mom, we were gonna ask you on a date”

Emma choked and seemed to inhale flaky pastry. She waved her hand as they both turned to ask if she was ok and ran off to the kitchen.

-

Emma washed up their cups and plates and Regina dried them while Henry went to shower.

"So yeah, we were gonna ask you on a date this weekend, but it might be better to wait a while. It feels too soon, doesn’t it?” Emma rested her hands on the sink and looked over her shoulder at her. She looked sad.

“Too soon to be seen together in public?”

“Too soon to be like, enjoying life. That sounds dumb” She turned back to the dishes

“It doesn’t” Regina touched the small of her back in comfort as she took the last plate from her soapy hands. Emma frowned, torn between sadness for Graham and elation with Regina. She dried the plate as she watched her. “What were we going to do on our date?” 

Emma smiled “well, if the weather was nice we thought we could go to the park and feed ducks. Or if it was bad we were going to do food and movies and snacks. Henry was pretty keep on building a den but I haven’t made a decision about that either way.”

Regina smiled thinking about how many more weekends they had ahead of them, how many times they could sit together and watch movies, to go to the park, to walk in the woods or go out for dinner together. 

“Well, why don’t we stay in? I don’t mind cooking. Henry wants to play his new game and I know you secretly do too.”

“No I don’t...:” Emma smiled at her own lie “won’t you be bored?”

Regina felt like she would never be bored again as long as she was with these two. Her eyes shone and she shook her head. She folded the dish towel and began putting dry dishes away.

“How do you know where everything goes?” Henry asked, crossing the room in his bathrobe.

“It’s...a sensibly laid out kitchen” Regina replied. Henry frowned “well. I would probably put dishes over there and the toaster over here, but it’s not too difficult to navigate” 

“There is nothing wrong with my kitchen” Emma protested and Henry left them smiling. “I should probably get groceries” she opened a cupboard “what do you want to cook?” Regina smiled and checked her watch. "I mean later" Emma rolled her eyes "I'm not hungry all the time"

“You know, as long as you know where it is, you can conjure anything you want"

“What does that mean?”

“It means my house is well stocked. We can have anything you like."

“Lasagne” Emma answered without hesitation 

She smiled and nodded “lasagne it is then. But now I really do have to go"

Emma caught her hand before she turned away "Hey"

"Hey" she replied. Her eyes seems to burn into Emma with all the things they wanted. She wanted to kiss away the sadness on her face. Emma ran her thumb over her knuckles.

"I'm glad you came by" she smiled

"Me too"

-

Sunday felt like the reprieve they all needed. On Monday Emma was too snowed under to do anything but work. Tuesday was much the same and Wednesday was the funeral.

Henry left most of his cereal in his bowl. He tasted his juice and stared at the table top.

"Henry, honey, you should go for a shower now. We have to leave in an hour" Mary Margaret said

"Why can't I shower upstairs, where I live?"

Her mouth thinned to a line. "You know why"

He sighed and did as he was told. He stood in the shower for longer than necessary, not doing anything but shifting under the water to keep himself warm. Once he was out and dry he put on a splash of aftershave, brushed his hair and dressed in a black suit. He sat at the kitchen table and polished his shoes as Regina had taught him. Polish first, then rub it in, buff and brush until they shine. He also found a lint roller to brush down his suit jacket.

"Honey we have to go soon" Mary Margaret said, hovering near the door. Her own black dress was long sleeved with a neat white collar. He heard her but didn't reply. He brushed the arms, lapels, back and shoulders before sliding into it. Mary Margaret held out her hand and he took it as they left the loft. 

Everyone in Storybrooke seemed to be gathered outside the chapel. It was small, simple and elegant, surrounded by trees and fields. Everyone was dressed in black but one person caught Henry's eye immediately.

"Mom" He dropped Mary Margaret's hand and ran for Regina. She abruptly ended her conversation with Mitchell Herman and knelt to catch him as he leapt into her arms.

"It's ok, Henry. It's ok sweetheart" she said, stroking his hair as he tried his hardest not to cry. She rubbed slow circles into his back and calmed him with low, reassuring words. "You don't have to be here if you don't want, sweetheart" He pulled away and wiped his eyes with balled up fists. "There is still time, I can take you home or we can go in together."

"Go in together" he said. 

She wiped away the trails of tears he had missed in his forcefulness, kissed him gently on the cheek and straightened his tie.

"You look very smart, sweetheart. Did you tie this yourself?" He nodded "you've been practicing" she gave him a small smile and he stared back with watery eyes. "Ok, let's stand back and wait for the hearse" she took his hand and led him over to the side of the church entrance. 

"Miss Lucas" she said as they approached

Ruby returned a false smile "hey Henry" she said nudging his shoulder.

"Miss Blanchard, thank you for your assistance this morning" Regina said and Mary Margaret nodded. She looked between her and Ruby. Something was amiss. They were both much more curt than usual. 

As a black car rolled into view Henry's hand tightened in hers. She pulled him closer and crossed her arms over his chest protectively. She felt him shake as he tried not to cry. Her heart ached for him. This was his first experience of loss, the first tragedy to mar his idealised world. She knew this feeling far too well. She knew the rituals around death, the traditions, the processes. She knew they gave people comfort in their predictability. They gave closure with a time to say goodbye. They gave space to those who needed it to cry and they gave stability and structure to those left reeling by their grief. She held her son tightly as she remembered her first brush with it all. His pain was sharp and hers was dulled. His emotions on the surface while hers were buried deep. 

The hearse reversed into the space before the chapel doors and the sight of a coffin surrounded by flowers threw her feelings into focus. Pain, guilt, dread. Henry had stopped shaking but his hands were clasped tightly over her arms, keeping them there like they were his life raft.

The pallbearers approached and Regina's heart leapt as Emma appeared from the car that had been following. She was dressed in full uniform, hair tied back, looking grave. She didn't look at her. She didn't look at anyone. The director gave instructions on how to lift the coffin. Emma was in position at the front with David who was also in uniform, followed by two of Graham's friends. She held a handle with her left hand while her right lifted it from below and reached around David's back as they hoisted the casket to their shoulders. 

The organ began to play inside and they slowly walked in. People milled in around them and Archie managed to squeeze next to Henry on the front bench. Regina nodded her appreciation to him. Henry had been seeing him for months and was the closest thing to a friend he had in attendance.

Graham had never been particularly religious and had never left instructions of what he wanted. Regina had never thought to encourage the residents of Storybrooke to make funeral arrangements since this wasn’t really supposed to happen as part of the curse. The task of arranging the funeral had fallen to City Hall. It was all very standard and Emma had been asked for input as his closest friend. The texts she had chosen were themed around nature and freedom. 

They stood for the first hymn and Henry began to sing but stopped suddenly. Regina continued her singing while she looked down at him, twisting his mouth while his cheeks reddened. She took the hymn book from his trembling hands, set it gently down and pulled a fresh handkerchief from her pocket. With one hand she balanced her own open book and with the other she drew him closer to her. She looked up to see Emma watching him from the other side of the aisle with a pained expression. Regina continued to sing though Emma didn’t. She caught her eye as the hymn ended.

"I have called you by your name, you are mine"

Emma looked away and Regina watched her stern look fall back into place. Everyone was seated and Regina got up to speak. She had dreaded this. She loved being the mayor, she didn't love the formality of speaking at the funerals of her staff. The room was deathly quiet and she wondered if anyone else could hear her heartbeat.

"Graham was many things to many people. He was peace of mind for our townsfolk. He was a hero many times over in the eyes of all he helped, especially adventurous Pongo, who in recent times seemed to be inventing scenarios to get to see his favourite police officer again" there was a titter of fond laughter. Archie smiled at her and Henry managed a watery grin. "But above all else, he was a good man. I'm going to read a poem that I believe says what I never could about our sheriff.”

She saw Graham’s face contort in rage and desperation as he leapt towards her.

“A good man never dies  
In worthy deed and prayer  
And helpful hands, and honest eyes,  
If smiles or tears be there.  
Who lives for you and me  
Lives for the world he tries  
To help, he lives eternally.   
A good man never dies”

She saw the empty searching look on his face on nights when they had shared a bed.

“Who lives to bravely take   
His share of toil and stress,   
And for his weaker fellows' sake,   
Makes every burden less,  
He may, at last, seem worn  
Lie fallen, hands and eyes   
Folded, yet though we mourn and mourn  
A good man never dies"

She saw him on crouched at her feet on the floor of her castle while she squeezed his heart and made him beg for mercy. 

She swallowed the feeling of sickness climbing up her throat, folded the paper she hadn't looked at once and stepped down. They sang again and there was another reading and a blessing, but the ceremony was over quite quickly. The wake was held at Graham's house. It was the last place she wanted to be, but for appearances, and for Henry, she had to go.

Henry sat with Pongo’s head in his lap and was visited by just about everyone he knew, checking up on him, making sure he was ok. Regina watched from wherever she was, from whatever town-related conversation or reminiscent circle she had been dragged into. She managed to slip away while he was talking to Ruby and found a small nook where coats were hung. She rubbed her forehead and let her face express how she really felt.

“This is an odd place to be at a wake, Madam Mayor” Gold’s voice made her jump

"Can I help you, Mr Gold?” She asked

“No, no. Just seems like odd behaviour is all. I expect you’ll want to be careful about that now” He smiled as his own insinuation.

“What does that mean?”

“Oh nothing, just that it’s widely known that you and the former sheriff had a...conflict of interests. I would avoid skulking in shadows if I were you”

“Is everything ok?” Emma appeared behind him

“Sherrif” He turned to her smugly “Congratulations on the promotion”

“Excuse me?” 

“And my condolences, of course” He walked away from them both

"What the hell did he want?" she asked 

Regina turned, Emma was closer than she had realised. 

“Congratulations? That asshole” Emma’s voice cracked a little. She was angry and there were tears in her eyes. There was a part of Regina that was jealous that Emma still cared for Graham, missed him even.

Something snapped. Whatever had been holding up Regina's mask finally gave way. She turned into Emma’s shoulder and cried. She couldn't hold onto whatever had been keeping her together. It slipped further away the longer she was with Emma. She cried because she was sorry. She cried because Emma blamed herself. She cried because she had finally gotten what she had always wanted and it was always going to be tarnished by this tragedy. Her hand found Emma's collar, crushing it in her hand she pulled them closer together as Emma's arms slid around her waist.

"Hey" Emma said but she didn't respond, if anything that made it worse. Her mind was filled with the faces looking up at her while she stood in the pulpit spliced with the image of Graham smashing her home to pieces. She remembered the things she had done and she felt like she should have burned standing up there. The poem she recited she had meant. She meant it for the man who had refused to kill Snow White, who had asked for protection of the ones he loved in return for his own life, who had been a friend to Emma and Henry when she should have been there for them. 

“I think it’s time to go” Emma said once she had finished crying and stood in Emma’s arms, head on her shoulder.

Mary Margaret dragged Emma to one side while Henry went to get his coat. "Emma whatever's going on, you need to be honest with David"

"Excuse me?" She asked, wondering if she was practicing a speech for herself, or maybe Kathryn. 

"I know you love Regina, but you can't protect her in this, the truth will come out"

Emma's brow furrowed "the truth about what?"

Mary Margaret glanced around before lifting her chin to look Emma in the eye. "That Graham's death wasn't an accident"

Emma's mouth fell open "are you...do you even know what you're saying?"

"The timelines don't add up, Emma. David said-"

"David shouldn't be talking to you about any of this!"

"He's worried about you, and so am I" she reached out and Emma stepped back

"I thought you were my friend"

"I am"

"I thought David was a good officer"

"He is"

"Not if he's spreading gossip around! We both gave statements, Regina let him have at her house, she even fucking spoke today, did you hear what she said? It was beautiful! And you think she did this?"

"Emma listen to me-"

"No. How dare you do this, at all but especially now, especially here." She stared while Mary Margaret fought with her nature to stay quiet "I was on the phone when he attacked her, Mary Margaret. He was out of his mind. If he hadn't fallen down those stairs he would have hurt her, badly"

"Emma?" Regina touched her arm lightly. Henry stood behind her talking to Archie. "Are you..." She looked from her angry, upset face to Mary Margaret's look of self righteousness and decided not to engage her "...ready to go?"

"Yeah" Emma said, shaking her head at Mary Margaret briefly 

"Was he drunk, Regina?" Mary Margaret called from behind Emma's turned back.

"Don't" Emma said as her cheeks reddened

Regina leaned into her view "Miss Blanchard, I'm afraid that I didn't have the forethought to breathalyse him while he attacked me, as I'm sure you would have done."

Mary Margaret dropped her gaze and Regina turned. She touched Henry's shoulder and lead him from the room, Emma trailing quietly behind. A ripple of whispers followed them out and Emma couldn't look at anyone.


	20. Chapter 20

Regina took Emma’s hands and gently pulled her the last few feet out of the house, down the porch steps and towards the car. She felt the weight of her footsteps plodding behind her. Henry obliviously jumped into the back. He seemed better after talking to people and being cuddled by Pongo. She turned to Emma as they split to go to separate sides of the car. She looked up guiltily, like she should have protected Regina from this, like it was all her fault, her personal failing. She squeezed her hand before letting go.

"Please can I go to Paige's house?" Henry begged from the backseat.

"Well, let me talk to her parents" Regina said, buckling herself in.

"They said I can if you say I can" he followed up quickly. 

She turned into the back to look at him. "Do you have to pack a bag?"

"It'll only take a minute"

"Homework?"

"I don't have any."

"Lunches?"

"I've got change to buy something"

She watched him for a moment longer before sliding back to face forwards. "Ok, let them know I'll drop you off"

"Yes!" 

Emma smiled at her from the passenger seat.

"What?"

"Nothing" Emma replied, looking over her face. Regina frowned at her and Emma smiled wider. After they dropped Henry off they returned to Emma's apartment. 

"Do you wanna go for a drive?" Emma asked

"To where?"

"The destination isn't the point of a drive, Regina"

Regina sighed "Alright, where do you want to drive...around?"

"I don't know, out of town"

"There's a cabin on a bay just a little up the coast but still within the town boundary, have you been there?" Emma shook her head "do you want to?" She smiled in reply. They took Regina's car and left within the hour. They talked about Henry, about Graham, about Emma feeling guilty for being happy but sad at the same time. Emma avoided the argument with Mary Margaret altogether and Regina let her.

"Have you thought about seeing Archie?" Regina asked as they pulled into a gravel drive.

"No, I wouldn't know what to say"

"Well, you figure that out once you're there. You can talk about anything you want. I like it because he isn't in my life, he has no stake in the decisions I make, which makes him a good counsellor"

"I didn't know you saw him" Emma fidgeted. Regina leant across and slid her hand over Emma's until she stopped.

"It means I'm looking after myself" Emma nodded. "Come on" Regina got out of the car.

"This is not a cabin, Regina. This is a house"

"It's a small house" she conceded. Emma looked around. The woodwork was painted white and the window and door frames gray. There were abalone shells and starfish on the window ledges and a sandy path up to the porch. The house itself looked out over a small sandy bay.

"Oh my god, can we move here?" Emma asked

"It's publicly owned, anyone can use it" Regina waited for her to catch up

"Well un-publicly own it. You're the mayor."

"I don't think that would be a popular decision"

Emma slid her hand into Regina's as she met her on the path "it would be with me" she smiled 

"You could tempt me to do the most awful things" Regina pulled ahead of her in dismissal though she kept her hand. 

"God I hope so" Regina cast a glance back at her that made her shiver and rush to keep up.

The inside of the cabin was simple, clean and quaint. The kitchen was small and open plan with a sofa in the living area. The two rooms in the back were a twin bedroom and a bathroom, but emma didn’t get that far. She set a bag down on the counter and tipped her head from side to side.

"I hate shirts with ties. They make me stand funny and my neck hurts"

Regina sat on the sofa and looked up at her rolling her shoulders. "Come here" 

Emma sat at her feet, wriggling to nudge her knees apart until her back was against the cushions "don't we need some candles?" Regina looked around the room. It was lit just fine "and some Sarah McLachlan in the background? Or you probably prefer Joni Mitchell for our lesbian cliche" Emma grinned up at her.

"Ah, I see" Regina turned Emma's chin away so she faced forwards again "Joni Mitchell would be fine, but it would better if you produced an acoustic guitar and sang her songs to me" 

"Yes!" Emma almost bounced with excitement. Regina reached around and unbuttoned her collar and loosened her tie "and it would be beautiful and you'd be like" she lowered her voice "'Miss Swan I never knew you could play guitar'" 

Regina laughed as she untied Emma's hair, shook it out gently with her fingertip and swept it over one shoulder "of course, and you'd say 'oh I totally like, taught myself'" Emma laughed and slapped the floor. She smiled and her thumbs slid down Emma's shoulder blades. "Is it your neck, or is it here?" She pressed and Emma gasped. She hummed. "I can feel it" she rubbed slowly around it and Emma groaned with mixed pain and relief.

She continued rubbing out every knot she found, softly at first then harder. When she was done she let her fingers rest lightly on Emma's shoulders.

"Can you believe everything that has happened? It doesn't feel real to me" Emma said

"It doesn't?"

"Well, parts of it do. We feel real. I feel like myself when we're together. I just can't believe anything else"

"Well why don't we start with what you can believe?"

Emma turned around to face her and stared for a moment. She only smiled briefly but the warmth stayed in her eyes. "I don't deserve you"

Regina hummed "let's not get into what everyone deserves, that is a slippery slope" she looked away and placed her hands down on either side of her legs, suddenly tense again.

Emma sat up on her knees and placed one hand over Regina's and the other on her cheek. "Hey"

"Hey" Regina replied, looking at her so intensely Emma felt the urge to look away but she didn't.

"Forget what we deserve then, let's focus on what we have. You have me" she said with confidence

Regina's heart ached. The harder it hurt the more Emma seemed to smile until there was nothing left in Regina's chest but the light she poured into it. "And you me" she said eventually.

Emma reached up and pressed her lips to Regina's. It was every cliche she could think of. It was like breathing again like coming home and like she knew where she belonged in the world. It was like knowing what you were made for and knowing you never wanted to stop. 

Her hands slid up her legs as Regina’s found her collar again and pulled her forwards. Emma drew her hands over her hips and down again until they slid behind her knees and slid her forwards on the cushion. Regina’s legs wrapped around her and pulled them together. Emma hummed as she kissed her, letting her lips pull at her Regina’s and felt Regina’s tongue tentatively searching for hers. When they touched it was a rush of feelings all over again. It was love and trust and need. Their kisses told each other what they felt, what they needed. Emma leant over, pushing Regina back into the cushions, desperate for more of the feeling she gave her, whatever it was. She nudged her dress up as she went.

“Dear god, Regina” she broke away to look down as her legs. She snapped the lace top of her stay ups and moaned “never stop wearing these”

Regina smiled and pulled her back into a kiss, which only broke again so that Emma could lift her dress over her head and they came back together like magnets. Regina pulled her closer by her tie, which was hotter than Emma had ever imagined could be, before she undid it in one swipe and threw it away. She unbuttoned the shirt but left it on, sliding her hands inside to feel and grope her. She rubbed Emma’s hard nippled between her thumb and finger through her lace bra. Emma gasped, climbed fully onto the sofa and ground hard into Regina. Her belt buckle pressed roughly over her, covered only by her underwear.

Regina hissed a breath in as Emma pushed harder “take these off” she said, struggling to undo her belt. The trousers and shirt were gone in seconds and Emma climbed onto her lap. Regina ran her fingertips down her stomach, down her sides and skimmed the top of her underwear. Emma let out a noise something like a whine. Whatever it was it was a beg for attention. 

“God” she said as she slid her fingers under the fabric and feeling Emma ready for her. She slid a second finger under and slowly rubbed the length of her. Emma moaned and her hips moved automatically to give Regina the angle she needed. “I love feeling how wet you get” she whispered into Emma’s ear as Emma grabbed the back of the sofa for support as her jaw clenched.

“Yeah?” She managed in reply, eyes shut tight against the world. 

“I love how wet you get for me” she said, slowly shifting the focus of her attention to Emma’s clit. She was so wet it was hard to get proper friction on her. Emma’s arm slid from the sofa to around Regina’s shoulders, pulling them together. She swapped slow circles for quicker flicks and Emma twitched and groaned in response. Regina pushed her back a little to kiss her nipple through the bra. The fabric scratched her sensitive skin and she knew it. Emma began rocking in her lap.

“Fingers. Inside” she gasped

Regina complied, sliding two now very wet fingers into her with complete ease, while her thumb took their place and rubbed her clit in much less precise action. Emma liked it, moaning and tightening around her fingers. Regina continued to torture her nipples and squeeze her breasts her until her breathing shook. Emma rode her hand fiercely, she hardly had to do any of the work. She kissed her neck while Emma strained trying not to come too soon while her body hurtled towards climax.

Her body buckled and Regina lost count of how many times she cried her name. Every one felt fresh and good and she never wanted it to end. She slid in and out of her, making her shudder even as her body relaxed and settled around her.

Emma kissed her deeply, slowly circling her tongue, in promise of what was to come. It was raw and her heartbeat quickened with it. Regina shifted underneath her, uncomfortable with the growing ache between her legs.

“Okay okay” Emma said playfully, shifting back on Regina’s knees to reach down and slide her fingers into her underwear. “Wow” Emma smiled “you’re not even open and I can feel how wet you are”. Regina’s fingers dug into Emma’s thighs as she bit her lip and tried to retain some semblance of composure. Emma was in love with the look on her face, she never wanted it to end. She unhooked her bra with one hand and drew the other up out of her causing Regina to deflate a little, only until Emma wiped Regina’s own wetness onto her nipples.

She gasped “Emma!” Her eyes were wide with surprise, and something darker stirred behind them. It was dirty and she loved it. 

Emma smiled and leant down to suck one into her mouth, holding her gaze. Her other hand rolled her now sticky nipple between two fingers while she flicked and sucked the other. Regina hissed breath in through her teeth.

She swapped over, humming and enjoying the taste. Regina’s head went back and she cried out at the conflict between the sharp friction of fingers and the hot, wet pressure of lips and tongue as Emma’s finger pinched a little hard.

Emma pulled away, and leant up to kiss her. She squeezed and rolled her nipples as she did. She could feel Regina’s urgency in the way her tongue demanded more from her, the way she seemed almost out of breath with arousal. She pulled her lip between her teeth and let go. Regina’s head fell back into the cushions as her hands roamed over Emma’s thighs. She kissed her breasts again, letting her face rub over them as she went. “God you are perfect”

“Emma” she whined

“Sorry” she said, letting her teeth graze over the round of her breast one last time. She climbed off her lap “Oh fuck you still have your shoes on”

Regina moved to kick the patent black stilettos off but Emma stopped her “No, god, keep them on. Jesus christ”

“Emma!” Regina whined desperately again as she crushed the sofa cushion in her fists.

She drew her nails up her ankle, calf, thigh, snapped her stockings again and scratched up the inside of her thigh. Regina was wet through her underwear. Emma slide them off and for a moment just stared at her. “God I am so lucky, you are perfect”

“Emma Swan touch me right now or I swear to god-” her words were cut off with a gasp as Emma licked up her lips.

She moaned and Regina’s back arched like she was close to coming already. Emma smiled up at her, though her eyes were closed and her face a picture of agony. She licked her again and Regina shuddered. She would be angry, she knew, playing with her like this but she seemed to have lost her words in place of sounds. The noises she made came from deep in her chest, they were gravelly and desperate and drove Emma back into action. She spread Regina with her fingers and sild inside. Her clit was swollen and aching. Emma thought if she touched it she would come immediately, which she didn’t want. She slid in and out at a steady pace. Regina’s chest heaved as she arched, lifting well off the sofa and groaned with every motion.

“Fuck” Emma climbed back onto the sofa, careful to stay inside her and settled Regina in her lap. She thrust with her whole body, not just her hand. Her palm grazed her clit and she gasped again. She had Regina whining, aching, riding her. The idea alone had her ready to go again. Her pace increased and her other hand held Regina’s hip to keep her where she wanted. She felt the nerves spasm under her fingertips, unbearably building up tension to be released. She withdrew and rubbed her clit with slow circles. Regina shuddered at the change in tempo. Emma watched her writhe, messing her hair up and reaching for things to hold onto as she tried not to come.

Emma grabbed her breast again and squeezed her hard, sliding back inside her as her hot mouth came down on her nipple again.

“Oh god” Regina began and Emma smiled, knowing she was close. She used her hips to push her fingers inside and Regina’s legs closed around her. 

“Shit” Emma said as her own wet clit crushed against the back of her hand. The pointed heels of Regina’s shoes dug into her back and she hissed, thrusting harder to keep it going. She lost the focus to torture her nipples, instead she concentrated on the feeling between her legs and the pain on her back which seemed to heighten everything else. She felt Regina hot and wet around her, squeezing her fingers and throbbing for release, she felt her strong legs around her and her own stimulation. She felt like she was deep in Regina, not just inches, but miles. She felt like they were one beautiful thing moving in perfect, aching bliss. Regina wasn’t groaning so much as growling at her now. She sped up, not just thrusting but really fucking her. She was on her knees in the cushions, pushing with everything she had. Her legs and stomach muscles ached but all she could feel was Regina, all she could hear was her cries of pleasure, suddenly Regina’s legs tightened, Emma’s hand was crushed, nowhere else to go as she pressed into herself. She was so close to climax and Regina bucked and shuddered against her, moving her hand just enough to rub her clit a couple more times and push her over the edge.

She came too, falling over her body as they shook and screamed.

-

The room turned dark around them as they lay together, fingers running through hair, listening to each other’s heartbeats. Emma’s stomach growled and Regina smiled. She shifted slightly.

“We should get up, or at least lock the door if we’re staying”

“What do you want to do?” Emma asked. Regina was thinking about it when Emma sat up and checked the time on her phone. "Oh my god I have like a hundred missed calls" She dialled Henry and waited.

“From who?” Regina asked as she reached for her own, worst case scenarios flying through her mind.

“Henry, Mary Margaret, David, Ruby, loads of people”

Regina’s missed calls were from Henry, Archie and other less expected people. She opened her messages while Emma hung up and redialed. 

"Mom are you ok? You broke the curse! X"

"Emma" Regina read it again and again.

"I can't get through to Henry" she replied with panic. 

"Emma" She couldn’t think of words for the enormity of what that meant. She was relieved, it was over, she was still alive and her worst crime, the one that had grown well beyond her control, was finally over. She was worried for Henry, now surrounded by these people who hated her, who must know he was her only -well, primary- weakness. She glanced at Emma, rubbing the wrinkle on her brow. Somewhere in her chest, her heart ached for her father, regretting that the one thing that still tied him to her present was gone.

"I'll try again" Emma said

"Emma, the curse is broken" Regina finally managed

Emma looked over her shoulder at her, dial tone ringing in her ear, trying to process what she had said. Regina held up the message from Henry. She stood and walked to the window, awkwardly because between her legs was still swollen and sensitive. Outside looked the same. Henry's phone went to voicemail again.

Regina sat up and reread his message a few more times. He had asked if she was ok. On it’s own it wasn’t much, but it was the first thing he had asked, and he hadn’t asked her in a long time. She felt that as long he cared if she was, she would be.

"We're fine, sweetheart. Where are you? Emma’s trying to call. xxx" she replied before getting up to dress. "We should go back" she said, before disappearing to the bathroom with her dress over her arm. Emma stared back with her hand on her forehead. 

When Regina returned Emma was dressed again, though her shirt was untucked and her hair rebelling against the tie that held it up. She still held her phone but wasn't using it.

Regina stepped up to her and rubbed her arm "everything will be alright. The whole town loves you. They love Henry. You'll both be fine" she kissed her cheek.

"And what about you? David thinks you killed Graham" Emma said

"Well at least now we can explain about using magic to get to his house. That's what she meant wasn't it? That the timelines didn't match up?"

"You heard all that?"

"Neither of you were as quiet as you thought" she looked away

"My...parents...they're the ones leading the- fuck I nearly said ‘witch hunt’. Is that offensive?"

Regina stared at her for a moment before cracking into a big and genuine laugh. She reached for Emma’s arm as she did, squeezing it affectionately. Emma covered her mouth and laughed. "Fuck" Regina's nose wrinkled and her eyes sparkled as she laughed. Emma wrapped her up in her arms "Fucking witch hunt, oh my god" she kissed her head, then when she looked up, her lips.

"Whatever happens we're a team" Emma said

"Agreed" Regina replied and kissed her again. “Now go clean up before we go. You can’t shake anyone’s hands like this” she touched them, they were dry but held remnants of both of their pleasure.

“God” Emma said before she went to wash. Regina waited by the door for her and did one last sweeping glance to make sure they hadn't left anything. She had always liked this place but hardly ever found a reason to come out here. She watched the blueish darkness of the forest blur against the dimming sky.

"Here we go" Emma said, opening the door. She hung back for a moment to kiss Regina. They leant back into the doorframe, Regina’s hands finding her hips, sliding around her waist. Emma pulled away and nudged her nose with her own “we can’t start this again” 

“Pity” Regina smiled and pulled the door closed. The cold air seemed to bring anxiety with it. The way it blew told her to prepare. The chill reminded her to hold onto warmth. She turned to see Emma already walking to the car, towards their fate whatever it may be.

"Hey remember that time you shouted that you loved me in the street? That was cool" Emma turned to watch Regina walking up to her.

"I do remember” she said, brushing her playfully as she walked by “Do you remember the romantic speech you made me? You're fucking in love with me" 

"Yeah I am" Emma smiled before swinging her door open.

Regina's fears would not be suppressed, though she did her best to contain them. She glanced at Emma periodically as she drove. Emma got through to Henry who was with Mary Margaret and David. He warned them not to go to the mansion, but to the loft instead. When they got there Leroy and co stood outside with a pick axes.

"Well look who it is" he sneered

"Leroy, do you mind? I live here" Emma said when he blocked her way to the front of the door. Regina felt an old itch to force them out of her way, to teach them a lesson to do what Emma told them or suffer the consequences. She held it at bay as plan B, letting Emma try her way first. 

"Fine,” He spat eventually “but she doesn't. She stays out here"

Fire almost burst through Regina’s fingers, as if this was her excuse. He was impudent, she had a solid reason now, didn’t she? Magic surged in her, only kept in place by her will and Emma’s voice.

"How about I arrest you for disorderly conduct if you don't get out of the way? It’ll be hard to lead your band of broters from a jail cell" She said. He frowned at them both and then moved. "Thank you" Emma said.

Regina kept her chin up, determined to keep whatever highground she had almost just lost, and followed Emma. The throb in her chest deepened. Emma knocked on Mary Margaret’s door and was greeted with a hug she didn't see coming.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret squeezed her hard "oh my god, you did it, you broke the curse! What did you do?"

She held her face and David appeared beside her "Emma" he smiled as if he was meeting her for the first time "can I hug you?"

"Uh, I guess" she said, though she remained rooted to the position she had been in for Mary Margaret’s onslaught of affection. No one seemed to notice Regina stood behind her until she turned to her. "So" Mary Margaret gasped. "Before you do anything” Emma held up her hands “I know you're worried about things with Graham, about the timings of our statements not working out. It’s because Regina took me to Graham's. We didn't think there would be taxis, so she took me by magic. So like, please don't arrest either of us" She chanced a smile but neither of them were looking at her. Their eyes were fixed behind her.

"Regina" Mary Margaret said

"Snow" she replied. Emma recognised the distance in her voice, she was waiting to see what happened.

"We have a lot to discuss, but one thing is first" David said as he surged forward, grabbed her arm, forced on a cuff and stepped back. They stared at it as if they expected more. Regina yanked her arm away from him and tried to pull it off, but it resisted. 

David seemed satisfied and grabbed his handcuffs "you're under arrest for crimes against the people of the Enchanted Forest"

"David what the hell are you doing?" Emma asked. Regina stared at her hands until they were forced behind her.

"She needs to be kept locked up" He shoved Regina around and she turned to stare at him.

“What did you do?” She asked in a low, threatening rumble. The cuffs were far too tight on her, they pinched but she could do nothing. The spell to make things appear and disappear fell impotent as she drew it forth. The magic in her died. She felt its loss like a limb. Her voice cracked slightly. “Charming, what the hell did you do?”

"What? Why? What are you doing?" Emma asked

“What needs to be done, honey” Mary Margaret reached out for her and she pushed her hand away.

“David stop!” Emma grabbed his arm but he pushed Regina towards the staircase.

“Mom?” Henry asked from the door.

Regina seemed to snap out of the fear spiral she had been falling into. “Henry”

“David, Emma, what-?” he asked, unable to find words

David hesitated “It’s for the best Henry. She has to be held responsible”

“Sweetheart it’s ok. You’ll know what to do. You’re a clever boy, you figured all of this out”

“Alright” David cut her off.

A flash of anger tore through Emma at David coming between Henry and his mother.

“For god’s sake David, can you give her a second?” her hand was still on his arm, she looked to Regina. She had tears in her eyes as she looked to Henry. Fear, shame and longing poured from her. “You know what? No, this isn’t how we’re gonna do this” she pushed him way from Regina and, to her surprise she let him.

“Emma do you have any idea what she’s done-”

“David!” she cut him off “Everything will still be here tomorrow. You’ve waited like 30 years, one more night isn’t going to kill you. Why aren’t you more concerned with bringing people back together than locking Regina away- Jesus fuck how tight did you put these on?” she asked, unlocking the handcuffs.

“Emma! She has to pay for-”

“I am done arguing this with you. We are still going to be here tomorrow.”

Silence rang in all of their ears. Henry watched from the door. David hovered by Regina. Regina stared at the cuff on her wrist again feeling lost and weak. Emma burned with the need to keep her people together. Her and Henry and Regina would have one night at least while they figured the rest out.

“How did you break the curse?” Henry asked eventually.

They all looked at Emma who was watching Regina shift uncomfortably. Her fingers slid under the cuff but it wouldn’t budge. “I have a theory but I was hoping to talk to Emma about it first.” 

“So you can talk her into some farce?” Mary Margaret asked “How about you just tell us now?”

Emma glared at her, then looked back to Regina. Regina looked like she wanted to set Mary Margaret on fire, like she might actually have been trying to, but nothing happened. She swallowed and turned to Emma. Her eyes were sad and happy and apprehensive. She swallowed and said “I think it was True Love’s Kiss”

David laughed “You can be serious”. Mary Margaret did the same until she caught the way Emma was looking at her. 

Regina wished no one else was there. She wished she had had a chance to talk to Emma first. Emma who ran after she told her about magic, who ran once she had decided to stay, who had been dying to run from this town since she got here. Emma doesn’t like fairytales. She doesn’t believe in The One. She struggled to accept the truth even when it stood in front of her, telling her that his therapist was Jiminy Cricket.

There might have been sound around them. People might have been speaking but neither of them heard. The space between them seemed enormous and she wanted nothing more than to pull her into her arms and away from these people who would separate them. Snow White she eyed carefully, the biggest threat to her happiness since the day they met.

“Would that be strong enough?” Henry asked

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat and never took her eyes from Emma’s “Love it the most powerful magic of all, sweetheart” and it was unclear who exactly she was speaking to.

“That’s impossible” Mary Margaret said with tears in her eyes “Your heart is black. You’re evil and a murderer and you’re incapable of love”

“No she’s not!” Henry said angrily

“I, sorry Henry. I just…” she turned back to Regina “I don’t believe you.” Regina didn’t respond, still focussed on Emma, on reading her reaction which so far had been not to react. Mary Margaret looked to her daughter and spoke in a softer voice that sounded almost regretful. “What did it feel like? Emma?”

Her eyes snapped away from Regina’s and she mumbled “Um, er, I don’t know. When?”

“When you supposedly-” Mary Margaret began

“When you kissed me” Regina interrupted “this afternoon. When you let go of everything else and it was only us and you were just yourself” she saw Mary Margaret roll her eyes behind her and a smile flickered into being on Henry’s face.

“I felt...high” she shrugged “I felt this rush, but, I don’t know, what is it supposed to feel like? I felt like I was losing my grip on reality but, I kind of always feel like that when we kiss, I dunno”

Regina’s heart swelled, though she knew that wasn’t going to be enough for Snow who was drawing a breath probably to say something awful.

“And” Emma continued “It felt warm, not just surface warm but all the way through me, like it stretched out forever and I was connected to everything. It was, yeah, a rush of something. Love. I guess. For you” Emma’s cheeks were pink and she dropped her eyes to the floor while Regina’s stayed on her, consumed by wonder and gratitude for this woman before her.

“And you, Regina?” David asked quietly.

“It was magic. Perfect and light and never ending.” she said as though she had been thinking about it for hours. Emma swept her up into her arms in a split second. 

“Awesome” Henry said front the door. Regina let herself smile and accept Emma in front of her parents, accept Henry’s delight at them, accept Emma’s promise of ‘everything will be ok’.

David and Mary Margaret stared at each other across the hall, unable to comprehend what they were seeing. Their daughter holding, kissing and completely in love with the bane of their existence.

When Emma set her down again, her hands slid down her arms and bumped over the cuff. “What’s this?”

“It’s to keep us safe” Mary Margaret said, avoiding her eyes.

She turned to David who was doing the same. “What is it?” She asked again, suspicion in her voice.

“Emma, I think it’s fair to ask that you leave it since we’ve agreed Regina can have one more night of freedom.” Emma turned to them, one hand in Regina’s and looked them both over.

“I think I know, Emma” Regina said quietly. Emma turned to her and she held her palm open. “I’m trying to summon magic...and it’s not coming”

Emma stared at her hand. Nothing happened. She looked to Regina’s face and recognised that specific frown that meant she was fighting the tears trying to escape from her eyes.

“No way. Take it off” she said to David. He didn’t reply. She looked to Mary Margaret “Take it off! Where did you even get it from?”

“They got it from Gold. I don’t know who he is” Henry said when neither of them replied.

“Rumplestiltskin?” Regina asked, her voice straining to keep her tears at bay.

“What!? Henry in your book he’s the worst, right? Of everyone?” Henry nodded “And you’re helping him? Are you out of your minds? I thought you were the good guys! How do you get this off? There has to be a way”

“Emma it’s for our safety!” David said

“Against who? She’s not going to do anything to you! It’s her that needs protection!”

“What?” 

“Well if you two are supposed to be leaders I’m surprised the entire town isn’t over here cheering you on, oh wait maybe that’s because there’s a pack of dwarves with pick axes guarding the building”

“They’re the royal guard” Mary Margaret said quietly

“I don’t care, they threatened someone I love and you don’t want her to be able to defend herself?”

“She’s on the same level as the rest of us now” David said

“That’s fucked up”

“Emma” Regina said quietly

“Sorry- I didn’t mean to swear in front of the kind but I mean, priorities right now-”

“No, I mean, it’s ok about the cuff. Snow is right, it puts me on the same level as everyone else. The dwarves are guarding the building so no one is going to come in. I’ll be safe as long as I’m with you. Right?” She looked to Mary Margaret “You think that’s a promise you can keep, Snow White?” 

Mary Margaret almost blushed but she nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next update might be a little while because it's NaNoWriMo.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it's been so long since the last update. Here's a long-ish one to make up for it. I hope you like it!

The air in the apartment felt heavy with things that needed to be said, things none of them wanted to say. Regina knew Emma and Henry felt the same whiplash she did from the way they both stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Emma’s hands hung by her side, artificially casual as if waiting for the next disaster to strike. Henry’s were shoved deep into his pockets. His shoulders were slightly hunched, morphing him into a young teenager before her eyes. He watched Emma, waiting for her to react. He knew the decisions were hers to make, and he knew that they would follow her whatever she decided. The sense of normalcy that they had been carefully fostering was about to be ripped from them. They all sensed it. 

Regina didn’t have an answer for them. Her body felt dull with shock while her mind raced through hundreds of scenarios, memories and predictions. She needed space. She needed to move. She needed to not stand around in the mire of silence and inaction that seemed to be drawing them all in.

“I think I'll shower” she said. Her voice was quiet but it was loud enough to be clearly heard in the silent room.

Emma looked up and nodded after a moment. “Ok” she said “make it quick” 

Regina raised an eyebrow. The least she deserved after her performance earlier was a long, hot shower. Her muscles ached and she was uncomfortable in the dress she had worn all day. Emma's shoulders were high and tight. She just wanted to keep eyes on her, she wanted her to be safe. Regina didn’t complain as she moved towards the bathroom.

“The towels are-” Emma started

“I know where the towels are” she said with a smile

“Right” Emma rubbed the palms of her hands down her jeans and looked at Henry. She might have been checking if he was also panicking, but he didn’t seem to be. His shoulders still slouched but he was watching with alert eyes.

“Can you find something for me to wear?” Regina asked

“Yeah”

“No leather” she said over her shoulder and the bathroom door closed with that.

She let the water heat up, swishing her hand through the cold stream. She sighed heavily letting everything out in one big rush. The noise was masked by the shower of water and she stared into the mirror. Her eyes stayed on the reflection as she tied up her hair and slipped out of her dress. It moved with her and didn’t misbehave. If her darkness was going to rear it’s head, now would be an ideal time. Her insecurities said it was only a matter of time before Emma chose her parents over her. They said ‘run first, push her away, don’t let her hurt you’. Anxiety bubbled low in her stomach, rasping for her attention until her eyes fell on the mug on the sink that held Emma and Henry’s toothbrushes. It was so simple and domestic. She had never shared a bathroom with anyone and now all of their lives collided in one space where Emma’s hair brush fought for space with Henry’s talcum powder and his towel hung on the radiator while hers hung on the door. If Regina had her magic she would have summoned her own toothbrush and dropped it in too. she would have to buy one tomorrow. She smiled at the thought, ignoring the threat that tomorrow may mean imprisonment, and climbed into the shower. 

She reappeared after a while in the clothes Emma had put out for her, dark jeans and most presentable t-shirt she could find. She pulled a sweatshirt off a dining chair and slid that on as well. It smelled like Emma and the sleeves were a little too long for her, which she would never admit to liking.

“I'm pleasantly surprised. I half expected your ratty Lou Reed t-shirt” she said, standing next to Emma, slouching in a dining chair.

“Excuse me, I wouldn't trust you with my ratty Lou Reed t-shirt” she replied and dropped the pen she had been holding to wrap her arms around Regina’s waist.

She smiled and brushed her fingers through Emma’s hair. “What's all this?” She asked, looking at Emma’s scribble filled notepad. There were also two steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the table. Henry was in the kitchen filling up a third from a pan on the stove.

“Could you two stand a bit closer? I think there's like a millimetre between you” He said, walking over to the table with his own mug. He’d picked up Emma’s snark in recent weeks. She noted the cheeky smile he delivered it with. It was Emma all over.

“Oh my god, you're right!” Emma said and pulled her closer. Regina slid onto her lap and wrapped her arms around Emma's head, covering her face with splayed hands.

“Better, sweetheart?” She looked at him with a smile

“Loads” Emma said from behind her fingers. Henry giggled and she lowered her hands.

“Hi” Emma smiled up at her

“Hi” 

“Gross” Henry said, although his wide smile said something different.

“Can you go pack an overnight bag?” Emma asked, breaking away from Regina’s look with effort.

Concern flared up in her chest. She was about to be taken into the custody of the Charmings. If Henry wasn’t with Emma, who was going to keep him safe? She thought of the notebook. Emma had a plan, she reminded herself before reacting.

He sighed “where am I going now?”

“I'll tell you when you've packed your bag” she replied

“Moooom” he looked at Regina

“Listen to your m- Emma” she corrected herself and pursed her lips. Henry's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as he turned and headed for his room.

“Memma?” Emma asked once he was up the stairs

“Shut up” Regina looked away from her.

“No I like it, am I your Memma too?”

Regina frowned down at her “You're mine whatever you want to call yourself, even when you're being insufferable” she moved to get up but Emma pulled her back down.

“Kiss me?”

“No”

“True loves kiss me?” Emma grinned

The sharp breath Regina took in was small and hardly noticeable. If Emma’s arms hadn’t been so tight around her she wouldn't have noticed it at all, but she did and she smiled wider.

“You're going to be the ruin of me, Emma Swan” she said, leaning down slowly

“Good, then we’ll be even” Emma tipped her chin up to meet her

Regina kissed her with tenderness that gave her goosebumps. She kissed her slowly, sliding her hands into her hair, letting her lips tug at Emma’s as she pulled away, letting the flurry of feelings she felt out in the small noises she made. When she pulled away Emma’s eyes stayed closed. She watched her soak it all up, only looking away when she heard Henry coming back downstairs.

“So where am I going?” He asked grumpily. 

“Home” Emma said with a sigh of relief “we’re all going home”

For a moment no one spoke.

“Seriously?” Henry asked, tentatively smiling while looking between them. 

Regina stared down at her “but...your parents, you’ve only just met them”

“Mary Margaret and David are...whatever, they’re not my family, you guys are. And if they want to take you away, I’m gonna beat them to it.”

Regina took in everything about her. The hands clasped protectively around her waist, the decisive set of her mouth, the way she nodded at Henry. She had made up her mind, it was happening. Snow and David had backed her into a corner and this was her escape. She almost regretted that they would never know her. They failed to see that their ideal, romantic, rose tinted world never existed for Emma. They saw her as a liberator, a chosen one fulfilling her destiny, one of them. She saw them as a threat to her happiness, two people who barely knew her, making demands on her that they had no right to.

Regina’s instinct told her this wasn't the time to run. She knew Snow, she knew Charming, they were nothing if not persistent. They would pursue her and who knew what that could lead to? But it was Emma’s choice, the one she had given her all along and she wasn’t going to rescind it now, when she needed it. Emma had decided they were going, so they were. She kissed her forehead. 

“Wow, I'm gonna need more stuff” Henry said taking his bag back upstairs 

“Are you going to tell them you're leaving?” Regina asked

“No, I figure we can make a cleaner getaway if no one knows”

A getaway. So it was an escape. It almost felt sordid. She wondered if Emma was planning to take them down the fire escape too. They were sneaking out in the middle of the night, like teenagers running away from home. The thought threw an image of a blonde haired girl climbing out of a window and into the night to her mind. If anyone knew how to run it was Emma Swan. She regretted her harsher thoughts.

“Will you leave them a note?”

“Like what? ‘Why don't you want me to have love in my life? Peace out, Emma, kiss kiss”

Regina hugged her. She was hurt. She wanted answers and she wanted them to leave her alone. She kissed the top of her head and Emma mumbled into her shoulder.

“I'm gonna get a shower too”

“Ok” Regina waited until she looked up to kiss her again and let her go.

“Want to join me?” Emma asked with a wink as she headed for the bathroom.

“If our son wasn't upstairs” she replied, settling back into Emma’s chair

“Your loss” Emma said with a sigh, turning to the door

“Don't I know it” Regina replied and smiled naughtily as she glanced back at her.

It was the right thing to say. Emma screwed her smile to one side trying to conceal it, but she couldn't. She felt wanted and that was what she needed.

-

“God I needed that” Emma said, walking out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam tumbling around her. She was fully dressed with a towel was over her head. She rubbed her hair dry underneath it.

“We have visitors” Regina said stiffly.

Emma whipped the towel away to see her sitting at the table with Mary Margaret and David.

“Oh” she said looking from them, to Regina whose back was straight as a rod, then back at them with their twinkly hopeful eyes.

“Hi guys, what do you want? I thought we were going to talk tomorrow?”

“I just thought there were some things that couldn't wait” Mary Margaret said, unclasping and clasping her hands with nervous energy.

Emma sat opposite her parents, noticing that Regina had seated herself at the head of the table. For anyone observing it could easily be seen as Regina’s dominant inclinations, but it also meant she wasn't across from the Charmings, she wasn't seated adversarially. Considering that they seemed to want her dead, Emma thought that was a clever choice and she didn't really mind losing out on her favourite seat.

“We just couldn't sit downstairs knowing you were here. We’ve wasted so much time already. We want to know you Emma, we want to know all about you”

“What?” Emma looked at them like they were mad. Regina kept her face a mask though her right eyebrow raised millimetres. At least she could read Emma even if no one else could. Her hackles were up. “What makes you think you're entitled to that?”

Mary Margaret’s face fell and David touched her arm “Emma we’re-”

“My parents, yeah, who put me in a wardrobe and sent me off into the world without you”

“Because of her!” They said almost in unison, pointing at Regina.

“Stop!” Emma waved a hand to cut across them “This isn’t about her. That doesn't change that you're strangers to me. I've dreamt of this moment my whole life and it's...look as long as you want to hurt her we’re not going to get along”

Regina’s brow was wrinkled in concern. She watched them all. Mary Margaret and David cast accusatory glances her way and she stared back as if she was made of stone. She wasn’t going to give an inch and Emma felt it from across the table.

“Emma do you know what's she's done?” David asked quietly

“Yes”

“She's murdered and tortured and most recently kept us apart for 28 years”

“And I've been alone for 28 years. I have forgiven her and as long as you won't that puts us on opposite sides”

She felt anger swilling around in her stomach. She felt betrayed that they would do this to her. People she convinced herself she didn’t want to care about, but who she loved and wanted to love her. She was so far beyond being freaked out by the situation that she almost didn’t care anymore. They had drawn the battle lines for her, all she did was pick a side and it wasn't theirs. As long as there were sides she wouldn't be on theirs.

Every glance they threw at Regina pissed her off more, as if turning Emma against them had been part of a master plan. As if Emma was a fool being manipulated. As if she hadn’t been just as responsible for breaking the curse as Emma had. They stared stubbornly at each other until Regina broke the silence.

“Ok, this isn't about who’s been hurt the most, it's about Emma. You want her in your life, she has made her terms clear. What do you decide, Charmings? It's Emma or your revenge”

“Justice” David corrected

“Yeah well there'll be no fairytale land justice.” Emma sat back in her chair, folding her arms “This is Maine and the death penalty is illegal and I'm still the sheriff unless you want to ‘justice’ me as well.” The corners of Regina's mouth tightened ever so slightly, hiding a smile. “I mean it. Come up with a way to get ‘justice’ that doesn't involve hurting the woman I love. I mean, you've got Gold on your side, I thought he was the worst bad guy. How can you trust him?”

“Well he has no magic so he isn’t really a threat” David said with a humourless laugh as he gestured to Regina. She was the threat, that’s what he was implying. Emma’s blood boiled.

“And how do you know that? Did he tell you?” She asked and they were quiet “this is ridiculous. What if he was lying? What if he has some big plan to destroy the town or something? Did he tell you how to take the cuff off at least?”

“He said it would take magic, so we’re pretty safe for now”

“He-” Regina jolted in her seat and stopped herself quickly. She smoothed out creases of the jeans she wore and licked her top lip before she looked back up at them. “In a town where I am...supposedly...the only one who possesses magic, it will take magic to remove this?” She lifted her wrist and they winced at the action. An automatic response, Emma supposed, but a nasty one. For a moment she saw a flicker of how scared they were of Regina. The bravado and bluster was a wall, deep down she scared them. She looked at the way Regina’s fingers curled automatically as if she was holding a weapon for them to flinch at. For a split second she understood.

“Well, yeah” David said

Regina looked wide eyed at Mary Margaret who stared back “We didn’t know what to expect from you! We were protecting the town! Protecting Emma”

Regina’s lips drew to a tight rosebud and her jaw clenched as she stared.

“So if Gold is lying and has a plan, you’ve handed over the best defence we had?” Emma asked glancing between Regina and them.

“It’s not a punishment” Mary Margaret said, ignoring her point

“Maybe it should be” David said watching Regina constrict, doing her best not to squirm in her seat. She looked back at him sharply “what better punishment than for you to have to walk around just as vulnerable as the rest of us”

“Oh yes, Charming, you and your sword are widely known for your impotence” she snapped. 

He smiled “You’re not hurt and you can’t hurt anyone else. What did you want, to just be left alone? We wanted that too, remember?”

“So you admit that this is good old fashioned revenge. I’m glad you’re not dressing it up as Snow’s virginal, juvenile justice any longer”

“It is justice, what were we supposed to tell the town? That you’re forgiven and to leave you be? They would never do that” Mary Margaret said

“Ugh” she scoffed “Of course they would. They would do anything you said, it’s sycophantic. Disgusting really”

“Alright” Emma interrupted “Regina isn’t hurt, we can’t get the cuff off now anyway. We’ll talk about this in the morning”

“Over breakfast?” Snow asked hopefully

“Fine, whatever” Emma waved a hand watching Regina. Her nostrils flared briefly, she covered it by brushing hair from her face. She was close to tears or something worse. Emma had to get her parents out before they said anything else and Regina threw them out. “It’s late, we should all get some rest” 

As soon as she locked the door behind them Regina’s hand covered her mouth while the other rested on her stomach.

“Hey, it’s ok, we’ll find a way to get it off” Emma said. Regina let her hand drop to her hip and closed her eyes tight and nodded. “We’re just appeasing them until we can get rid of it”

Regina’s lips were pressed hard together, as if keeping them closed was the only thing keeping her from crying. Her lower lip trembled slightly and Emma pulled her from the seat into a hug. As soon as she did the tension fled Regina’s body and she gasped as her tears fell.

“I know” Emma said, holding her tighter “I know what magic means to you. I know it’s gotten you out of fucked up situations, I know it saved and ruined your life, I know sometimes it was all you had and I know you feel lost without it. We’re going to get it back, I promise”

Regina shook, crying in her arms for the second time ever and the second time that day. 

“We’re not going home anymore, are we?” Henry asked from the top of the stairs. She felt Regina tense against her, knowing Henry could see crying. She shook her head and he nodded, disappointment clear on his face. Her heart sank as he turned and plodded back to his room. She had kept Regina alive at the cost of something she loved, something that was part of her. Her son was disappointed and wanted to go back to his home. Her parents were upset and probably disappointed too.

Regina pulled back and wiped her face. She must have known how heavy Henry’s disappointment weighed on her “I’m ok, thank you” she kissed her cheek “I know you’re fighting fires. You’re right, you’re doing the right thing”

Her heart hurt “Am I?”

Regina kissed her again and she felt the ache in her chest subside briefly. “Come to bed, you’ve had a long day” 

Regina took her hand and lead her slowly towards their room. She let herself be tugged along, trudging heavily behind her. Regina pulled her towards the bed, kissed her, then nudged her enough so that she fell to a sitting position. 

“First of all, you’re not going to need your getaway clothes” Regina tugged the black tank top off and sat astride her lap.

“Then neither are you” she said as Regina leant down to kiss her. She arched an eyebrow before pulling them hem of the tshirt and sweatshirt up and over her head in one. Emma slid her hands up her sides and kissed her chest.

“You’re going to have to learn to take your turn” Regina said, taking her hands and pushing her back into the bed. She kissed her stomach and Emma closed her eyes.

“Yes ma’am” she said as Regina popped the button on her jeans “whatever you say, Madam Mayor” she sighed as she wriggled out of her pants

“I’m glad to hear it, Sheriff” she replied in her I’m-the-boss voice that gave Emma goosebumps. “Make yourself comfortable, I may be a little while” 

She felt Regina’s nails scrape her thighs as she hooked her underwear and pulled them down. She obviously wasn’t in the mood for torture. She didn’t play with her, she didn’t tease up and down her legs, brushing her almost too lightly to feel. She kissed between her legs like she was starving for it. She let her tongue explore and she tugged lips into her mouth. Emma hummed and her tongue danced lightly around her clit. 

“Shit” Emma said, reaching wide across the bed for something to hold onto. One hand found pillows while the other laced through Regina’s hair and found the back of her neck. She pulled her harder to her and Regina sucked harder in response.

“Yeah” Emma managed as she clenched, pushing herself towards the climax Regina was leading her to. “Fingers”

Regina sucked two fingers before sliding them into Emma, one at a time. Emma groaned “more”

It was helping, it was making her forget, making her hurt less the longer it went on, the better Regina made her feel. She needed more, she needed to block out everything until it was only them.

There was only a brief pause while Regina wet a third finger and slid it in. It almost hurt. It was almost too much. Regina’s free hand snaked up her body, squeezing and scratching as she went. She drew back down and placed it on her abdomen. She pressed gently and suddenly she was reaching somewhere that she hadn’t been before. Emma felt her fingers deeper, harder, filling her completely.

“Fuck” Emma groaned and lifted her hips. “Oh my god, I don’t know if I can take this”

“You can” Regina said softly. She kissed her thighs as she continued pushing deep and slow. Every thrust sent a wave of tingling pleasure over Emma. She felt it at the bottom of her spine, radiating out through her entire body, to her toes, fingertips, nipples, making her head tingle.

Regina began moving faster, being rougher and it was everything. She withdrew attention from her clit to give her full strength to fucking her. Emma rode it out gasping at the change in pace and how much she needed it. Rough and simple and good. So so good. She came hard, hips lifting well off the bed, straining with every muscle in her body, clenching tight around three of Regina’s fingers as if she was never going to let them go.

She came back down to the bed with a crash and felt Regina withdraw slowly. She left her lying there, satisfied and well fucked. She opened her eyes when she felt the pressure on the bed change. Regina pulled back the sheets and climbed in.

“Hey” Emma followed

“Hey” Regina said, leaning on her elbow on her side

“Is it my turn now, Madam Mayor?”

“Only if you want it” Regina brushed the hair out of her face “that was just for you”

“I want it” Emma said and she smiled. She kissed her softly, far more softly than she expected. Emma nudged her over onto her back. She reached down between them. “You’re wet, Madam Mayor” she kissed her neck

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah” Emma replied sliding her fingers down and up and then inside. She was hot and wet and aching.

“Oh” was all Regina said as Emma’s fingers curled as she withdrew and pushed in again.

Regina’s hands were all over her, pulling her into kisses, squeezing her breasts, pinching her nipples, digging her nails in. She needed Emma as much as Emma needed her, but she wasn’t going to ask. She wasn’t going to take anything that wasn’t freely given.

“Ma’am, you’re making it very difficult to concentrate” Emma said, taking her wrists and pinning them down above her head. She slid her thumb over her clit and Regina convulsed “Oh wow you’re close aren’t you? I know you are. I know you. I know how to give you what you need”

Regina moaned and bit her lip. She frowned as her hips rose to meet Emma’s thumb again. Emma kissed her breasts, her ribs, her neck until she began to roll. She undulated underneath her, making Emma fuck her the way she wanted. Emma held her wrists tighter.

“God you want it so bad, don’t you? The mayor, the boss, you need it just as much as everyone else, and you’re so close, so desperate”

Regina gasped and Emma kissed her collarbone, up her neck. As she pushed harder her noises grew louder. Emma held her arms down tighter but Regina resisted. She was close, starting to shake, swear and moan out her name. Emma slipped a little and she grabbed the cuff. It was stuck so she might as well use it to her advantage. Regina tightened around her and she felt her orgasm coming. She leant on her arms and the cuff slipped. Emma fell into her body as Regina gasped, eyes snapping open as her body broke into climax at once. 

“Emma!” Regina cried, it was breathy and reverent.

“What?” she asked, slowing before she stopped completely

“The cuff” she panted “my magic, I can feel it. You did it”

Emma slid to one side and pulled her aching arm down. “Fuck”

The cuff was in her hand and Regina smiled up at her. Her body glistened gently with sweat from their exertions. She glanced over her, chest rising and falling quickly. Her hair was a mess across the pillows. Emma was still staring when Regina pulled her into a kiss. A long, slow, deep and aching kiss. It went dark. Regina must have turned the lights off. With magic.

-

Emma was edgy. Sleep wouldn’t come even though her body ached with tiredness. Her mind whirred so fast and loud she was surprised Regina couldn’t hear it. She seemed to be asleep. She had an arm around her waist and a leg nestled between hers so the top of her thigh brushed the underneath of Emma’s. Her breathing was deep and even as she purred into Emma’s shoulder. Their bodies together were warm, comforting and peaceful in a way she hadn’t felt for a long time. But it was about to be taken away, wasn’t it? She shuffled around again, trying to find a position that didn’t twinge with worry and discomfort. Regina lifted her arm so she could turn, so she wasn’t be asleep.

“I can’t stop thinking” Emma whispered

Regina prised her eyes apart with what looked like a lot of effort. Her face creased into the sleepy frown that she usually only displayed first thing in the morning.

“You’re not thinking” Regina murmured “you’re worrying. Use your white room”

“I have, it’s not working!”

“What about your mind palace?”

“That’s not working either” she replied with irritation

“Did you go to your library?” Regina asked, squinting to keep her eyes open.

“Yes!” Emma huffed a breath out. 

They had been in bed for what felt like forever. She had tried every sleep trick she knew, including the ‘happy place’ that she called her mind palace. It had changed over the years, starting with the white room. Later she added a small room, bright with natural light, with a wooden floor and white walls. There was a deep window seat, comfy for reading, and the walls were lined with bookcases filled with stories and things she just wanted to remember. She wouldn’t call it a library, but that’s what Regina called it. She figured you could take the queen out of the castle…

“Ok” Regina shifted and looked up at her. Half of her face was obscured by pillow, but one dark, sleepy eye was watching her “what do you need?”

“I need a new brain”

Regina smiled and rolled onto her back. “I’m afraid I don’t have any spares tin man, what do you need that I can give you?”

“Did you just make a movie reference?” Emma turned onto her side, closing the gap between them before any warmth was lost.

“It was a literary reference” Regina wiped the sleep from the corners of her eyes gently.

“Of course it was.” That was rubbish. Regina had only watched the film because Emma made her, and even then she didn’t like the representation of magic in it. There was no way she had read the Oz books since. Emma played along anyway “I’m impressed”

“Well it doesn’t usually take much” she smiled sarcastically and sat up. She had summoned her own clothes from the mansion, but pulled Emma’s sweatshirt over her pyjamas. Emma’s heart swelled watching her, completely at home in her home.

“Tea?” Regina asked, turning on the fairy lights strewn across the dresser. They lit the room with a gentle yellow glow. 

“Cocoa?” she asked hopefully but got a frown in reply.

“Tea.”

“Ugh, herbal tea doesn’t taste of anything”

“Sugar is not going to help you sleep” Regina replied, her voice dropping to a whisper as she opened the bedroom door.

“Neither is hot water!” she whispered back forcefully.

By the time she found something to wear and made it to the kitchen the tea was brewing and Regina was staring at the cuff on the counter.

“Hey” Emma said as she approached. 

“Hey” Regina replied automatically. Her mind was far away. 

Emma slid her arms around her waist and leant her head on her shoulder. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to being allowed to do that again. She’d never take it for granted anyway. “What are we doing?”

“I’m thinking, you’re just being cute” Regina’s hand came up to touch her face. She turned and placed a kiss in her palm, a little bit to say thank you, and a little bit just to be cute. 

“You think we should tell Henry about the cuff?” Emma asked

“I don’t know. I don’t want to lie to him. Perhaps we can tell him half the story and make up for it later?”

“Tell him what? That you can get it off?”

“Well, you took it off…if you remember” Regina slid her arms over hers.

Emma grinned “we can’t tell him that bit”

Regina laughed and covered her mouth, glancing up the stairs to make sure Henry wasn’t up “No. Oh dear”

“Don’t want to give the poor kid nightmares, I mean, god”

She could feel Regina smiling. She turned and kissed her cheek three times in quick succession. Regina slid slowly from her arms. She looked up at her with warmth and ease she didn’t think she had ever seen in her. Warmth was one thing, but Regina looked positively relaxed. It wasn’t the free look in her eye the night they met, the night Emma had found something she hadn’t been looking for. That night had been the sort of free that had an end date. She was savouring it and she hadn’t been looking for anything either.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Regina asked

“The cuff?”

“What’s keeping you awake”

“Oh” Emma leant back on the opposite counter. She didn’t really. Standing in her kitchen in the middle of night, it seemed like a good time to hide from everything that was going on. Real life was a mess and she would much rather pretend things were fine. “Just…everything”

Regina held her mug between both hands and blew on it gently. She sipped it and watched Emma over it’s steaming brim.

“That cannot be drinkable yet”

Regina smiled darkly. There was a story there that she had yet to hear “not for you, give it another minute”

“I want to know what that smile is about” Emma said

Regina pushed it to one side. “Another night. So” 

Emma tried to get back to what she had been thinking before Regina’s smile distracted her. She would definitely get that story one day. “It’s…it’s them, Mary Margaret and David. They don’t know me, and I don’t know them and they’re” she held out her hand, palm up and grasped at the air, feeling for the word, or maybe grasping was what she felt they were doing.

“Trying to force a level of familiarity you don’t feel?” Regina offered

“Yes! It makes me so uncomfortable” She rolled her shoulders. Regina hummed in understanding. “Mary Margaret was my friend, but I don’t know this person who hates you”

“Emma” Regina said and it was deep and soft and soothed her all by itself “she’s the same person. She’s still the one who wanted to follow us out that night we were drunk, just to make sure you were ok. She’s the same person who covered you in a blanket the nights Henry had sleepovers and you couldn’t bare to be by yourself in your apartment, and fell asleep on her couch even when you were adamant you weren’t staying. She’s the one who forced you into a support system that you needed, took you in when you constantly resisted her. That’s what Snow does. She doesn’t care what baggage you bring, once she’s yours you have to do a lot to get rid of her” Her eyebrows drew together a little as she spoke. She looked away as she remembered something and a shadow of regret passed over her eyes.

“It’s just…how can she have thought I would let her do all that stuff? Just take you away?”

“Perhaps she just didn’t know how we…how things are between us”

Regina rarely misspoke. She was measured and thoughtful. She was never careless. Emma thought the only times she messed up were when she began saying something and changed her mind. They had exchanged ‘I love you’s and she still hesitated. It might have made Emma nervous if the first time she heard it hadn’t been Regina literally shouting it in the middle of the street. If she didn’t know it was completely true. If she didn’t see it in the way she looked at her, the way she touched her, the way she wrapped Emma around her. The thought made her smile. Regina’s eyes narrowed and her lip curled as she watched her dimples appear.

“What?”

“Mary Margaret knows I love you. She was there, remember? She knows I was out of my mind with everything and…holy shit” she covered her mouth “she heard us that night you came round for dinner”

“Heard us fight?” Regina asked after a moment of letting ‘I love you’ sink in

“No…” Emma waited with a small smile. 

Regina’s head tilted to one side before her eyes widened suddenly “No”

“Oh yeah”

“Oh my god” Regina bit her bottom lip

“Yep, and I got an earful about it when I went downstairs to get Henry”

Regina gasped and covered her mouth “Henry?”

“He didn’t hear it. She put the TV on loud. We kind of owe her one actually. She was like” She made her voice higher and softer with the shrill pitch of irritation and a slight country lilt “‘Did you do it with the mayor in the hallway, Emma?’” She had the imperious head tilt down, she knew.

“Well” Regina cocked an eyebrow “pretty much”

“Right?” Emma smirked back.

She wasn’t surprised sex wasn’t the first thing that came to mind about that night. Pain was the first thing that came to her mind too. The disappointment she had felt, the confusion, anger at Graham and at herself when they had been so close to figuring something out, and complete consumption by her mixed up feelings for Regina.

“So Snow knows we…we’re…what are we?”

“What did you call us once? Sweethearts?”

Regina smirked “There’s nothing sweet about what we did that night”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” she grinned “You said you’re too old to be my girlfriend. Partner?” Regina grimaced. “Yeah it doesn’t feel right, huh?” she shook her head and continued to sip her tea. “You’re my” she opened her hands again, as if waiting for inspiration to fall into them “you’re my…I don’t know, you’re just mine. You want to talk about the race politics of shows I make you watch and you fucking google old wives tales just so you can have the last word”

“Well your claim about bread crusts was truly outrageous, Emma, there’s no evidence-“

“You see!” Emma interrupted but she carried on regardless

“-give you curly hair, and you go filling Henry’s head with this nonsense!”

Her chest felt flooded with warmth, while she stood in her kitchen which felt more like home than it ever had, while Regina gave her a hard time about telling Henry innocuous things that he knew weren’t true anyway. She couldn’t dwell on it much longer without water coming to her eyes.

“I don’t have a word for what you are,” Emma said quietly, it was low and came straight from her heart “I think the word for what we are is ‘together’. Right? We’re so together”

Regina thought for a moment “Yes, that’s nice.”

For a minute they just looked at each other. Emma didn’t know at what point Regina had become her home, but she was, she completely was. She looked at Emma the same way, like she had found something, lost it once and never would again.

“So” she said, forcing them back on topic again “Snow knows we’re together, that we love each other” she looked up warily, even after everything. After fighting and screaming and loving, crying and fucking, after true love’s kiss it still scared her to say it out loud. Emma smiled reassurance and she continued “I imagine that, because you couldn’t tell her before the curse broke, she didn’t think you know about my past”

“About your evil queen days?” she asked

Regina nodded and kept her dark eyes on her. The corners of Emma’s mouth pressed down as she thought about it “Yeah I can see that. Might explain the self righteous, I’m-doing-what’s-best-for-everyone-even-when-they-don’t-want-it vibe”

“Oh no, she has always had that” Regina shook her head slightly. It grew quiet again as Emma imagined the reconciling Mary Margaret was having to do. Her baby was no longer a baby, baby was an adult who had to save the town. Baby was in love with Evil Queen who was the reason she grew up without them. Baby was protecting the one she loved even though her parents would rather burn her at a stake. It was hard enough to imagine her parents as human beings who make mistakes, even more when after a lifetime imagining who they were and what they were like. She supposed it wouldn’t kill her to give them some time. As long as they left Regina alone.

Regina watched her and drew a long breath before continuing “Before we came here, when I realised who you were, to Henry, I mean-”

“When you got Bobby to dig up everything there is to know about me?”

“Yes, and speaking of stories for another night” Regina’s look pinned her against the counter.

Emma rolled her eyes “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours”

“Deal”

Emma picked up her tea and started to drink it. Jasmine green tea. It didn’t taste of nothing and it smelled pretty good. She glanced up at the look in Regina’s eyes that said she knew it but she wasn’t going to say anything.

“So what were you saying about when you knew who I was?”

Regina took another deep breath and set her tea down. She didn’t look up at Emma, she was looking, it seemed, into the past. “I thought you would hate me. You had- have, every right to. So does Henry. I thought I had found something with you and when I realised the choice I had ahead of me” she touched the spot on her chest over her heart. “I had Bourneville drive me around for hours while I fought myself about telling you. I was always going to” she said quickly, looking up “it just took me a while to get ready.” she closed her eyes “I expected to lose you, to lose you both, once you really understood.” She swallowed like she tasted something bad in her mouth.

“Really?”

She nodded but still didn’t look up. Emma decided it was because thinking about it made her sad, not because she was scared it would still happen. Not after everything. Not after they broke the curse, not after the way Henry shouted at Mary Margaret for saying Regina couldn’t love.

“God” was all Emma could say, thinking back to what felt like a lifetime ago. “That’s why you pushed me away. That’s why you said we weren’t serious.” ‘That’s why you were fucking mean’ she thought but couldn’t say.

Regina looked up at her, lips pressed together and jaw tight. Emma pulled her into her arms and she slid easily into her. She knew this was hers, she knew Regina was all hers and was happy to be so. It didn’t stop her heart from clenching at the feeling of arms wrapping around her waist. 

“So Snow’s probably struggling with you knowing all of that and not hating me” Regina said into her shoulder.

“Well she’s gonna have to get used to it. You were someone else then, and I know because you love me. You couldn’t have loved anyone then. I guess that’s where Mary Margaret’s head still is”

“It is” Regina said sadly, as if she cared, or at least as if she didn’t want Mary Margaret to hate her “Poor Snow. It’s all so fresh for them. Their realisation at what they have missed out on, on missing your life, it’s all so fresh. They could have had you this whole time”

“Stop it” Emma held her tighter. She would never get used to how small Regina was in reality. She never seemed small. She seemed authoritative, sure, intimidating. But when she was crushed against her, with bunches of Emma’s clothes in her fists, her shoulders seemed slight and without her heels she was always a little shorter than Emma expected. “Stop beating yourself up about it. You didn’t make that choice, the evil queen did and they did. They put me in that fucking tree” she rolled her eyes at the madness of what she was saying. “Don’t hate yourself for this on behalf of me, or them, or anyone. Can you do that?”

After a while Regina nodded against her shoulder.

“You wanna go back to bed?” Regina nodded again but didn’t let go. “You want to stay in this hug and waddle backwards towards the bedroom?” Regina nodded and she laughed. She felt her laugh into her shoulder too and pulled away.

“Come on, Madam Mayor” she pulled her hand and Regina slid away from the counter. Emma felt the long sleeve of her own sweatshirt falling past Regina’s palm, brushing against her own. If Regina was trying to tell her she was hers, if she was trying to show her that this could be their life, if she was trying to make her feel loved and wanted, it was working.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Here's an update, I'm planning for about 3 or 4 more chapters after this one. I hope you like it!

“I doubt she meant for me to come too” Regina said sitting up in bed. Her expression turned from sleepy smiles to extreme displeasure. Emma watched in the mirror while she brushed her hair and sprayed deodorant.

“I don’t care what she meant, I think you should come” she replied. She opened her wardrobe to find most of her clothes were hung up. She’d been busy recently and definitely hadn’t hung them. When had Regina even found time?-

“They want to talk to _you_ ” Regina said from behind her hands as she gently wiped under her eyes.

“They probably want to talk _about_ you” 

“Well there’s no change there then” Regina waved a hand and let it flop back into the sheets. She was too tired for this and wanted Emma to know.

“I mean it, you’re coming” she said, turning to face Regina while she buttoned a soft denim shirt “We’ve got stuff to sort out. I’m not hiding you away, they need to see how things are now”

“Oh!” Regina complained and crawled back under the duvet. 

Emma laughed, threw open the curtains and slid underneath the sheets.

“Excuse me ma’am” she said, seeing Regina’s eyes were shut tight.

She didn’t respond and Emma crawled in further. She kissed the bridge of her nose, her forehead, the round of her cheeks. “Excuse me, Mayor Mills”

Regina tried not to smile and rolled onto her other side “I’m occupied”

Emma laughed and climbed over her “The sheriff needs you”

“Take a message” Regina replied, eyes still closed

“Well I would” Emma kissed her ear and whispered “but, I’m not your fucking secretary, ma’am”

“Oh” Regina turned to look at her “then what are you doing in my bed?”

Emma gasped and sat up. The duvet dragged away from Regina and Emma flung it over her own head so she could see. “You screwed your secretary?”

“What?” Regina asked, pulling down the pyjama top that had ridden up. She covered her stomach quickly as cold air rushed her body.

“Which one? Here or at your old job? Isn’t that sexual harassment? Oh my god” Emma’s mind reeled at the possibilities, at everything they had gotten up to in Regina’s office and the idea of her doing it with someone else. She was jealous of people she never met, of things that might not have happened.

Regina laughed but Emma didn’t think it was funny “It would be harassment, but I have never slept with any of my secretaries. Not while I was working with them anyway.”

Emma looked over every inch of her face looking for the truth, a hidden meaning, a secret she wanted to needle out of her. Her interest lightened after hearing that there had been nothing going on with her staff. It morphed into morbid curiosity. She was desperate to know about Regina's conquests and also desperate not to. But she couldn't help herself. 

“Oh my god, so many stories. Have you slept with anyone else in Storybrooke?”

“Emma!” Regina sat up on her elbows

“Come on, I’ll tell you mine” she poked her hip and Regina jolted back to sit against the headboard.

“I don’t want to know yours” she replied haughtily, using her hand to cover where Emma had poked just in case she tried it again.

“Liar”

“Snoop”

“Anyway, this is my bed” Emma said. She sat back on the piled up duvet so it couldn’t be pulled back. She felt playful again but Regina’s playfulness seemed to be slipping away.

She watched her look down at the bed as if only just realising it wasn't hers. For a moment her eyes seemed to look into the distance. She was thinking about something else, something sad. 

“So it is” Regina said, cutting their game short.

Emma watched her, wondering what had just happened, but she didn't explain. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe she wouldn't add to the pile of problems mounting at Emma’s door. It was so typical of Regina to hold something in that hurt her so it wouldn't hurt anyone else. So well-intentioned, but so unhealthy. She disappeared into the shower before Emma could even ask if she was ok. She deflated as she heard the water start.

 

Regina closed the door behind her quickly and took a deep breath. She wondered if her bed, her house, her apple tree still existed or if they had been burned to the ground. It wasn't the material things that mattered to her, but the gesture. She cared about the apple tree more than anything she owned, the house she was happy to live without. But if the citizens of her town had razed her home, that was a clear enough message for her, maybe even for The Charmings. There would be no peace no matter how hard she tried for it. 

She rubbed her head. Who knew what she was about to face? She needed space. Snow fucking White staring daggers at her over pancakes and syrup, like her opinion even mattered, was not on her to do list. 

She took her time as she showered. She washed away her annoyance at Snow and David with Emma’s shampoo. She took deep breaths to settle the leaping anxiety in her chest as she conditioned. She washed away the fear of permanently losing her magic with Emma’s ludicrously blue soap that smelled like fresh sea air and her. She felt better when she emerged.

“Kid, shower’s free, get your butt out of bed” Emma shouted from the kitchen table.

Regina kissed her cheek. “I’ll come to breakfast, but I’m leaving early. I want some answers from Gold, and in the meantime” she picked up the cuff. Emma stiffened in her chair as if it might latch itself onto Regina’s wrist of it’s own accord “We must keep up appearances”

“You’re not putting it back on are you? What if we can’t get it off again?”

She wasn’t planning on putting it back on. She summoned a replicating charm and produced a toy version of the cuff. It looked the same, but contained considerably less life-sucking dark magic.

She took a quick breath and slid it onto her wrist. Emma watched, mouth pinched in worry while her brow wrinkled. She slid it back of her wrist and breathed out in a mixture of smugness and relief.

“Perfect” she slid the fake cuff back on, waved her hand and the real cuff disappeared in a puff of purple just in time for Henry to come downstairs.

“Nice look, Mom” Henry said, referring to the towel around her head that matched the one around her body.

“The same could be said for you sweetheart, I didn’t know you had started a Cure tribute band” she glanced at the rebellion of hair on his head. He smirked back at her easily. They fell right back into it, their routine, their loving back and forth. She almost let him pass her by but at the last moment she pulled him into a hug.

“Ew gross, you’re wet” he laughed. She kissed his cheek and let him go.

 

When they arrived downstairs Snow had a smile plastered hard across her face. David beamed when he saw Emma and Henry, but made no such show for Regina. She thought that was probably for the best. They had waffles, bacon, syrup, blueberries, fresh orange juice, hot coffee, Snow had obviously been up for hours already. She recognised the anxiety in her eyes about doing something special for her child. She almost felt sympathy before she reminded herself that Snow probably wanted her dead.

Emma answered all of their questions, some in more detail than others. She kept the harder to swallow answers brief or deflected them to Henry. Referring them to Regina had earned her little but one syllable answers. She couldn’t help it, she just wanted to be out of there and no one wanted to hear from her anyway. Emma’s nervous displacement of attention was better focussed on Henry, and he was enjoying it. Snow probed for details, events and facts. David interjected with questions like “what was that like? How did you get into that? How long did you do that for?”

When Emma got up to take their plates away Snow jumped to help her. Henry excused himself to use the bathroom and she was left with David, trying not to think about how she felt the day before when he put the cuff on her, like her soul had drained away. She sipped her juice and tried not to think about the fake cuff on her arm, how easily she could make him sorry for doing that to her. Both Snow and David had periodically glanced at the cuff while they ate. If it hadn’t been the fake one she might have been more upset by it. She wore a short sleeved top on purpose so they could both see it, both be reminded of the awful thing they had done to her.

“I hope you don’t think that just because you’re with Emma, you’ll ever be part of this family. I love my daughter, but you will never have our blessing” David interrupted her thoughts

“Oh dear” she replied, putting her glass down slowly “Charming you appear to be labouring under the misapprehension that I care in the slightest what you think”

His lip lifted a little as his anger intensified. “Well as long as we’re being honest, I think this is all a trick. I think it’s one sad last attempt to destroy our happiness. Well it won’t work”

“Of course it won’t, because it’s not a trick.” she said. True love’s kiss couldn’t be faked, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to throw it in his face. It was too private, too intimate, too important for that. 

“I don’t believe you’ve changed” he said

She sighed audibly, sat back in her chair and dropped her napkin on the table “I don’t care what you believe, David. I care about Emma. You affect our relationship in precisely one way: Through Emma. Either you act with her in mind and behave yourself, or you don’t and you end up hurting Emma and your relationship. But you can’t touch me, because my heart belongs to her and that will never change”

“Interesting terminology, like mother like daughter I guess”

She stood so quickly she almost didn’t see Emma and Snow coming back to the table, smiles fading quickly as they took in what was happening. Everyone stopped. Henry might have been listening too, wherever he was. She counted to five in her head and forced the prickling ache of dark magic down, away from her fingertips, dousing the embers of rage and indignation in her chest before they had a chance to set her alight. She slowly turned to him. He looked smug, like he had won, but he had nothing, she reminded herself. He had nothing and she had everything. She looked over at Emma was watching them both. Her next move was important for them all.

“Choose carefully, David. I have lived a spiteful life. It’s lonely” She left the table without bothering to see if he was affected by her words. She went to Emma, touching her arm so she knew everything was ok but the concern didn’t leave her eyes. “Snow, thank you for breakfast”

She nodded, still regarding her suspiciously. “Where are you going?” they hadn’t discussed logistics or what would be ‘done’ with her. 

“I have some errands to run” Replied. Snow frowned and it irked her. She had no right to disapprove of what she was doing. She had no right to even know what she was doing, but she was trying to demonstrate how she had changed. “I have to pick up some groceries, check on the state of my home, etcetera” she looked back at David “I’m not going anywhere” she lifted her arm to brandish the cuff at them. David glared back.

“Fine” Snow said “Thank you for coming”

She nodded curtly and Emma followed her to the door. 

“Everything ok?” Emma asked as she slid her coat on

“Nothing I can’t handle. Enjoy your time with them. Be patient.” She wanted to say it, it was on the tip of her tongue, it crashed against her teeth, it tingled on her lips as she hesitated.

“I know” Emma said. She smiled and she saw it in the sparkle of her eyes. She did know. Regina stopped caring if anyone was listening. She stopped wanting to shut the world (The Charmings) out of their private moment. If Emma looked at her like that much longer she would tell anyone who asked. The flurry in her stomach quietened down and she smiled a small, secret smile just for Emma. 

“I love you” She said quietly, unable to contain it any longer.

Emma’s eyes had been bright before, but they changed like looking at sunlight reflecting on water. Beautiful, glistening and completely blinding. Emma kissed her. It was tame, but she still held her at her waist. When she drew back Regina wiped the lipstick from her lips.

“Be safe” Emma said

“You want me to come, mom?” Henry asked suddenly making his presence known.

“No thank you, sweetheart”

He rushed over and hugged her. He looked at Emma in question and she shook her head. He didn’t argue and Regina was grateful.

-

“Madam Mayor, what a lovely surprise” Rumple said, glancing at the cuff on her wrist.

“I’m sure” she replied, looking around the shop. The floor was covered in shattered glass from his displays. “was there a break in?”

“A careless accident” he replied unconvincingly. She nodded and noticed the suitcase on the ground.

“Going somewhere?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no.”

She watched his face change. He was angry. She wouldn’t be surprised if he smashed his own cabinets. He had a plan but it had been ruined, and it involved going somewhere. What could have ruined that for him if the curse was broken?

“What happens when you cross the town line?” She asked. She had been the town, she had been the entire fucking curse. Something happened when people crossed the line.

“A dwarf lost his memories of the Enchanted Forest. Is there something I can help you with, only I have actual work to do, Madam Mayor. Or do you prefer Your Majesty these days?”

“It doesn’t matter, Rumple.” She waved her hand in indifference at his attempt to goad her “What are you up to? Why do I have this?” she gestured to the cuff “What are you planning?”

“My plans have recently changed, and I’m not at liberty to discuss any future arrangements with you”

She decided she would come back tomorrow, maybe with Emma. Maybe she could beat it out of him. The town wouldn’t wait for Snow and David’s decision forever. She felt time running out. 

“And that was just a security measure.” Rumple continued, looking at the cuff “Can’t have unstable former rulers running about the place with a weapon no one else possesses”

“You know magic isn’t just a weapon” she said, remembering the feeling of loss from the day before. Like someone had taken a piece of her. Like she was someone else, watching it happen. Like there was nothing anchoring her to the world she knew. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

“You know, it’s been a long time. Now I’d like to close up shop for the day. Please.” He motioned to the door.

She waited. Nothing happened. She smiled “Absolutely” she was going to leave anyway, but it had been worth staying a moment longer just to discover that Gold’s ‘pleases’ no longer worked on her. “Have a good day, Rumple” she smiled as his face turned sour. 

Eager not to be caught using magic in public, she cast a concealment charm once she was out of the view of the main road. She let it settle around her and found a shop window to check her reflection, or lack thereof. She walked over to the mansion. The damage wasn’t nearly as bad as she expected. There were a few broken windows and evidence of a lot of people stamping over her garden, traipsing mud across her porch, but no one had broken in and no one had burned it down. She was more pleased than she expected to be. She was turning to head home when she thought of her vault. It wouldn’t hurt to take inventory of anything that could help them.

The cemetery was actually quite a peaceful place. As she walked under the trees she thought about her surroundings. She rarely felt squashed into a small space anymore, but she did miss the feeling of rushing wind, not against her, but through her. She inhaled the smell of dewy grass and thought about the curse. It should have taken them back to the Enchanted Forest when it broke, but they were still here. Perhaps there was no Enchanted Forest to return to. Perhaps the curse was just wearing a little thin. Perhaps it was past it’s sell-by date. There was more than one way to break the curse, so there must be more than one way to get everyone home. But it wasn’t her home. The only thing she missed from the Enchanted Forest was Rocinante, and even he wasn’t there anymore. Perhaps this world was just another thing she would have to give up to atone for her past.

She took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on her most pressing problem. If Rumple wanted to incapacitate her, it must have been for a reason. He wasn’t scared of her, though he probably should have been, she thought. There had to be a way to get them back that involved magic she could cast. She knew the heart of the town was the the centre of the crossroads. She sat on the steps of the crypt and closed her eyes, thinking hard back to when all she was, was everything. When she knew without learning, saw without looking, felt everything and touched nothing. 

After a while she heard voices and almost hid, before remembering that no one could see her. She stayed still and hoped she had remembered to put her phone on silent.

“-a town meeting tomorrow. David said almost everyone is accounted for. Geppetto’s son is missing”

Ruby and Granny were taking the shortcut through the cemetery to where the nuns -no, fairies- lived. Ruby looked up almost exactly at where she was sitting. She sniffed and Granny turned with her crossbow. 

Fuck. She hadn’t counted on Ruby being able to smell her perfume. Ruby was looking right through her. She definitely couldn’t see her but she knew she was there. She waited.

“What is it, Ruby?” Granny was looking too. Her senses weren’t as sharp as Ruby’s but she was still a crack shot with her crossbow.

“Nothing, just thought I saw something” she said, eyes lingering on the empty space Regina occupied for a moment longer. They set off up the path again

“Well I’m glad Snow and David are taking control of things anyway. Not sure I would trust the sheriff at this point, all loved up with the queen. And who knows what happened to Graham?”

“Granny” Ruby said in a reprimanding tone that suggested the had been over this before “we know what happened with Graham, and Emma broke the curse! We can trust her”

“Yeah…we’ll see about that” Granny said as they went out of earshot again. Regina sighed when she thought they were at a safe distance, and went inside the vault when they were gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and encouragement, sorry it's been so long since the last update, I've been writing this for a year and got fatigued. Here's something fluffy, angsty and hopefully a bit sexy too =)

"Hey stranger" Max's voice warmed her heart. She felt it ache with missing him and missing normality.

"Hey, how you doing?"

"I'm good. How are you? How’s Regina?"

"I don't even get a whole 'how are you?' to myself these days? I didn't realise you missed her so much"  
she joked but there might have been a shred of truth in it, and if there was he heard it.

"Oh I miss her" he laughed easily "the company is doing well but you know how she is. It was doing spectacularly before. Anyway, don't pretend like your reunion isn't the reason I haven't heard from you in two weeks"

"Yeah...a lot has been going on" she said, rubbing her face.

"Yeah?" He asked

"Yeah. I don't know where to start"

"Any news on your birth parents?"

"Oh yeah" she laughed "big time. You know my old roommate? She's my mother"

"Fuck, what?"

"Yeah"

"I thought she was a lot younger than that. Maybe it's just the impression I got of her through your descriptions"

"She's aged well" she said, shaking her head at her own explanation.

"Wow" 

"Yeah, and the guy she's seeing-"

"Who's married?"

"Yeah, my dad. He's not married anymore, and they're back together after a long separation"

"What?!"

"I know"

"Em that's...some fairytale reunion"

"Right? It's so weird, Max” 

He laughed. She thought she heard a shadow of something in it, as if this affected their relationship and she might not need him anymore, but maybe she was projecting. "So how's that?"

"It’s not great, I’m gonna be honest. Oh and they fucking hate Regina"

"What?!"

"Yeah there's a lot of family history there"

"Wow. And how are you dealing with that?"

"I'm kind of just letting them deal with it. Regina told them to suck it up because she doesn't care what they think and they'll only hurt me if they're dicks about it"

He laughed again "God I miss her even more. She's right. It's not your shit to sort out"

"I know. It was nice to have someone stick up for me like that, I guess." her heart warmed again remembering it.

"I'll bet. I'm happy for you, Em. I'm glad you got her back. How did that happen? If you want to talk about it"

"Oh fuck. Yeah that"

"You don't have to tell me if it’s just all...yanno"

"Ha! No, I mean there's been lots of yanno, I just...it got kind of fucked up." She had no idea how to explain this. "Graham-"

"The sheriff you were kind of seeing?"

"Yeah. He...he's..." The lump in her throat was getting in the way every time she tried to speak. "He died, Max"

He was quiet for a moment "Em, I'm sorry"

"He, um..." 

Every way she could think to explain what had happened ended in the vision of him lying on the marble floor. Of Regina pale faced and unblinking. Of his deep red blood contrasting with the white stone as it bloomed out in all directions. Of Regina not looking at her, turning anger and pain inward on herself. Of hearing sirens and knowing it was already far too late. 

"I broke up with him" she whispered "I told Regina I loved her. She said it first actually, she kind of screamed it in the middle of the streer. We were drunk. I went to break things off with Graham and he seemed OK. Then he...went to see Regina"

"Oh god" Max's voice was low and serious "is she ok?"

"Yeah, she got some cuts and bruises but she's fine. He fell and hit his head on the floor. He bled out" her voice was barely audible. She felt hot, guilty tears pooling in her closed eyes. She let them go.

"Em, I'm so sorry"

"The funeral was last week. Sorry I didn't call before"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time. Oh kid. Do you want me to come see you? Do you want to visit us?"

"I don't know. I kind of want to leave here forever but my parents..."

"Yeah I get it. Whatever you need, Em. Just say the word"

She was quiet for a moment. She couldn't imagine anything that he could send her that would help. "Yeah I’ll let you know about that"

"We have great facilitators if things get out of hand with Regina and the...what are their surnames? Mary Margaret's and...is it David?"

"Yeah. Blanchard and Nolan. Or you can call them The Charmings" she said without thinking. 

Her hand slapped across her mouth as she realised what she had said. Her mind raced to think of a cover up her mistake and came up blank. All she could think of was expletives that would only make things worse.

Max's laugh boomed across the line. She could hear it filling up his home like it filled up her heart "is that one of Regina's nicknames? She's usually pretty spot on with them." Regina's sarcasm saved the day. She breathed out with her eyes closed. "Well, let me know if you want anything"

"Don't corporate take-over my relationships with my birth parents"

"Escalate it to me any time you need. I'll get the ball rolling on that, get it actioned asap" he slipped into office-speak so quickly

"Ugh, you fucking suit"

He laughed again "you're unemployable"

"Hey, I'm a fucking Sheriff"

"Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. What's your salary like? Enough to live on?"

Regina walked into the room with a folded pile of t-shirts. She didn't look over, determined to put them where she thought Emma’s t-shirts should go, and be off. Emma was starting to suspect laundry was the thing Regina did when she needed to clear her mind. Surely she could do it with magic if she wanted to.

"Yeah well, I'm kind of dating my boss so a pay rise might be on the cards"

Regina’s head whipped around and she stared. Max laughed and Emma grinned.

"That's harassment" Max said

"Yeah, so far we've managed to keep things professional. You know what she's like at work, no mind for anything else" She nudged her with her foot and Regina’s frown softened in understanding.

"Harper?" she whispered and Emma nodded

"She's focussed, I'll give her that. She usually gets what she wants" Max said

"She's right here, you wanna talk to her?"

"Sure!"

Regina took the phone with a funny smile Emma couldn't quite figure out.

"Harper, how are you?" She turned her back to Emma and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked out of the window "yes, thank you...that's kind of you to say...oh" she turned to look at Emma again and she quirked her eyebrows in question "did she?...that's true...they are, there's just a lot of history between our families. I'm sure they'll work through it for her, they would love you too Harper...oh no, I don't think there's anything to worry about there...ok, you too" her voice changed briefly. She put her hand over her chest and her voice softened "thank you Harper, so do I." She passed the phone back and Emma smiled at her.

"Hey bro"

"Em, I've gotta go."

"Meeting?"

"No, Sophia is waving at me like a mad woman. Either someone has died or someone’s getting married"

"Uh oh! Ok I'll call in a few days, love you!"

"I love you too kid, you sound better"

"I think I am" she said, as she hung up still looking at Regina. Her eyes were soft and her hands loosely together.

"Harper gives us his blessing" Regina said with a small smile

"As my only family member?"

"As your brother and best friend"

"That's pretty good"

"It's..." Regina sat down by her "it's the only opinion other than yours and Henry's that I’m interested in”

Emma reached for her hand “that's really sweet”

Regina smiled, she didn't speak but Emma could see her mind working.

“What?”

She leant across and kissed her “when we were...acquaintances”

Emma snorted “yeah ok”

“I thought you and Harper were an item”

“Ew” Emma wrinkled her nose

“And I thought I was in trouble. I hadn’t really liked anyone in such a long time and I liked you a lot. I thought you would always be flaunted in front of me, that I had been given a taste and nothing more. If it was anyone but Harper I would have pursued you. When I saw you in the bar with him I was so surprised and you were so sincere and it really was lovely to see you again” 

Emma pulled herself to a sitting position to listen.

“I was so frustrated, you kept appearing and I wanted you. And you had given me that ‘if I were married’ speech, I thought you were playing games and I was so annoyed with myself that I was so interested in you.”

“You've never told me this”

Regina had been looking off in the distance but turned to look into her eyes. They seemed full of emotions that she said were in the past.

“I was so angry with myself. The way you talked about the city, how cute and smug you were about the view from your apartment…”

Emma laughed

“And the way you give intimacy, like you only wanted to give and giving is receiving. I felt myself slipping. Every inch I gave you that night was more than I had given anyone in a long time. God when you used that line on me at the bar and you smiled like you knew it was awful and you knew it was going to work.”

“I didn't know, I just hoped really hard”

Regina watched her for a moment “Part of me hardly believes we got this far, with everything that was in our way and part of me thinks this was all already decided.”

There was something else that she wasn't saying. Emma watched her think about it. Watched her try to form it to words that Emma would understand.

“Do you ever think about going back?” Emma asked. Regina smiled sadly like it was all she thought about.

“Yes”

“What would it take?” 

“Ideally? I would find a way to send everyone who wanted to go back to the Enchanted Forest. There are things that I will never be forgiven for, and that’s ok, but if I could undo the worst thing I did to the people here, that would be enough for me”

“And if that didn’t happen? If that couldn’t happen, what would it take for you to leave?” Emma asked, pulling a loose thread from her bedding.

“If you and Henry wanted it” She looked down and her face drew into a frown “That’s it. If you truly wanted it, I would leave them all behind”

-

The music from Reef throbbed through the walls as they approached the queue hand in hand.

“I honestly can’t believe this is happening” Emma said

“Me neither. We either have to put in an appearance and escape early, or we’re completely committed to this, dancing and drinking at least as much as they do.” Regina said as Emma’s hand tightened in hers.

“I can’t believe Ruby talked us into this” Emma said through a smile that was for Ruby at a distance out of earshot

“She has a good point, though. If we want people to see who I am now, I have to show them” Regina said

“I don’t like putting you on display”

Regina scoffed “Since when?”

“I love taking you places and I love watching people’s eyes fall out of their heads when they see you, like mine did the first time”

Regina laughed “Time, singular? You gravely overestimate your face’s ability to hide your feelings, Emma. First time indeed.” she shook her head

“And they get nothing,” Emma continued as if she had said nothing “unless you grace them with a smile. I get to take you home”

“Yes you do” Regina kissed her cheek as they reached the queue

“For real, Ruby, you couldn’t even get us on the guest list? We’ve got the Sheriff, the Mayor, the rebel leader of the Enchanted Forest-SLASH” Emma put her hand up before Mary Margaret could interrupt her “heir to the throne, and you Ruby. You’re surely the most important of us all. This entire town runs on your coffee. Without you, we would be nothing”

Ruby grinned and looked at Regina

“Without a doubt.” She conceded “Can you imagine Emma without coffee and a bearclaw every morning?”

“Ruby! You were supposed to keep schtum about the bearclaw” Ruby shrugged. Emma looked to Regina “I really like the smoothies you make in the morning too though. I just get hungry for sugar”

“Uhuh” Regina smiled back. Emma wore her cheeky am-I-in-trouble-or-am-I-just-too-darned-cute-for-that? grin. She definitely knew the answer to that already.

Snow huffed and they both looked at her. “I thought we were going out for dinner”

“This place serves food” Ruby said 

“Bar snacks don’t count” Snow rolled her eyes “Ashley is coming too, she said she’ll be late. I don’t think this is going to be a late night for me, I have a lot to do tomorrow. Helping the townspeople things. I shouldn’t really be out at all”

“I’m glad you are” Emma said with a little smile.

Regina knew the power of those dimples, and the power of your child’s appreciation. A very good move on Emma’s part and Snow seemed placated.

Inside the club they found a booth to sit at around the edge of the dance floor. Regina insisted on paying for the first round of drinks and Ruby insisted on having input into what that was going to look like, so Emma and Snow were left to talk.

When they returned with five cocktails and five shots Regina was concentrating on not dropping anything and not using magic to help her balance. She didn’t realise the conversation she had walked in on until it was too late. 

“-say your bullshit detector is so good, I don’t know why you’re so taken in by all this” Snow articulated over the music

“All what?” Emma growled

“Regina!”

They both turned to look at her as she put the drinks down.

“I think I’ll get some water” she said as she turned. Ruby was right behind her and kind of walked into her. Regina backed into the table as Ruby’s legs crashed into her.

“Oops, sorry Madam Mayor, we shouldn’t have started with those sneaky bar shots” she winked and put the drinks down. 

Regina arched an eyebrow in amusement. She didn’t expect Ruby to be an ally, but she softened Snow and made Emma laugh, and no one else joked with her. She softened Snow but there was nothing less than rage on her face when Regina turned back around. Their conversation had quietly continued while she received a full frontal from a werewolf and the tone didn’t seem to have improved.

“Snow where are you going?” Ruby asked, but there was no answer.

Snow was gone. Emma brooded and Regina kept the conversation going with Ruby until it was time to change the tempo.

“Come and dance” Regina said into Emma’s ear but she just frowned at the table “I’m going to. I would love it if you came too”

Ruby seemed vastly impressed that Regina had joined her on the dance floor and looked back to Emma, disappointed she hadn’t followed. It wasn’t cramped but it was busy. Regina sung the words and she swayed and swung to the music. Ruby looked like her eyebrows were going to disappear into her hairline at the sight. Anyone who didn’t know them would think they did this every weekend and that Regina was completely happy where she was. She kept her thoughts on Emma, watching her without looking. 

“Hey! You made it!” Ruby cheered

Ashley appeared holding five shots. “Emma and Snow?” She asked, passing one to Ruby and one to Regina. 

“Snow left, Emma’s over there” 

Ashley grimaced and looked to Regina, sensing the argument and what it was about. Regina kept her eyes on Emma, knowing already that Ashley was looking for any shadow of the evil queen on face. She let her look. She wouldn’t find her. “So who gets these?”

“We do” Ruby said, offering a second to Regina.

“You go ahead, Ashley” she said

They toasted, Regina didn’t know to what, and downed their shots. They continued to dance and Regina felt Emma watching her. She kept her eyes cast down or glancing to her so she knew she was still wanted. Emma watched her back though she looked sad. She was thinking and a club with throbbing dance music was probably not the best place for it. Regina could feel someone else watching her, if she had to guess by the intensity of it, it would be that Snow had returned to talk to Emma, or someone who was going to try to hurt her. Either way she prepared. Her arms moved with ease as she let magic flow more quickly through her like blood with an increasing pulse. Her senses sharpened and she became more aware of everyone around her. She was good at keeping other dancers away from her with well placed elbows, but someone seemed to be persistently knocking into her. She turned to deal with them as she felt a hand slide down her hip, over her backside and grope. Before she could identify them in the flashing dance floor lights they fell away from her. She saw a flash of blonde hair and Emma was between them with her fist in some guy’s lapel, shoving him back, knocking him into other people.

Regina couldn’t hear what she was saying but his face was a picture of shock and fear. He got the message but Emma wasn’t letting go. In heels she was easily the same height as him. Her bicep strained and she shook him again, throwing off his balance. She wasn’t calming down, she might actually have been getting angrier. She gestured backwards and the man’s eyes fell onto Regina. She saw him mouth “oh my god” and hold up his hands “I’m sorry” he said, trying to move back but Emma held him. People were starting to notice what was happening. Regina could feel the misplaced anger in her, pouring out at this guy and getting no relief because, yeah ok he was a creep who assaulted women in clubs, but he was not who she was truly this angry at. Regina reached out to her shoulders, turning her away from him and towards her. 

“Hey” she said, trying to draw her attention away. Her body faced her, but she still watched him, mouth twisting in rage. “Emma” she tried and reached out for her arm. She ran her thumb over her straining muscle “sweetheart” Emma loosened, Regina kissed her cheek “Emma, dance with me”.

Emma turned to her, looking down she looked so sad. Regina tugged her arm. Her hand let go of the guy and wrapped around her as he scrambled away from them. Regina touched her face “you’re ok. I’m ok” she placed her hand on her chest “I know your heart hurts and I’m sorry, but we’ll fix it”

She knew Ruby and Ashley were watching them. Emma didn’t seem to care, wrapping her other arm around her and starting to sway. She kissed her, harder than usual and Regina let her. She wanted Regina to know she was hers. She wanted other people to know it too, and to know she was proud of it. She kissed her back gently and Emma seemed soothed. “You want to go home?” Regina asked. 

Emma pulled back for a moment. She recognised the look in her eye. It was the same one from the night at Kabuki Kitchen, right before she had thrown them both in a taxi and tried to fuck her in the back seat. 

“Home?” she asked again. The fire in her eyes was still there but she nodded. Regina took her hand and lead her from the dance floor. She squeezed Ruby’s arm as they passed them, hoping to convey her thanks and apologies.

As soon as they were outside Emma pulled her back into her arms and kissed her. There weren’t many people around, but it wasn’t as if she had had a chance to really look.

“Take us home” Emma said between kisses. Her hands were at her waist, crushing them together.

“I can’t” Regina replied, meeting her kisses but not escalating them “remember?”

“Come on” Emma tugged at the fabric of her dress. She almost pushed her hands away

“I can’t” she repeated, thinking of the fake cuff on her arm and how anyone could see them “Emma”

She ignored her, holding her face to kiss her harder.

“Emma, come on” she said. She thought about taking them, damning the consequences and just going. Emma needed to get home it seemed. There were no taxis around and Regina was over the drinking limit if she could find Emma’s car.

“Come on” she whispered as Emma’s lips dropped to her neck “let’s walk home, it won’t take long” Emma ignored her, coming up to kiss and bite her ear. She gasped at the feeling “Emma...sweetheart” Emma paused “please”

Emma lifted her head to meet her eyes. She looked more frightened than anything else. This wasn’t about the man in the club, it was about her fight with Snow, it was about feeling like she had to make a choice, it was fear that she was going to lose Regina, that she had made the wrong choice and it would be too late.

Regina wrapped her arms around her neck and Emma buried her face in her hair “Ok” Regina whispered “let’s go home.” She ran her fingers through Emma’s curls and rubbed her back. “It’s ok”

They walked back hand in hand and hardly spoke. Emma didn’t cry, but she sniffed a lot.

Regina didn’t make her talk when they got in, didn’t make her explain. She made tea. She didn’t really want it, but she did want to give Emma time to decide what she was doing. Was she going to change into pyjamas and talk it out, or was she going to push her against the counter and slide her hand up her dress? 

She heard Emma’s heels clip into the kitchen but didn’t look up. Arms slid around her waist and she felt gentle kisses up her neck.

“You look really beautiful tonight” Emma said quietly

“Thank you”

“I was really looking forward to dancing with you”

“We can dance here” Regina suggested

“No” Emma kissed up her neck

“No?”

“No” her hands slipped around to her stomach and came up slowly

“Well what are we going to do with our evening then?”

“I don’t know” Emma said between kisses as her hands came up to squeeze her boobs “Can you think of anything?” She kissed her ear and breathed in deeply.

“We should talk” She felt Emma’s movements still for a split second.

“Na ah”

Part of her wanted to talk, to pile their cushions at the other end of the bed and look out at the stars while Emma talked and she could reassure her. She wanted Emma in mismatched pyjamas, drinking cocoa and sharing with her. But there was another part that was just as real that’s listening to the song Emma’s singing her and never wants it to stop.

“There may be one other thing we could do” Regina said, her hand slipping up Emma’s thigh.

Emma took her hand and she turned so they were face to face. Her eyes were sad again, the fire from the club had gone. Regina touched her cheek and kissed her softly. Emma pulled them gently together, hands roaming down Regina’s form until she lifted her. Regina always squeaked in surprise when she did it, she suspected the little noise was one of the main reasons Emma liked it so much. She didn’t break this kiss as Emma set her down on the island. Emma pulled away for a moment to kiss turn kisses into the palms of Regina’s hands that cupped her face.

“I want to go down on you so much” Emma whispered and kissed her neck. Regina’s eyes were closed and her body tensed in anticipation at her words. “I want to kiss between your legs, lick and suck your clit so slowly you think you’re never going to come, just be on the edge of it forever” Regina couldn’t help her fingers curling into Emma’s hair.

“Yeah?”

“I want to put my tongue inside you”

Regina hissed a breath in as Emma’s hand snuck up her dress and grasped lace.

“I want to find your spot with it and fuck you so slow you think you’re losing your mind” Emma pulled at her underwear and Regina lifted herself a little so she could get it.

“I want that too” Her underwear was coming down over her legs. 

“Purple?” Emma asked. Regina’s eyes opened “I love you in purple”

“I know you do”

“God, Regina” Emma said and kissed her again and again and again “I’m gonna make you scream”

“I want you to”

“I’m gonna make you forget your own name”

“I’m already starting to”

“Fuck” Emma pushed her dress up and kissed up her thighs. 

Regina leant back on her hands. Emma wasn’t kidding. She took her time and Regina was already aching for attention. When Emma finally licked slowly up her lips she was straining to sit still. She shivered and Emma repeated the move.

“Emma” Regina said and it was breathless

Emma was obviously struggling with her own patience. Regina felt her tongue, hot and gentle. She was as slow as she had promised. She licked and sucked and kissed her like she was making the most of her, not trying to get her to climax, but getting her feel everything she could possibly feel. She lay back on her elbows feeling pleasure radiate from where Emma teased her, to the tips of her fingers, toes and up her spine line the outer rings of a ripple.

“God, Emma” she said, threading her fingers through her hair.

Emma hummed in appreciation and the vibration tickled. She couldn’t help but lift her hips a little. One of her legs came up and rested on Emma’s back. She was going so slowly but circles circles circles, Regina was getting close, starting to see colours behind her eyes. She sucked her clit again and her back went rigid against the counter top.

“Oh Emma” she said and it was full of want

Emma drew circles around it while it was in her mouth, sucking gently. Regina’s back arched and her palms hit the counter. Her hips moved of their own accord, needing Emma to change the speed, to give it to her quicker but she didn’t. Emma continued, slow, slow circles.

She was covered in goosebumps and shaking. She felt the point of her heel digging into Emma’s back but she couldn’t help it. Emma left her clit to slide her tongue inside. Regina felt like her body was an elastic band about to snap until Emma brought her tongue back up, slicker than before, moving easier over her than before.

It was like she had heightened everything. Every muscle in her body was taut, straining for the next movement. She gasped, short, shallow breaths and she spoke without know what she was saying. 

“I need you, I want you, I love you, make me come”

It felt so good it almost hurt, it almost burned. She almost burned with needing to climax. She felt her hips lift in time to Emma’s tongue but she couldn’t control it any more than she could her hands grasping golden curls or her gasping breaths.

She felt it coming, only a couple of strokes away. She gasped Emma’s name in broken syllables as she crashed into a powerful, racking orgasm. Emma kept pace until Regina’s hands in her hair pushed her back a little. She trembled in the aftershocks of it.

“God you’re beautiful.” Emma said, wiping her lips as she stood. Regina heard her back crack as she did. She kissed Regina’s lips, she loved to make her taste herself, but she was hardly able to kiss her back. Emma scooped her up into her arms and carried her to the bedroom.

“I know you need time to recover, but I am not at all done with you yet”

-

Regina was slicing fruit for Emma and Henry when Snow appeared at the door.

“Mary Margaret” Emma said when she answered it “I don't really want a repeat of last night”

“I come in peace” she held up a box with Granny’s Diner on the side. Emma turned to look at Regina.

She was clearly torn between letting her mother inside and trying to keep anything that would hurt them out of their spaces, but the conflict was greatly complicated by the addition of flaky pastry. Regina made no intimation either way about what she thought Emma should do.

“Ok, I'll make coffee” Emma said, admitting her mother

“I've got it” Regina said

“Ok, plates”

“Here” Regina passed them over and Emma took them

“Napkins?

“On the table already”

Emma walked up to her side and leant on the counter hand on hip. Regina pre-empted everything that would get Emma away from the table and was on it. Aside from the fact that Emma should probably resolve things with her, if anyone was due some Snow-free time surely it was Regina.

She smiled back and Emma frowned at her. She gave her a light kiss on the cheek and Emma’s dimples betrayed her.

“I'll bring the coffee over” she said softly and Emma left her.

“So” Snow started “did you have a good night in the end?”

“Well, we left kind of early” Emma said. No doubt Snow had gotten the lowdown from Ruby already about the guy who grabbed Regina “but we had a good time I think?”

Regina was concentrating very earnestly on slicing a nectarine. She felt two sets of eyes on her and nodded.

“Well that's good” Snow said “I shouldn't have tried to talk to you about...things there. It wasn't appropriate so I apologise” 

Regina turned her back to them to make coffee so Emma could face her privately.

“Thanks for apologising” Emma said “I wish you would trust me though”

Snow was quiet. That was a bad sign. Regina took it as her cue to leave. 

“Here's your coffee and some fruit if you still have room” she squeezed Emma's shoulder

“Where are you going?”

“To get ready, I have errands to run”

She closed the bedroom door but could still hear them. Emma probably knew she could but the pretence of privacy seemed important.

“I can't trust her Emma, she tried to kill me, she tried to kill you!”

“Mary Margaret, we’re going round in circles. I trust her, if you trust me you have to accept that. Haven't I shown good judgement? I’m sheriff and I have to say, I'm a pretty good one!”

Regina smiled as she slid stockings on.

“I bring people together and believe me, in this place it's hard fucking work! I am all things to all people and you can't give me an ounce of trust?”

Regina chose a black dress to wear and hoped Snow gave the right answer.

“I trust you in everything else” Snow replied

Regina grimaced, not for herself but for Emma who wouldn't consider that to be trust at all.

“And I'll work on trusting her” Snow added

Regina froze, checking her reflection, smiling at the shock on her own face.

“Thank you” Emma said graciously. 

That was obviously enough to make Emma comfortable. The sound of munching pastry followed and Regina let herself feel for the first time in a long time that things might actually be ok. She checked her reflection again, picked a long blonde hair off her side (how did they get everywhere?) and walked back into the rest of the apartment. 

“One of these is for you, Regina” Emma said almost ruefully

“Thank you, I'll save this for later if it's alright?”

“Yeah, where are you going?”

“I need to speak to Rumple”

Snow didn't move a muscle, trying to contain her reaction, which was a reaction in itself.

“Ok. Be careful, he creeps me out” Emma said

“And well he should. You have good instincts, but so do I” Regina leant down and kissed her. She tasted like strawberry jam. She couldn't help smiling and Emma smiled too.

“I'm sorry, you're going to speak to Rumple?” Snow said, apparently reaching the limit of her reticence. 

Regina straightened up “Yes, he might be out for himself but he wants to get home just as much everyone else”

“Not two days ago you were cursing the sky because we were working with him”

“Well if you hadn't given me this little gift” she brandished her cuff again “I might not have had to involve him”

“That's so hypocritical, Regina”

“No it isn't, Snow, you set this dynamic up”

Snow huffed with indignance. She turned to Emma who looked back and swallowed a mouthful of pastry with exceptional timing and picked up her mug

“You can't have it both ways, Regina” Snow said

Regina couldn't help herself, Snow set it up so well. She arched an eyebrow and looked at Emma thinking of the night before.

“Now that is definitely not true” she smirked

Emma choked, seeming to inhale coffee and swallow air. Regina smiled as she closed the door. Emma’s cheeks were apple red.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update time! I hope you like this one, things are moving along. 2 chapters after this one! Thanks for the comments and kudos, they are literally sustaining all of this haha <3

It was raining and the umbrella provided a useful to shield to keep her from the view of people she hoped to avoid as she crossed town. The last thing she needed was to be caught off guard by a vigilante dwarf. She opened the door of Gold’s shop and a bell rang overhead, as always.

“It appears that when I bought that ‘closed’ sign I was simply throwing my money away” he said from behind the counter. The broken displays had been replaced and glass swept up. 

“I’m surprised your shop is in better condition than my house, I always thought you were the more hated of the two of us” Regina said, glancing around but not really looking.

“Well, people aren’t looking for the ones they hate, they’re spending time with the ones they love. So where is Henry? Or is it Emma we should discuss?”

She knew it was provocation, the implication that they had found their real family now and loved them more. She knew it was a barb meant to tear into her. She knew she shouldn’t let it hurt her, but it did. He smiled.

“I’m not here to talk about Henry or Emma”

“Oh, and here I thought we could braid each others hair and share secrets”

“Rumple, I don’t have time for this” she sighed, genuinely tired of his games. He reminded her of her mother, always trapping, twisting, manipulating.

“No I expect you need to get back to that charming little cage they’ve got you in. I can't say I'm surprised that you absconded so quickly” he shrugged and settled his hands on the counter, all smugness and bravado that she didn’t have the patience to be caught up in.

“You need a way to cross the town line or to get to a realm with magic” His smile faded. She was only guessing but she seemed to be right. “Presumably you’d prefer our realm, where you have your...accoutrements. I want to help”

There was a pause while he sized her up. She kept her hands clasped in front of her. It was defensive body language, she knew, but she couldn't quite bring herself to play the gleeful villain. He probably wouldn’t believe it anyway.

“How magnanimous” He bared his teeth in what was no way a smile “And what do you want in return?”

If the cuff was real she would want it off immediately. She was sure he would be suspicious if she didn’t ask for it, but if he came anywhere near it, he would know it wasn’t the real one. It felt dull and real to the touch, not like the other which silently screamed with dark magic.

“I want the townspeople to be able to go too, if they choose, and I don’t want Emma involved in any of this.”

“Anything else?” He raised his eyebrows as if that was quite enough already

“I want this off. Now” she tugged the sleeve of her trench coat up to reveal the cuff and dropped it back down. She hoped that the more forceful she was, the more he would enjoy denying her. 

He laughed. “You don’t ask much, your majesty”

“I mean it, Rumple” her voice darkened

“The first two I can agree to. The last one…”

“Rumple” 

“I have a fragile truce with the Charmings, I wouldn’t want to go damaging that” he placed his hand over his heart with insincerity that she only found amusing because she was getting the better of him.

“I swear to god, I will-”

“You’ll what? You can’t do anything Regina” he stepped around the counter to square up to her. She grew nervous at his proximity to the cuff. “You've no magic, no power, not even favour with the new leaders of this poxy little town. I can see fear in your eyes. You’re weak. You’re nothing without magic. No, I’m not going to take it off. In any case it requires magic, and as you know I have none.”

He backed off and she breathed a little easier.

“In the Enchanted Forest, then” she said. 

He watched her for a moment. “Deal”

She suppressed a shudder. She had never wanted to hear that word from him again, but if she was going to send the townsfolk home, if she was going to take Emma and Henry back to their life in the city she had no alternative.

“Well there’s no time like the present I suppose. I’m just waiting for one more thing and we’ll be ready.”

“One more thing?” She couldn’t believe he was so far along in his plan. It had hardly been any time at all and he had nearly everything he needed to open a portal. “What is it?”

“Oh you know, a sacrifice, a heart-”

“Rumple, no”

“But” He held up a finger to silence her “since heart theft is frowned upon here, I was hoping for the saviour’s help. As the product of true love she should be a lightening rod for magic, but as you requested she stay out of this, we need a replacement. They would have to be very special, or very powerful”

“Didn’t you just take me out of the running for that?”

“Don’t be a defeatist, your majesty. There may be a work around yet.” He smiled and it unsettled her.

 

She stopped by the grocery store on the way home. Emma and Snow might appreciate some more time alone together. When she had been the mayor, she sometimes used to wander around the market, looking for something but never finding whatever it was she felt she needed. There was nothing really to be found and she knew it. After a while she left the store empty handed and as she turned in the direction of the loft, came face to face with David.

“Charming” she said, intending to walk past him. He stood in her way and for a moment her head tilted into a familiar threat.

“Regina, could I have a minute?”

“Fine”

David took a breath and repositioned himself. She counted to five in her head as she waited. “You were right about Emma. If things are bad between us it will only hurt her”

She couldn't help her eyebrows shooting up at his admission. She nodded “I’m glad you’ve come to that realisation”

“I want to believe that Emma sees something in you that we’re missing, I want to believe that her...what does she call it? Bullshit detector? That it works on you too”

“Oh it does” she almost laughed fondly but stopped herself from sharing that with him “Henry has inherited it, but he calls it a superpower”

For a moment David’s eyes shone with something tender, but it was gone as soon as it came. It wasn’t something he wanted to share with her. She knew exactly how he felt.

“The thing is, I just saw you coming out of Rumplestiltskin’s shop looking pretty pleased with yourself.”

She tugged the sleeve of her coat up again. Charming would never know the difference between the cuffs.

“Satisfied?”

“No”

She rolled her eyes “You should be thanking me, I’m trying to find out what he’s up to so we can get everyone home”

“You are?”

“Yes! That's the plan isn't it? Not that I would know because you won't tell me, but I'm assuming that's what everyone wants?”

David stared for a moment as if he wasn't really listening to her anymore. “Maybe between what he’s told you and what he’s told us we can figure out his plan and adapt ours to beat him to it”

She nodded as if she had been waiting years for him to come to that conclusion.

“That’s brilliant, Regina” he smiled and for a moment it was meant for her.

Her head tilted again but this time it was something much softer, curiosity maybe.

“What?” David asked, the smile slipping from his face as one grew on hers. His brow drew down with worry.

“I hadn’t seen it before”

“Seen what?” He frowned and she pressed her smiling lips together

“Her, in you”

His look of realisation wiped the resemblance with Emma from his face. She touched his arm as she passed him. She recognised a moment he should have in private, something he could feel fully without needing to be guarded, something he could share with Snow later. She smiled, thinking of the face Emma made that was so similar, so open and sweet when she smiled. She tossed her head, flicking hair from her face and walked a little quicker in the direction of home.

-

With Regina gone, Mary Margaret relaxed somewhat. It still felt weird to have her in their space. She had never come upstairs much when they were friends. Emma wasn't sure if they were friends anymore.

“I'm just going to get some water, would you like some?” Mary Margaret asked

“Sure” Emma watched her fill two glasses and bring them over.

“I don't think we’ve been alone together since the curse broke”

“Yeah, no, we haven't” Emma said

“It's really lovely to see you”

“Thanks, Mary Margaret”

“You know, you can call me mom-”

“No” Emma said more forcefully than she meant. “I can't. You understand, right? Not yet, anyway”

“Right” Mary Margaret replied, her voice catching a little, betraying that she didn't really understand at all. “I really am sorry about last night, Emma. It was supposed to be fun and I just...it wasn't the place”

“No, we probably should talk about this though. I know you have a lot of history with Regina” She glanced at Mary Margaret whose lips twitched. She was keeping in whatever remark she wanted to make, and that was probably best for everyone. “But she really is different. I can only imagine what she was like before. The book seems pretty one sided and it's scary, but she's not that person now. She laughs. She's funny, Mary Margaret. And she loves Henry fiercely. And she loves me”

“I know she does”

Emma's mouth fell open “you do?”

Mary Margaret smiled sadly. “I knew Regina once. I knew her before all of it. Or at the start, I should say. I never understood it until much later. I didn't know how to help her, I didn't realise everything I did made it worse. I didn't realise that marriage didn't equal love or that not everyone had the choices I did”

Emma sat back in her chair imagining what good it would do Regina to hear that and the healing that could begin.

“I've seen Regina in love and” her eyebrows bobbed up for a moment as she smiled a little “this is it”

Emma took a moment to let it sink in, to let her mother’s words fill her heart. The validation she felt was stronger than she had ever expected.

“But you said you didn't believe her” she said eventually

“I didn't want to, but she came to breakfast, she listened to our stories, listened to your life and listened to the pain in all of our voices. She did that for you and it can't have been easy”

Emma wiped her forehead, she wished she'd set her phone to record this. Everything Mary Margaret said was something Regina needed to hear.

“And when David had a go at her, although he was right, she hardly engaged with him at all. Do you remember what she said about hurting you?”

“Yeah” Emma answered. She thought about it all the time. When she couldn’t sleep the memory wrapped around her like a blanket. When she wanted to murder Regina for moving her toothbrush from where it lived on the side of the sink to the cup where she thought it should live, she remembered her words and tried to regain some perspective.

“As far as what we can do to her, she couldn’t care less, but the idea of us hurting you sets her on fire. So that's how I know she's changed. Oh I'm sure she wanted to burn our house down and once she wouldn't have thought twice about it, but now all she thinks of is you and Henry” Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. “So I'm having trouble accepting that her methods are good, but not her intentions”

Emma took a moment to commit everything to memory, to concentrate on recording, not feeling as she struggled to keep her eyes clear from tears.

“And it's her methods you want to control” she said, remembering the colour draining from Regina’s face as the magic was clawed out of her “which is why you put that fucking cuff on her”

“It levels the playing fields”

“What playing fields?” She asked, sitting back in her chair “I thought everyone wanted the same thing?”

“Well what is that? We’ve hardly had a chance to talk about it. Is she going to try and send us all back? Does that include you and Henry? You weren't affected by the curse, would you be split up from us again? Is it going to take another curse and if so what's the cost? There's just a lot of unanswered questions”

“Well the way to answer them isn't to ambush anyone in a nightclub or ask me what's in her head.”

She was sure she had more to say but the idea of people being sent back to the forest against their will crept into her mind. Regina would never go back. She may have been the queen there but she would much rather be herself anywhere else.

“I know, I know. We should all sit down together. I just wanted to speak to you. I want us to be friends again”

“I am your friend, as long as you're mine”

The smile Mary Margaret gave her in return wiped all doubt from her mind that she meant what she had said. Their relationship might be totally weird now, but they were going to figure things out.

-

Regina hadn’t been back long enough to make a cup of tea before there was a knock at the door. She checked who it was before opening.

“Hopper?”

“Good morning, Madam Mayor”

She frowned at him standing in the hall. His hat was in his hands and his gaze was unbearably genuine. 

“You haven’t been in for a few days, I thought I’d come and see how you are”

She didn’t really know what to say, which was uncomfortable in itself. She felt exposed now he knew who she was. She went for formality over coldness and stepped back allowing him to enter.

"I assumed our sessions would cease now that the curse is broken" she said from her position by the door. 

"Do you want them to? I would think that in a period of big changes like this, it might be beneficial to speak to someone outside it"

"But you're not outside of it. No one is"

He opened his hands "I suppose I feel I can still offer a form of impartiality"

"And confidentiality?"

"Yes"

"That was a very quick answer, doctor.” She crossed her arms “Usually counsellors say 'yes but'"

"Yes but?"

" _’Yes but, not if I think you're a danger to yourself or others.'_ Something like that, which is a large caveat in this town. With the knowledge you have about me now you could argue that the town is constantly in danger."

"Regina, I thought we had made real progress with trust. You worked through so much so you could accept Emma and her choices, choices which eventually lead to breaking the curse. You have a lot to be proud of."

"Yes well" she thought of Emma the night before and guilt twinged in her stomach. She should have talked to her, she shouldn’t have let their entire evening become about sex, it was too easy when life was exhausting to take comfort in each other and not do what they needed to. 

"Regina, can I still call you that?" She frowned at him for a moment then nodded. "Great. This isn't the time to close yourself off. I know it probably seems like you're cornered"

"I'm not cornered because apparently there are no sides, Hopper”

“Fair enough.” He smiled briefly “Do you feel threatened?”

“I feel like I should be able to live my life without this” she held up her wrist and showed him the cuff. She had to fight tears from presenting themselves. It wasn’t the cuff itself, it was what it symbolised. Even so it was embarrassing to display emotion like that in front of him now.

“Yes, that is unfortunate” he pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled apologetically. 

“But I also think this is fresh for the townspeople, they are entitled to have feelings about all of this. Emma and Henry are entitled to feelings and to have them change the more they learn”

Archie thought about that for a moment and she suppressed the urge to fidget.

“Do you feel the future is uncertain?”

“Everything is”

“Have Emma and Henry given you any reason to think their decisions, their choices might change?”

She closed her eyes thinking of Emma the night before. Desperate, empty kisses, like she was starving and the more she took the hungrier she got. 

“All I want is my family and stability. That's all anyone wants, isn't it? To feel safe and to be happy? I wouldn't allow it for so many people, for Snow especially, and now my actions mean I can't have the things that I took from them”

“Regina...you have that thing. You have it now”

‘But for how long?’ She wanted to ask

The conversation subsided and the quiet felt almost comforting. Archie had a way of making it seem like time stopped, like she had time to think and there was no rush to articulate anything if she wasn’t ready. There were thoughts in her head that she wasn’t even sure if she believed, or if they belonged to her or her insecurities, her darkness whispering to her.

The curse was broken and things weren’t fixed. Somehow she had Emma and Henry again. Would they slip away again? She wondered if an end to her relationship with Emma, to it all would be best for them in the long run. A dangerous thought, one she wasn’t sure was her own. Before she really had time to think it through she heard footsteps coming up the last wooden steps to the apartment.

-

“Hey” Emma said as she came through the door. She looked tired but as soon as she saw Hopper she went back into people-facing mode “Hey Archie, how’s it going?”

“I’m well, Sheriff, thanks for asking. I’ll be on my way now. It was good to see you, Regina” He turned to leave and nodded at Emma, whose eyebrow had risen at the informality.

“ _‘Regina’_?” she asked when the door closed

“Yes?”

“Nothing, it’s just friendly”

There was something in the way she was speaking that Regina couldn’t quite catch hold of. She shrugged.

“We agreed it in one of our earlier sessions” Emma nodded “and we’re all friends now, remember?”

“Oh yeah” Emma smiled “I have a lot to tell you about my talk with Mary Margaret”

“Oh really? Should I get a drink?”

Emma smiled “I wouldn’t, you’re gonna want to know this”

Regina nodded and Emma’s smile left her face with unease. “What is it?”

“I don’t know, I just wonder if talking with Archie about personal stuff is a good idea. What if he’s like, gathering intel?”

“He’s a fucking cricket, Emma”

“Yeah I know. I mean, what the fuck, right? But he knows you, he could manipulate you-”

“I believe my initial point stands. Anyway, you know me, you could manipulate me” her eyes widened in jest

“Yeah, into giving up that pastry from Mary Margaret and probably not much else” Emma smiled briefly and she dropped into a seat at the table “I just want things to be normal again”

“I know” she really did. Worry wrinkles that she had seen more in the last few weeks than ever before appeared on Emma’s forehead. “Last night you said you wanted to go home”

“I don’t remember that”

“You were...in the throws of it all”

“What does that mean? I was asleep?”

“No, sweetheart, you were coming”

“Oh” Emma’s face flickered in shock before she grinned “well how can you expect me to remember anything I said then?”

“I don’t, I just want to know if it’s true” she said softly

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The worry lines were still there. Regina watched as she no doubt flashed through images from her childhood of waiting for parents, to what they had as a family in the city, to what they have now. Her eyes opened again and went to the cuff on Regina’s wrist.

“Henry would never let us leave them like this”

“No he wouldn’t” She got up and slid into Emma’s lap. She looked up sadly and Regina’s arms settled around her neck. “You know, you don’t have to protect me. Even if they think I can’t use magic, I’ll still be alright”

They stayed there, wrapped up, for minutes while no one spoke.

“I’ve got an idea for when we figure this out. It involves Bobby though” Emma said 

“Bobby Venn?”

“Uhuh”

“Will I ever hear the story of why you hate her so much?”

“She just reminds me of a lot of stuff. I've known her for a long time”

“How long?”

“Before she was Bobby” Emma sighed

“She had another name?”

“Yeah, Bobby was her like, online code name until it became her actual name. She used to go by Bao-Jin Feng.”

“So what did she do to deserve your wrath?” Regina asked as she brushed Emma's hair away from her face. Emma sighed again.

“She stole my girlfriend.” Regina’s fingers curled into her hair “well, that's not really fair. I thought I found something...I did find something special. But I lost it. Bobby helped things along, but in the end it was my fault. I’m not great at keeping people” Regina kissed her temple. “I'm sorry about last night. I lost my temper but it wasn't about that guy”

“I know”

“It wasn't about you”

“Wasn't it?”

“Well, maybe it was, I don’t know”

“Wasn't it about protecting something that was yours? That is yours.” She corrected before doubt crept in “and outside the bar, wasn't that about renewing your ownership?”

Emma turned to look up at her, her arms loosened. “I don’t think of you like that, I mean I’m jealous and stuff but you’re not my _thing_ , you can’t belong to another person like that. Is that what you think I think? That I own you, like he did?”

Regina felt like a cold hand gripped her heart. There was a rush of anxiety in her stomach, foaming painfully and sloshing up into her chest.

“Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean to-”

“It's fine” 

Regina stood and Emma's arms fell from around her waist. She just needed to breathe for a moment. She went out and stood on the balcony. It looked different from that. Storybrooke looked different, small. After a couple of minutes of letting the chill get into her Emma came outside.

“I'm sorry” she said, wrapping her arms around her from behind so they could both look out at the trees.

“It's ok” she said, warmth finding it’s way back into her body.

“It was thoughtless, don't tell me that's ok because it's not. Tell me if you accept my apology”

“I do”

Emma kissed her cheek “and can I do anything to make it up to you? What do you want right now?”

“I want a bath and a very large glass of wine”

“The wine we can do, the bath...maybe it's time to check out your house?”

Regina hummed. That place was almost as full of ghosts as the Enchanted Forest. Big and echoing, the only time it felt right was when Henry was there. 

“Maybe it is”

“Let’s go with Henry tomorrow. I’ve still got a lot of stuff to tell you” Emma said

“Okay” Regina said though they didn’t move for a while. 

The sun was heading down and they watched the colour of the sky change from blue to yellow to orange and pink.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left after this one, can't believe it's so close to the end!

It felt right to go in the morning, and right to go together. Other than the minor external damage, nothing was really wrong with the house. Henry went straight to the room that was his nursery. Emma explored ahead of Regina, eyes on bookshelves and photo frames but listening to Regina going slower behind her. She loitered when Regina did, far away enough to give her space but close enough to be there if she needed anything. 

Regina stopped for several minutes at a photo. Emma wandered over and touched the small of her back.

“Hey, what's that?”

Regina held up the silver frame. It was a baby wrapped in a grey and white blanket, maybe four weeks old. Emma gasped.

“Is that him?” she asked and Regina smiled and swallowed. “I remember that face” Emma whispered

“I have so many pictures at home”

“When we go back can I see them?”

“Of course” Regina replied after a second of reading Emma’s face, set on the photo “keep that one” 

Emma sniffed and nodded. They found more baby photos, clothes and toys that Emma took a lot of time over. She rubbed the fabric of a baby blanket between her fingers and felt connected through space and time to her baby boy. 

She wanted to explore a room Regina refused to call a library (“you should have seen my old one”) which was lined with well stocked bookshelves.

“You've read all these but not Sherlock Holmes?”

“Excuse me, I have read Sherlock Holmes”

“Yeah you have now. I taught you something” Emma said smugly pulling out a leather bound encyclopaedia.

“You've taught me lots of things” Regina purred into her ear as she passed behind. It was all she could do to hold onto the book.

“Moms, come look at this!” Henry shouted from somewhere.

“Henry?” Regina called back, stalking from the room

“Moms?” Emma said to herself as she followed, another ache in her heart.

He was in the garden. 

“That's the apple tree!” He pointed

“It looks the same” Emma said “like, the exact same”

Regina approached it with curiosity. “It does” she murmured. She ran her fingers up the bark and gasped as she remembered. “This is the heart of the town”

“What?” Emma frowned

Everything she knew burst to the fore of her mind. The tree, it’s roots, what it meant to her, the part of her that the curse centred on, cast out of hate the magic had still centred around love and the closest thing to it that Regina had been capable of feeling. The tree was the heart of Storybrooke.

“I knew it was here somewhere but I couldn't place it. It's this, of course, how didn’t I remember that?” She was talking almost to herself

“What does that mean?” Henry asked

Regina’s smile when she locked eyes with him was bright and breathtaking “it means we’re going home”

-

Regina stood stiffly at Emma's side in Snow’s apartment.

“So that's the last thing that Gold needs, right? His plan was to destroy the town’s heart and...what did you say?” Emma looked to her

“Tear the fabric of this realm to gain access to another, similar to how the first curse worked, but not the same. This one doesn't have quite the same...firepower, I would imagine.”

“So what else does he have? That’s all he needed?”

“Well yeah we think so” Emma nodded 

“But you don’t know for sure?” David asked

“Why hasn't Gold told you the plan?” Snow added

“I would be suspicious if he told me more than he absolutely needed to.” Regina sighed with slightly more patience than she usually had for the woman since Emma recounted the entire conversation they had about how Snow could see Regina was madly in love with her. It was infuriating how it softened her edges. “You won't tell me your plan either and we’re supposedly on the same team now” she crossed her arms and the cuff was visible where the sleeve came up.

Emma looked between the two of them with a tight smile that begged them both to get along.

“Storybrooke sucks” Henry said as they returned back to their apartment 

“That was rather the point, dear” Regina said

“People are getting their happy endings back though, I reunited like three families this afternoon.” Emma said hopefully “But it still shouldn't be like this, right?”

“It won't be for much longer” Regina replied

“Can I help?” Henry asked

“You can set the table” Emma replied

Henry slouched like she does when she doesn't want to do whatever she's been asked to. “I meant something important”

“Oh I see. Well we have to eat to survive, dinner is important. Set the table” Emma smiled 

“How did my lovely little boy turn into a teenager in 3 months of living with you?” Regina asked

“Oh come on, he couldn't be your little prince forever” Regina turned to her sharply, eyebrows raised “I heard you call him that when we were looking at photos”

“Well” she sniffed and turned back to the counter “he is one”

“Then what am I? Co-queen? Are we lesbian mommy queens?”

“Supposedly you're a princess, darling, but I've never met one that skews the stereotype so effectively”

“A princess? That could be cool. Maybe I'll change my business cards”

“That sounds very smart. So now they'll say ‘Emma Swan, Princess and mystery consultant’”

“Just because you never figured out what I do, doesn't mean my mystery job isn't valid” Emma said, stealing a piece of chorizo before Regina could stop her

“I know what you did”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, consultant”

“Go on then”

“You used your bullsh-” she stopped herself and looked at Henry who grinned and waited for her to swear. “Your superpower for business purposes”

“Yeah, that's pretty much it. Consultant sounds way better though. I could be a consulting princess. I'd rather be a queen though.”

“Careful, your mother is next in line. Royalty can be possessive”

Emma laughed and spices jumped into her nose, making her eyes water a little “dear god, never say that kind of sh-...stuff to her”

“Oh she knows” Regina tapped Henry's hand as he went for a piece of chorizo too.

“I know she does. She’d probably bring the bow and arrow back for a reunion tour if you said it though”

Regina laughed and for a moment all three of them were giddy with how ridiculous it all was. They laughed and it felt like something old and familiar, like their life in the city.

-

“Ok” Emma said, drawing the eyes of both her parents and Henry. They sat at their kitchen table after Regina won the argument of having the home turf advantage for this conversation. “We need to talk to you about something”

Snow and David both looked at Regina, though she kept her eyes on Henry. His reaction mattered the most and she wondered if they should have found a way to tell him first.

“It's...um” Emma's brow wrinkled as she struggled to find the words.

There was a diplomatic way to explain this. There was a delicate statement out there somewhere that took into account everyone's feelings and intentions and wouldn’t add to her parents’ disappointment in her, but they didn't have time for that. Emma pressed her lips together and looked at Regina.

Regina touched the cuff on her wrist, then slid it over her hand and placed it on the table. She folded her hands and looked at Henry sitting next to her. He didn't look angry or surprised, but he didn't look pleased either.

She guessed he wanted to know the reasons first, wanted to know why she had thwarted his heroes, the good guys, when their intentions had been to help.

“Since when?” David was the first to speak 

“Does it matter?” Regina asked

“The first night” Emma replied

Regina practically felt her defensive mask of indifference slide over her face. David wiped his mouth and looked at the cuff, then at Snow. She was staring across the table at Regina.

“Why do are you doing this? Why do you insist on sabotaging this relationship-”

“Excuse me?” Regina hissed

“Why are you fighting us?”

“This is dark magic!” 

“We were trying to help!”

“Stop it, both of you. We’re not having this conversation again” Emma interrupted and they fell silent.

Regina seethed, remembering the hatred she had for Snow White and even though it had dissipated over the years and especially the last few days, at times she just could help but indulge it.

“Why did you take it off?” Henry asked

She let the rage drain from her face before turning to him. “It was an accident, but even if it wasn't...it made me feel something I haven't felt in a very long time. Something bad and scary. Even though they” she inclined her head in Snow’s direction “we're trying to help, I couldn't have stayed like that for long. No one has the right to make others feel that way” she said pointedly glancing at David.

Snow scoffed and looked as though she was going to argue until Emma silenced her with a look.

“Bad and scary like from before? Before you were the evil queen?”

Her heart ached in her chest. She wished he didn't even have to know that part of her life, that she had felt trapped and scared, alone and tormented, like a toy kept around for the occasional amusement of others but ultimately without purpose or a reason to live. She had been weak and scared and drained of life and that was how the cuff made her feel. She nodded, unable to voice any of this in front of the Charmings.

“How did you do it?” He asked “I thought you needed magic. Are you too strong for it?”

“No, son” she said, looking up at Emma who was fighting to control a blush. “It was an accident.”

She looked across at the Charmings “an accident which has much larger implications than just this. Emma took it off” There was a gasp “which means-”

“You have magic?” Snow whispered as they stared at her

“Ta-dah” Emma said weakly and looked at Regina.

“She has magic” she confirmed with warmth she usually only kept between the three of them. She let herself smile at the woman at the head of the table. Her shyness at her unknown talents. The things she still had to know about her. The woman who was so self sufficient, but quietly soaked up affection like she needed it to live.

-

The next morning they pulled up to the town line and stopped a few feet away.

“I wish we could just keep driving. I am so ready to be out of here” Emma said and took a deep breath

“Gold has the curse, I have the heart, all we need to do is ensure Henry’s safety and we’re ready. It’ll be over by this evening” Regina said with half a smile.

Letting Henry go without them was hard, no matter how sure they were that he would be ok and that they would be back with him soon. 

Rather than her bright suits, Bobby wore a leather jacket with a shirt underneath. Her hair was still epically quiffed but if Emma didn’t know better, she’d think Bobby toned down her usual flamboyance for the kid. She leant on the side of her car looking out at the trees around them. 

“Can she hear us?” Emma asked

“No, we are completely imperceptible to the outside world”

“Right” Emma said, taking another deep breath in

Regina’s hand found Emma’s arm and she squeezed gently “This is the only way to make sure he’s safe”

“I know” Emma replied, though her heart seemed to be doing backflips in her chest.

Henry slammed the trunk of the car shut and lethargically walked over to them with his bag. 

“I don't want to go without you” he said.

It took Emma milliseconds to close the gap between them and crush him in her arms. “We don't want you to go either, but you have to” she held him as long as she could without crying and released him with a kiss on top of his head.

“Mom” he said turning to Regina. He buried his face in her jacket and she wrapped her arms around him like nothing would ever get through them to hurt him. Her eyes were closed and she pressed her lips to his hair. She breathed in and Emma wondered if she was smelling him. He kind of smelled like his minty shower gel, and like home.

“Mijo” she whispered and stroked his hair “everything is going to be ok”

“You never call me that anymore” he said as tears spilled from his eyes “how do you know it's going to be ok?”

“Because” she said and he looked up to squint at her, looking for the lie. “I know that as soon as you cross that line, you will be safe, and that is all that matters” tears glistened in her eyes and they hugged one last time.

“She’s watching the road so you’d better go through the trees over there and come onto the road from the side” Emma said

“I love you guys” was the last thing he said before he was gone.

As soon as he crossed the line they turned into each other’s arms, both looking to fill the hole the barrier tore into each of them.

“He’s gonna be ok” Emma said into Regina’s hair as they watched him walk through the trees, irrevocably separated from them both.

“I know” Regina whispered but her fingers gripped Emma’s jacket as they clung to each other and watched.

“Hi” Henry said, emerging from the trees at the side of the road

Bobby jumped and spilled half the contents of the bag she was eating from across the road. Henry looked at the little snacks rolling around them on the road “sorry” he grimaced. She stared for a moment and offered him the bag. “What are they?”

“Roasted broad beans”

“Ew” he wrinkled his nose. From behind the line, Emma snorted a laugh which Regina quelled with a look. “I mean. No thanks” He amended

She shrugged “So you’re Henry” she rolled the bag up and dropped it through the open window onto the dashboard of the car.

“Yep. You’re Bobby”

“Yep.” she nodded “Henry, do you always go walking through the woods to scare the crap out of strangers you’re going on roadtrips with?”

“Yeah, always” He smiled

“Smart kid.”

 

“She's kind of like you” Regina said watching them talk. “She talks to him like an adult, you do that”

“She's not like me” Emma huffed. “And my leather jacket is nicer than hers”

“Which one?” Regina smiled up at her.

 

“So what did your moms tell you about me?” Bobby asked

“Mom told me you’d take me to my uncle Max’s and you have all the details”

“Yep”

“I have them all too just in case. Emma told me to trust my instincts”

Bobby nodded “that sounds like her. Anything you wanna know before we head off?”

“Does your car have a name?”

“Mushu”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I owe Regina a favour” He frowned and looked up at her “Holy shit”

“What?”

“You look just like her!”

“Like who?”

“You have Emma’s bullshit detector, don’t you? God damn, I was gonna have so much fun telling you about how Emma used to work for the mafia but you’re not gonna believe that, are you?”

“Nope. Why are you really doing this?”

“Honestly? I owe Emma more than a favour, but don’t you dare tell her I said that. Anything else?”

“Do you have any better snacks and can I be in charge of the radio?”

“Wow. Cookies in the glovebox and not even a little bit, but well done for trying”

“Maybe we can take turns” Henry said, getting in

“Did Regina teach you negotiation tactics?” Bobby asked, opening her own door with a smile 

“You’re derailing” was the last thing they heard him say before the door closed.

They watched until the car turned out of sight. Emma let out a long sigh and Regina wiped her face gently.

“He’ll have a great time with Max”

“Harper had better not spoil our son”

“Yeah our son. His nephew” Emma smiled and Regina couldn't quite hide hers at the idea of Henry's family getting a little bigger, like he always wanted.

“Ok, let's get this over with, we could be having dinner with them tonight” Regina said as they turned back to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to be honest with you guys, I'm thinking about taking this one down. I was so new to writing when I started this. I really didn't expect it to go the way it did (let's be honest, we all got a bit lost in the middle with all the pain, wow that was tough). There's only 1 chapter left so I would finish it before taking down, but I feel like this fic was such a huge learning curve. Anyway, let me know what you think!


	26. Chapter 26

The atmosphere in Storybrooke was quiet and electric. Regina scanned the sky from lightest white-grey to where the dark clouds seemed to threaten more than just rain. She had turned the lights on in the apartment that morning and it felt wrong.

 

“Gosh this looks like rather a different ceremony doesn't it?” Gold said as he strolled up to the group, clenching a scroll in the fist that wasn’t swinging a cane. Regina and Emma stood beneath the tree with The Charmings standing protectively behind their daughter. “Dearly belovèd, we are gathered here today--”

 

“To break the curse, and go home.” David interrupted.

 

Gold stopped walking to give him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Something about that scenario you don't like, David?”

 

Keen not to hear another admonishment of their relationship, Regina interrupted. “Perhaps we just have better things to do than indulge your childish behaviour. Step to, Rumple” she said, motioning his position by the tree.

 

“Dear me, we are all a bit crabby today.” He said. Met with a quartet of dirty looks he took up his place. “Alright, everyone clear on the plan? Regina you're going to be our conduit as you are the  _ second _ most powerful practitioner of magic here.” She rolled her eyes. “As well as being the only one with magic here. I will obviously share in the giving of magic. Things will begin to chance once the curse begins to unravel, starting with the return of magic to those nearest the source. Using you alone would be,” he inclined his head slightly, “an abrupt use of resources.”

 

Regina saw Emma turn to her from the corner of her eye but ignored it, choosing to exhibit nothing but indifference for Rumple’s benefit.

 

“Obviously those two share true love.” He inclined his head towards Snow and David and continued. “And, well, it seemed odd to leave you out, sheriff. Perhaps if the curse takes too much from Regina and I, you can shoot it.”

 

Emma nodded. “I'll add it to the list of things I wanna shoot right now”

 

Regina smirked. “So you'll get rid of this so I can control my magic, yes?” She held up her cuffed wrist.

 

“Once we’re started, yes. I’ll have some magic and the others will hopefully amplify it.” 

 

They shuffled around the tree. Regina stood next to Gold and took Emma's hand on her other side. Snow took Emma's other hand and David's. Gold pulled the stoppe from a small vial and sprinkled something shiny on a scroll he held.

 

“Fairy dust.” David said with a frown.

 

“Indeed.” Gold replied with a sigh, as if he were loth to use it.

 

He blew the curse from the scroll towards the tree and took Regina and David’s hands. It looked like black ink swirling in the air as it began slowly circling the tree.

 

Regina felt a wave of sickness over her, and bile at the back of her throat. The pressure in her ears made her head swim and a anxiety felt like it cracked her chest in two.

 

Dark magic, evil and power vibrated in the air around them. Regina tasted metal and felt the cold fingers of the Evil Queen creeping up her spine. She suppressed a shudder and forced a swallow. Purple magic sparked out of her chest and she physically started. Rumple laughed and Emma squeezed her hand. The swirl of darkness around the tree grew She felt magic being torn from her and let it go as if she was really wearing the cuff, without controlling or channelling it.

 

“Holy shit!” Emma said from beside her. Magic crackled from their joined hands and passed through Emma to her parents who gasped as it shot through them. 

 

“Do not let go whatever you do!” Gold warned, raising his voice over the magic whipping up the air around them. His pupils seemed dilated despite the bright light sparking from Regina’s hands and chest. 

 

Her jaw clenched as she felt magic touch depths of her that it hadn’t in years. The blackness sped up. The colour of it changed to purple as it merged with her own magic and the inky texture changed to smoke. The tree might have been moving, she couldn't tell. She could tell that her magic was pouring out of her at a speed she couldn't control now if she tried.

 

“Gold!” She struggled to turn her head to him.

 

“Just one moment.” His hand was on the fake cuff but he couldn't tell it was a replica. They were all soaked in magic and he couldn't feel that it had none. 

 

“No, now!” She shouted through gritted teeth. She could feel her energy circling the drain.

 

“Just wait!” He snapped.

 

“Emma!”

 

She felt Emma call up magic within her, felt her focus on the real cuff in her pocket and Gold’s wrist, the real cuff and Gold’s wrist and suddenly the flow of magic coming from her dwindled to a trickle.

 

“Regina!”

 

She felt Emma's arm around her back, still holding her hand.

 

“What! No!” Rumple screamed “no no no!” His hand crunched down on Regina's as his own magic was torn from deep within him. 

 

“Mom?” Emma shouted 

 

“We’re OK, Emma!” Snow yelled 

 

“We need to let go!” Regina heard somewhere in the distance, maybe it was Emma.

 

“What?” Another voice was lost in the roar of magic 

 

Someone replied but she didn't register the words. Everything became dark, and quiet, and still.

 

-

 

Regina drifted in and out of consciousness. She heard her name. She heard familiar voices. Once or twice she opened her eyes but everything was a blur and the effort it took to keep them open overwhelmed her. 

  
  
  


_ “Did she say something?” _

 

_ “Henry’s name, same as always.” _

  
  
  
  


_ “Isn’t it creepy to facetime her if she’s asleep?” _

 

_ “Ma, she’s not gonna know.” _

 

_ “Dude, that’s why it’s creepy.” _

  
  
  


_ “What are you doing today?” _

 

_ “We’re watching Finding Nemo, it’s mom’s favourite bit, she loves Peach.” _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ “She’s voiced by Alison Janney.” _

 

_ “No way!” _

 

_ “Yeah, she always laughs when she says ‘root canal’.” _

 

Shaking at the foot of the bed roused her a little. She moved her head and saw Emma propped up on pillows with her face obscured by an ipad. The noise from the movement drew Emma’s attention. She smiled and Regina felt pressure. It took her a moment to realise it was Emma squeezing her calf.

 

“Woot canaw?” Emma laughed and she felt a smile stretch across her face as she fell asleep again.

 

-

 

Regina wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed when she was able to get up and out of the hospital. She walked slowly with her arm linked through Emma’s as they headed to the diner. She couldn’t be sure, but she suspected Emma walked just a little bit taller this way.

 

“Good morning.” Snow said, sitting up at her table in the diner.

 

Regina nodded and sat down slowly.

 

“I’ll go get our stuff.” Emma said and went over to the counter.

 

Regina looked around. It seemed less busy, but people were gathered there as if waiting for something. Emma ducked behind the counter, exchanged a few words with Granny and made a fresh pot of coffee.

 

“Things have changed pretty quickly.” Snow said.

 

“So it seems.” Regina replied with a hoarse voice.

 

“Hey guys, coffee’s on.” Emma said, dropping into the booth next to Regina. Her arm went behind her, fitting nicely into the curve of her back to her hand could rest easily on Regina’s hip.

 

“So,” Snow shuffled in her seat a little, “we need to have a conversation about how this is going to go, Regina.”

 

Regina opened and closed her hands again signalling for her to continue. 

 

“David is scouting the portal we opened. So far it seems like the Enchanted Forest, or what's left of it. A lot has changed in 28 years.”

 

Emma cleared her throat.

 

“So,” Snow continued, “there will need to be a significant period of healing and rebuilding.”

 

Regina waited for more but nothing came. Two sets of eyes watched her and she glanced between the two.

 

“Yes?” Regina asked.

 

“I knew you weren't going to make this easy.” Snow shook her head.

 

Emma bit the inside of her lip while Regina tried hard to hang onto the remainder of her patience.

 

“Snow, will you just get to the point? What do you want me to make easy for you?”

 

“It shouldn't be you. You did all this- I'm sorry Emma but it's true!” Snow held up a hand as Emma opened her mouth, closed it and sighed. “It should be me who leads the kingdom now, who heals the kingdom and rebuilds.”

 

“I see.” Regina said, though she didn't really know why Snow was telling her this. 

 

“I'm just gonna help Granny out.” Emma got up to pour coffee and serve customers.

 

“Ruby is with David?” Regina asked as her eyes followed Emma to the bar where Granny seemed to be serving, cooking and taking payments at the same time.

 

“Yes.” Snow said impatiently.

 

“What of Rumple?” Regina asked.

 

“No one has seen him or Belle since you opened the portal.”

 

“Didn’t  _ we _ open the portal?” Regina sneered.

 

“Not really, Regina, it was mostly you. We could feel it and we saw it, but you did it.”

 

There was a pause where Regina nodded and Snow looked out of the window at the town.

 

“I think it would be fitting for you to stay on as mayor.” Snow said.

 

Regina’s head snapped up to look at her “What?”

 

“You should stay as the mayor. You know how to run the town, Henry could go to school here, Emma could visit us easily from here.”

 

“She...what?” Snow sighed with the weight of the world. “Snow, I'm not staying in Storybrooke.”

 

Snow’s mouth fell open. “Regina you can't seriously think we’ll let you be queen again?”

 

“Not only do I not need your permission, Snow White,” Regina spat, “I don't want it. I never want to see that place again.”

 

Emma appeared with two cups of coffee and disappeared again. Regina and Snow looked at each other so hard neither of them actually noticed her.

 

“You don't?”

 

“No.” Regina sat back. She saw the same little girl she always did. The little girl who dreamed of and idealised the royal life, who had wishes granted by fairies and struggled to imagine any other way.

 

“But the kingdom and all the power you had, all the power you have here!”

 

Regina shrugged and looked over to the counter where Emma had a washcloth over her shoulder and passed out food from the kitchen door while keeping it open with her foot.

 

“It means nothing, Snow.” She looked back. “What counts is freedom. And choice.”

 

Snow stared for a moment. “Well I have to say I’m impressed.”

 

“I don’t know why you’re trying to put me off it.” Regina picked up her cup and glanced at Snow over the rim as she sipped. She smiled in return.

 

“I’m not, I just think when someone does something good, they should be commended.”

 

“Oh god.” Regina put her cup down. “Forget I said anything, I’m going back to the forest to rule as queen again.”

 

“I just think you’ve grown so much as a person”

 

Regina considered herself to be a strong person. She’d been to hell and grappled her way out of it. There was nothing the world could throw at her that she couldn’t handle, but that didn’t mean she had to sit and listen to Snow trying to reinforce what she saw as good behaviour.

 

“Goodbye Snow.” She said as she stood from the table.

 

“Wait!”

 

“What is it?” She sighed.

 

“Who will we choose to rule the town?”

 

Regina stared for a moment but the question was completely genuine. Snow’s eyebrows had drawn together and her mouth pulled down at the corners.

 

“Run elections, Snow, it’s called democracy.”

 

“Really, Regina?” She asked.

 

“I held an election, it’s not my fault no one else chose to run.” Regina bristled.

 

“Right.” Snow smiled knowingly.

 

“Well I look forward to hearing how the dismantling of monarchy goes over in the forest. Goodbye Snow White.”

 

Regina walked through the crowd to the kitchen. People moved out of her way as always, stared as always but maybe stared less hard. She pushed the kitchen door open.

 

Emma was piling plates on top of plates.

 

“I told Granny I’d do these for her.” 

 

Regina waved a hand at the mountains of dishes and when Emma turned to look at them they were clean and stacked by size.

 

“Seriously? Have you been able to do that this whole time?”

 

Regina shrugged. “I never minded dishes.”

 

“Unbelievable.” Emma said as she threw the dishcloth onto one of the counters “I can’t believe you let me do the dishes all this time.”

 

“It’s good for you.” Regina said as she pushed the door open again.

 

“You’re good for me.” Emma said and kissed her briefly on the lips.

 

Regina smiled widely before seeing Emma look behind her and turned around. Regina followed her gaze and saw the patronage of the diner staring at them. Oops.

 

“Got something to say?” Emma asked the crowd as her arm found its way protectively around Regina’s waist.

 

“Yeah.” Granny said from the end of the bar. She had a dishcloth in the fist that rested on her hip. “Some of us have a lot to say, sheriff.”

 

Regina was ready shut them all up. Emma had only ever done her best to serve them and this was the respect she got? But a smile from Archie leaning on the bar stopped her.

 

“We might all be here because of you,” she directed at Regina, “but I’ve never seen anything like the what you did to open that portal. Me and Ruby sensed it from a mile away. That was no mean feat, Madam Mayor.”

 

Regina looked back at everyone staring at her. She had never been in a situation like this before. People watched her expectantly but she didn’t know what to do. “Well it wasn’t just me.”

 

“Yes it was.” Snow said from somewhere in the crowd and everyone turned to her. Everybody turned. “Without Regina we’d be stuck and David, Ruby, the Dwarves, Thomas and Gus wouldn’t be out making sure it’s safe for us to go back home.”

 

Everyone turned back, like watching a game of tennis, only Regina felt more like the ball being batted back and forth.

 

“Well, Emma--” She began.

 

“Nah, it was really all you. Your plan, your magic. She tricked Mr Gold.” Emma said to the crowd. “For like days, not just once.”

 

“Well--” Regina tried

 

“And found the heart of the town.” Snow said.

 

“And made a damn mess of the rest of the place, I’ve still got apples stuck in my chimney, but that’s a small price to pay to be able to go home. I’m not saying you’re forgiven for everything you’ve done just yet, but any idiot can see how hard you’re working to put it all right, and I can respect that.” Granny said.

 

She felt Emma’s hand on her back nudging her out of the space. Denial wasn’t working, maybe she could just leave before Snow started a cheer in her honour. Some people smiled at her, some clapped before she turned her frown on them and they stopped. Some faces she passed were neutral, neither filled with grateful admiration or hate. They were the ones that struck her the most. She wasn’t hated. People who definitely had the right to hate her might be leaning towards the idea of forgiveness.

 

She was lost in the thought and didn’t see Snow preparing to assail her with an embrace.

 

“What in the hell?” 

 

“Thank you Regina, and well done. I’m so proud of you”

 

“Get off me.” 

 

Somehow Snow was still smiling when she finally released her. She turned to Emma to see her smiling too. If it wasn’t for Emma she would have permanently put that idea out of Snow’s mind, but Emma looked happy. Hopeful even. She turned back to Snow, chin jutting out just a little as she took a moment to choose her words.

 

“A little warning next time?”

 

“Sure.” Snow smiled so hard it looked a little painful. 

 

She attempted a smile before leaving. The fresh air of Storybrooke had never been so welcome on her face.

 

“Well you survived breaking your own sealing curse to get into the town.” Emma said. Regina turned to face her. Her hair was caught in the dying evening light, it looked deep golden, orange almost. “You survived what’s starting to look like a death curse Gold planned for you, and most recently, an emotional group hug from the town and a literal group hug from your step-whatever slash kind of mother in law.”

 

Regina shuddered.

 

“What do you say to a rest and a little time away?”

 

“I say yes.” Regina smiled.

 

“Great, then I’ll drive.”

 

Regina’s stomach leapt. “Drive?”

 

“Yep.” Emma beamed. “We finished the plans for the protection of the town this morning.”

 

“You didn’t say!”

 

“Surprise!”

 

“Where’s my car?”

 

“Oh, you don’t really have a car anymore.” Emma grimaced.

 

“What happened to it?”

 

“Well with the whole, breaking the heart of the town, death curse, magic tornado thing…”

 

“Emma...”

 

“You threw it in the sea.”

 

Regina blinked for a moment and took in Emma’s cringe. Her nose wrinkled a little, as did the corners of her eyes. 

 

“I see.”

 

“So I bought a car!” Emma gestured across the road to the yellow bug.

 

“What is that?”

 

“It’s a 1972 Volkswagen Super Beetle Type 1.”

 

Regina looked up at the sky. It was a light white-blue with clouds illuminated from below by the setting sun. She was a patient women. It was just a car, of sorts. She wondered what Bourneville would make of it. Suddenly with the name of her longtime friend and driver, home felt tangible. She saw Henry collecting bay leaves from the tree on the porch and running back to the kitchen to help her cook  _ arroz con gandules _ .

 

“I can’t wait to for our first movie night back, just us three.”  Regina watched Emma’s face and she talked, brighter than she had seen it in a long time. “What about you?”

 

“I…” Everything, she couldn’t wait for any of it. 

 

There was a crash behind them and they both jumped. Regina’s hand when up out of instinct, ready to fire. Snow leapt at Emma before she even realised what was happening.

 

“Mary Margaret?”

 

“Oh Emma, I’ll miss you so much!” Her mother said, holding her very tightly for such a small woman.

 

“Well, we said you could come visit.”

 

“I’ll miss speaking to you.”

 

“That’s what skype is for.”

 

“We don’t have wifi in the castle, honey.”

 

“Well, that’s your thing. You’re going back to your life, it’s your choice. I’m going back to mine.”

 

Snow sighed and smiled sadly at her daughter. Regina was torn that Snow was going back, between disappointment on Emma’s behalf and relief on her own.

 

“Regina.” Snow turned to her. She held out a hand before Snow could accost her again. She took it in both of hers and squeezed. Trust Snow to make even a handshake weird.

 

“Snow White. Good luck with the kingdom.”

 

Snow nodded and looked back at Emma. There was a faint pinkness about her cheeks, Regina wasn’t sure if she was sad to leave or embarrassed at the fuss being made of her.

 

“You’re going straight there?” Snow asked.

 

“Yeah.” Emma looked up to Regina.

 

“We’re going to get our son.” She said, eyes fixed on Emma’s.

 

When Snow let Emma go for the final time they walked out to where the car was parked.

 

“I can’t wait for breakfast with him. I’m going to cook everything he likes and we’ll eat in the garden, it must be in full bloom now.” Emma took Regina’s hand as she spoke and they crossed the road. “We’ll take him to the comic book store and--”

 

“Is it true you’re reading The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl?” Emma interrupted.

 

“Absolutely not.” Regina’s strides towards the car lengthened. 

 

Emma laughed. “Henry said you picked it up as a joke because he always got the same thing, but you actually both really like it.”

 

“All lies, Miss Swan.” Emma laughed again, not just a giggle but a full laugh. Regina turned around to reaffirm the complete lie she had told but found herself laughing too.

 

“Miss Swan, I really--” Emma straightened up, still smiling, turned her by the shoulders and nudged her towards the bug.

 

“Get your ass in the car you nerd, we’re going to get our kid.”

 

She should have argued, she shouldn’t let herself be spoken to so rudely, but they were going to get their kid, their son. Their son! Instead she smiled and dropped into the seat, through the door Emma opened for her.

 

“Did you open that because you have to be gentle so the handle doesn’t come off and you thought I’d break it?”

 

“Yep.” Emma said, dropping into the driver’s seat. “Seat belt, nerd.”

 

“Oh it has seat belts, how modern.” She turned to sneer playfully but found herself nose to nose with Emma Swan.

 

“Safety first.” Emma said in a low tone.

 

“You’re a dork.” Regina replied in mock admiration.

 

“Whatever Squirrel Girl” Emma leaned forward and kissed her.

 

It wasn’t the best kiss they’d shared. It was an awkward angle. Emma smelled like coffee and Regina thought she probably did too. There was far too much car in between them but it was their last in Storybrooke and their first in their new life.

 

When they separated Emma nudged her nose to Regina’s. Regina took a deep breath as Emma pulled away from the curb.

 

“Miss Swan.” Regina sighs to herself, seemingly lost in thought.

 

Emma turned to look at her. She knew it was a statement, not a question. And she agreed. Who’d have thought? Emma grinned and turned to face the road out of Storybrooke. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is finally finished. I hope you enjoyed it. I learned a lot from writing this fic. Thanks for sticking with it!


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